Direct Messages - Narcissa

Narcissa 12-Sep-18 10:05 AM

HI!

post plans here

also

lets use Discord to communicate en route

and if discord fails

use twitter.

k

tomorrow

yea all good ❤

✨

come into airport i think

i shaved. I will epilate later today

lol

laundry im so lazy i have a bunch of clean clothes i might just use those LOL we'll see. maybe ill get it done.

epilating does hurt

shaving does not

i could bring it, if you'd like to try it

tis okay

lol

ill bring the epilator

you can try it

mmk.

are you allowed to be kind aloudish in your apt

epilation is kinda loud

its ok

im sure its fine but

i dont wanna use it during night at my place

seems like it would piss people off

shit is LOUd

nice

yaaay i get to cuddle my neet internet bf soon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

yes

its small

ok ok I should go for now.. nn yhay

ill be st reaming again soon, prob an hour or so

more attempts

im still so bad at a lot of the run, my gameplay isn't clean

ah well

okokok

cy a then

also wow mechanical keyboard is ncie.

❤ ❤

oh noo food place is closed

fuk

according to google its open but according to their online ordering it's closed

lol

yea I order online then pick up

usually

when i wanna go out and grab food

wait I guess

lol

need to insert a memory card

somewhere in the settings

controller setting somewhere

blah how should I kill an hour

I dont feel like going live

may be I should begin the epilation

?? you cleaned and got food yea?

you did a lot!!

im the one so lazy I can't be bothered to do laundry

lol

i don't suspect we'll be in public much at al l

just to get to your place

Narcissa 12-Sep-18 12:00 PM

no idea haha

im gonna stay up as long as I can today I guess

and be probably tired about the time I get therre ?

nintendo direct then i catch a flight. so nice

how fun

got gendered female @ chipotle, felt good "she can go in front of me, err" lol the err was like "wait is this a girl" but their instinct was girl which feels good a good omen I think

yeah

me too

watching apple event, eating, epilating

Narcissa 12-Sep-18 12:47 PM

hurts yeah. 1 leg done

lol (edited)

is cent urylink your internet

Narcissa 12-Sep-18 01:27 PM

yeah that stuff sucks

Narcissa 12-Sep-18 01:48 PM

done. another neighbor started making loud buzzing noises so maybe i pissed him off

lol

phew

my body will be very nice tomorrow, nice and soft. can epilate whatever remains tomorrow I guess. at the risk of making my neighbors angry

i don't use epilation on my face and i do get facial hair unfortunately, do you have shaving cream, i'll wanna use it every morning in the shower

yeah good

sigh

wish my face was cleaner

someday

Narcissa 12-Sep-18 08:54 PM

blah never got laundry done lol. I think my clothes are mostly cleanish though

im tired,,,,

yeah i am

yeah I know. I cna sleep on flight though

but I'll prob need to sleep pretty soon once i'm there

mmk

I will! hopefully very long,

big hugs when I see you tomorrow night ❤

^_^

mmk laying down now

gl with chores

cya tmrw

Narcissa 13-Sep-18 01:01 PM

I won't be streaming today, heading to the airport in like an hour. lol

very early but yeah I have 2 flights to cat ch

see you tonight!!!

Narcissa 13-Sep-18 01:36 PM

ill see it on my phone @ the airport

Narcissa 13-Sep-18 07:40 PM

Your time yes. Hi from 30000 ft. This internet cost 10bux

I think both flights are about 2hrs, halfway done with flight 1.

Idk Haha I just wanted to go online. I'm a fiend

It's weird up here

1

Endless expanse

I tried to send photo

Didn't work

hug. real hug soon

=)

I'll try again

Test

1

Narcissa 13-Sep-18 09:17 PM

flight 1 landed safely

Narcissa 13-Sep-18 10:02 PM

on flight 2

I guess 2 more hours till I land maybe

Narcissa 13-Sep-18 10:18 PM

<3

Narcissa 14-Sep-18 12:11 AM

Landed

Gonna be a bit till I'm off this

Yeah no delays

Been a long day of travel, I probably look disheveled. Very tired

Plane touching ground woke me up though

Eh barely

Good sleepy time at your place

=)

Getting off plane soon. Where u

K

No bag

I travel light

Yeah

Uh I'm a bit self conscious of my appearance

Ok see u soon

Finally getting off the plane

Narcissa 18-Sep-18 10:59 AM

Awe

Narcissa 18-Sep-18 11:40 PM

hey you ❤

hahah

Narcissa 19-Sep-18 04:10 AM

✨

Narcissa 19-Sep-18 04:27 AM

ah yeah im about to sleep

sleeping alone .... v_v

i'll think about that... mindset

wish you well!

❤

Narcissa 20-Sep-18 02:35 AM

how was the meditation?

Narcissa 22-Sep-18 07:11 PM

Narcissa 24-Sep-18 11:10 AM

yeah. thank you i love that picture you took

i guess not making money doesn't mean im a human failure

people should be free

i just wanna be in my zone

you deserve that too

ok

im gonna take a bath soon

perspective remember

yeah

Narcissa 25-Sep-18 11:40 AM

they're evil

Narcissa 25-Sep-18 08:17 PM

❤

I felt safe around you too

Narcissa 01-Oct-18 03:25 PM

her face got posted on kiwifarms because you used it as an avatar

it's bad imo

just change it

what do you think is wrong exactly

hmm maybe I could express myself by posting pics of you on twitter

https://elladawson.com/2018/07/08/we-are-all-public-figures-now/

Ella Dawson

We Are All Public Figures Now

You become a public figure the instant that someone else decides you are worthy of interest, even if you are minding your damn business.

yeah neither is dizzy and she's sort of at risk of being fucked with by the creeps from kiwifarms, drawing more attention to her among that crowd is 'wrong' and you did that already. you should just change it now and cut your losses.

ok i'm being a bit unfair but still

well you could argue that

me showing her music vid on my channel is doing the same thing

which is true

i dunno

i felt bad her pic got posted. i felt bad your pic got posted

that place is awful

i just don't want her dragged into the shithole cause of me, you, us, this community, my whole discord, or whatever

i dunno

nobody deserves that, these ppl are really awful

i dont have words really

hmm

this is related to copyright

sort of

image

it's about image, symbol

spreading of image / meme

yeah i just mean

image

or

identity

she just had disabled her twitter not that long ago because of some creep stalking shit

she's back now but

idk

kiwifarms is like a hive of creepy stalker shit

who is Aurora

there's no line

it's all a blur

i just had bad feelings about it

ok but you already censored yourself

so you put someone else in place?

you had your pic

you removed it because of kiwifarms

then you subject dizzy to the exact same thing

???????

yeah

so if you repeatedly use the image

and they are still paying attention then

they might wonder who that is

then she gets dragged into it

like they found my moms twitter

they're a little obsessive

thank you.

if you don't want them to win

then use your own photo

if you dont want them to win

then don't be afraid to talk to me on stream

you already let them win when you removed your own profile pic

so don't fucking come at me with that shit

Also, someone alerted me that Kiwifarms put up my picture, which, of course they did. I can't handle people knowing about me. I thought I could, but I wanna be invisible. I felt like I had to take down my twitch so they don't get video of me too. I'm sorry; I just can't handle that kind of attention. Maybe I could if I were more successful, but I'm nothing. I don't feel good about anything anymore.

so she's fair game to dangle in front of a bunch of sociopaths

??

you just said you wanted to be a streamer on the phone. you exist online

immortalized on page 137

anyway

the whole point

was i felt bad her pic got posted there... yours too. but mitigate the damage.... i guess

i see why its cool to use her pic

and in a better world

maybe it wouldnt be so bad

but it gave me a bad vibe

i've been dealing w/ this shit for some years now

it's a bad fuckign thing

you know it's bad, that is what prompted you to get rid of your photo

so

be courteous to other ppl who may be at risk of being stalked or whatnot

you gave them agency when you removed your pic... cmon

it can't go both ways

then use your picture!!

your photo why not

actually

i like the drawing more

its a good avatar

im saying on principle

if you actually think it's the wrong approach

you would have kept your pic

that's all

and by your pic I mean

you deleted it after you saw kiwifarms right?

I felt like I had to take down my twitch so they don't get video of me too. I'm sorry; I just can't handle that kind of attention.

they literally made you remove the pic AND delete your fucking twitch

YOU gave them agency!!!!!!!

!!!!

I felt like I had to take down my twitch so they don't get video of me too.

their actions cause you to change your behavior

then you criticize me for doing the same, to try to protect others akin to how you protected yourself

that is hypocritical

https://elladawson.com/2018/07/08/we-are-all-public-figures-now/

Ella Dawson

We Are All Public Figures Now

You become a public figure the instant that someone else decides you are worthy of interest, even if you are minding your damn business.

no

no difference

you think the type of people on kiwifarms wouldn't stalk or harass her?

why are you a 'private person' , you became one the moment your saw their posts. turns out, having creepy fucks giving you attention is not cool, and you would rather avoid that I'm just trying to make it so she can avoid that too

no

not the wrong choice

you let them win the moment you took down your pic

yeah., so be courteous of others too

you could also yknow not steal other people's identity

;P

yeah

anyway

have you?

I wanna tell you something

on smashboards

I used an avatar of Alizee, the singer

on speedrun.com I used an avatar of La Roux, the singer

so, I get it

it's just these ppl are shit

and they are creepers

he's seemed relatively tame? have I missed something

is he??

how do you know

alright ill ban him

i banned him

don't feel bad

name pls

publisher?

could be fake

prob not even real name

idk who that is

fits with 'bagnalla' but could be a pseudonym

dunno wh that is

whats the photo from

same name via the site? haha this 'defensive doxxing' shit

what a mess, this reality

anyway I have no clue who that is

it used the name A. Bagnalla on the site?

on the university

err Bagnall

ok

just some random person

so weird

he talks like someone I know

guess it's not them though

that's so weird then

yeah

well

jeez

so weird

whatever

anyway, let all this go

zero paranoia

yeah

yeah.

bagnalla is funny

its just weird... lol oh well

oh shit, time to go, electro

i need to get dressed

peace ❤ onto lighter and brighter things

Narcissa 01-Oct-18 07:42 PM

❤

yay!

oh wow umm.. I was thinking late december but maybe its expensive then

what if you came the day before it comes out

yeah could be like 6th-14th or something

6th-16th?

❤ :]

nice~!

its easy

https://google.com/flights

Google Flights

Find cheap flights in seconds, explore destinations on a map, and sign up for fare alerts on Google Flights.

pdx yeah!

$264 round trip

american

1 stop LAX

i did the 1 stop LAX too

worked well

yeah

helll yeahhh drink it up, drink, drink it up,

i think that's fair

i'm unsure of my financial situation... could I pay you when you're here (edited)

$132

wait lemme see bank

oh god

I have $1500 and that doesn't include november rent.......... I need to find a way to pay for december

I will find a way

100% soylent diet starts now

gotta at least make it thru november

i haven't slept in a long time so

i'll work on the finance situation tomorrow

yeah

Narcissa 03-Oct-18 12:25 AM

day is ok!

