Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 198 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 794 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,395
like a Tony Robbins book or a timeshare presentation, and as long as you say the right Jesus words every once in a while you can fit in with all the other shallow fat boomers like Jack.
Shh don't say "Tony Robbins," we don't want Pamela Swain showing up.
 
Congratulations to PCTLM! I can guarantee that Fat Jack is absolutely seething like crazy in the Carolinas right now. He's going to gorge more of the BBQ to feel good after this debacle!

Is he going to cry to his boyfriend Paul and Mommywife?
"I..I...dont get it. I sent a request so they have to delete the videos! Isnt that how it works? WOW. I cant believe this. Honey how can they do this? I dont even know who they are!"

Without a doubt hes crying and being a confused annoying shit. Im sure when the tire went flat he sat there bitching as Tammy and to figure out what to do. Im sure she got him a sweet drink to keep him quiet and feel like a good boy for waiting 2 hours.

Also congrats @rubytintedchix and @TheLazyMan for the victiory over this fat bastard.
 
Yeah prayer. The last refuge of those that say they want to do something but don't actually want to help.
Prayer is an okay thing for someone to say if there's literally nothing they can do, like your dad died or some shit, what are they going to do, bring him back to life? When they could do something and they say that instead, the proper response is pretty much fuck you, asshole.
"I..I...dont get it. I sent a request so they have to delete the videos! Isnt that how it works? WOW. I cant believe this. Honey how can they do this? I dont even know who they are!"
Suck it Jack, you fat tub of shit.
 
Edit: Also seems like the Scalfani Mobile blown a tire while on the WARS "tour". I like how Jack made it seem like he's doing the driving and its hard work waiting 2 hours for a tire leak to be repaired, thus rewarding himself with a venti chai latte from Starbucks (53g of sugar).

Not familiar with Starbucks orders but am I interpreting the "Double" correctly to mean he added two full shots of espresso to a chai latte?
 
Prayer is an okay thing for someone to say if there's literally nothing they can do, like your dad died or some shit, what are they going to do, bring him back to life? When they could do something and they say that instead, the proper response is pretty much fuck you, asshole.
Stop taking your Lithium and pray your mental health back to normal!

Make sure to edit your will to donate your estate to the Murder Church ASAP to show God the proper respect!
 
Not familiar with Starbucks orders but am I interpreting the "Double" correctly to mean he added two full shots of espresso to a chai latte?
Probably just one more than is normally there. This isn't that unusual except someone as fat as Jack shouldn't be ordering sweetened coffee anyway. Also only retards get coffee at Starcucks. Their coffee is shit.
 
tammy better slip something into jack's beverage to knock him out before the drive back to TN or else she's in for hours of nonstop bitching and complaining

i guarantee he's raging hard right now. sorry fatty, abusing the YT copyright strike system didn't work
The best part is he'll be extra angry due to the copyright strikes he received from stolen thumbnails. I am certain that he will want to boycott youtube out of rage. Remember when he claimed he stopped using youtube's service allowing him to get paid subscribers because they wouldn't take his suggestion to make chat subscriber only? Of course he won't actually boycott it since he doesn't have the strength of character to take a meaningful stand on anything. We saw his football protests went.
 
Probably just one more than is normally there. This isn't that unusual except someone as fat as Jack shouldn't be ordering sweetened coffee anyway. Also only retards get coffee at Starcucks. Their coffee is shit.

My dumb and pointless clarification of the day: their chai tea lattes don't come with espresso, so yes, he added two shots to them.
 
My dumb and pointless clarification of the day: their chai tea lattes don't come with espresso, so yes, he added two shots to them.
He really added coffee to tea?

Disgusting. He probably has more lesions than brain tissue at this point, the absolute goddamn dumbass.
 
Edit: Also seems like the Scalfani Mobile blown a tire while on the WARS "tour". I like how Jack made it seem like he's doing the driving and its hard work waiting 2 hours for a tire leak to be repaired, thus rewarding himself with a venti chai latte from Starbucks (53g of sugar).

View attachment 2657277
Jack is very angry! Reeeeeee

This is a message from God to tell you to stop your Gunt Wars, Jack. You're one pulled-pork sandwich away from becoming a vegetable.

Get fucked, Jack! :semperfidelis:
 
1635177149264-png.2657277


Aww, fatty boo boo had to wait two whole hours to have his tire fixed... don't they know he's a famous YouTuber?
What an insufferable asshole, acting like shit should just happen at the snap of his fingers, like he's the only person needing vehicle service right then and there, and that the place should be so overly staffed to get the customer back on the road in mere minutes. Choke on your latte fat fucking fuck.
 
He really added coffee to tea?

Disgusting. He probably has more lesions than brain tissue at this point, the absolute goddamn dumbass.
"Dirty chai" as it's called is actually pretty darn tasty because the espresso shot balances out with the sweetness, and if Starbucks makes their chai like I do where I work it's going to be VERY sweet. In a 20oz cup that's going to be a buttoad of chai concentrate, way more than he needs on top of the added caffeine!
 
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