Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[The Southwest Strangla]

Well, that’s one thing that will get you on the sex offender list, Jack.

 

[Blasterisk]

View attachment 2811724
Well, that’s one thing that will get you on the sex offender list, Jack.

I highly doubt anything sexual can be seen from the front if he drops his pants nevermind the rear

 

[the khat quaffer]

Imagine ever drinking after having more than one stroke. As if your brain isn't fucked enough. You don't need alcohol to get fucked when you're on Jack's stroke level.

When you're as stroked-out as Jack is all you need to get "drunk" is to have a thought. Maybe that's why he's so ｒｅｔａｒｄｅｄ in all his videos. He briefly tries to think about the measurements of a recipe.

Oh he was totally a drinker back in the day and wouldn't be surprised if he partook of drugs and other refreshments as well.

A lot of born again types are like that in they always felt something was missing in their lives and filled that hole with whatever they could be it sex, drugs or alcohol. It's also why so many conversion stories happen when these people totally hit rock bottom. They're grasping for anything that will save them. It's also why you rarely hear of the conversion story from somebody who's life was going well. It's almost as it when you're content with your life that believing in God or Jesus isn't really necessary.

But I'm also convinced that Mushbrain was sucking dick and taking it up the ass during that time and it's only since his come to Jesus moment that he transferred that love for dick into food.

Speculation is fun, but, when it comes to drugs, I must disagree. You need certain qualities like having friends, connections, a modicum of being personable. It's not rocket science, but you can't be stupid about it. You can't say "UM YEAH CAN I GET 3 ORDERS OF UHH, BLOWY JOEY, WHERE DO I SWIPE" when picking up. Jack strikes me as that kind of person.

I don't think Jack's ever had many friends, and what few he has had, I doubt they had connects. It's possible he's always wanted to try some hard stuff, and is really bitter about it, which further fuels his hatred for those that can get it. Also, something about his personality strikes me as being oddly anti-drug. I mean if you hate drugs, salut, but I think Jack would get all up on his high horse about the issue. Basically...him being a drug user? That's all speculation.

Far more likely, he was jerking off black dudes in bathhouses before his cum to Jesus moment.

 

[ContinentalButterchip]

He’s like that one Christ nut who thinks Starbucks hates Christians and will do anything for them to say Christmas. He such a dick to the workers. I hope get banned from Starbucks for that shit.

Confirming that if you do dumb shit like give me the name "Adolf Hitler" i tell you to get the fuck out or your drink gets called out by the item name, not yours.

 

[stets]

Jack’s Starbucks freak out is the epitome of stroke brain logic. Jack’s brilliant idea is telling total strangers that he’s Jesus to own them. First, you’re giving them your money, so as far as corporate goes, it’s mission accomplished. They will never hear about or care about your stunt, and even if they did, it wouldn’t make sense to them because it’s stroke logic. The people that work the counters won’t get it, and if they did, they won’t care and think you’re an autistic sped.

But let’s go back to what Jack’s doing - telling random people he’s Jesus. They’re going to think he’s an unhinged, schizophrenic nut job who literally thinks he’s Jesus Christ since that’s what people with functioning brains think in that situation. Everyone that works there will think he’s a literal insane person. Every time he comes in, the entire staff is going to be on their guard in case the lunatic human bowling ball finally loses it and becomes violent.

Jack thinks this is a victory. Complete and total stroke logic. Jack’s completely lost it.

 

[Hot Dog]

"Duhhh you said Jesus!"

-An Idiot

 

[Bisteca Toblerone]

Local Bowling League.
Jack "6-9 Split" Scalfani

View attachment 2811060

Jack looks deranged as fuck in this photo. Tammy somehow looks worse than she does now, which is impressive considering how she looks now. Man-ish is how I would describe her in this photo. Or at least like a teenage boy.

 

[Hot Dog]

Jack looks deranged as fuck in this photo. Tammy somehow looks worse than she does now, which is impressive considering how she looks now. Man-ish is how I would describe her in this photo. Or at least like a teenage boy.

She creeply looks like a fatter Tammy Jr... Soon to be just regular Tammy Jr. given her weight gain.