Narcissa 03-Oct-18 12:43 PM

ahhh

im flexible on days

just st ay for like 9-15 dyas or something

lol

sure or 5th

gonna sell that site for $1100

i called mom, she will try to help, dad already said he could help

so

i should be ok for December

I think im moving out of here though

after the visit

might be done in like January or something

gonna go back to my parents place

in WI temporarily

then they'll sell the house

and we'll find some place to move

so yeah

lots going on

yeah

well if you hold onto your place I could visit there next time. it's honestly nicer than my current place imo except that I have a whole lot of cool stuff in walking distance. food stuff (edited)

cool. I love your place

all these plans are secret btw

my moving shit

im gonna not be very open about this stuff while it all happens

and wherever I end up will remain very secret

yes

like

I've learned a lot

in the last few years

there needs to be very tight security regarding real life shit

information

yes

i had a nightmare about it

someone who knew me from the internet

was like

on the street I walk down sometimes

and took a photo

a giant 360 degree photo

all directions

was posted

you could look around

and determine exact location

then more people were there

a group of people

who I didnt really know

and I was furious at the person who posted the image

and I knew the time was up

and I had to gtfo

so I was like

trying to move out or something really fast and it was a nightmare

and like

bad actors closing in

FEAR

gripping

yeah

yeah.

if my living situation ends up good again (like my own little place) then you could come again but I think after december it would be easier for me to go there

yknow if things keep feeling good

between us

me too. I think they will, I think december will be really great

✨

yes! so funn yay I'm glad we get to share the smash ultimate release together

that's cool

hah w/e

well, I still feel a ways off but

if I stick to it

it will come together more

~

Narcissa 03-Oct-18 03:38 PM

awesome

wow thats sick

dw ill get you half at some point I PROMISE

k

Narcissa 03-Oct-18 03:47 PM

not only was the bacon really tasty, the steak was TRASCENDANT

❤

and you bought le petit ecolier (i cannot spell)

you're awesome

and you made pizza!

Narcissa 04-Oct-18 04:08 AM

alright. fuck it then

Narcissa 07-Oct-18 12:12 AM

f

i might move soon idk

was planning on GTFO cause you wanted to bail

so why wait

i dunno tho

its up in the air

i have no clue

i dunno

i need to figure out my living situation

ok. i don't know whats gonna happen so

hard to plan around

ill find out more later

lol

yeah, i wanted to...

i'm not taking this 'hardcore seriously' or what not. if you wanna come over and cuddle that would be fun. I know I'm gonna destroy you in smash ultimate and you're gonna feel bad about your skill or w/e

well

it's like

uncertain

you know?

life is uncertain

what issues

yeah

welll

i thought

it started

actually

because

yo utalked to your friend

and her life sounded nice, the normie life

so it put this into question

what?

you said she sounded happy

??

you are pulled in all directions by the wind of life

breakups can be traumatic. I would know

it's all in flux but

i enjoyed spending time with you

and i thought you up here was more good times

i know things were not perfect

but you're not to blame

iut's just the dynamic that happened

and

i can chill on it

but

you are not THE WORLD TO ME

you are part of the world

there's a lot of random stuff i'm into and some stuff we don't share

so its like

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

see, framing the narrative also frames

how close we are to eachother

lol

welcome to memespace

hmm

yeah

well its like

oh gosh

'corralling you into my world'

or you coming here

or you forcing your way in

or you knocking politely on the door

lol

or my INFECTIOUS ENERGY

making you HAVE to come back

50 50!!

the perfect settling in

what is fair?

lol

emo cutie

yeah

a true dark soul

haha ❤

❤ yay

=]

Narcissa 07-Oct-18 02:40 PM

:3

amen

Narcissa 09-Oct-18 12:36 PM

He is the darkness

He is dangerous

Potential for danger

Within him

There is potential for hell

It was productive for the world because I healed him a little

I speak truths to him though

It's not money

It's healing

God's work

Yeah

Well if he comes back I won't let him on voice again he's kinda savage

But text was good

And bans if he is rowdy

I'm feeling my way

I gave him dopamine

And now

His bad behavior will not be rewarded

He had a lot of energy in him, bad energy

From absorbing

If he is calmed it goes a long way

I don't think he knows what he believes

Good

He said he wanted to let the trannies die

That he would get on that bus

If it were available to him

He said that for real

Real bad energy

I need to speak to the devil and not allow hell to rain down upon this realm

I know that he is not generate

I know that

I am though

Fine as long as the devil calms down

And hellfire doesn't rain down

I will purify the trolls! God's work

Idk

Speaking words

Is powerful

Creating words

Saying them

Dampening

I will feel my way

Now cmere and snuggle with me

That's on them it's not who I am

I wanna hold you

Then they fester elsewhere, no healing?

They get radicalized

Hmmmmmm

Yeah

They could just regroup elsewhere

And be horribly vile

Well this is a war

For the future

Tactics!

The people who need my attention most make themselves known

❤

activated

?

this is the war for the future. TACTICS!!

hm

i'm not

i'm generative

it was out in the darkness, at outpost 1

i don't want escalation

i dunno, i want dampening, like a lessened tension between people maybe

i dunno

i hate the way you frame this, that he won

like I didnt do anything at all

like i was nothing

dude cmon

i did not miss anything

I did not miss anything

Narcissa 09-Oct-18 01:38 PM

you don't see enough light

you see the darkness too much

❤

I know

Narcissa 09-Oct-18 02:41 PM

let out your feelings

Narcissa 09-Oct-18 05:38 PM

go by how you feel

but it feels relaxed

Narcissa 10-Oct-18 12:25 AM

eat then call?

k

Narcissa 11-Oct-18 12:44 AM

f

Started a call.

Narcissa 11-Oct-18 01:08 AM

I'm charging my phone

wish I had had it charged

earlier

would be nice to talk again

❤

Narcissa 21-Oct-18 08:37 AM

;;

Narcissa 21-Oct-18 08:48 AM

come back!!

come back

message me

i wanna talk to you on voice again

i feel so sad

Narcissa 21-Oct-18 09:13 AM

Narcissa 30-Oct-18 07:04 PM

i sent a msg

lol

Narcissa 07-Nov-18 01:03 AM

beep boop

Narcissa 07-Nov-18 07:15 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgyeKyNw0pY

Dystifyzer

Lifelight (Main Theme - English Vocals) - Super Smash Bros. Ultima...

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFwObPlg7Y1rEVVEntbJ2k5dRtY6VixGh https://www.smashbros.com/ Watch the 24/7 Ninte...

Narcissa 15-Dec-18 10:10 PM

hi

thanks :] me too

hmm if you link a match I could critique it

or maybe like highlight one next time you play

one where you feel overwhelmed by the opponent

i could give tips

yeah trying to be an "entertainer" is w/e oh wow I didn't know

take care to grow them well

i have no experience there

i used some psilocybin today

it was fun

way way way different

yes, fickle

!

do you wanna.. on the phone?

or.. you could come over? :]

i've been a sinner

i'm sorry

i have been too abrasive in the past

i understand

i'm probably moving in.. a few months, before march

but i'm free in january or late december, after christmas...

i feel closer to you than her but she's just really cute and soft and comfy ... but i think i'm emotionally closer to you? but it'd be nice to cuddle with her again... but there are no real plans for anything i might be.

sorry if that comparison between you and whispie is weird

I like you

:]

I really like your place lol. I'd come visit again someday maybe

yes... I would be I think, it would be harder. dammit

I miss that

now all I cuddle is my pillow

ah wow. well my life is kinda up in the air right now... lease ends end of feb. so it's hard to figure everything out... I mean tentatively..... I'm moving back home w/ parents yea (don't tell anyone, it's a secret, not out of shame but out of security)...

duplex sounds comfy though

yeah

if travel wasn't such a vast gap

that would be really nice

i'm gonna watch death note

and pass out

good night

Narcissa 15-Dec-18 11:15 PM

it's really good so far, I'm on ep 15:] (edited)

Narcissa 22-Dec-18 08:20 PM

no

you should join. also I blocked him a long time ago

lol

Narcissa 22-Dec-18 10:47 PM

;;

Narcissa 22-Feb-19 06:13 PM

f

ok

moving, selling stuff, its hectic af

i need like 5 days

gotta run but ill intermittently be on phone

Narcissa 22-Feb-19 07:48 PM

Narcissa 22-Feb-19 08:06 PM

if i could teleport our skin would have kissed many more times

Narcissa 22-Feb-19 08:36 PM

i guess i was never able to have the relationship i really wanted. everyone else was comforting but unsure of long term potential. i thought you might have some long term potential but I definitely fucked up when you said you wanted to cancel and I said ok fuck it then. tht was way dismissive and i handled it wrong. i actually was looking forward to you coming over again, for longer, but idk then some drama happened and idk you ended up banned or gone or like hurt and a lot has been a blur since then

i did say hurtful thing s and i regret that

i feel like i've been passing some echo of my pain onto others for awhile

pain regarding adrian and other things

just kinda echoing through the the relationships ive had with other people in the last couple years

like passing my pain on

selfishly

the morning I had to leave for the airport I didnt wanna stop holding you, it felt really good

aw. yeah, i'm kinda out of reach now. everything is changing

no other plans

i dunno. do what you feel

i appreciate you didnt share the exe. i want it to be secret and private

Narcissa 22-Feb-19 09:09 PM

are all of your accts banned from my discord still

damn

why dont they let you unban phones

so dumb

yeah

im gonna still be on discord mostly

so message me whenever

yeah . the texture of the ice sucks but will make it all look beautiful in time

i love the skybox

oh yeah the ice physics

actually fun fact, the ice physics and the air physics are the same

regarding how much control you have over movement

yeah

also its like

so awesome that blender is free, godot is free

and

its super ez

for someone to just like

send over a level

or modify a level

or write code

so collab is possible

ive had some help with some stuff

blender is pretty fun. wait you made something good didnt you

you made

yourself kinda

i think it looked good from waht I recall

the levels can be simple blocky wahtever (like how I have it now) or really complex intricate things

could be anything

im not even sure what the game is yet (edited)

but ill slowly discover that

im not even thinking about money

i just wanna make something beautiful

yeah i mean the urge comes and goes but this time i'm actually in there

i wanted to do 3d as well

and the skybox btw isnt even a box

its actually a sphere of points

then it calcs where to draw each sprite

using camera + the sphere of points

and the stars are randomly generated

right now but I might make it always the same if the levels always gonan be the same

i have a lot of plans

yeah

https://media.readthedocs.org/pdf/godot/3.0/godot.pdf slowly going thru this

familiarizing myself

export blender -> obj

put it in the godot project folder

now I can drop it into my game

generate a collision mesh

and walk around on it

change materials, add shaders

get the geometry vertices and modify them

do anything

its powerful, not that hard to use, and it also isn't a slave to capitalism, so they dont own the pipeline or royalties or w/e

its also super lightweight

small file size

opens really fast

exporting games takes no time

its great

and it paired with blender (another amazing free tool) is super powerful

im glad nice software exists

i meeeeean the main devs or w/e just use patreon to keep developing it

so

not really heheh

well

its a passion project

yeah

definitely

yeah that blows. i'm sorry

im worried about being doxxed but thats about it.

i'll try to move again

after

near them or something

i need like

a year or more

ill just keep my head down and work on this game

it's kinda nice

2020s gonna be a good decade!

