Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Pump Meat]

Need help translating this. For some reason he makes a non-sensical Dune reference and is saying space trillionaires are forcing women to have babies
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I'll try my best.

Let me tell you where we are in the story so far

This is Lucas telling you our contemporary world is comparable to Dune.

Space Trillionaires from Arrakis Dune

Middle Class people whom Lucas mistakes for the global elite

Where they force women to have babies

The suppression of the age-gap love thesis is tricking women into conceiving children with people similar in age and socio-economic class (e.g. Flatbill pimps and wealthy Capitalists).

I think maybe this might be a reference to the bene gesserit and Lucas simply doesn’t recognize his own thoughts about careful breeding.

In the middle of a plague

COVID, but unsure what the parallel in Dune could be. It isn’t like Lucas is reading the series.

And instead of doing anything about it

Women with no memory of 9/11 because they weren’t even born yet sleeping with men who have detailed memories of the late 80s.

The former aristocracy of kiss asses

Men with Discover cards who drive Ford Escapes from within the last 4 years

Tell you to calm down

People telling him not to get worked up over not having sex with teenagers.

And also to get mad about it

Probably other progressive activists telling him to get upset at social and economic injustices, but don’t recognize his obsession with intergenerational love as being sane nor relevant.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I think they said he got about a year over there, not sure ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the question is, will this thread die out before the cow is free? or will it die in captivity?

It will be interesting to see, I’m sure given the boredom and frustration Lucas must be craving the attention podcasts can give him as well as the break it provides from his daily monotony. But sooner or later there won’t be much more to milk out of him with no new sagas coming out of Mallon. I would like to see Skeletor and Mrz Parker hold Lucas to account on his self-improvement claims if they get him back on, that would be hilarious.

It’s a good question though, I almost wonder if this thread went quiet would Lucas start to do things to get the attention back? I think he would.

 

[Pump Meat]

So, the cow has been at Mallon Place for 4 months now and has been on about his feet that need to heal due to "too much walking". What are everyone's thoughts for Summer time? Like I have said, Lucas does not have the ability to say "the rent is too damn high" and then move out and stay at the bus depot. His handlers would not approve that.

Will he still be in Mallon Place over the summer? I think he may be stuck there for a while. They are not going to help him find an apartment. Mallon Place does not care, so long as the tugboats reach the pier every month.

My best guess is that once the season turns and the weather is more tolerable, Lucas will return to the streets. He’ll probably look for some kind of pretext to blow up his relationship with Mallon Place, but failing to find one, he’ll simply leave.

Back on the streets, we’ll witness a mini-crisis where he won’t have access to money for a few months that will give us a sharp arc in e-begging coupled with suicide baiting. Eventually Lucas will scrape by and when summer gets into full swing, he’ll be back to blowing all his money on food and weed.

When winter begins to return, Lucas will go back to a psychiatric unit with suicidal ideation and some poor social worker will be tasked with finding him shelter.

 

[Tard Police]

The Mallon Saga is a frustrating mixed bag. On the one hand I genuinely miss watching him lose his shit about his usual fixations and regularly make an ass out of himself in public. On the other, as we've said plenty of times, he's a dangerous mentally deranged derelict stalker pedo who needs to be tucked away from polite society for the rest of his days. I would have never guessed he'd last this long there and every day I'm still surprised he hasn't found a way to fuck it up yet. I'm starting to think he might be there a while.

He's bound to fuck it up though. Summer will be here before you know it. Spokane's zoomer baes will be out in slutty clothes minding their own business, and the notorious Starbucks sex pest will come out of hibernation to lurk on them from afar. Lucas is too egregious and predatory of a cow to just slip into obscurity. Old habits die hard.

 

[Da Dude123]

My best guess is that once the season turns and the weather is more tolerable, Lucas will return to the streets. He’ll probably look for some kind of pretext to blow up his relationship with Mallon Place, but failing to find one, he’ll simply leave.

Back on the streets, we’ll witness a mini-crisis where he won’t have access to money for a few months that will give us a sharp arc in e-begging coupled with suicide baiting. Eventually Lucas will scrape by and when summer gets into full swing, he’ll be back to blowing all his money on food and weed.

When winter begins to return, Lucas will go back to a psychiatric unit with suicidal ideation and some poor social worker will be tasked with finding him shelter.

That is a plenty good theory. However, if he just up and leaves Mallon Place not sure his payee will just stop sending Mallon Place money and okay him returning to full hobo status. I could be wrong, but I am not sure Lucas has the autonomy to just say he doesn't want to be at Mallon Place anymore.

The payee has to try to make sure Lucas has housing. He does right now and the payee most likely cannot just authorize a return to the bus depot. Lucas would probably have to get evicted, which he is an expert at. Maybe he will do so? Lucas only thinks of the present. Right now, right now, right now, right now!

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I liked how the other three are in these decorated rooms, and Lucas is just in a white void of nothing.

