Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[Conan Spedogawa]

The a-logs visit Vegas every week, Kino Kasino is the hottest event. Ralph Eternally felted.
Andy and Ashton made over $1000 from the other day's Kino Kasino, this doesn't include their new subscription service and no doubt upcoming membership, if YouTube is with the House.

Each time Ethan visits a casino, he will be reminded of the finger guns and diapers of peace, truly horrifying, especially when his allegedly pregnant stallion is in its paedophile stall. Remember, Ralph never moralise.

Here's a clip of Ralph running. Tell me how this guy can chase after anyone/anything.
Reminder that Failure is 6'5'' and over 300 pounds, he was also drinking heavily. Winning a "race" against an impaired person isn't an achievement.
View attachment 2936738

If a Bidoof manifested itself from the new Pokémon game and took his murse, he wouldn't be able to get it back.
If he depended on dismantling tumbleweed to re-acquire his man purse, he would be outran and soon die to his pill-induced nightmares.

I have a new thread title proposition:
Pig's Porktugal Pillgrimage

He runs like Linkara
But unironically.

 

[NaggotFigger]

The a-logs visit Vegas every week, Kino Kasino is the hottest event. Ralph Eternally felted.
Andy and Ashton made over $1000 from the other day's Kino Kasino, this doesn't include their new subscription service and no doubt upcoming membership, if YouTube is with the House.

Each time Ethan visits a casino, he will be reminded of the finger guns and diapers of peace, truly horrifying, especially when his allegedly pregnant stallion is in its paedophile stall. Remember, Ralph never moralise.

Here's a clip of Ralph running. Tell me how this guy can chase after anyone/anything.
Reminder that Failure is 6'5'' and over 300 pounds, he was also drinking heavily. Winning a "race" against an impaired person isn't an achievement.
View attachment 2936738

If a Bidoof manifested itself from the new Pokémon game and took his murse, he wouldn't be able to get it back.
If he depended on dismantling tumbleweed to re-acquire his man purse, he would be outran and soon die to his pill-induced nightmares.

I have a new thread title proposition:
Pig's Porktugal Pillgrimage

Great job outran that guy, Ralphamale! Keep up with your retardation and pig gunt and make us laugh even moar! Anyway, for a nasty 5'1 pig, that gunt really know how to outran a taller and better dude, and I bet that when the Gunt met a faster person, he'll lose for sure in terms of speed after "achieving" that "reward" from beating a retard.
He runs like a fatass attempting to run fast makes me laugh a bit lol.

 

[oramge cat]

It's a good question, it may simply be the fact it was a cop he swung for.

I think prior to that he had a fair amount of minor charges, maybe they just had enough of the fat cunt.

I agree that he must have kept going past the point of coming to and realizing she was a cop. There have been cases where dumbfuck cops did a no knock raid on a known felon but didn't announce themselves, got clapped, and the guy got off scot free because he had no reason to believe the guys breaking in were cops. If Ralph couldn't even plead down to a lesser charge, he must have done something excessive.

 

[6thRanger]

I still can barely believe this actually happened. This entire thing is so fucking stupid. I'm glad Ralph is okay. I've started to appreciate him more now when I add up all the laughs.

I hope the content never ends. A 50 year old Ralph with his 7th baby momma ranting about the A-logs would be serene. Shame on everyone who's wishing for his death. I can't believe you'd want this to stop. I hope Ralph lives a very long life. He's truly hilarious.

 

[Phillip Green]

The scariest thing is that if Ralph gets disability than by technicality all US Kiwi's will be Ralph's paypigs. Some percentage of your taxes will go to him and his shitty lifestyle if Ralph can convince some Judge that this beating has made him unable to get another job. Null better think twice about moving back to the US, Ralph might just run him over in his tax-payer funded rascal.

Unfortunately we're just going to have to accept that this will happen. The chances of little Xandria making it to her 2nd birthday without benefiting from some form of federal assistance (and her broke-teeth wigger father taking a cut) is essentially zero.

 

[Keranu]

Alright, i'll stop after this post. I'll make a thread if this retarded idea bears any fruit but i couldn't sleep tonight and had to waste a couple of hours so have some designs.

I present the cast of "Five star days with Ethan Gunt":
View attachment 2937056View attachment 2937057

Keep doing what you're doing Ralph.

Magnificent.

My only suggestion is Dax could use more defining characteristics. He's perfectly good and usable as is, I can tell who he is, but perhaps his face could be shrunken. Maaaybe a hookier nose too though that may be over the top.

Seeing all the gunt fan art makes me think of how tame the Mundane Matt stuff was in comparison.

 

[3-2-1836]

Cruise lines to/from the US generally require you to travel round-trip. If you don't get back on at a port of call you are subject to financial (and sometimes criminal) penalties. You basically can't use them for one-way travel.

There are occasional one-way repositioning transits available, but they are rare and unreliable. The only regularly scheduled one-way international ocean route from the US is Cunard Lines NYC <-> Southampton, UK.

Beyond that, you can book passage on cargo ships. This is also unreliable and you basically have to get lucky on what's available. Your origin/destination pair will probably not be what you want, unless you're trying to get to/from east Asia. This is an incredibly boring way to travel, though it's getting better with better satellite internet coming online at least.

