Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[CryptoHermit]

JUST WOKE UP TO THIS KILLSTREAM HALL OF FAME MOMEMT LMAO

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

This shit happens to American tourists all the time in all the big european cities because theyre so loud and naive and make it very well known they have a lot of money, my bet is someone came up to him to sell him drugs, told him to follow him down somewhere and then, boom, jumped, thats how it normally goes.

I figure he was trying to drunkenly score coke. Some Arab gave him a sales pitch but being the savvy man he is he insisted on following the guy to “the source” down a dark alley and probably did some other stupid shit in a foolish attempt to not get ripped off by a obvious scammer. Ralphamale is street smart after all. Once he realized Ralph wouldn’t just give him some money for a crushed aspirin he decided to forcibly relieve Ralphamale of his purse and money.

All speculations aside, the very fact that this happened is great.
Normal person would be humbled or learn something. Brain fried narcissist can only double down.
Here's to more funny happenings.

The best part is he now has to survive a few more days in Lisbon, and try and navigate his way back to Virginia without cash or his credit cards, with a ground hamburger face and significant pain. I figure Neigh is going to heading down to Western Union or some shit today.

He needs to be canceling all his CC stat which is always fun when you don’t have the account number or the specific international emergency number for your particular card type. Given that Ralph’s credit is shit I figure he lost a debit card and a prepaid CC, so he might be double fucked.

Dealing with luggage, airport waits, the plane ride, etc…after a severe ass beating is going to be a special kind of hell. Getting a positive covid test at the airport and having to quarantine in Lisbon for another ten days would be a fitting finale

 

[Mask_de_SMITH]

Ralph fucked around and found out. Did he get mugged like the official story? Did his attempt to hire a hooker go wrong? Did he try to buy drugs from the wrong people? Did he chimpout at the bar last night?

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1486513025372889090

Ethan Ralph on Twitter: "Well, I've definitely got to experience Port…

archived 27 Jan 2022 01:52:34 UTC

archive.md

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THEY GOT THE MANPURSE:
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Flew to Portugal to own someone for petty reasons, only to get your ass beat.

THAT'LL SHOW ANDY WARSKI!

 

[fuck whales]

How the fuck do you even get mugged in Lissabon? Last time I was there, I was stupid enough to leave my bag in the bus. Some mulatto guy asked the bus to stop, held my bag outside so I could retrieve it and then they drove along.


Yeah, and the difference is that lissabon despite being a capital is a pretty quiet city. Rome has some of the most skilled pickpockets you'll find anywhere and some type of illegal market stand every 3 meters with lookouts. Italians also view stealing almost like an admirable art sometimes. Getting something stolen from you in lissabon is like getting something stolen from you in Maine, or Vermont. It takes serious skill to manage that.

for real, Ive been to Portugal more times than I can count, Portugal is fucking great, its almost impossible to find trouble there.

 

[Disheveled Human]

It's funny that Ralph is so retarded he got his ass beat in one of the safest Southern European countries. Portugal is classed as level 1 by the OSAC, which is the safest classification. For reference, Italy is a 4. Most of what I've read says the only dangerous places are obviously the migrant areas at night, but this is also where a lot of good restaurants are, so people still go there during the day. The only other things mentioned are the red light district and drug dealers commonly ripping tourists off with fake drugs and the big nightlife scene which can be overwhelming if you're not careful. So I would bet Ralph either

a) Retardedly went to a "diverse" neighborhood to get some food at night which absolutely no one else does. The danger of this is compounded by the fact that he's the only American in Lisbon right now.

b) Tried to buy coke and got sold baking soda and tried to act tough to some Eurotrash dealer.

c) Got into a fight with a hooker and her brothel security when she denied service upon the horrific reveal of his gunt.

d) He got too rowdy in a bar somewhere.

