Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[Kaede Did Nothing Wrong]

You, early 2000's, full of hope and optimism: watching a video on an exciting new Internet video site, laughs at of how Eric Bauman sucks and Lowtax will bang Bauman's mom and brand his ass with Something Awful.

You, late 2021, your hope and optimism gone: reading on a New Zealand agricultural forum about how Lowtax, the alcoholic, drug-addicted, twice-divorced ex-owner of Something Awful, has died under unknown circumstances. Eric Bauman is still alive, still has his money and is not a drain on society or a constant source of drama and bullshit to the people around him.

Really makes you think.

this is about the best thing that could be said. I feel huge dissonance between the fun times growing up on the internet and the smoking wreck current day.

Whether he was a good, bad or indifferent father, his children are going to be shaped by this for the rest of their lives.

what happened is a tragedy for his kids but it started long before he shot himself. but everyone understands what suicide means. only people who understand the horror of having a loved one be an addict are people in the same boat.

 

[Freya]

setting an example for all tranny chasers

 

[AnOminous]

From running off to bang the Mormon, to making sure his wife stayed in some homeless shelter with that one kid for a significant amount of time, to burning through all the money to make extra sure they wouldn't profit of it in any way.

If he was any kind of man, instead of the worm he was, he would have made it look like an accidental overdose so there would be life insurance.

Oh what the fuck am I saying, like a selfish prick like him ever would even have had life insurance. That's to protect your loved ones, and he had none of those.

 

[Clockwork_PurBle]

>mother in law blames ex-daughter in law

Every fucking time. Like clockwork.

 

[Eggman's Ghost]

Uhhh this motherfucker really did kill himself over child support

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itt a tribute to our late founder, farewell, deer richard - The Something Awful Forums

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itt a tribute to our late founder, farewell, deer richard - The Somet…

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So he was just about to receive some actual punishment for all the shit he's put his family through (seemingly out of spite and nothing else?) and shot himself to get out of it? Cool move Lowtax, very manly!

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

From the legal thread, last week:

(Rate late and gay if already posted, this thread is moving fucking fast rn)

He’s a modern Nostradamus.

Place your bets on how long it takes for troons to find a way to blame this on us.

They’ll blame us while dancing on his grave.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

If he was any kind of man, instead of the worm he was, he would have made it look like an accidental overdose so there would be life insurance.

Oh what the fuck am I saying, like a selfish prick like him ever would even have had life insurance. That's to protect your loved ones, and he had none of those.

With all his health issues I don't think underwriting would go well regardless

And there's no way he picked up life insurance during the ambien box wine phase

 

[AnOminous]

Long story short, the site that made him famous became different from him, eventually rejecting him entirely.

Not really. Most of the site didn't even know him because he abandoned it and just treated it as a free money pump. He interacted with the site at most a couple times a year. He was as absent a father to the site as he was to his own children.

 

[Amazing Criminal]

But what is Uwe Boll's opinion on all this?

 

[Rebel Wilson]

@Dyn is a god among men and always right. Even when he's wrong.

I hope they aren't but if they are I hope they realize, at least at some point, that they are better off without that worthless bastard in their lives. I'm just glad he was such a neglectful father that they barely knew him and were pretty much done with him even before his final fuck you.

Since he probably didn't bother saying this, it wasn't their fault.

You seem autistically upset and you're acting like a tard

 

[AnOminous]

This isn’t particularly about Lowtax but morons believing the smallest fault negates everything else in someine’s life wear me the fuck out.

It's not like there was anything to negate. The rest of his life was absolute shit too.

 

[Red Mask]

Was Lowtax one of the last "giants" of the web 1.0 era that still had a public face (If even in a extremely diminished way)? I'm having a hard time coming up with any others that are still around.

KThor of Portal of Evil is still around, but the site itself is nothing more than a video viewing site. I think Newgrounds is still around too.

 

[Mola Ram]

But what is Uwe Boll's opinion on all this?

"Wer ist 'Lowtax'? Raus!"

 

[Jan Ciągwa]

Only the most seasoned, exceptionally exceptional shitposts may grace your eyes. Understandable.

Keep in mind I asked for this in the context of anime avatarded Reddit/Twitter refugees who inevitably turn every featured thread here into a septic tank and started appearing here rather recently. Every time I had to read 100s of pages of some Russian trucker-tier takes I'd check the author's regdate which turned out to be less than a week sometimes. I really don't wanna murder my wrist by manually pointing the mouse on your username to get to know you're here barely two months and it's 95% probable you're seeing this thread for the first time, never contributed to it and didn't even bother to read the OP or thumb the highlights before dumping your own unique (just like every other) pile of shit for me to mentally shovel through in my spare time to stay in the loop with the thread.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

Lowtax's story should be required reading for everyone who's a YouTube star or TikTok influencer, or whatever.

A guy who thought the money train was going to keep on going who bought all the flashy shit and lived life like he was now part of the 1% forever.

Who ended up deep throating sausage on webcams for sheckles and then offed himself.

 

[Butwhythough]

But what is Uwe Boll's opinion on all this?

Sad because he couldn't finish the job himself.

 

[AnOminous]

I never read up on his divorce drama because it was depressing, but I have read enough to know his exs seem like awful people who are all probably BPD trainwrecks.

Well duh, that's the only kind of bitch he was attracted to. Even that is entirely his fault.

 

[Suction Bucket]

Glowtax didn't even need to get a job. Something Awful was more prestigious than 4chan and attracted posters from high positions (for better or worse). He could've sold around 2007-8 and be set for life. But Rich never considered that the gravy train would end, and to be fair to him, it lasted way longer than it should have.

If you've ever dealt with the kind of lazy addict that Lowtax was, you swiftly learn that no amount of money constitutes "set for life" for these people. Their expenditure will always swell to be precisely income+10%, and they will always have an excuse. If Lowtax had actually sold out during the big dot com bubble and gotten a few million he would've just blown money in bigger, dumber ways and shot himself with a more expensive gun.

 

[Goodbye Horses]

Guess I got my wish.

 

[AnOminous]

I met a tranny from an antique site,
Who said - “Two vast and hairy legs of stone
Stand in the forum... near them, in the sand,
Half sunk a slovenly visage, whose frown,
And hairy lip and sneer of lazy command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The 10 bucks given, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Lowtax, King of Goons;
Look upon my Site ye Mighty and despair!
Nothing besides remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal lolcow, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away”

Brilliant. It would be complete if you managed to fit sweaty toes in there somewhere.