 

[Super Hans]

I don't think Jack's ever had many friends, and what few he has had, I doubt they had connects. It's possible he's always wanted to try some hard stuff, and is really bitter about it, which further fuels his hatred for those that can get it. Also, something about his personality strikes me as being oddly anti-drug. I mean if you hate drugs, salut, but I think Jack would get all up on his high horse about the issue. Basically...him being a drug user? That's all speculation.

You THINK Jack might be anti-drug? He almost fucking killed his own kid over doing a drug soft as weed. Sure, guys do some weird shit for the lady they're banging, but no way was he a hair's breadth from committing an unforgivable sin to get a crumb of some of the wretched pussy there is, which he probably hasn't even made use of since the Clinton administration.

 

[Trappin in the Trap]

Or at least like a teenage boy.

Barely tangentially related but Amberlynn Reid is somewhat notorious for having a thing for girls that kinda look like teenage boys. The bangs Tammy was rocking makes her bear a passing resemblance to Amber's first on-screen GF, Krystal.

 

[AnOminous]

You THINK Jack might be anti-drug? He almost fucking killed his own kid over doing a drug soft as weed.

Just because he did that to his own kid doesn't mean he wasn't a drug abusing piece of shit himself. Hypocrisy is Jack's first, middle and last name.

 

[captkrisma]

Another holiday tradition in many Starbucks is "paying it forward", the first person overpays and essentially pays for the next person in line. The idea is to keep people paying for the next guy until closing. Once the store closes for the night the remainder is split between the workers as tips.

The concept is great on paper, but in practice it almost always fails, you WILL get a guy who refuses to do it and says "hurrdurrr. Free dirty chai latte!" That guy is Jack Scalfani.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Another holiday tradition in many Starbucks is "paying it forward", the first person overpays and essentially pays for the next person in line. The idea is to keep people paying for the next guy until closing. Once the store closes for the night the remainder is split between the workers as tips.

The concept is great on paper, but in practice it almost always fails, you WILL get a guy who refuses to do it and says "hurrdurrr. Free dirty chai latte!" That guy is Jack Scalfani.

Uhhhh... Now that you mentioned it, I always did think it was weird why I kept getting free coffees every Christmas

Oh dear.

 

[AnOminous]

I didn't even know that because I don't go to Starcucks, if I want to do something for a homeless person I just hand him a couple bucks. Maybe he'll spend it on coffee, maybe he'll spend it on crack, I don't give a fuck, I'm not his fucking judge, I'm just a guy handing him a couple bucks.

Nobody who actually needs shit would be behind me in a line at Starsucks anyway. Just fucked-up pseudo-people like Jack Scalfani. I don't know. If I could buy a stroke for the person behind me in line maybe I'd go to Starcucks.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Jack’s Starbucks freak out is the epitome of stroke brain logic. Jack’s brilliant idea is telling total strangers that he’s Jesus to own them. First, you’re giving them your money, so as far as corporate goes, it’s mission accomplished. They will never hear about or care about your stunt, and even if they did, it wouldn’t make sense to them because it’s stroke logic. The people that work the counters won’t get it, and if they did, they won’t care and think you’re an autistic sped.

But let’s go back to what Jack’s doing - telling random people he’s Jesus. They’re going to think he’s an unhinged, schizophrenic nut job who literally thinks he’s Jesus Christ since that’s what people with functioning brains think in that situation. Everyone that works there will think he’s a literal insane person. Every time he comes in, the entire staff is going to be on their guard in case the lunatic human bowling ball finally loses it and becomes violent.

Jack thinks this is a victory. Complete and total stroke logic. Jack’s completely lost it.

Tu café con leche de soja está listo, señor Jesús. Just say it when his coffee is ready and see him seethe as we all know Jack is a racist and Jesús is a Spanish/Hispanic first name.

I didn't even know that because I don't go to Starcucks, if I want to do something for a homeless person I just hand him a couple bucks. Maybe he'll spend it on coffee, maybe he'll spend it on crack, I don't give a fuck, I'm not his fucking judge, I'm just a guy handing him a couple bucks.

Nobody who actually needs shit would be behind me in a line at Starsucks anyway. Just fucked-up pseudo-people like Jack Scalfani. I don't know. If I could buy a stroke for the person behind me in line maybe I'd go to Starcucks.

Never been in one too, I actually do not understand how people can even drink that swill. IMHO I'd rather drink a lukewarm Bud Light and I hate Light Beer with a passion.