lets get there

hang in there buddy

Narcissa 23-Feb-19 03:17 PM

i got the lines working better, still not done though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BySECsuYLk8&feature=youtu.be

Yak

narci's game, windows build 2019-02-23, now with outlines

smooth on windows 7, runs at 60 fps (1280x720) but fraps kills that to 30. spent the second half of the video looking at outline glitches at high angles.

ahh I wasn't satisfied. nah that vid is half fps

its gonna be 60

but I want the lines to not flicker so much

still working on it

almost at a solution

i need to move all the vertices

yeah its ugly

im gonna add like

grass, generated, like the stars

but

im a bit worried about performance

i wanna make sure it runs really well

i was thinking

random points in space

then it draws

a piece of grass as a 2d pixel art

in that position

random points on the floor* rather

could even have like

several sizes

so it would grow as it gets closer

wellll

regarding performance

i have 600 stars

but if I make it 60k

it chugs really bad

but I'm using something called draw()

for the stars

idk if its very optimal

for the grass I think I can actually

as the level starts

calc grass positions

then pass that into a shader

then the shader does the drawing or w/e??

idk if that would use the GPU

and then not be laggy as fuck

hopefully

yeah for sure

something is crappy about the stars imo kinda cause 60k is lag hell

but maybe that makes sense?

idk

well if there are thousands of pieces of grass

yeah culling right

dont load shit that isnt relevant

yeah

can do that stuff

well its actually not drawing the stars that are out of the viewport

but I guess

it still needs to calculate

if every star is in the viewport?

so idk how to optimize that

        for i in range(0, field.size()):
            var world_point = camera.global_transform.origin + field[i]["position"]
            var pos = camera.unproject_position(world_point)
            pos[0] = round(pos[0])
            pos[1] = round(pos[1])
            if pos.x >= -2 and pos.x < max_x + 2 and pos.y >= -2 and pos.y < max_y + 2 and camera.is_position_behind(world_point):
                #if field[i]["position"].y < 0: #require this to block horizon
                draw_texture (textures[field[i]["size"]], pos, field[i]["color"])

see it goes over EVERY STAR

all 60k

does calculations

then checks if its in range to draw

theres prob a better way somehow idk

idk I gotta worry about moving stuff this blows. I have too much furniture

its alright

yeah damn

thats rough

love that car

you plan on going?

I had so much crap in my apt I didnt want

threw a lot away

live light

but also

I need a fuckin PC

you know

sigh

and a bed ofc

idk I wanna get situated in maybe a year or two

somewhere

yeah

i thought this was gonna be my nice place

same though

i dont know what i am

itll come to you probably

naturally just youll find it

what you want

lol streaming. feels nice to not be streaming. but , can be fun. idk

feel it out

maybe if i streamed on an alt where nobody knew who I was

then itd be fun

but

whatever

lol

ahh, best at what though

you know i wont drop smash, ill get back in there

and mario maker 2

might be fun

but i might stream those

later

summertime (edited)

oh nooo

you had such a nice setup

im sorry

lol

yeah im on the floor right now

1 monitor

yeah

well Im trying to sell this table

idk

yea no luck

you know

i could leave some stuff

the apt could just sell it for me

lol

i dont want my furniture

ill miss my bed though

wow this queen bed

sad

yeah

i dont wanna worry about selling stuff I just wanna lay in bed

Narcissa 23-Feb-19 04:00 PM

i could get rid of the mattress for a fee

wonder if I can selll it

Narcissa 24-Feb-19 03:35 AM

that's really good. I don't know any German. your singing is good

I'm so so. I might get a gun

protection yeah

why do you say that?

I wish you would

I don't mind killing someone if I'm saving my life

=(

I hate this

I'm scared of the internet

I need to be protected

I want to live somewhere safer

How do you get citizenship

It seems so hard to go anywhere

And I don't feel safe

It only takes 1 person

I'm scared

I guess if I used one and didn't have license that might be bad

I'm trying to lay low but the internet won't stop

no

Doxxed kinda. It's all happening. Please don't tell anyone about this conversation

Idk white pages

They literally just put addresses online

It's fucking insane

What do you mean hoping I didn't know

And why will it be okay

yeah that sucks so bad

I'm a target and it only takes one. The level of risk is too high. I need protection

I'm not walking around

I'm a shut in

I wouldn't go

No

But I need to keep moving until I'm safe

I don't want to go outside

Maybe

My life is not over I just need to be safe

I won't be safe

No I'm in a high risk situation that may go on and on

I need to be 2 steps ahead

Otherwise it's over for me

This world can barely support a person like me

I need to be safe

I see your point but. I also need defense from intruders

I need to sleep maybe mace is good

I need sleep

I have a lot to do tomorrow

Narcissa 25-Feb-19 07:37 AM

Flying out today. In a couple hours I'll never see this place again

Kind of, I'm just so exhausted

productive is good. I'm gonna try to sneak in 1 more hr of sleep

I'm laying down in the closet right now

It's not as cold in here

yeah

Narcissa 26-Feb-19 03:58 PM

At 2020

Narcissa 26-Feb-19 11:15 PM

I have moved

also grass has been generated

its just little dots

Narcissa 27-Feb-19 07:41 PM

lol good luck.

I have my switch but most of my stuff is still being shipped

i could send you an update. it's nothing special really

Narcissa 27-Feb-19 07:53 PM

Attachment: windows.zip (11.73 MB)

1

well this is all I have so far, idk what I wanna do with it really

i could actually make blades of grass instead of the dots

not 2d but 3d

i dunno

Narcissa 27-Feb-19 08:07 PM

that's a good goal

i guess i'm less online now

still online but more limited

yeah

truth be told i'm a little lost doing this game

not sure what I want out of it

I spent so many months making Dan F. 2 for MegaZeux

lol

its a huge game

i was in middle school I think

https://vault.digitalmzx.net/show.php?id=647

This game is an awe-inspiring display of extensive work on a massive scale we see so seldom in Megazeux currently, but is so poorly executed that a 3 board demo of a hammer engine would glow in comparison. This game is branded as an adventure game in the first board... Yes, I would have liked that, but this component (which lasted about 10 boards anyway) included such things as the need to backtrack through a maze... not once, not twice, but SIX times, such things as going back to the bottom floor after every single step forward in the process of getting to the top floor, such things as nonsense reasoning for any given thing to happen, such things as--- you get the idea. Anyway, after traversing this ghastly and seemingly endless series of adventure game no-nos, you get to the woods... where the game makes the comically common mistake of changing genre's entirely, but I was hopeful now that perhaps something good could come out of this. It didn't. In fact, it kept some gems from the previous genre such as baktracking and retracking the same board.... THREE TIMES. Maybe if the enemies weren't tedious and noisy, the scenery wasn't garish, and the gameplay weren't tired and petrifyingly boring, I could forgive this too. But I can't. Did I mention that later in the game, you have to do it all again? TWICE more? Ugh... then you get to a tower... I almost just don't want to talk about the tower. If there were any fun to be had from this game to begin with, it flatlined at the tower. The boards consist of two pretty piss poor chars and 2 colors that are, above all else, grey. The enemies... Are the same as the forest, but now they have more health and make more noise. More fun right?

Then there's a boss (what is essentially the same boss that shows of several times throughout the game, except with more health.) There is no real strategy to this boss unless you count the ol' knowing-this-game-is-terrible-and-f11-cheating-to-even-bear-it as a strategy. Echh.... it goes on like this.... Along with the worst platformer engine ever (probably ripped from Alien Wars), a sountrack that we are ALL utterly sick of, sounds that play about 30 times whenever they're triggered, a complete lack of entertainment value, and contextual story issues that force one to just give up caring at all what happens to the player, this game gets one star. I'd sooner light my teeth on fire with gasoline than play it again. This game is as fulfilling to complete as starring at a beige wall for four hours. Even my brother felt bad about not being able to stop me from playing it.

lmao

that was the only review

I was proud of some stuff in that game

fire temple and the ice cave are both really cool

or ice palace or w/e it is

https://vault.digitalmzx.net/download.php?rid=647&f=0035f53dc9ee9632670182736c53c00655ace4ecf0d2360ee92ad1784e201736 https://vault.digitalmzx.net/download.php?rid=647&f=32bb254956dda40766cb7ca38912c7fafc3bded1a560a05b521f1a23ef1f3271 here's the files, unzip them all into a folder called like danf2

but then you need megazeux too

https://vault.digitalmzx.net/download.php?latest=windows64

so extract that into "mzx" folder

then put the danf2 folder inside the mzx folder

lol

a pain to get it working

i stole all the music. it's a bunch of s3m and mod files

open the mzx exe

then pick the danf2 folder

then the game should appear and pick it

lo

now I wanna listen to the title theme

yeah

its pretty long

would love to see speedruns of it lmao

it would be hard too I think

hopefully no gamebreaking bugs tho

lol

playing the mzx music makes me feel more in the creative mood

lol

i have godot open and mzx just playing sound

when I was young it was so easy to like just dream up levels and make them and go with it even if it kinda sucked or didnt make sense, or wasn't fully formulated or w/e

I just built the hell out of that game

for months

idk why I want to do it but I do

same with this thing

although I stagnated a little I'm working on it now

lol

so much I forgot about the gmae

yeah

pretty lame lol

or cheesy

Narcissa 27-Feb-19 09:07 PM

space + dir

adding spawn points

like spawn player in GrassyKnoll at spawn 0

lol

Narcissa 27-Feb-19 09:25 PM

oh wow networked mzx

thats cool

those angular bullets are like

hax

those werent possible to make back when I was doing this

yes

over half my life ago

mayb

i wish u could teleport

or vice versa

Narcissa 07-Mar-19 08:08 AM

updated build

Attachment: windows.zip (13.29 MB)

Narcissa 07-Mar-19 08:22 AM

it takes so long to load because .... of a hidden, very complex feature

if you run on the grass a lot, or more easily ot see, jump up and down on it a lot

the grass starts dying

you can also wall jump, i dont remember if you saw that

or if thats new

I also designed the font

yeah

motivation is low now

might get into smash or something

not really sure

whats your gsp

alright. yeah 2m is like average

and 3.6 is getting up there

try to get to 4

remember, in a single game you are making thousands of decisions via the controller... you have the power to guide these decisions

idk, kinda lonely, all i've been doing is this game for like a week

some new vid about me blew up and is getting like 80k views a day spreading some garbage across the internet and so all these randoms invaded my discord

yeah as long as they leave me alone it's fine

a drawing really?

yeah I haven't streamed in quite awhile now

i really like it altho the chin shape feels way weird

but some of the aesthetic is good

yeah

you dont know their acct?

cool

let me check

4.126 I guess

Narcissa 08-Mar-19 10:46 PM

how about tomorrow?

just message me on here

if im around i'm down to play tomorrow

Narcissa 09-Mar-19 10:19 AM

ok

Narcissa 09-Mar-19 08:27 PM

oh nice. yeah

btw just figured out some complex matrix multiplication 3d->2d projection magic all by myself ( and google )