Working Together to Protect U.S. Organizations Overseas

OSAC is a partnership between the U.S. State Department and private-sector security community that enables the safe operations of U.S. organizations overseas through threat alerts, analysis, and peer network groups.

www.osac.gov

Crime, Safety and Pickpocketing in Lisbon

Is Lisbon safe or a dangerous city? The most common safety questions and areas to avoid in Lisbon, Portugal.

www.lisbonportugaltourism.com

It is definitely not a "safe" country, look at what happened to Ralph in 3 days. I have heard many stories from my family about how fucked up Lisbon is its really not safe I would rather spend the night out on the streets of italy. Pulling government charts up with there fucked up rating system just isn't reality. Lots of drug addicts and poor people looking for marks in that city.

 

[fuck whales]

It is definitely not a "safe" country, look at what happened to Ralph in 3 days. I have heard many stories from my family about how fucked up Lisbon is its really not safe I would rather spend the night out on the streets of italy. Pulling government charts up with there fucked up rating system just isn't reality. Lots of drug addicts and poor people looking for marks in that city.

it is safe if youre not retarded

 

[Jasper2K]

Lmao good. Ended the way we hoped

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

i can imagine this is how it went.

 

[Shig O'nella]

isn't medical cost actually reasonable in europe, it likely wont net him more than a few hundred?

I was viciously attacked by a mountain in Switzerland three years ago. Clean up, one stitch, and a precautionary X-ray ran me something like £150.

 

[Venkataraman]

Ralph fucked around and found out. Did he get mugged like the official story? Did his attempt to hire a hooker go wrong? Did he try to buy drugs from the wrong people? Did he chimpout at the bar last night?

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1486513025372889090

Ethan Ralph on Twitter: "Well, I've definitely got to experience Port…

archived 27 Jan 2022 01:52:34 UTC

archive.md

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THEY GOT THE MANPURSE:
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Sometimes the YouTube algorithm is just too perfect…I genuinely did not photoshop this ahahaha

 

[Disheveled Human]

it is safe if youre not retarded

Well no fucking shit most people are not retarded but for people who are like Ralph its bad news. Still I'm glad Ralph went and tested it out. He hit the jackpot.

 

[Rotollo 2]

The Ralphamale gets RalphaRobbed. LMAO

 

[Telemeter]

Why would he chase guy that tired to Rob him ? What fucking idiot smh

He's lying, he didn't chase anyone down, lol.

He either picked a fight or just resisted getting mugged.

 

[Penis]

Ralph fucked around and found out. Did he get mugged like the official story? Did his attempt to hire a hooker go wrong? Did he try to buy drugs from the wrong people? Did he chimpout at the bar last night?

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1486513025372889090

Ethan Ralph on Twitter: "Well, I've definitely got to experience Port…

archived 27 Jan 2022 01:52:34 UTC

archive.md

View attachment 2923734
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THEY GOT THE MANPURSE:
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Please tell me its the louis vuitton bag

 

[theshep]

Remember when Princess Micheal of Kent wore a Moor brooch when she was meeting Meghan Markle? Lmao. I do.

Fucking BASED.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

it is safe if youre not retarded

Most people would have no problem. Ralph walked around with his wigger label clothing, late at night, drunk, looking to score either drugs or whores. You will get robbed almost anywhere doing stupid shit like that.

 

[fuck whales]

Well no fucking shit most people are not retarded but for people who are like Ralph its bad news. Still I'm glad Ralph went and tested it out. He hit the jackpot.

Quite, Im pretty sure if I was retarded I could get the same thing happen to me in New York or any american city.

 

[Ero]

Dumb question, how dangerous is Portugal compared to western countries?

Like 2x less dangerous than your average 95+% american white suburb.

 

[Eternal Struggler]

"SÉRGIO AH NEED BACKUP, WE GOTTA BEAT UP THESE BASTARDS SERGIO WHERE ARE YOU HELP HELP HELP HE-"

 

[Broken PigPigPig]

Teeth caved in, mapache eyes, probable skull fracture, and who knows what damage the gunt sustained? Shanking? New hematomas making the last ones look like a joke? Keep at it, King.