 

[Dead Air]

Barely tangentially related but Amberlynn Reid is somewhat notorious for having a thing for girls that kinda look like teenage boys. The bangs Tammy was rocking makes her bear a passing resemblance to Amber's first on-screen GF, Krystal.

Amber's on screen GF Krystal looks a hell of a lot like a younger Tammy's on screen GF Jeanette.

 

[Rabid Weasels]

Local Bowling League.
Jack "6-9 Split" Scalfani

That underbite along with the partial retardation that was likely present at that time makes him look full on retarded. This Pic looks like a sped in a grouphome graduating from some occupational therapy course with his helper and now he is allowed to start mopping the hallways just like a real job

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

View attachment 2811724
Well, that’s one thing that will get you on the sex offender list, Jack.

How the fuck is Mushbrain going to pull his pants down with only one working arm? It would take him five minutes of fiddling with his belt, undoing his pants and pulling them down. And another 5 minutes of him pulling them back up. By that time they'd have taken a picture and used it to show the cops that he's engaging in public indecency.

Mushbrain talks a good game but he has zero follow through.

Jack’s Starbucks freak out is the epitome of stroke brain logic. Jack’s brilliant idea is telling total strangers that he’s Jesus to own them. First, you’re giving them your money, so as far as corporate goes, it’s mission accomplished. They will never hear about or care about your stunt, and even if they did, it wouldn’t make sense to them because it’s stroke logic. The people that work the counters won’t get it, and if they did, they won’t care and think you’re an autistic sped.

These evangelical types are all about stuff like that. It's like Joshua Fuerstein a couple years complaining about the holiday cups and making a video about using the name "Merry Christmas" as a way of them being forced to call it out because it wasn't on the cups.

It's fucking stupid is what it is. But this is the only kind of victory they're able to get so it's all they focus on.

 

[Trappin in the Trap]

How the fuck is Mushbrain going to pull his pants down with only one working arm? It would take him five minutes of fiddling with his belt, undoing his pants and pulling them down. And another 5 minutes of him pulling them back up. By that time they'd have taken a picture and used it to show the cops that he's engaging in public indecency.

Mushbrain talks a good game but he has zero follow through.


These evangelical types are all about stuff like that. It's like Joshua Fuerstein a couple years complaining about the holiday cups and making a video about using the name "Merry Christmas" as a way of them being forced to call it out because it wasn't on the cups.

It's fucking stupid is what it is. But this is the only kind of victory they're able to get so it's all they focus on.

Probably has a lot less to do with actual religious disposition and more to do with being bored and petty fuckers that have nothing to do besides mildly annoy chain coffee store employees in order to own some branding team that'll probably never hear about it. Jack would be the same type to tell them his name is "Trance Rites" or some shit and consider that a win.

 

[Ira the Weatherman]

It's more stupid when you remember this fat homo used to be a DJ.

In regular radio no less. A profession in which everyone above the level of a coffee fetching intern has at least a basic understanding of audio production. Jack's ineptitude knows no bounds.

Europeans hate Americans and they really hate Americans like Jack.

Americans in Europe actually tend to be model tourists. Most of them are pensioners or the more nerdy college kids, so they're usually well-mannered and unaccustomed/naive enough to pay top dollar for everything. The relative distance and level of interest that a European sight-seeing tour requires is enough to filter out the rubes like Jack who'd rather go to Disneyland, so that leaves a higher quality demographic to make the trip. Same concept applies the other way around as well, I doubt you'll see a lot of beer-swilling Norf FC types at the Grand Canyon either.

The tourists Europeans hate the most are other Europeans.

jack is the literal embodiment of the stereotypical american

fat, redneck, unintelligent, uncultured, conservative, and "christian"

He's like a unholy combination of the worst qualities of a archetypal redneck and those of a coastie urbanite, with none of their strengths. He's got the Bible-thumping bigotry of a stereotypical rural Christian man, but none of the masculinity, work ethic and small town neighborliness you might also associate with such a person. Instead he's an effete manchild consoomer with none of the worldliness, savvy and tolerance a Southern Californian would prize himself on either.

Never been in one too, I actually do not understand how people can even drink that swill.

It's mostly dumb kids who value the brand and fat fucks like Jack who want to guzzle 3,000 calorie syrup smoothies masquerading as coffee.