I feel very proud

var index = 0 var normal = mdt.get_face_normal(index) var v1_i = mdt.get_face_vertex(index, 0) var v2_i = mdt.get_face_vertex(index, 1) var v3_i = mdt.get_face_vertex(index, 2) var v1 = mdt.get_vertex(v1_i) var v2 = mdt.get_vertex(v2_i) var v3 = mdt.get_vertex(v3_i) var new_v1 = Vector3(0,0,0) var new_v2 = v2 - v1 var new_v3 = v3 - v1 var new_axis_x = new_v2.normalized() var new_axis_y = new_axis_x.cross(normal).normalized() var new_axis_z = normal var rotation_matrix = Basis(new_axis_x, new_axis_y, new_axis_z) var rotated_v1 = rotation_matrix.xform_inv(new_v1) var rotated_v2 = rotation_matrix.xform_inv(new_v2) var rotated_v3 = rotation_matrix.xform_inv(new_v3) var v1_2d = Vector2(rotated_v1.x, rotated_v1.y) var v2_2d = Vector2(rotated_v2.x, rotated_v2.y) var v3_2d = Vector2(rotated_v3.x, rotated_v3.y) var scalar = 0.2 mdt.set_vertex_uv(v1_i, v1_2d * scalar) mdt.set_vertex_uv(v2_i, v2_2d * scalar) mdt.set_vertex_uv(v3_i, v3_2d * scalar)

all that to figure out how to map the texture to the triangle

lol

lol i dont know math much so when ppl on stackoverflow are posting giant formulas its like uhhhhh I dont know this notation

but I figured it out on my own

i popped off after it worked

like FUCK YES

lol

it takes points in 3d space

a triangle in 3d

then perfectly places the triangle on a 2d texture

so its 3d->2d

it has to rotate the triangle to place it

which uses matrix math

its doing 3d rotation

to make the z axis = 0 for all 3 points

so it can be removed

what's cool about this is

its leading towards fully generated worlds

where I can create like

"ice surface"

and it will texture it for me

and it could algorithmically create the mesh

idk its going places

working every day on this

but lets play some smash

MMG79

1470

arena is up

genesis 6 stages

ill record too, maybe upload

just game feed

i dont mind

glhf

kinda lag

i havent tried playing online since i moved

i hope its not ass

yerah seems pretty shit

dammit

damn

ok ill end arena

you fix controls

ill play elite smash

and see if it lags

prob just didnt set controls in the battle arena

just had a shit connection

god damn

i dont wanna play palu in this condition

hold on

let me try again

is there a way to check if switch connection isnt shit

just had another shit connection

thats 3 in a row

lemme see speedtest

https://www.meter.net/ping-test/201909-188379-0c64.html

Ping test - 64 ms - 2019-03-10 04:52

Check out my internet ping test result! How fast is your connection? My ping: 64 ms.

i think it sucks

holy shit my internet is horrible

no more smash for narcissa

dude

this sucks

cant even bop ppl

ugg that actually really sucks

lol. maybe

ill see what I can do but im not very hopeful

yeah

yeah its not the switch's fault

Narcissa 10-Mar-19 09:20 AM

i think my ping is better today

lol

seems like it was temporary

maybe casue horrible weather

:]

Narcissa 16-Mar-19 12:32 PM

Narcissa 18-Mar-19 12:05 PM

no sadly

yeah.. not much food around either

used to walk to a dozen different places

yeah it's my bad

it's nice to do that sometimes

check out

the BIG FALL

Attachment: windows.zip (19 MB)

also there's pagedown / pageup for console

F11 for fullscreen

yeah

you can pluck the flowers too

they heal you

haha

:]

probably a million more things todo

not even sure what is next

but ill do more today (edited)

and every day

thanks

i hope to keep it up

yeah

right now when you 'highlight them' they spin

which is bad i want them to highlight

and then

when you pluck them they just disappear

but they shouldnt

they should like

idk exactly what but

lots to do

yeah i was not sure how the inventory system should work

my favorite inventory of all time is probably OoT's

something I didnt like in BotW was that you could hold 600 birds legs and 400 apples while walking around

so

im not sure

gotta think hard

about structure

i've been almost meditating on it every day but

it's not taking form yet

so I just fix it up

add little bits

and someday it will become... something

yeah good point

and

whatever the structure may be ... i don't wanna just.. copy some formula

so maybe this is the best way

just add bits

ah I see

hmm

that's fun

did you get them yet

cool. hope they fit!

Narcissa 18-Mar-19 01:03 PM

i will

Narcissa 19-Mar-19 08:16 PM

Narcissa 20-Mar-19 10:24 PM

what do you mean

why do you feel that way

going where

i think you're depressed

since when

what does 'bad' feel like

what do you think is wrong with you. do you think anything is wrong with you

do you mean your parents

why do you hate your parents

what reasons

turn your feelings into words

do you hate random people that you don't know

or just your parents

i let go of all my old friends

i don't hate them, mostly

but

it's all in the past now

you once told me about a dream you had where you felt a pure love

let go

talent is built

really

you'd probably have to like whatever it is though

to build it

in a way doesn't that mean you're neutral to everything

if you dislike everything

what is causing you these feelings, emptiness

lack of direction or growth

the point of life

how did they react

why does it bother you so much, to talk to them

do you feel some kind of expectation

you're talking to me, if only to say goodbye...

then is it a cycle, some feeling that keeps returning and subsiding

and it's bad lately

like the unibomber

i don't know

is that like the buddhist way of looking at life

life is suffering

when are you most comfortable

that's good

what about spending more time daydreaming

what horrible scenarios

do you think your mind is ruled by fear

I haven't gone outside in close to a month

i don't want anybody to recognize me. i don't wanna deal with random people.

i'm fine with being inside

if nobody knew who I was I would feel more at ease. if I wasn't visibly trans / nonpassing or w/e it would be also easier. I went outside when I was in Portland. it was okay. I like to be inside though, yeah

i guess you already know my idea on

transcending this existence

become digital being

everything is in motion

well, this gets into stuff about what is consciousness and

what is the self

i can easily see like

leaving behind the "dna" of your soul

in the womb of cyberspace

you can change though

i think so

your pain is somehow deep rooted, and it seems to have to do with fear, and perspective

it would probably open up entire worlds if you didn't feel useless

creative stuff?

that's mostly what i'm doing, it goes so far... I can see a hundred things I need to do

to feel useful...

what if you came over, then you could have me for a few weeks

i think if we don't use weed we wouldn't hurt

ok... maybe another time then. if you're ever up to making it out here

humans are socially needy though... we need each other

otherwise the pain of being alone becomes very much

do you hate me

self fulfilling prophecy ?

you'd be welcome to stay here for awhile

you don't have to punish yourself

being here might offer new perspective

and sleeping with me every night might help make you feel better :]

i wish teleporting existed...

those hurt but they work way better than shaving

but dont use on armpits or facial hair

or genitalia probably

yeah

i like your body either way I think

yeah those are bad

np

give it time

so it's specifically talking to them

that makes you feel bad

would be good if you could kinda pinpoint what makes you feel awful when you talk to them

it does sound like your upbringing and your relationship with your parents has been rocky and uncomfortable throughout your life

:[

it sounds like they don't listen to you

they just don't share the feeling I guess

unrelatable

i don't know.

how much smash have you played lately

streaming is useless, has nothign to do with smash though

of course you can

whats your gsp at now

hey those numbers are pretty dece

not elite yet right

you should get elite

relax, give it time, and enjoy each non-laggy match

(and forget about the laggy ones)

if you gave me a vid

i could critique too

doesnt matter

can always hit record on obs

smash teaches patience , discipline , understanding , willpower

no, it won't

you mean, you need to give money to the people who own the building you live in

lol

if your parents offer, take their money. do not feel bad. enjoy your life, better yourself

your parents were born in a generation where it was easier to pay for things

i dont look at it like that

idk why you care about 'burdening them'. just take it and survive. that's why they're giving it to you

so you don't have to disappear

your mind is trapped in this sinkhole

well, I said it was okay if you wanted to come over here and spend a few weeks, we'd sleep in the same bed of course

i think it'd cheer you up and i think it'd be nice to have you here

well if you can manage to make it.... there's a couple more complications, nearest airport is 2hrs away by car

and i dont drive

definitely not an uber kind of trip

maybe my dad could rent a car again -_-

lol

have a good rest

✨

Narcissa 21-Mar-19 05:57 PM

thanks I know I guess I just meant outsider perspective tends to be cruel

Narcissa 21-Mar-19 06:08 PM

day is alright. i got saving / loading working last night and I still have a bunchhh of improvements to make

oh nice

yeah

server

but not anytime soon

Attachment: windows.zip (17.73 MB)

flowers are preset amount

escape + escape will save

entering a new area will also save

New Game will delete your data

flowers don't save yet

if you die the grass becomes bloody

lol

also page up / down is console still

and F11 is fullscreen toggle

much to do , feeling a little lazy though

oh the green base.. that was custom made for the big fall level

it's a look I kinda want when I end up generating levels

hmm?

blue and red thing

oh the poster

just a decoration when I was experimenting with how godot handles surfaces and uv seams

godot is pretty easy to use , im pretty happy about it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JH8xwNOQ0TM

Thoughtquake

Why I chose Godot over Unity, Unreal, and Gamemaker Studio (Game D...

It's hard to find a good comparison of game engines, so I wanted so share some of my own experiences and why I ended up choosing Godot. Hopefully this saves ...

Narcissa 21-Mar-19 06:34 PM

mmm i dont think so

biology has its limits, gotta become digital imo

x

x on gamecube controller

you use gcn or joycons?/

ah

yeah y is fine

personal preference

Lol

if I could

PEWWWWWWWW beam of light

btw i mentioned you might wanna come and my dad was like oh we could rent a car!

lol

he's pretty awesome

flights are really easy altho you'd need a connecting one I think

cause its like

ABQ -> somewhere -> Madison, WI

idk its easy its like this

google flights -> book flight then uber to airport and have the boarding pass on your phone (or print it at a console there for free) and then go thru security and go to the gate (big signs telling you where to go), there's prob food there too and you can chill and know that once you're past security you're in a really safe place. then you get on flight when it boards, wait a couple hrs, get off, and you're still in the secure zone. then walk to next gate. wait there, get on flight, then you get off, leave secure area and we pick you up

done

my room is a comfort area

could pack light, just bring like a backpack full of clothes

what would you bring

ah do you have anything to bring all that sutff

yeah I think that would all fit in a backpack

ah that works

hmm

there's a bus that gets here from both chicago or madison

but the madison bus isnt going to the airport it goes like to a university area

and the chicago bus I think goes from... downtown??

it adds complications

but we could rent the car

ithink if we rented the car it'd be easiest as we could just get you from the airport

yea i'd prefer not super soon as well, would be nice to have mushrooms here if you come

my experiences are good I think but aftereffect is headache

we dont have to do them

i like good crys

first times can be magical

my first weed experience was magical

cool

that's great

Narcissa 21-Mar-19 07:39 PM

:p

Narcissa 22-Mar-19 03:25 PM

Cute!

