FatBoyGetDown / Steven John Assanti - MASSIVELY Overweight Leech, Proud Useless Asshole, Reality TV "Star", Still not dead via Fat.

[MetalParakeet]

On the topic of how they'd cremate or bury him...

When I worked at a hospital with a morgue (my current hospital doesn't have one), I used to do morgue calls. My coworkers would always pass those off onto me because I had experience with autopsies and shit in university, so it didn't gross me out.

Anyway this one time, I get into work and get a morgue call. Immediately everyone is like "oh hell no, metalparakeet is doing it." Even though I typically did them anyway, I was suspicious by how everyone recoiled and absolutely refused instead of just asking me if I minded taking over like they usually did.

So whatever. I go down all cautious and low and behold, there's a dude a bit thinner than Asanti laying out in the open. And I could immediately tell by the smell that he had probably been outside the freezer for the majority of my 3 days off work.

He didn't fit in the regular freezers and the double wide had two bodies. Since it was a holiday weekend, none of the bodies were really being picked up fast enough so they had no choice but to just let the dude sit there outside the freezer.

So let's hope Steven's hospital is a bit better equipped

 

[A Series Of Tubes]

On the topic of how they'd cremate or bury him...

When I worked at a hospital with a morgue (my current hospital doesn't have one), I used to do morgue calls. My coworkers would always pass those off onto me because I had experience with autopsies and shit in university, so it didn't gross me out.

Anyway this one time, I get into work and get a morgue call. Immediately everyone is like "oh hell no, metalparakeet is doing it." Even though I typically did them anyway, I was suspicious by how everyone recoiled and absolutely refused instead of just asking me if I minded taking over like they usually did.

So whatever. I go down all cautious and low and behold, there's a dude a bit thinner than Asanti laying out in the open. And I could immediately tell by the smell that he had probably been outside the freezer for the majority of my 3 days off work.

He didn't fit in the regular freezers and the double wide had two bodies. Since it was a holiday weekend, none of the bodies were really being picked up fast enough so they had no choice but to just let the dude sit there outside the freezer.

So let's hope Steven's hospital is a bit better equipped

Jesus christ, you poor bastard. That's some real nightmare fuel.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

It's actually far cheaper than cremation because it doesn't require massive amounts of fuel. The hydrochloride does most of the work while the pressure cooker speeds up the process by heating and forcing the chemical constantly deeper into the body.
I know you're just shitposting but this is a topic I enjoy.

If it costs a single $ beyond how much it costs to heave his ass there it's too expensive.

Interesting nonetheless.

 

[Attractive Sexhaver]

Prayer Warriors! I know we've all had a tough year this year, but I need us all to pull together and prayer for our good friend Steven.
He's currently sitting in hospital with pneumonia. The news isn't good: even though he's a deathly fat drug addict, the doctors have gotten pretty good at treating covid. There's a very real chance he will pull through and make a swift recovery.

As weak as this disease may be, we all know Jesus is Lord, and if we all pray for his swift death, I just know Steven can die choking on his own vomit before 2021 is over, surrounded by people who openly despise him and celebrate his death.

1 like = 1 prayer for this fat POS swift death.

 

[Zebedee]

Better still. Go all "Gilbert Grape" and just burn down the house with him in it. The fat alone would keep that fire going for at least 2-3 days until literally nothing was left of him.

I think the global warming experts would have something to say about that one.

 

[thisighuf]

I remember watching a couple videos of this guy over a year ago where he uses the ambulance as some taxi because he runs out of painkiller meds and Dr Now threatened to get police involved while he kept telling him how he'll cry to the news media, There was another video where he and his brother Justin who's also big were driven by his dad and kept having his dad stop every hour or so to get him more food, Just think the amount of food he eats could feed an entire country in Africa.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Is this stupid landwhale dead yet?

 

[Nointey]

Local Pizza sales will decline with his death...

