how to be a furry:art, fic, RP

Art

Despite the fact that art has been mentioned since the first page, the matter still calls for elaboration.

As an artist, you want to impress on everyone your originality, regardless of whether it actually exists. You want to appear humble, and dedicated. You do this by drawing lots of yiff art.

What's a yiff?

Furries having sex.

So I have to draw...lots of furries having sex.

In more than one sense of the word, yes.

Why?

Because you're a furry.

One of the most common methods for getting attention is to draw lots of art featuring characters belonging to other artists. For some reason, these works will almost invariably feature your character in a more prominent role then that of the other artist's character. If you're lucky, they may even feel the need to draw you fanart in return. Art theft is also a possibility.

As for sex in your work make sure you employ your fetish at the slightest pretext, and your "thing" always. With enough practice, you may actually become good at it. Not that you need to try too hard.

It's also good to create what marketing people call an "artificial demand" for your work by distributing some pieces exclusively by email and (popular) newsgroup. Sooner or later, they'll wind up on an imageboard somewhere. Then: get wanky.

Wanking i important for any furry artist, as it shows how great your are by belittling others. If you have any self-doubt at all, everyone will abandon you, and you'll be left cold, alone, and fanless.

Fic

This section shows you how to create furry fiction. Ideally, it should be full of yiff. And some character development. But mostly yiff.

I'm kind of worried about my parents finding my writing on my computer.

Oh, that's easy. Write it in Notepad or Wordpad and save it as a .GIF file. Unless your parents right click on the icon, hover over the "Open With" option, and manually select the program, they're never going to find it.

Speaking from experience?

...moving on.

The trick is to make your character accessible, but not too generic. Common among males are:

• Loner who sits in front of his computer all day, wishing he could get a woman.
• Independent friendless corporate drone longing to quit his day job. Optional:Unrequieted lust for sexy female coworker.
• Horny, sexually frustrated high school/college student.
• Magically bound sex slave who breaks free by sheer horniness.

For females and herms;

• Loner who has tried and tried, but can't find a man. Optional: best friend with active sex life.
• Independent corporate drone longing to quit her day job. Optional: Male coworker who has unrequieted love for them.
• Horny, sexually frustrated high school/college student. Optional: forcible, near-rape seduction by a male or herm. If they're originally consenting, but change their mind due to mind control, that counts.
• Magically bound sex slave who breaks free by sheer horniness. Optional(females): breaking free because of conversion to herm.

Basically, any character that's opressed, repressed, and/or depressed is good.

The protagonist should undergo some sort of emotional transformation that changes their attitude from negative to positive. A gay male in the closet will come out, and immediately find Tru Wub. Females with a long period of unrequited love will seduce the object of their obsession withi five minutes Often, the change is precipitated by the hero ordering something by mail, usually found over the Internet. Or two characters will simultaneously confess their love for each other, and have mindblowing sex with dual orgasmic climaxes. There are also a surprising number of laratories focusing on sexual augmentation and alteration. For some reason, furry worlds don't seem to have cancer, STDs(despite the large amount of unprotected sex going on), or any fatal are debilitating diseases at all. The only diseases are transmitted by sex, and act only on sex drives and one's genetalia.

Remember, the laws of physics are no barrier. As said earlier, a penis the size of a small child can pop out of a sheath that was merely bulging, and in the space of only a few seconds. Well-endowed furs can somehow get delicate fabric to fit over their clothes, and it would still "barely contain" their assets. Why they would want such uncomfortable clothing is never explained. Nor is the question of blood flow ever addressed. To read furfic, you do not suspend disbelief; you drag it down an alley, beat it up, and hang it from a tree. Projectile and melee weapons can exist side by side with mad scientists, no questions asked. And if you have any talent at all, you're guaranteed popularity. And remember; if you haven't described your hero's life in minute detail within five paragraphs of every fic, you should probably give up.

Roleplaying

When roleplaying, one of the most basic things to remember is to never use one word where two will do. This starts in your profile. For example, this is a description;

Ithel Aki ExtrinsicWolf
Gender: Female
Preference: With girls, dom, with boys, sub.
Appearance: Maroon, with navy blue and light green highlights. Blue hair with light green streaks, light green eyes.
Backstory: Ithel was born to a middle-class family and went through the educational system. She eventually attained her master's degree in pharmaceuticals and runs a dispensary in southwest Furmerica. She has some middling skill with magic, and likes watching TV and mountain biking, though she's only tried it once.
Fetishes: None, though she would like to think of herself as open-minded.
Personality: Shy. Ithel is the stay-at-home type, proably due to her parents burdening her with such an uneven moniker.
Hobbies: Cooking, mountain biking, reading fantasy stories.
Species: Wolf.

Not very exciting, is it? It sounds like a personal ad. What it needs is a good helping of thesaurus rape.