i really like the pic on the right

got shadows working for my items

pic on right -> add some more blue to the image -> save as profile pic imo hahah

shadow is actually really cool its

two spotlights

narrow, above the object

same energy and position and angle and attenuation

so they are 2 identical lights

except one is casting "negative light"

and the other positive

they both perfectly cancel each other out, but the positive one ALSO casts a shadow

so the shadow is really the "negative light" poking thru

actually this is pretty funny, no tutorial but I was talking about the problem w/ my dad and I told him about negative lights and he kinda had an inkling about setting up two identical ones.... so he's the genius actually

i showed him this negative spotlight:

and he came up with it kinda

yeah

stroke of brilliance on his part lol

he's also like turning 70 next year its craazy

Narcissa 22-Mar-19 04:24 PM

yeah

and it lasts like a week

yea

but then you age and die anyway so gotta become anime before its too late

:3

Narcissa 22-Mar-19 05:32 PM

duno

Narcissa 23-Mar-19 05:28 PM

we have like 50 years to manage it

maybe more

idk I expect a lot of progress in the 2020s

go really really slow on the legs

and do another pass, could work out

as long as your'e not bleeding its ok

lol

Narcissa 24-Mar-19 12:33 AM

sigh idk

Narcissa 24-Mar-19 12:56 AM

Narcissa 24-Mar-19 01:08 AM

Narcissa 24-Mar-19 03:17 AM

hell yes

Narcissa 24-Mar-19 06:10 AM

yeah

very pleased

im making vents now

like vents on a wall

its gonna let out soothing noise

if you're nearby

Narcissa 24-Mar-19 06:23 AM

will do

Narcissa 24-Mar-19 06:35 AM

i preferred it (wishfully) but I thought it was unreasonable for a long time, then i met some ppl online who did it and they were beautiful and i had also had an epiphany the year before about how blurred everything in life is. and factoring in some of my past made me feel more at ease. so i got on estrogen and never looked back really lol

Narcissa 24-Mar-19 06:46 AM

i dunno. it sounds like the medical problem is bad and yeah endless facial hair is awful because then it can feel like an uncomfortable clashing or invalidation or something................... which .................. this is a deep topic so i don't really wanna get into it so much .. it's crazy the amount of money I spent trying to remove just my facial hair and i still need to shave every day or else I don't like it..... the hormones are pretty great for me imo, not much effort and not very expensive , health insurance hassle is annoying, idk. i have some complaints about my own facial structure (it's not so bad but it's also sometimes bad) lol. and there's waves of emotion where it's like "ugh this is a bad day for self image" or "wow im beautiful", eventually I got used to that so I know that when I don't look good or am not feeling good about my image or w/e it's a temporary thing, a situational thing. and I kinda believe in a self curation being empowerment, so ... if that's the case then I can look past the bad. doesn't help though when other people cannot look past the bad and would rather focus on it

i dunno

Narcissa 24-Mar-19 06:57 AM

planned parenthood will give it to you if you are ok in the blood test I think

no need for like whatever gatekeeping

you can be a cute voidfriend even without hrt though

Narcissa 24-Mar-19 07:14 AM

idk I've been shaving like every day since teenage years

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:46 AM

ponf

OwO

narci im 4.38m gsp

i did it for you

lol narciiiiii

All the way over there,

Can you hear me?

Do you feel me?

Is anyone out there, or am I shouting into the void?

Stare back at me, mighty void.

I want you to destroy me.

I'm a NEET too.

I'm a gamer too!

I like Narcissa for who she is.

I will never stop coming back... just like that dream I once had with that monster that kept chasing after me.

I'm addicted to the digital dreamer.

I need you.

I want your mind and body. I want to fuse.

That's the real world.

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:26 AM

except my hair is longer now

and i'm a little less hairy

I could also really use a friend rn because I feel very confused.

And lonely...

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 03:08 AM

And I want to cuddle and hug you.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 09:24 AM

hi

it scared me when you ran back to kiwifarms

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:19 PM

Yeah I'm pretty stupid.

I'll never go there again.

Also hi

I really am sorry for doing that. It was really bad of me, and I'm not worthy. But I don't care if you reject me, I just want you to know I like you.

I'm sure you've been busy on the game. You're always working.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:26 PM

yeah. i'm working on character modeling now

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:26 PM

omg that's adorable

I love her!

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:26 PM

:]

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:27 PM

You're always blowing my mind with what you're doing. I need to be more productive.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:27 PM

much to work on

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:28 PM

I like the eyes a lot.

I like it all a lot, really.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:28 PM

goal is a full character, full body with clothing and animations, movement, imported to game engine

i wanna make her hair a little bouncey

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:29 PM

You're truly amazing lol...

Yes bouncy hair for sure

Is she Narcissa or is she someone else?

I feel like it's you.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:32 PM

it might be me, will take time though

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:34 PM

oh yeah, these are big projects you're giving yourself, but you've already done so much

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:34 PM

gotta live

while im alive

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:34 PM

lol the optimism

i feel like i'm failing the living

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:35 PM

there's much time to live

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:35 PM

Keep working on your passions, girl! This is quality stuff.

Yeah, I just don't know what I want to do, but I'll figure it out maybe

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:43 PM

Have you done work on the game? Also, if I could be of any use to you, let me know.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:44 PM

umm

idk what you last saw

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:44 PM

I think the most recent thing was the strafe helmet (edited)

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:45 PM

oh that was ages ago

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:45 PM

yeah i've been away for a while

i've missed my lady

You were working on a vent the last time we spoke.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:46 PM

i generated trees from code

new trees every time

random

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:47 PM

omg

that's freaking amazing

aghh

You're the superior human.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:48 PM

flame

it kills you if you get too close

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:49 PM

also i dont think the stars were moving last time i saw them

i'm super into the randomly generated trees; that's too cool

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:50 PM

stars move there's a full day night cycle

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:50 PM

wow...

You're really doing it. This is already way cooler than I'd originally thought it'd be. I really like your development process too.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:53 PM

here's a gif of the day night system

the key item

light on the wall

texture

clock

etc

100x speed

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:56 PM

omg it even has a sunset effect

I like the light too.

good gif

oh and the item slot

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:56 PM

the frame of the light is the wrong color but w/e

yeah the key works too

there's doors

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:57 PM

im overwhelmed

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:58 PM

skeleton key can open any door

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:58 PM

amazing!

and cute

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:58 PM

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:58 PM

goddamn you're inspirational... make me actually want to do something in life now

oooh

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:59 PM

anyway that's what you missed

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 01:59 PM

How did you do all of this... I feel like I've been gone a year now

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 01:59 PM

i just work on it every day

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:00 PM

Well, great work Narcissa. You're doing superbly. Makes me want to do something for sure.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:00 PM

i think i wanna make it third person and use a controller

and have a character

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:01 PM

Yes, I like the sound of that.

It's going to be so unique with how you're designing it. This'll be a real gem.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:03 PM

i like gems

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:03 PM

Well you're a gem!

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:03 PM

lol

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:04 PM

You make me feel like I can do anything. But, then I try it and fail.

lol

This is really great though. I'm so glad you're continuing it at such a pace.

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:05 PM

you got elite smash right

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:05 PM

yup yup

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:05 PM

i lost elite smash with corrin today

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:05 PM

i sometimes lose it though

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:05 PM

and jigglypuff

i can get it back though

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:05 PM

yeah it seems like everyone has their character now it's so hard to get up there unless you're specialized

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:06 PM

yeah im surprised at the strength of the player base, it's good

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:06 PM

It's scary OwO

Every now and then I have a pretty good game, but people 4.4m+ eat me up

Your movement in smash is amazing

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:07 PM

my palu is above 4.5 today

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:07 PM

wow

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:07 PM

ganondorf is at like 4.470 or something

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:08 PM

i've yet to get anyone else up there at all

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:08 PM

i like dashing away and then doing "rar" forward air

with palutena

like dash, turnaround shorthop

forward air the direction I came from

also you can do dash and then flick the stick the other way, release and neutral B

to autoreticle backwards out of a dash

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:09 PM

yeah i've seen you do that a lot in the pre-game room

you have a neat lil dance (edited)

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:10 PM

also just fullhop and landing with fair

is good

sometimes

especially when cornered

also getting the fair hitbox out as late as possible

so its barely out then you land

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:10 PM

yeah i've been doing a few good fairs

but the rar sounds technical

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:10 PM

try it, its not bad

whats hard is

downthrow to back air

KO ssometimes at like 95%

at the edge

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:11 PM

oh!

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:11 PM

sometimes you have to dash and rar

with a full hop

but you cannot turn around during like frames..... what is it.... 5 to 12 or something?

idk what the frame data is

but that range you cannot turnaround

so i'd do a REALLY fast rar

then jump and drift towards them

if the DI away

if they dont DI away you can just turnaround in place then fullhop bair

and its easier to hit

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:12 PM

aw jeez lol

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:12 PM

but I have trouble reacting to their DI

so sometimes I guess

her dash attack is so good

i use it tons

sometimes I dont dash enough before using it

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:12 PM

yeah i noticed that and stole it from you, and it improved my gameplay

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:12 PM

I use instant dash attack a lot

which is dash then forward on c stick

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:13 PM

yeah i do instant dash a lot

sometimes two

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:13 PM

if you knock people up with one dash attack

they might try to land on you with an attack so you can throw out another one

and catch their landing

and the shield has the blocking hitbox

with invulnerability

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:13 PM

yeah it is pretty great, saved me many times im sure

i like doing a holding-ledge-jumpy-to-fair thingy (idk what it is called) and then an immediate dash attack too

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:14 PM

ledgehop fair

yeah

if you mean not "ledge jumping" but letting go and double jumping

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:15 PM

yeah

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:15 PM

yeah is pretty useful

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:16 PM

pichu fights scare me though because im not great at those real low fairs yet

i'm alright

tiny peeps are tough

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:17 PM

i like when pichu tries to thunderjolt me and then I reflect it and punish

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:17 PM

hah yeah i love that too

although they're pretty good at it in the higher ups

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:17 PM

you know version 3.0 is coming out today and a balance patch is... not unlikely

so that's big

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:17 PM

oh noo

change scary

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:17 PM

lol

im excited but I hope palutena remains a goddess

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:18 PM

definitely same

do you have any special controls?

settings i mean

i heard hwan talking about using two jumps to force a short-hop

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:19 PM

c stick attack

is mainly it

using 2 jumps for short hop is a new feature and sounds.... quite reasonable to use

more consistent in the long run

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:20 PM

yeah

i might change mine today

or try to change to that

ty for talking to me again T~T i don't deserve it

You're the real goddess.

2

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 02:27 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9a7qvxTtis

AlizeeVEVO

Alizée - Je veux bien (Audio)

Nouvel album "5" disponible ---------------------------------------- Abonne-toi à la CHAINE OFFICIELLE VEVO de ALIZEE pour découvrir toutes ses vidéos : http...

1

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 02:31 PM

I love it.

J'adore.

Putain de crise De manque de tout Qui m'paralyse Ca je l'avoue C'est vrai que je suis indécise Mais j'ai besoin de vous...

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 07:13 PM

Looks like Lady Palu didn't get hurt too much. Maybe a tiny nerf overall, but I don't think people can perfect shield side-special anymore

not sure

Narcissa 17-Apr-19 07:14 PM

yeah we're good

Deleted User e96ca8ae 17-Apr-19 07:19 PM

you're beautiful

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:14 PM

she looks pretty good in game too

hooray

btw you might wanna stream @ 720p or up your bitrate moore

if you can spare the internet

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:19 PM

ty for the input i'll up the bitrate or figure it out... i probably forgot that i messed with the settings after I stopped streaming

also i got 2 elites now :3

and she looks sooooo cute

She is anime Narci.