 

[mothman96]

That is a plenty good theory. However, if he just up and leaves Mallon Place not sure his payee will just stop sending Mallon Place money and okay him returning to full hobo status. I could be wrong, but I am not sure Lucas has the autonomy to just say he doesn't want to be at Mallon Place anymore.

The payee has to try to make sure Lucas has housing. He does right now and the payee most likely cannot just authorize a return to the bus depot. Lucas would probably have to get evicted, which he is an expert at. Maybe he will do so? Lucas only thinks of the present. Right now, right now, right now, right now!

I don't think his payee has the authority to keep him at Mallon Place. She is entrusted to manage his check, see that what ever bills he has get paid. I do think the Pedo Creep can if he wants to, pack up his hobo bag and leave Mallon Place.

ETA:
What is keeping him at Mallon Place is he has no other place to live.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

I could be wrong, but I am not sure Lucas has the autonomy to just say he doesn't want to be at Mallon Place anymore.

You can't force someone to live where they don't want to. He's not on involuntary hold for his or others' safety. I suppose his SSI could be cut off eventually for not attempting to find housing and using shelters, but he's gone this far.

 

[mothman96]

You can't force someone to live where they don't want to. He's not on involuntary hold for his or others' safety. I suppose his SSI could be cut off eventually for not attempting to find housing and using shelters, but he's gone this far.

It was Frontier Behavioral Health that place Lucas at Mallon Place. Would the doctors in charge of his treatment at FBH be able to keep him at Mallon Place?

ETA:
He was at the Frontier Behavioral Health mental hospitals for about a month, released and he was out for like a 5 days and went right back to Calispel for "stabilization".

 

[Da Dude123]

I don't think his payee has the authority to keep him at Mallon Place. She is entrusted to manage his check, see that what ever bills he has get paid. I do think the Pedo Creep can if he wants to, pack up his hobo bag and leave Mallon Place.

ETA:
What is keeping him at Mallon Place is he has no other place to live.

I was thinking that in general one of the responsibilities of a payee is to make sure the person who they are in charge of has basic needs met, including housing, to the best of their resources. Now, before this, Lucas probably legit had nowhere else in the area he could live. His admission to the hospital where he was taken away while screaming like a banshee at the bus depot, qualified him for Mallon Place.

Now that he is in Mallon Place and has housing and food and medical care, the payee I am thinking would not be able to authorize Lucas leaving there without proving he has a legitimate place to live that is not a hobo shelter, bus terminal, or some squatter house. Now, if Lucas is evicted, then that is another story.

Maybe I am wrong on this. But having a payee means Lucas does not know or is able to determine what is best for him. Whereas he would ditch having stable housing and leave Mallon Place to have money for dinners at Clinkerdaggers and the Steam Plant. I would think the payee would have to not allow that. Maybe it is not at all like that?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas changed his YouTube "about" page, you know, the one about fucking your 18-year-old daughter, sir? The one he claimed was so funny during the Mrs Parker/ outcast owls /Klick interview? Not that this is much better? And also, old habits die hard, obviously, but I thought he wasn't focusing on dating anymore? So much for making changes, huh? (Also, walking up to a girl and calling her clothing stunning makes you sound like gay, Lucas. But I suppose gay is better than pedo)

 

[mothman96]

I was thinking that in general one of the responsibilities of a payee is to make sure the person who they are in charge of has basic needs met, including housing, to the best of their resources. Now, before this, Lucas probably legit had nowhere else in the area he could live. His admission to the hospital where he was taken away while screaming like a banshee at the bus depot, qualified him for Mallon Place.

Now that he is in Mallon Place and has housing and food and medical care, the payee I am thinking would not be able to authorize Lucas leaving there without proving he has a legitimate place to live that is not a hobo shelter, bus terminal, or some squatter house. Now, if Lucas is evicted, then that is another story.

Maybe I am wrong on this. But having a payee means Lucas does not know or is able to determine what is best for him. Whereas he would ditch having stable housing and leave Mallon Place to have money for dinners at Clinkerdaggers and the Steam Plant. I would think the payee would have to not allow that. Maybe it is not at all like that?

If the payee was responsible for his housing, she would have been responsible to find him housing after he was kicked out Pioneer Pathway. The payee's responsibility is to manage his check and see that his bills are paid.

Lucas changed his YouTube "about" page, you know, the one about fucking your 18-year-old daughter, sir? The one he claimed was so funny during the Mrs Parker/ outcast owls /Klick interview? Not that this is much better? And also, old habits die hard, obviously, but I thought he wasn't focusing on dating anymore? So much for making changes, huh? (Also, walking up to a girl and calling her clothing stunning makes you sound like gay, Lucas. But I suppose gay is better than pedo)

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In the OutcastOwls stream the Pedo told Mrz Parker he had actually gone up to a young woman and complimented her on her dress. The young woman thanked him.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

In the OutcastOwls stream the Pedo told Mrz Parker he had actually gone up to a young woman and complimented her on her dress. The young woman thanked him.

If Lucas complimented a woman's clothing, that just means it was revealing. If the girl thanked him, that just means she wanted to end the interaction and get away from him as quickly as possible. Assuming it's true, which...