Ithel Aki ExtrinsicWolf
Gender: Dickgirl Hermaphrodite
Preference: Ithel has a mercurial inclination, preferring to be the ascendant in any couplings with females, and acquiescent in her coitus with males.
Appearance: Ithel's shimmering fur is a dark, some would say almost blood-red, with deep azure markings and chartreuse highlights. Her hair is a matching beryl with that of her body, with verdigris streaks, and piercing emerald orbs that seem to look right through you. Due to her twisted ancestry, she has two antennae curling forward from her forehead, and her eyes are actually compound.
Backstory: Ithel was born to a middle-class family. Hir parents were killed during a raid by gang members, and shi worked herself through the educational system as a prostitute. Now shi runs a pharmacy in southwest Furmerica, and is a supporter of the revolutionaries, whom shi secretly gives aid and shelter to. Shi has some slight skill with magic, having been taught by a wizard to whom she gave good service during her prostitute days, who eventually gave her an amythest pendant which shi wears all the time, as well as changing hir into a hermaphrodite. Shi was also taught in the ways of the ninja, and carries a magic katana, which she hides in a secret compartment in her shop and bedroom.
Fetishes: Veggienostrum, BDSM.
Personality: Ithel is the demure type, save during sex, probably due to her parents burdening her with such an uneven moniker.
Hobbies: Sex, sports (esp. mountain biking), martial arts.
Species: Wolf/dragon/insect hybrid.

And if it's open-form, you can have even more fun.

Standing before you in the mist is an indistinct form. As your eyes adjust, you see that it is a regal-looking hermaphrodite. Hir fur is a deep blood-red color, and she has dark blue and chartreuse markings on her body. As you look into her eyes, even more surprising than the two antennae curling forward from her forehead, or the elongeated head that are both products of her ancestry, is the pain in her shimmering emerald orbs.

After being abused as a child, Ithel ran away from her home shortly before it was destroyed by gangs. She found employment as a prostitute, and was trained in the ways of the ninja by one of her favored customers. Working as a prostitute, she had the chance to observe the destitutionism of the country's lower class, and this filled her with rage against the government which would later lead to her supporting the revolution. Another of her customers, a wizard, taught her in the ways of magic and changed her into a herm, as well as giving her a magic pendant.

After using hir hoin' money to get through night school, Ithel now runs a small pharmacy that doubles as a revolutionary base. Shi has had many torrid love affairs, and is an experienced lover, preferring to be on top. Shi is a wolf/dragon/insect hybrid.

As your eyes are drawn down hir body, you notice the wide, childbearing hips, and moist femsex beneath hir massive black phallus. She has a mischeivous sparkle in her eyes, signifying that she's open for anything.

Well, do you have any reaction?

*retching*

Steady on, old bean. Now, let's look at the actual RP.

Do I...do I have to?

Sadly, yes.

Saints preserve me.

I doubt they're around.

Upon entering the RP, the best recourses for signalling your availability are to a) hit on everyfur with a pulse, b)continually make posts about how bored you are. Eventually, someone will begin petting or "scritching" you.

Do I run?

No, this is the furry equivalent of foreplay. Eventually, you wil proceed onto sex. Just remember to climax at the same time as your partner(s) and to use plenty of thesarus rape, and you'll be fine. Try to sound like Penny Arcade's Tycho. Here are some examples:

female			male			misc
breasts	vagina	body	penis	body(seme)	body(uke)	eyes	fur/scales
"mounds", "sensuous mounds", "roe deer", "mounds of pleasure", "globes", "femfruit", "pert nipples", "tiers"	"glistening sex", "bud of pleasure", "femsex"(herms), "her sex", "meat curtains", "silken folds", "gossamer lips", "love sheath", "sensitive little knot", "tiny aperture", "woman hole", "nether region", "smooth, fleshy oval at the joining of her thighs", "the slick fluid of the wall beading on the glistening outer lips", "private cave", "pleasure center", "feminine aspect"	"sensually curved", "plesantly curved", "plush thighs", "full hips", "soft curves", "toned form", "slender figure", "breath-taking form", "gentle angle", "goddess-like", "tight high roundness"(butt), "ripe"	"meat missle", "shaft", "man-shaft", "man-spear", "lower horn", "honeyed sword", any comparison to weapons, "velvet-sheathed steel that proclaimed him male", "wand of copulation", "slimy peter", "phallus", "throbbing member", "pulsing member", "powerfully throbbing shaft", any use of the words "pulsing" or "throbbing", "harpoon of lust", "hugeness", "manhood", "love lance", "generous", "swollen probe", "tenderest part", "penis"	"rippling", "writhing with muscle", "meatpacker", "like a coiled spring of energy, waiting to explode", "corded like tree trunks", "radiating masculine energy"	"slender", "lithe", "flexible", "sleek"	"orbs", "glimmering orbs", "glimmering and reflective", "oculars"	"pelt", "ebon pelt", "russet pelt", "emerald pelt", etc. "silky" "glistening"(scales), "rich, deep"

In your profile, it's often a good idea to refer to female characters as "femme" for no real reason at all. Nothing is black; it is either "obisidan" or "ebon". Green is "emerald", red is "wine-colored", yellow is "gold" or "champagne". You can occupy some pleasant afternoons with a thesaurus in one hand, a few furry profiles in front of you, and a bottle of hard whiskey in the other.

Of paramount importance is describing your entrance. The more lines that you take up, the higher the likelihood that the fellow participants will notice you insinuating your way through the verdant air, depositing yourself before them, and drawing their eyes, almost appearingly as if by magic.

Occasionally, fursonae become so popular that the owner wants to expand their world. I reccomend a webcomic, with plenty of cameos from your favorite RP partners. Get hosting on KeenspaceComicgenesis, a stable webcomic host with a simple interface and a short application process. Once you're on, your popularity is assured. If you have any money, go from Keenspace to a private host after a few months. After a few weeks of "working out the bugs", proceed as normal.