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:21 PM

body coming soon I guess........ minor fixes to face / hair are needed too.

whos your 2nd elite

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:22 PM

You're so inspiring. I'm gonna need to start a project of my own. Unsure what that'll be though.

It's Zelda

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:22 PM

lol nice! howd you feel about her

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:23 PM

I only got her to elite because she can be tricky for others to deal with i think

She is pretty good

But I feel like a good player would just destroy me

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:23 PM

sometimes I find her really fun but othertimes I just dont wanna play her. I think I stopped playing her for over a month before I recently started again

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:24 PM

Side special and up special basically got me to elite, and that crazy forward air

She is pretty fun tbh

But palu is like 20 times more fun to me

i just dont wanna lost elite on her lol

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:25 PM

i might play a bit more lucina / gunner / jigglypuff but we'll see

random feelings

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:25 PM

your jiggles gives me envy

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:25 PM

I think joker is very solid

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:25 PM

i tried it, didn't work out, but i'll try again maybe another day

Joker is great

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:25 PM

kinda like smash4 sheik or something

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:26 PM

joker is amazing and pretty fun, also he is soooo cute with the glasses

But he has a hard time with zelda from what i've seen

i haven't played against a zelda tho

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:27 PM

I feel so good that the hair is mostly done

8000 triangles

50 strands

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:30 PM

was in game srry

yeah she is amazing. i truly can't wait to see what you do with her in the game

did you give her a beauty mark

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:30 PM

this took daysss

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:30 PM

or is that lighting

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:30 PM

i know it doesnt look super great but

yeah she looks different in-game

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:30 PM

lol ur crazy that looks freaking amazing

lol

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:30 PM

early ingame pic

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:31 PM

omg she looks better in-game

well

different

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:31 PM

haha yea in the blender cycles renderer there's like .....

idk different levels of darkness

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:31 PM

i like the hair color in-game more

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:31 PM

but I can get a more pure cel shading in game

oh yeah she's lit by a warm light in the game

but yeah

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:31 PM

oh i see

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:31 PM

looks good

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:32 PM

disembodied narci head, still adorbs

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:32 PM

I kinda decided

that because she looks nice

I need to make my game higher resolution

so now I wanna like rebuild all my sprites and grass and stuff

to support a higher res

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:32 PM

hmm

yeah idk, i kinda like the low res on the hair for some reason

but either way it will good great

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:33 PM

well you're looking at 720p

the 360p I had before

sort of butcher her

well 1 sec

let me show you

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:33 PM

oki doki

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:34 PM

idk

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:34 PM

the hair still looks aight, but it ruined her eyes for sure

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:34 PM

yeah..

idk

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:35 PM

there's something cozy about the simpler graphics though

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:35 PM

i mean theoretically..................... using a texture for the eye

would make it filtered (no aliasing)

and then it could look okay in low res

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:35 PM

Can you still make her look around with a texture?

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:36 PM

yes

i think so

would map the eye and white to a texture

then move the UV when you wanna move the eyeball

idk

i might just..... work on the high res version for awhile and see how I feel about it

can always revert

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:37 PM

Sounds like real work, but yea go for it girl

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:37 PM

yeah..

i'd have to somehow remake the grass

cause lines wont cut it in high res

and redraw the stars

remake my font

redo the UI

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:37 PM

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:37 PM

making font in high res (multiple resolutions)... I'd probably wanna go all the way

and vectorize it

and make it a proper font file

the grass would need to become triangles

and be done differently

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:38 PM

It'd look really nice though

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:38 PM

maybe. only if I do it right

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:38 PM

I know you will, your artistic skill is really impressive.

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:39 PM

I've never made a "non realistic" character design that wasnt crap

until now

but I've done a lot of portrait painting before

and a bit of 3d

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:39 PM

yes yes i know ^~^

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:39 PM

i gotta sleep soon

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:39 PM

She is really good narci u should feel good about it and keep doing amazingly

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:40 PM

yeah :]

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:40 PM

Alrighty well sleep well lovely narci ❤

Narcissa 19-Apr-19 11:40 PM

you too

two elite today

❤

gn

Deleted User e96ca8ae 19-Apr-19 11:40 PM

nighty night

Deleted User e96ca8ae 20-Apr-19 02:23 PM

Are you out and about? Adventuring into the unknown world?

Narcissa 20-Apr-19 02:50 PM

watching pound... not doing much

Deleted User e96ca8ae 20-Apr-19 02:51 PM

pound?

Narcissa 20-Apr-19 02:52 PM

https://www.twitch.tv/vgbootcamp

VGBootCamp - Twitch

POUND 2019 - DAY 2: ULTIMATE SINGLES ROUND 2 POOLS & SQUAD STRIKE FINALS! Ft. MKLeo, Nairo, Light, Samsora, Myran, VoiD, Dabuz, & more!

Deleted User e96ca8ae 20-Apr-19 02:56 PM

They're amazing. I wish I understood better how they're being so careful.

My brain doesn't see it the same way.

Narcissa 20-Apr-19 03:06 PM

that snake play was nuts

Deleted User e96ca8ae 20-Apr-19 03:10 PM

Good snake players are so tricky. A bit like zelda with how it can catch peeps off guard but even moreso

I don't think I've touched snake yet.

Narcissa 20-Apr-19 03:11 PM

yeah I dont play the character really

Deleted User e96ca8ae 20-Apr-19 03:12 PM

Snake and all the Links are annoying to me. I'm not great with the projectiles.

You should be there, destroying them all.

Gently dominating your way to the top.

omg that spike

Deleted User e96ca8ae 20-Apr-19 03:48 PM

wow

did u see his pika

Narcissa 20-Apr-19 03:48 PM

yeah... im gonna take a bath now though.... they're doing the finals tomorrow, should be nice

Deleted User e96ca8ae 20-Apr-19 03:49 PM

have a very nice bath

btw i have an appointment in 2 days to see if i can go on HRT, idk it's a big deal for me thought i'd share

Narcissa 20-Apr-19 03:54 PM

gl

Deleted User e96ca8ae 20-Apr-19 03:56 PM

tank yew

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 06:36 PM

i got 4.5m w/ palu

im comin for ya, lady

Narcissa 21-Apr-19 06:40 PM

wow

im @ 4.553,981

youre closing in

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 06:52 PM

that 53k is a lot especially with how much im gaining though, ur still leagues above me, i can tell by watching your videos

but im closer than i thought i'd ever get tbh

happy happy

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 07:03 PM

some jerks are doing some weird thing where they disconnect for like 5 seconds and then the match doesn't count

it's definitely intentional

Narcissa 21-Apr-19 07:03 PM

weird. I've encountered that a little but not that much

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 07:04 PM

I was pulling my pichu out of the 90k GSP crab bucket and met a few

there are some good players at like 90k

idk why

Narcissa 21-Apr-19 10:21 PM

not 100% sure on the proportions but yeah

will model this soon

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 10:23 PM

wow fast work as usual! it looks fantastic! Also it reminds me of those streams where you modeled yourself. Well done on making it so true to life.

Did you do this freehand? or did you have some sort of guide? (edited)

Narcissa 21-Apr-19 10:24 PM

couple different references

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 10:25 PM

makes sense, it's so similar to you

Narcissa 21-Apr-19 10:25 PM

ahhh but I didnt use self references, althogh i know my body pretty well

anywaay

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 10:25 PM

oh well very well done either way

Narcissa 21-Apr-19 10:25 PM

random references

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 10:27 PM

i have no idea how people are able to use references, doesn't work for me lol

cute tho, especially the second one

Narcissa 21-Apr-19 10:28 PM

hahah

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 10:28 PM

lol

Narcissa 21-Apr-19 10:28 PM

good times

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 10:29 PM

'twas a good day for me for sure

Your body is fucking amazing.

my opinion

lol sorry anyway good luck with the modeling

Narcissa 21-Apr-19 10:30 PM

lol

i might make another image for side view

before I startr

otherwise its hard to get depth right

Deleted User e96ca8ae 21-Apr-19 10:31 PM

Definitely. IDK how you'd do it properly otherwise. (edited)

Narcissa 22-Apr-19 10:05 PM

Deleted User e96ca8ae 23-Apr-19 01:21 PM

Great work so far. You're probably even further along now. Cute 'lil Narci butt

nice work on the legs

Deleted User e96ca8ae 23-Apr-19 01:47 PM

hey what was that one russian song you used to listen to now and then

Narcissa 23-Apr-19 01:51 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmH7CI4H5eE

OfficerMeep

ДОСЧИТАЙ ДО 100 ((Doschitai Do Sta)) By t.A.T.u.

ДОСЧИТАЙ ДО 100 by t.A.T.u. No video, just the song with the title.

Deleted User e96ca8ae 23-Apr-19 01:52 PM

yes yes ty

Narcissa 23-Apr-19 01:56 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QNz40ldlFs

TheAbstractFeeling

t.A.T.u. - Prostye Dvizheniya [HD]

Song: Prostye Dvizheniya Artist: t.A.T.u. Album: Remixes English description: This video appeared on the first album of remixes of the group. Spanish descrip...

also

this

Deleted User e96ca8ae 23-Apr-19 01:56 PM

oh yes of course!

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:34 PM

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:36 PM

coool

it's awesome that you're able to add these things in so quickly, maybe i don't realize how much work that takes, but it looks great

what is that on her neck

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:37 PM

uhhh my clock that is way too low res now

lol

im gonna remake the game in high res im quite sure now

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:37 PM

hmm ok

she looks good imo

her eyes come through properly

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:38 PM

random front view

i need to do feet / hands / crotch / clothing / hair refinements / bones / weight painting / animations

shader refinements

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:39 PM

yeah there is a lot to do, the hands and clothing and bones seem tough

animations too

scary

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:40 PM

i tried to send the blender skin material one but discord realized it was explicit

and blocked it

lol

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:41 PM

lol whaaaat

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:41 PM

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:41 PM

well i gotta turn that off for sure

i like her nipples OwO

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:42 PM

yeah they dont come across in game bc I havent done vertex colors yet for the skin

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:43 PM

ah yeah i was wondering about that

did you increase her boob size

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:43 PM

yes I did

those are about the boobs I wish I had lol

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:43 PM

i like your boobs, i've always liked flatter chests personally

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:44 PM

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:44 PM

Oh wow that looks pretty realistic

Make em pink :3

I actually hope, if I go through with HRT, that i don't grow boobs that're too big.

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:44 PM

mmmmmmmmm that shader is a matcap so it wont look like that in game but yeah like I could make the nipples pink

anyway now that in my game shader isnt total garbage I should probably just keep modeling

hands feet crotch

clothing

for the crotch I just want more of a V shape happening

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:46 PM

yeah, good luck with that stuff

yeah i agree

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:46 PM

right now its kinda bad

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:46 PM

lol a bit, but you'll get it fixed

yeah it isn't organic

looks like a doll

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:47 PM

i did try to get shoulder blades kinda showing

back mid line

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:47 PM

yeah that looks great

but and back looks great

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:47 PM

also up here

those bones

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:47 PM

ah yeah collar bones

nice touch

that brings it to life, those little things

definitely

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:48 PM

once it ends up cel shaded though a lot of detail goes away or is kinda messy

so its rough

i need to perfect the final result somehow

shes not looking bad though

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:50 PM

not at all, she is adorable, and the mouth is very nice

i like the side view

im not a designer at all, you're way better than me, but is her nose a tiny bit low?

might just be the angle

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:51 PM

might be a little

her eyes look really high up in that shot

but it also could be field of view / camera position

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:52 PM

lol

lol this is a funny situation just realized

not really but idk

im weird

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:53 PM

hmmm??

