Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[AltisticRight]

There's no way his fat ass chased down the guy and then fought 4 guys. Fighting is exhausting, no way he could do that after running after a guy. Real life ain't Family Guy

He tumbled down the steep streets and knocked those pesky immigrants over like bowling pins.

Things I would like to hear out of this disgrace of a human.

-I was wrong.
-Maybe I need to slow down and re-evaluate things
-I have just been really fucked up lately and am thinking of counseling
-Now that my kid with May will be coming any day now I need to focus on my show and family, It's not fair to them
-Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom to realize that things are bad and moving forward I will try my hardest to do what is right for not only me but my family and fans who I let down.

Things you would actually hear.
- I was fighting beyond what's considered reasonable, against 4 6'5'' violent immigrant Muslims
- All these a-logs do is moralise and mock me, I never moralise
- 5-star days are the only days I am having
- AFPACIII and Bowling event, babeeee!
- When my enemies go low, I go lower. (None of your enemies are 5'1'')

 

[Sneeds_Sniggerly]

-Best internet fwiend bails on trip at the last minute
-Stuck eating fast food because of vaccine requirements
-Can't do sightseeing because climbing hills is too physically taxing
-Get robbed and beaten
-Lose prized man purse
-Have to be hospitalized and have surgery in a foreign country, for which he might have a huge bill for
-Have facial injuries that will probably never heal right
-99% of the Internet's reaction to a brutal beating is "lol and additionally lmao"
-Can't go home because injuries might cause a stroke on the plane
-Have a Karen meltdown at the hotel because of vaccine requirements
-Favorite team blows chance at going to the Super Bowl
-Probably lose a ton of money due to betting like a homer
-Unable to be support pregnant (?) girlfriend as she nears childbirth

Man, I didn't think it was possible for Andy Warski to get this badly owned, the Spite Flight operation was clearly a rousing success

Ralph, please! STOP! Warski can't take any more! PPP is about to hang himself!

You know, Ralph not being able to eat solid food for a while may cause him to loose more weight than anyone else in the weight lost contest.

 

[chris driver]

Ralph fucked around and found out. Did he get mugged like the official story? Did his attempt to hire a hooker go wrong? Did he try to buy drugs from the wrong people? Did he chimpout at the bar last night?

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1486513025372889090

Ethan Ralph on Twitter: "Well, I've definitely got to experience Port…

archived 27 Jan 2022 01:52:34 UTC

archive.md

View attachment 2923734
View attachment 2923741
THEY GOT THE MANPURSE:
View attachment 2923787

lmao, he got pwned...
i bet that he just had a chimpout at a bar, and he just said it was a robbery in order to avoid embarassment.
plus, a fat guy like him couldnt possibly fight against one guy, let alone 4 guys at once, as he claims.

 

[PaladinBoo]

Oh God, I keep thinking about that Bengals vs Chiefs game and how much money Ralph probably lost. I am guessing that he probably spent several hundred if not close to a thousand dollars on that championship game thinking that the Chiefs would win it and Ralph would live like a king and go on another trip to Vegas to escape his horse bride. Between that and the hospital bill Ralph is in some serious financial trouble.

 

[InwardsStink]

Or the final boss of the Bloodborne DLC, Corn-phan of Kos?

View attachment 2936546
This one managed to get his bag back tho. He's so skinny because that pink shit is his gunt. Makes a fine weapon against 14 yr old tranny prostitutes and thuggish moors.

Assuming the pregnancy is real you would be more accurate in portraying Xandrina as the Orphan. I present to you a prediction of the childbirth if god forbid it is real.

Bloodborne™ - Orphan of Kos - The Old Hunters DLC - Cutscene

Prepare to see the battle, after this cuscene is uploaded, damn this guy is hard, it must be the son of Sephiroth or something. :P

www.youtube.com

 

[AltisticRight]

The a-logs visit Vegas every week, Kino Kasino is the hottest event. Ralph Eternally felted.
Andy and Ashton made over $1000 from the other day's Kino Kasino, this doesn't include their new subscription service and no doubt upcoming membership, if YouTube is with the House.

Each time Ethan visits a casino, he will be reminded of the finger guns and diapers of peace, truly horrifying, especially when his allegedly pregnant stallion is in its paedophile stall. Remember, Ralph never moralise.

Here's a clip of Ralph running. Tell me how this guy can chase after anyone/anything.
Reminder that Failure is 6'5'' and over 300 pounds, he was also drinking heavily. Winning a "race" against an impaired person isn't an achievement.

If a Bidoof manifested itself from the new Pokémon game and took his murse, he wouldn't be able to get it back.
If he depended on dismantling tumbleweed to re-acquire his man purse, he would be outran and soon die to his pill-induced nightmares.