Queen Mary 2 is doing a transatlantic trip in 2 weeks leaving Hamburg on February 13th with a port call South Hampton on February 15th for a transatlantic trip to New York. Only $1,573 if he boards in Germany, or $1,223 if -- oh wait he can't even legally enter the UK due to his felony conviction.

 

[Davis O'Shaughnessy]

Queen Mary 2 is doing a transatlantic trip in 2 weeks leaving Hamburg on February 13th with a port call South Hampton on February 15th for a transatlantic trip to New York. Only $1,573 if he boards in Germany, or $1,223 if -- oh wait he can't even legally enter the UK due to his felony conviction.

I already States that If He is to enter Germany, he'll get Kicked in the dick.

 

[IHateTheFrench]

I already States that If He is to enter Germany, he'll get Kicked in the dick.

Depends on where the liner would port. If it halts in Hamburg or Kiel, he'll end up with another broken jaw if he tries his loudmouthed amerimutt retardations over there. So he'd better stay on board

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

So if Ralph had to have his mouth wired completely shut, would it be like the Simpsons episode where Homer gets his mouth wired shut?

 

[Ethan Ralphs Micro Peen]

If Ralph went to jail, he'd still have his teeth.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Things I would like to hear out of this disgrace of a human.

-I was wrong.
-Maybe I need to slow down and re-evaluate things
-I have just been really fucked up lately and am thinking of counseling
-Now that my kid with May will be coming any day now I need to focus on my show and family, It's not fair to them
-Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom to realize that things are bad and moving forward I will try my hardest to do what is right for not only me but my family and fans who I let down.

We are talking about Ethan Ralph. He will bend over backwards if this means to spite these darn dirty aylogs from broken dick farms

 

[Venkataraman]

I figure he was trying to drunkenly score coke. Some Arab gave him a sales pitch but being the savvy man he is he insisted on following the guy to “the source” down a dark alley and probably did some other stupid shit in a foolish attempt to not get ripped off by a obvious scammer. Ralphamale is street smart after all. Once he realized Ralph wouldn’t just give him some money for a crushed aspirin he decided to forcibly relieve Ralphamale of his purse and money.

This is 100% what happened. I used to be a homeless junkie in a European city and people pulled this scam all the time. "Oh, yeah, I can get you coke, just give me the money and wait here I'll just go round the corner and get it. I'll be 2 minutes." and usually the naive young tourist would be too nervous to say no or if they said no the guy would be like "well I have no money and my dealer wouldn't sell to someone he doesn't know" and if that didn't work "okay then I'll go get it on credit but you better have the money or I'll get my ass beaten" then they just come back with a bag of crushed up powder wrapped in so much seran wrap its impossible to check and say "no no don't open it here you idiot there's cops, do you want it or not? just give me the money."

I knew junkie beggars who made like £50 a day minimum doing that just hanging out at the hippy tourist spots waiting for dumb timid college kids.

 

[byuu]

If Ralph went to jail, he'd still have his teeth.

He'd get fucked in the ass and would use a smuggled phone to tweet out a picture of Edward Norton after his rape in American History X.

 

[3-2-1836]

Depends on where the liner would port. If it halts in Hamburg or Kiel, he'll end up with another broken jaw if he tries his loudmouthed amerimutt retardations over there. So he'd better stay on board

Port of departure is Hamburg on February 13th, with only one stop in South Hampton, England where it'll be illegal for him to leave the ship, then NYC on February 22nd.

https://www.cunard.com/en-us/find-a-cruise/M205H/M205H

 

[IHateTheFrench]

Port of departure is Hamburg on February 13th, with only one stop in South Hampton, England where it'll be illegal for him to leave the ship, then NYC on February 22nd.

https://www.cunard.com/en-us/find-a-cruise/M205H/M205H

Porks passage to Hamburg. If he got beaten the shit out of him by Moor in portugals, i got a feeling that it also might just happen to him over there. Might be a fun one.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Alright, i'll stop after this post. I'll make a thread if this retarded idea bears any fruit but i couldn't sleep tonight and had to waste a couple of hours so have some designs.

I present the cast of "Five star days with Ethan Gunt":
View attachment 2937056View attachment 2937057

Keep doing what you're doing Ralph.

A little bit of constructive criticism, Ralph's gunt is looks like an ass, not a scar. It needs a bit of divide between them frontal cheeks

 

[Blue November]

I knew this was going to happen as soon as I heard that he was traveling to Portugal, Especially in Lisbon. People just walk around offering crack and everything else there. If he didn't get mugged, I figured he was going to get into drug trouble with some locals. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if that's what this is and he is just hiding it lol.

 

[3-2-1836]

Porks passage to Hamburg. If he got beaten the shit out of him by Moor in portugals, i got a feeling that it also might just happen to him over there. Might be a fun one.

The only question is how does he even get from Lisbon to Hamburg, does Portugal even have train service?

 

[IHateTheFrench]

The only question is how does he even get from Lisbon to Hamburg, does Portugal even have train service?

No idea about portugal, but if he is able to get to Spain, it should be no problem from there to Germany.