 

[AnOminous]

I remember watching a couple videos of this guy over a year ago where he uses the ambulance as some taxi because he runs out of painkiller meds and Dr Now threatened to get police involved while he kept telling him how he'll cry to the news media, There was another video where he and his brother Justin who's also big were driven by his dad and kept having his dad stop every hour or so to get him more food, Just think the amount of food he eats could feed an entire country in Africa.

I remember one time I think he was in the hospital or something and they wouldn't bring him more food and he literally started screaming unintelligible gibberish like a fucking newborn infant. I have rarely wanted to see someone just shot more, or at the very least slapped around like a little bitch.

 

[Sweetpeaa]

Cawwwwfin to a Cawwwwfin (New England accent)

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

I remember one time I think he was in the hospital or something and they wouldn't bring him more food and he literally started screaming unintelligible gibberish like a fucking newborn infant. I have rarely wanted to see someone just shot more, or at the very least slapped around like a little bitch.

I sometimes wonder if we should pass a law which allows these people to be involuntarily committed and sent to fat camps where they're made to adopt a healthy lifestyle. People would probably moan about civil liberties, but these rotund monstrosities are clearly antisocial addicts, and society would obviously be far better off if the rest of us didn't have to deal with their nonsense.

 

[thisighuf]

I remember one time I think he was in the hospital or something and they wouldn't bring him more food and he literally started screaming unintelligible gibberish like a fucking newborn infant. I have rarely wanted to see someone just shot more, or at the very least slapped around like a little bitch.

The same video where he cries about sitting in his shit and piss for half an hour and screams nigger at one of the staff while also on the phone?

 

[Coelacanth]

Just went through the entire thread. I am now extremely fucking thankful I won the metabolism lottery and that I do weightlifting. Pretty sure I almost ended up puking at the unholy videos and pictures posted in this thread.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Tammy made it through coof at 650 lbs. Jen made it through at 600 (and 47 years old.)

If it was March 2020, he’d be dead; they all would have, but now he’ll get his antibodies and be back to assholing around.

Coof isn’t dangerous anymore. For a second we had a beautiful dream of a world without deathfats, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

A big silver lining with Covid was the idea that the lolcows would get it and would finally get some comeuppance.

Didn't happen.

Even Lucas Werner got it, and nothing happened to him.

 

[Blood Bath & Beyond]

Shame what seems to be astonishgly good genes were wasted on this guy.

If he were just lolfat sure but he's also a junkie and some of the things opioids cause are fluid retention in the lungs and respiratory problems.

And that's without Covid.

Junkies are almost indestructible tbh. Their only kryptonite is untreated hepatitis, fentanyl-laced overdose and sometimes murder, otherwise they tend to be incredibly resilient.

 

[eDove]

Just went through the entire thread. I am now extremely fucking thankful I won the metabolism lottery and that I do weightlifting. Pretty sure I almost ended up puking at the unholy videos and pictures posted in this thread.

Tell us more about your hot body.

 

[Candida Auris]

The same video where he cries about sitting in his shit and piss for half an hour and screams nigger at one of the staff while also on the phone?

Not going to lie that was hilarious. He's obnoxious as hell, but I think there is a lot of nurses/ caregivers that need a good screaming at.

 

[make_it_so]

Better still. Go all "Gilbert Grape" and just burn down the house with him in it. The fat alone would keep that fire going for at least 2-3 days until literally nothing was left of him.

That would seem like a horrible waste of valuable hydrocarbons.

 

[Coelacanth]

Tell us more about your hot body.

It's over 40 degrees Celsius baby.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Opiate withdrawal makes you feel like dying but doesn't usually kill. The stress to his body would probably end him though.

He doesn't have the willpower to go through that. Just look at the size of him. He doesn't even have the willpower to stop eating and to lose weight. How is he going to deal with about 72 hours of deep down body pain, where your very bones ache, you can't sleep, your head feels like it's going to explode and the sluices are open at both ends?

He'd be back on the pills in a heart beat.