I have a new thread title proposition:
Pig's Porktugal Pillgrimage

 

[Cherenkovblue]

View attachment 2936669View attachment 2936670

This is the part where I really need @KillAllPedos to make an Ethan Ralph soundboard...

Smells Like Faith's Butthole​

Load up on drugs, berate your friends
They're fun to abuse and to pretend
They mean anything to you at all
But losing them is best of all

Go low, go low, go low (How low?)
Go low, go low, go low (How low?)
Go low, go low, go low (How low?)
Go low, go low, go low

With the stream on, I'm cantankerous
Here I am now, utterly blameless
I feel stupid but I'm dangerous
Here I am now, harassing natives
A mulatto, and his sister, got my ass kicked
Yeah! Hey!

I'm worst at what I do best
Which is try desperately to impress
A bunch of speds, they're pissed, oh no
Where did all my paypiggies go?

Oh no, oh no, oh no (OH NO!)
Oh no, oh no, oh no (OH NO!)
Oh no, oh no, oh no (OH NO!)
Oh no, oh no, oh no

Now I'm offstream, still cantankerous
Here I am now, still fucking blameless
Even though I got my ass kicked
By some midgets who stole my manbag
Now I look like I was molested!
Yeah! Hey!

And I forget just what I said
Too many pills (and being inbred)
Gotta grift these speds for bucks for sure
Got too many bills and there's always more

There's more, there's more, there's more (always more)
There's more, there's more, there's more (always more)
There's more, there's more, there's more (always more)
There's more, there's more, there's more

So I'm banging a transvestite
What's the problem? So she's got a face
like a cattle. Who wouldn't want to own
Mr. Ed, yo? Off to the races!
I'm not coping. I'm not coping. I'm not coping. I'm not coping.
In denial. In denial. In denial. In denial. In denial.
In denial. In denial. In denial. In denial.

 

[ANiggaNamedElmo]

This is the part where I really need @KillAllPedos to make an Ethan Ralph soundboard...

Smells Like Faith's Butthole​

Load up on drugs, berate your friends
They're fun to abuse and to pretend
They mean anything to you at all
But losing them is best of all

Go low, go low, go low (How low?)
Go low, go low, go low (How low?)
Go low, go low, go low (How low?)
Go low, go low, go low

With the stream on, I'm cantankerous
Here I am now, utterly blameless
I feel stupid but I'm dangerous
Here I am now, harassing natives
A mulatto, and his sister, got my ass kicked
Yeah! Hey!

I'm worst at what I do best
Which is try desperately to impress
A bunch of speds, they're pissed, oh no
Where did all my paypiggies go?

Oh no, oh no, oh no (OH NO!)
Oh no, oh no, oh no (OH NO!)
Oh no, oh no, oh no (OH NO!)
Oh no, oh no, oh no

Now I'm offstream, still cantankerous
Here I am now, still fucking blameless
Even though I got my ass kicked
By some midgets who stole my manbag
Now I look like I was molested!
Yeah! Hey!

And I forget just what I said
Too many pills (and being inbred)
Gotta grift these speds for bucks for sure
Got too many bills and there's always more

There's more, there's more, there's more (always more)
There's more, there's more, there's more (always more)
There's more, there's more, there's more (always more)
There's more, there's more, there's more

So I'm banging a transvestite
What's the problem? So she's got a face
like a cattle. Who wouldn't want to own
Mr. Ed, yo? Off to the races!
I'm not coping. I'm not coping. I'm not coping. I'm not coping.
In denial. In denial. In denial. In denial. In denial.
In denial. In denial. In denial. In denial.

MC Jarbo is your man for that.

 

[SargonF00t]

The a-logs visit Vegas every week, Kino Kasino is the hottest event. Ralph Eternally felted.
Andy and Ashton made over $1000 from the other day's Kino Kasino, this doesn't include their new subscription service and no doubt upcoming membership, if YouTube is with the House.

Each time Ethan visits a casino, he will be reminded of the finger guns and diapers of peace, truly horrifying, especially when his allegedly pregnant stallion is in its paedophile stall. Remember, Ralph never moralise.

Here's a clip of Ralph running. Tell me how this guy can chase after anyone/anything.
Reminder that Failure is 6'5'' and over 300 pounds, he was also drinking heavily. Winning a "race" against an impaired person isn't an achievement.
View attachment 2936738

If a Bidoof manifested itself from the new Pokémon game and took his murse, he wouldn't be able to get it back.
If he depended on dismantling tumbleweed to re-acquire his man purse, he would be outran and soon die to his pill-induced nightmares.