 

[mothman96]

If Lucas complimented a woman's clothing, that just means it was revealing. If the girl thanked him, that just means she wanted to end the interaction and get away from him as quickly as possible. Assuming it's true, which...

I think if the greasy hobo had approached a young woman and complimented her on her dress, she would have been creeped out and walked off.

 

[SteveGoatman]

Lucas changed his YouTube "about" page, you know, the one about fucking your 18-year-old daughter, sir? The one he claimed was so funny during the Mrs Parker/ outcast owls /Klick interview? Not that this is much better? And also, old habits die hard, obviously, but I thought he wasn't focusing on dating anymore? So much for making changes, huh? (Also, walking up to a girl and calling her clothing stunning makes you sound like gay, Lucas. But I suppose gay is better than pedo)

View attachment 2920243

Sad to see the market for Wern videos appears to have taken a downturn. Didn't it used to cost $50? Or 30 once he realized nobody was buying it?

 

[Wernology]

I think if the greasy hobo had approached a young woman and complimented her on her dress, she would have been creeped out and walked off.

I love that, given that it's Lucas, most of us pictured his about page scenario as him just walking up to some random woman on the street (and not specifically in a bar) and went with, "STUNNING DRESS, may I buy you a drink my name is Lucas hi!"

 

[WonderWino]

You can't force someone to live where they don't want to. He's not on involuntary hold for his or others' safety. I suppose his SSI could be cut off eventually for not attempting to find housing and using shelters, but he's gone this far.

You can when the place in question is a nursing home. All residents of nursing homes are wards of the state, which both makes them responsible for what happens to you and changes the rules about what they can and can't do quite a bit. This situation isn't like lucas living at a shelter or an apartment. He doesn't have certain rights as a nursing home resident. Its the same reason elderly residents who don't want to be there can't just say they want to leave

By the same token, they can't just up and kick him out over something minor. There is a review process and a legal threshold involved that requires him to be considered a legal liability or a threat. Which is why, if he chimps out, deliberately or otherwise, there are other steps they have to take before kicking him out is on the table - for example, forcing him to accept a personal guard that follows him around and keeps him out of trouble like a dementia patient. Should he get stupid and chimp out at that point, he doesn't get kicked out, he gets arrested and his medication mandated to a higher dose. and will stay incarcerated until a dose that keeps him docile and out of trouble is determined, even if that means making him a walking zombie

To put it simply, if lucas tries to get himself kicked out he's just going to turn his life into a living hell compared to what it is now. Though the idea of zombie lucas doing the thorazine shuffle up and down the same hallway all day, followed by a zoomer security guard watching his every move is hilarious. That scenario pretty much means the end of content producing lucas

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Need help translating this. For some reason he makes a non-sensical Dune reference and is saying space trillionaires are forcing women to have babies
View attachment 2918874

Just a reminder that this is what Lucas comes up with while he's ON his meds.

Taking into account all the benefits/services he is getting at Mallon Place he should not be complaining about the $744 taken out of his check every month. Not only does he have a roof over his head (+utilities), there is kitchen staff to provide him daily with 3 meals (+second servings), + snacks. He has cleaning service and laundry service, transportation service to medical appt. all included.

How much would we have to pay for those extra services. Have someone come in to do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry.

Lucas doesn't have ground to complain, yes. But places like Mallon basically going "oh how much do you get in welfare? oh perfect, we cost that -$50" is kind of sketchy.

That being said with someone like Lucas who has zero money saving or proper budgeting skills, its a good fit.
I mean he burned through his stimulus check in under a week...

Lucas changed his YouTube "about" page, you know, the one about fucking your 18-year-old daughter, sir? The one he claimed was so funny during the Mrs Parker/ outcast owls /Klick interview? Not that this is much better? And also, old habits die hard, obviously, but I thought he wasn't focusing on dating anymore? So much for making changes, huh? (Also, walking up to a girl and calling her clothing stunning makes you sound like gay, Lucas. But I suppose gay is better than pedo)

View attachment 2920243

You could tell by his facial reactions that all the lecturing he was getting about age gap relationships was going in one ear and out the other.
Especially the weirdo doubt-y face he gave when Mrz Parker was saying that the best sex is when you're in your 30's.

 

[Wernology]

Especially the weirdo doubt-y face he gave when Mrz Parker was saying that the best sex is when you're in your 30's.

Probably because Lucas' dry spell after his last girlfriend kicked him out started in his 30s.

Lucas has had no sex in his 30s.

 

[WonderWino]

One thing I forgot to mention is that these days pretty much all nursing homes have both unit entrance doors and main building entrance doors that are auto locking and require a keycode to open and leave the unit or building. So even if lucas wanted to psych himself up to a ragequit and walk out the door like he would at the shelter or whatever he couldn't leave without permission and staff assistance. So a ragequit waddling into the streets of spokane isn't on the table even if he wanted to. It would just get him forcibly sedated and conditions made more restrictive if he tried that route