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:55 PM

lol idk i can't explain it without making me seem dumb

it's not important at all

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:55 PM

np

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:56 PM

if i focus on the bottom half it does remind me of you

your skin is pretty nice

After taking off my hair, i realize mine is pretty awful

anyway good luck with adding to your model

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:56 PM

thanks

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:56 PM

what're you gonna do first?

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:57 PM

idk I might be lazy and be done for the day

but definitely tomorrow

uhh

maybe fix the crotch

and idk if I wanna do "socks" or "actual feet with toes"

but hands I should model every finger

and thats a big one

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 09:57 PM

yeah hands are so tough

your fingers are nice too T~T

thin, an artist's fingers

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 09:59 PM

yeah ^~^

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:00 PM

beautiful girly

btw i got to... 4.536m today

idk if it is just gsp inflation

but im happy

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:02 PM

ill check mine and see

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:02 PM

okay

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:02 PM

4586

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:02 PM

aww

lol it's like exactly how much i went up

LOL

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:03 PM

lol Hmmmmmmm

im missing sonic Lucario Wolf Joker Corrin Bayo for elite smash

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:03 PM

i literally suck with everyone else

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:03 PM

i tried playing some kirby / zelda lately

it was bad

im ok with those but i dont wanna use them

i also tried mega man and i sucked so bad

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:04 PM

i'm sure your bad is my good, still lol

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:04 PM

when do I fight your palutena with my kirby

and zelda

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:04 PM

i'd like to get good at jiggly

Umm, we could do it now, but i'm a bit tired

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:04 PM

i think jiggly > kirby & zelda

ok lets play 6 games

palu vs kirby x 3

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:05 PM

okay ❤

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:05 PM

palu vs zelda x3

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:05 PM

sounds good

SW-6872-8864-5684 is my friendy code

im scared now

eep

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:06 PM

1 sec

ill host

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:07 PM

ok

i cant believe it is happening

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:07 PM

ill use that ole genesis 6 stagelist

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:07 PM

takes me back to when we played tennis... our first interactions

i hope we meet again someday

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:08 PM

its up on friends battle arena

password is 1470

oh apparently I was recording for 27 hours

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:09 PM

LOL

omg

r u gonna post me getting rekt

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:09 PM

yes

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:09 PM

LOL

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:09 PM

"Narcissa (Kirby, Zelda) vs Narci's BF (Palutena)"

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:10 PM

sounds good to me

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:10 PM

ok

whew

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:14 PM

augghhh

boooo

boooo**

oops

i meant

'

noooo

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:15 PM

lol

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:15 PM

lol

sorry

cant type like this

gg

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:19 PM

gg

same stage twice...

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:19 PM

ye

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:23 PM

nice!

2-1, now zelda

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:23 PM

hey i did one

lol

ur gonna rekt me now

jeeez

ur awesome ❤

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:31 PM

1 more

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:35 PM

o,fg

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:35 PM

lol

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:35 PM

o god

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:35 PM

ggs

do yyou wanna keep playing

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:35 PM

ggs

yes

i kinda do lol

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:35 PM

ok more characters then

ganon

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:35 PM

ok

ooo

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:39 PM

very close!

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:39 PM

sadface

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:43 PM

nother close one

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:43 PM

lol

\

that was brutal

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:46 PM

should i stay ganon or switch

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:46 PM

whatever u want

lol u reading me

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:49 PM

that stage is accidentally on but it seems pretty ok, just a bit wide

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:49 PM

i liked the mix

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:52 PM

lmao

shit

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:52 PM

not a real win tho

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:52 PM

i had low% sd to be fair

but yuou won

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:53 PM

u sd'd

te

ye

owie

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:56 PM

jiggly time imo

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:56 PM

omg jiggly is my bane

but ok

wow ur jiggly is hard to fight

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 10:59 PM

jiggly feel good to use I think this character could help you improve

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 10:59 PM

i knew it would be

i've been thinking of using her

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:00 PM

I can get in faster on your explosive flame

so more direct fight

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:04 PM

yoooouuu

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:04 PM

lol

good match

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:04 PM

gg

o.o

shit

narci u alive

OwO Sleep well, beautiful princess.

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:16 PM

Internet super dead

Rip

Let's play again sometime

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:16 PM

rip

yeah that was very fun

any advice for me?

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:19 PM

You have a good defensive style . Ef in front, us mash/ nair when they're above. Kinda tricky to get in. But when I do I start winning . Counter can be baited out and I think you use it too heavily, especially off stage. If you start doing invincible tele to ledge from above that could help. You're really good at catching ledge get up with ef. I'm surprised you don't go for uair, it's a great move

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:20 PM

wow lol u nailed me, impressive advice

yeah i need to tele from above sometimes

i never do it tru

and yeah, upair...

i used to use uair until i changed to no tap jump

i've lost the feeling for it, but i'll try to practice it

so invincible tele instead of counter

i'll have to practice that a lot

i've always felt like i'll SD

great advice though, ty

I wish I felt as certain as you do. I've seen this gender therapist a few times. I still don't know what I should do.

I go back and forth, also, it's WAY more dangerous for me because of my conditions. IDK (edited)

I feel sick.

I've never felt like anything

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:31 PM

=(

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:33 PM

I don't think my life is going to be all that good regardless of what I do, but I think going forward with this will shorten it considerably. It's a gamble.

I was actually given spiro

Seems like an impossible choice for me

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:34 PM

Hmm

So you got a blood test and confirmed it would be dangerous recently?

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:36 PM

Well, it's complicated, and I'll spare you the details. But basically spiro is fine, and I can go on another drug to prevent balding... but i have to talk to a hematologist to see if I can go on estrogen... and I am pretty certain if they allow me (which I doubt).

Thanks for talking about this w/ me...

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:37 PM

It's not a big deal but I'd prefer a little bigger. Wider, really

Yeah sounds scary

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:38 PM

and then if i get in an accident i'll just die

or fall badly

lol

fucking sucks

Estrogen will continue to grow your boobs for years, so they'll probably grow.

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:39 PM

Yeah

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:40 PM

I think your body is so nice, especially compared to mine.

I think my body is warning me.

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:40 PM

warning you...

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:40 PM

yeah like telling me it's a mistake and i'm trying not to listen and it'll kill me

also when i went to the endocrinologist they found a third disorder i was born with (found out today).

had an ultrasound

lol

im broken

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:41 PM

it sounds dangerous with your condition

What disorder

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:42 PM

It's a disorder of the thyroid that'll wear it down as I get older. My endo noticed it was enlarged slightly.

It's not as bad as the medical condition.

Yeah it's dangerous...

I think any reasonable person would just stop.

but i dont think I wanna be on just spiro... seems pointless

I'll still grow boobs on it

But I'll be a guy

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:44 PM

Would you grow boobs on it?

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:44 PM

Spiro does cause breast growth

not as much as estrogen probably

It might not

I would like to thin my body hair though

Narcissa 24-Apr-19 11:45 PM

Hmm

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:45 PM

and not go bald T~T

which i am

Well, I guess I'll see what the doctor says

But it's pretty clear to me

Deleted User e96ca8ae 24-Apr-19 11:55 PM

idk if u have an opinion on it, but if you do feel free to share

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 12:19 AM

things could be worse, i should be happy with what i've got

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 11:05 AM

you 2-framing was incredible last night

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 02:13 PM

you're always at risk if you teleport from below

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 02:18 PM

i see that now... peeps at my GSP never punish me like you did

Punish me...

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 02:19 PM

i will

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 02:21 PM

oh my

lol i want it

i've been bad

been teleporting below stage

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 02:39 PM

almost all zeldas teleport in more than me

if you shield it directly its even possible to FSMASH

as a punish

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 02:42 PM

yeah the teleport is what lets them get to elite... it's what i did

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 02:42 PM

yeah

if you walk / be idle / be ready to shield more

and be patient

it nullifies them

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 02:42 PM

ok ill try lol

i just suck is all

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 02:47 PM

its alright, takes awhile to incorporate these things

also you'll still get hit by random teleport in sometimes. its still a viable option

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 02:47 PM

didnt counter even one

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 02:47 PM

i dont like to counter it, shield is fine

if you hit an explosive flame at low-mid percent you can combo it into autoreticle for more damage

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 02:52 PM

i sorta knew that, but i stopped doing it

i'll try it again

idk why

im getting worse

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 03:32 PM

jiggly is very hard for me

i like how you play her, but i don't get it

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 03:47 PM

she has amazing air drift

so you can drift in and out

nair is a fast option

dair is good against shield kinda

fair is a good approach option

bair is a good KO option

sometimes you can combo fair to nair or w/e

and go waay off stage and kill them

dash attack is useful sometimes but at low% its unsafe even on hit

uair has a lingering hitbox so its good when they're above you

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 04:09 PM

ty very much :]

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 08:35 PM

toes

the feet arent super good but it was fun making

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 08:39 PM

Nice! The feet and hands are always so tricky. I think the middle-front of the feet might be a tiny bit flat, unsure if it's perspective. It's amazing how she is coming together already.

I thought it'd take a lot longer.

Meanwhile, I'm just waiting to die.

I need to be like you.

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 08:39 PM

self motivated

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 08:39 PM

I used to be.

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 08:39 PM

i think they are flat

too flat

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 08:39 PM

yeah a tad

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 08:41 PM

you could start on something today, or tomorrow, or the next day

music art writing drawing 3d 2d programming graphics shaders physics controls

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 08:42 PM

I think the bottom is pretty good, maybe add a bit to the ball of the foot behind the big toe

yeah i've tried this all in the past, i was even doing music, but it all seems pointless

im not good enough

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 08:43 PM

do you have thoughts on making less flat

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 08:44 PM

You need to bring up the top of the foot as it gets closer to the toes and in general (edited)

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 08:44 PM

?

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 08:45 PM

yeah that might be better

also it's bigger towards the big toe and smaller towards the pinky toe

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 08:46 PM

yea

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 08:46 PM

kk :3

i guess nothing feels right for me yet

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 08:48 PM

youll figure it out

hmmm I see something to fix

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 08:49 PM

that's a lot better already

the big toe is a bit flat too

what do u see

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 08:52 PM

maybe htis is better hmmmmmmmmmmm

you have skills you know, you're helping me with this right now

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 08:53 PM

It's definitely looking better

there are a lot of tiny details to feet now that i look at it, never really thought of it

and thank you for trying to make me feel better

BUT IM USELESS

lol

I've found I have real issues making any choices that will change my life in any real way.

I don't know who I am.

I'm a monster.