I have a new thread title proposition:
Pig's Porktugal Pillgrimage

Failure was 500lbs. He is a tall guy.

 

[King Bradley]

The a-logs visit Vegas every week, Kino Kasino is the hottest event. Ralph Eternally felted.
Andy and Ashton made over $1000 from the other day's Kino Kasino, this doesn't include their new subscription service and no doubt upcoming membership, if YouTube is with the House.

Each time Ethan visits a casino, he will be reminded of the finger guns and diapers of peace, truly horrifying, especially when his allegedly pregnant stallion is in its paedophile stall. Remember, Ralph never moralise.

Here's a clip of Ralph running. Tell me how this guy can chase after anyone/anything.
Reminder that Failure is 6'5'' and over 300 pounds, he was also drinking heavily. Winning a "race" against an impaired person isn't an achievement.
View attachment 2936738

If a Bidoof manifested itself from the new Pokémon game and took his murse, he wouldn't be able to get it back.
If he depended on dismantling tumbleweed to re-acquire his man purse, he would be outran and soon die to his pill-induced nightmares.

I have a new thread title proposition:
Pig's Porktugal Pillgrimage

Someone should show Ralph the Ebay listing so he can go confront the thieves and livestream his beating this time.

 

[Drew Pickles 69]

What fastfood and plain beef do to a nigga

 

[Faggitory]

It's not even February and at least three top-tier things have landed on the plate.

2022 is gonna be awesome.

Wait, didn't this happen last year? Didn't Ethan do some dumb shit early last year, and everyone said "2021 is gonna be AWESOME!"? Is this shit just a yearly thing for Ethan?

 

[Pres. Benjamin Franklin]

final boss of Porkugal

 

[Pres. Benjamin Franklin]

Wait, didn't this happen last year? Didn't Ethan do some dumb shit early last year, and everyone said "2021 is gonna be AWESOME!"? Is this shit just a yearly thing for Ethan?

"yearly"?
it's one step straight to hell every single day.

 

[Fully Eshay Skits Bruh v2]

What fastfood and plain beef do to a nigga
View attachment 2936898

Kino post.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

He tumbled down the steep streets and knocked those pesky immigrants over like bowling pins.

Or Indiana Jones vs. the boulder.

 

[Davis O'Shaughnessy]

Alright, i'll stop after this post. I'll make a thread if this retarded idea bears any fruit but i couldn't sleep tonight and had to waste a couple of hours so have some designs.

I present the cast of "Five star days with Ethan Gunt":


Keep doing what you're doing Ralph.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Chat discussed this and I looked into this but I couldn't find a cruise liner from Lisbon to the USA that at earliest departs in late May.

https://www.gotosea.com/cruises-from-portugal-to-united-states

That said it would port either in NY or Florida depending so he would have to take an airline flight regardless to get back to Virginia if no one were to drive that distance and collect him GATOR!

Cruise lines to/from the US generally require you to travel round-trip. If you don't get back on at a port of call you are subject to financial (and sometimes criminal) penalties. You basically can't use them for one-way travel.

There are occasional one-way repositioning transits available, but they are rare and unreliable. The only regularly scheduled one-way international ocean route from the US is Cunard Lines NYC <-> Southampton, UK.

Beyond that, you can book passage on cargo ships. This is also unreliable and you basically have to get lucky on what's available. Your origin/destination pair will probably not be what you want, unless you're trying to get to/from east Asia. This is an incredibly boring way to travel, though it's getting better with better satellite internet coming online at least.

 

[Retink]

Alright, i'll stop after this post. I'll make a thread if this retarded idea bears any fruit but i couldn't sleep tonight and had to waste a couple of hours so have some designs.

I present the cast of "Five star days with Ethan Gunt":
View attachment 2937056View attachment 2937057

Keep doing what you're doing Ralph.

Meigh needs a Guntling bump.

 

[Salade Nicoise]

Cruise lines to/from the US generally require you to travel round-trip. If you don't get back on at a port of call you are subject to financial (and sometimes criminal) penalties. You basically can't use them for one-way travel.

There are occasional one-way repositioning transits available, but they are rare and unreliable. The only regularly scheduled one-way international ocean route from the US is Cunard Lines NYC <-> Southampton, UK.

Beyond that, you can book passage on cargo ships. This is also unreliable and you basically have to get lucky on what's available. Your origin/destination pair will probably not be what you want, unless you're trying to get to/from east Asia. This is an incredibly boring way to travel, though it's getting better with better satellite internet coming online at least.

I'd pay good money to see the Gunt take on Indonesian Pirates.