Narcissa 25-Apr-19 08:57 PM

monster huh

Deleted User e96ca8ae 25-Apr-19 08:58 PM

rawr OwO

Deleted User e96ca8ae 26-Apr-19 05:00 PM

ye idk what i am

i dont exist

i died and didnt even realize

Narcissa 26-Apr-19 05:08 PM

voidfriend

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:28 AM

What was it that made you realize you were a girl?

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:30 AM

preferred form

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:30 AM

:]

It's a good form.

Top tier form

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:30 AM

:]

ive had a hard time the last f ew days

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:30 AM

oh? what's up?

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:30 AM

still chugging along on the project though

i just see so much bs

i get really annoyed at youtube recommendations

i still feel a lot of pain from not having ppl in my time of need

while other ppl get nuthugged to death

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:31 AM

You deserve more than them. You're just as good and you are real.

They're fake.

They'll be remembered as someone fake.

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:32 AM

some people get incredible support bc of networking and its a bunch of kind of fake relationships that benefit everyone

i just retreated into my little cave

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:33 AM

yeah there are many in their caves, me too

but yes, the networking thing is throughout society

same with getting a job

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:33 AM

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:33 AM

Nice!

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:33 AM

theres a fuckload of drones in life

without much original thought

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:33 AM

Love the nails

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:33 AM

thanks

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:34 AM

twitch chat is a pit of zombies

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:34 AM

lool

thats true

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:34 AM

but you need zombies

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:34 AM

yeah need to build a zombie army so you can stay afloat in a crazy world

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:34 AM

use their zombie limbs as a raft

you can do it

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:35 AM

even though I get really depressed I also think that I'm working on cool stuff

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:35 AM

Your work is amazing. It's better already than most people could do. But I understand the feeling, a lot.

sometimes depression just comes, at least for me, i don't get it

but you're always free to talk to me

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:36 AM

yeah

it does come sometimes

(nmiaow)

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:37 AM

lol

why not though :3

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:37 AM

;p

i think you use explosive flame better than me sometimes

i gotta work on that

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:38 AM

You can always compare yourself to someone better off, but you are so focused and you will do well. You're just quality.

wow thank you

that means a lot coming from you

I feel like I rely on it a lot.

But yes, it's how I win most games right now.

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:39 AM

you probably over rely on it but you also place it really well I think

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:39 AM

thanks T~T

gonna make me cry

i've been getting good at going offstage with it too

nobody expects that

it's a cool move

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:40 AM

its so much better than smash 4

ugh

she had counter down special

reflect side special

and explosive flame didnt exist

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:40 AM

ohhh

i like her more now

i gotta stop using counter as much, and im still figuring out uair

i really suck with uair for some reason (edited)

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:41 AM

the one thing with palutena that I feel bad about is like dthrow followups (including dthrow bair)

i feel like sometimes I dthrow people and they simply escape

and dthrow bair im quite bad at especially the dashing rar version

.... along with needing to be better about placing EF / AR

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:41 AM

i don't even know how to execute those tbh

im bad with combos

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:42 AM

also I sometimes do utilt when I shouldnt

but that move is useful at times

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:42 AM

it's a good move, yes

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:42 AM

and ftilt is sort of bad but sort of useful too. and sometimes I accidentally do it when I mean to dash attack

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:42 AM

yeah i need to lessen ftilt too

it lasts so long though

does trip peeps up

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:43 AM

if they shield both hits they can often punish you for throwing it out but

soemtimes when people are trying to like get back on stage you can throw out ftilt and it owns them

playing kirby recently he really feels bad, i even like jiggly's dair more

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:43 AM

yeah it has definite uses i think... something im trying to do is dair joker when he up specials

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:44 AM

i almost beat this 4.6m gsp snake with my jiggly, he was like 40k above me or something

sad loss

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:44 AM

40k above you o_o

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:44 AM

well

he was about same gsp as my palutena

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:44 AM

oh w/ jiggles

damn 4.6m now

always chasing the dream

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:44 AM

always

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:45 AM

im 35k away, but i feel like you're still probably about 50k above me

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:45 AM

need to add 2 more nails, make these fingers look less alien, and connect the wrist

then I need to retopologize the crotch area......

and then the body is done

then I can add clothes

lemme see my gsp

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:45 AM

clothes are amazing

how do you retopologize

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:46 AM

its a mess I just need to reconstruct the flow of the edge loops or w/e

but im not very good ati t

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:46 AM

sounds complicated

i wish i could watch

i'd bet you're 4,015,000 gsp

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:47 AM

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:47 AM

oops

i mean 4,615,000 gsp

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:47 AM

I just lost 7k gsp the other night

lost 3 times to an olimar barely, and dropped a couple other games

4606k

palutena

so I could have been like 4613

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:48 AM

yeah i haven't moved relatively

sad times

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:48 AM

i kinda wanna play now

i did pretty good work on hands today

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:48 AM

yeah the nails look pretty

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:48 AM

the hands / fingers look bad

but I do like the nail technique im using

I can probably fix the hands up though

tomorrow

ill play some palu

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:49 AM

yeah there's a lot of detail that can be added, although i guess it depends on the art style

but you're good

you got it

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:49 AM

yeah its a balance where im not sure how many polys I want

i was thinking

sub 50k for entire model with clothing

could be good

although if it ends up mmo style then maybe 50k is a bit high

maybe

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:50 AM

i have no real reference for that

idk

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:50 AM

apparently some modern games (last 2 years) use ~100k for characters

I believe Ocarina of Time used a bit over 1000

something like that

not even sure

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:51 AM

sounds fine then probably, but networking in general is tough stuff

if you're gonna go MMO

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:51 AM

i want to someday

headless server that validates everything

while ppl run around

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:52 AM

It sounds nice.

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:52 AM

ok im going on elite now so i might not reply for a bit

or intermittently

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:52 AM

okay :] knock em dead

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 12:56 AM

knocked 1 dead

4595k zelda

higher than my zelda

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 12:57 AM

you're a giant, ya know

a powerful goddess

I wish I could close the gap... I'll try.

I think the female form is a good aesthetic too. I'd love the lessened body hair and clothes and voice and everything. (edited)

I'm awful at making decisions. I've thought so much about this the past month straight.

I'm obsessed.

I've got clothes, makeup, meds, everything.

Too afraid i guess

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 01:00 AM

the blood results... did you get another opinion

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 01:01 AM

That will not be for a little while, but I have other meds I can safely take like spiro and finasteride

But estrogen is still unknown

ty for asking tho

i was playing smash too so ill go back and play 'with' you (edited)

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 01:04 AM

finasteride sounds pretty based

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 01:06 AM

yeah my doc said i could do both after i get used to spiro (edited)

it does sound good

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 01:09 AM

i like playing this zelda

might keep this going for awhile

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 01:10 AM

a rivalry :3

just dommed a jiggly, nearly 3 stock @ my gsp

But she didn't give me the Narcissa-nair that you did

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 01:14 AM

Lol

i feel like im slowly demoralizing this zelda

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 01:18 AM

lol you probably are

but they must learn

through your divine punishment

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 01:19 AM

OOOFF

i dropped a game

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 01:19 AM

to the zeldy?

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 01:19 AM

ye

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 01:19 AM

is ok

i lost to a 4.57 zeldy :[

am a noob

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 01:24 AM

thats only 20k below the one im fighting

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 01:28 AM

20k of the toughest bunch of gamers

the true elite

skin untouched by the sun

powerful fingers

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 01:29 AM

dropped another one

this zelda better than my zelda for sure

lol

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 01:31 AM

zelda is a weird one for palu i feel because if u can explosive flame, she can teleport

basically makes my best move really risky

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 01:33 AM

yea

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 01:52 AM

twee stocked a mario

i kinda wonder how he got to this gsp tbh

approaching 4.57

i will claw my way to the heavens!

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 01:56 AM

still fighting this zelda

prob dropped like 4 games

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 01:59 AM

must be a good matchup, intense

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 02:00 AM

yeah will def upload

sigh

so close and dropped

sometimes im impressed with zeldas, its not often tho

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 02:06 AM

You have a history.

Kindred spirits

You didn't upload our games, are you ashamed of me UwU

lol

is ok im not a true match

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 02:10 AM

yeah internet dcd and i was like w/e

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 02:10 AM

rip life

i've noticed i've been doing these teleports downward and killing myself sometimes

unsure if it is me or the controller

i dont feel like im pressing down

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 02:14 AM

have to let go pretty quick

aim the tele then let go

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 02:15 AM

i usually just press up special and let go

when it happens

was beaten by low kirby

soul hurt

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 02:20 AM

v~v

1

this zelda going kinda even with me

im losing gsp

lol

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 02:23 AM

damn they must be pretty damn good

ruin them!

make them quit!

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 02:24 AM

beat em (edited)

they're 9k below me

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 02:31 AM

i wanna be near u so bad

in gsp

i wonder where hwan is

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 02:32 AM

hmmmmmmmmmm

i think you two are close

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 02:32 AM

im nowhere near there lol

hwan

yeah maybe

lol sorry

was confuzzled

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 02:37 AM

^_^

i was doing some good shit that round

sometimes i improvise a lot

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 02:48 AM

almost 20k ahead of them now

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 02:50 AM

nice

i just got whooped by a dang lil mac

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 02:52 AM

ahhh they finallyu won aghain

i wanted to get 4610 and them at 4589

thats kinda my goal lol (edited)

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 02:56 AM

lol

suckling on their GSP and leaving them to suffer

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 02:56 AM

they said last battle

idk if they mean 1 more

yeah 1 more

lool

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 03:00 AM

im stuck down here

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 03:02 AM

great games with Rickster

holy shit that was over 2 hours

im super done now

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 03:05 AM

yeah i think im good too

i played earlier too

ill watch your games tomorrow

or whenever you upload them

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 03:05 AM

yeah it's sleep time pretty soon

btw I recommend the anime "Violet Evergarden"

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 03:05 AM

ok ill write it down thanks

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 03:05 AM

https://www4.9anime.to/watch/violet-evergarden.mymp/zyr40w

Watch Violet Evergarden English Subbed in HD on 9anime.to

Watch Watch Violet Evergarden English Subbed in HD on 9anime.to Violet Evergarden,ヴァイオレット・エヴァーガーデン English Subbed online for free in h...

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 03:08 AM

time to send my consciousness to dreamland gn narcissa

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 03:10 AM

gn

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 05:24 PM

omg i beat a 5.59m palu named selo

very few palu's up here

but yes i have potential to grow

if only i had a hyper-sexy goddess gamer girl to mentor me

Everything is gonna be just fine... just fine

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 05:43 PM

nice

Deleted User e96ca8ae 28-Apr-19 06:51 PM

lost like 20 in a row hard i suck

and ill suck forever

Narcissa 28-Apr-19 06:51 PM

=[ break time

Narcissa 29-Apr-19 10:58 PM

hmmm

neets rise up

Narcissa 30-Apr-19 12:33 AM

yeah

lol

Narcissa 01-May-19 02:48 PM

i don't wanna get in the middle of this...

just take a break, lay down and breathe deep

i'm not in there very often

shireen trolled in my discord pretty hard so she ended up banned. she was gonna get unbanned but the phone ban can't be repealed or something. scy has always been nice to me

Narcissa 01-May-19 03:51 PM

you're the one making a stand

i was chilling before all this

now you're coming out with ultimatums

it sucks ass basically

i need space from you