Trashfire Ethan Ralph vs. Mister Metokur & Gator - It's finally happening

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.

Who did the worse beating?

  • The 14-year-old transgender prostitute in Lisbon.

    Votes: 599 24.8%

  • A Minnesota cancer patient.

    Votes: 1,302 53.8%

  • Mundane "Boulder King" Matt Jarbo.

    Votes: 517 21.4%
  • Total voters
    2,418
1650161346943.png

"Bring in that raging fatman, the Gunt. "
"I never demanded your presence..."
"But your lack of action demanded it! Your dreadful mismanagement, your bad judgement in assigning to BAKED ALASKA, your friendship. You're forcing me to come here and set things straight personally! And why did you not tell me of Jim's ability to burn you? The women and children of the Sweetie Squad were enough to defeat the /pol/tards I lent you! You managed only ONE hostage, ONE! Bring her in. "
1650161707708.png

"I am a messenger from Mr. Metokur. Poor Ethan Ralph, my master will be very displeased with you."
 
  • Winner
  • Like
Reactions: make_it_so, ConSluttant, not william stenchever and 11 others
Blarmed&Dangerous said:
I'm 6'4" and ~210ish pounds after having been 330 at my heaviest (and even then I didn't have double fucking tits. Ralph is lying through his teeth about being "250"). The skin sucks but it's almost unnoticeable clothed. Maybe a disadvantage getting grappled, but it's super marginal. We're not talking elite fighters at the top of their game, we're talking a backyard retard scuffle.
Click to expand...
All ralph needs to do to lose weight is go to the wingsofredemption FPSbootcamp. Jordie lost 40 pounds in a month.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Gunterator, REGENDarySumanai, Watamelon and 2 others
Wine em Dine em 69 em said:
If you’re not walking 10,000 steps a day you are basically a sedentary lump. You don’t have to walk 4 miles all at once, break it up into 15-minute increments throughout the day. There you go Ralph, free health advice you can ignore. Enjoy the cocaine tonight!
Click to expand...
When Ralph started hollering about 2 miles to get healthy I could only think that I walk two miles a day…as a way to relax.

A two mile walk isn’t exercise for normal people, it’s a way to relieve stress and relax. A 5 to 10 mile walk is in the get healthy/ exercise range.

Then again when your as fat, doubled titted and gunted as Ralph a two mile walk must seem like climbing K2.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: ConSluttant, Wine em Dine em 69 em, Slimy Time and 3 others
AnOminous said:
Pathetic. The pig-tits fatty thinks that's impressive. My walking app tells me I walk two miles a day even when I don't go outside just from pacing. And the last time I tried, I can still walk basically from when I wake up until I go to bed without any noticeable fatigue. Isn't this something most basically functional people can do, even into old age?

Two miles is basically an hour max even if you're idly ambling along. You don't even have to get above a power walk to make it a half-hour, though. He should stream while walking, though, it would be hilarious to listen to his pig squealing punctuated by gasping and wheezing as this sclerotic fatty went into anoxia.
Click to expand...
I'm only slightly less fat than him and a 2 mile walk at a normal pace doesn't even register as a strenuous activity. How pathetic indeed.
Pill Cosby said:
It looks like his tits have tits. Gross.
Click to expand...
It's like that joke about Chuck Norris' beard having its own beard, but it's real and it's horrifying and not funny.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: True Friend, Mexican Molotov Marauder, REGENDarySumanai and 4 others
MirnaMinkoff said:
When Ralph started hollering about 2 miles to get healthy I could only think that I walk two miles a day…as a way to relax.

A two mile walk isn’t exercise for normal people, it’s a way to relieve stress and relax. A 5 to 10 mile walk is in the get healthy/ exercise range.

Then again when your as fat, doubled titted and gunted as Ralph a two mile walk must seem like climbing K2.
Click to expand...
Obviously everyone focuses on how fat Ralph is, and he's a big blob there is absolutely no doubt, but that is not the end of the story when it comes to fitness. When you add in his sedentary lifestyle, his smoking, drinking, drug use, diet and emotions Ralph's body must be positively beat.

There are people of a similar weight to Ralph who are a lot healthier, because they have a manual job, or walk their dogs or only have a handful of vices rather than all of them. Yet Ralph is so clearly completely inactive, and despite his "I did sports at school" cope, he remains so.

The very fact he has to start by walking 2 miles, when he's a 36 year old man is indicative of how utterly fucked his body is. He isn't just obese, I guarantee this guy has under developed muscles which are not used regularly.

Even running programmes aimed at the lowest common denominator, that are used as guidelines for public health bodies suggest started at a higher pace than what Ralph is doing. I know people who haven't done exercise for half a decade successfully complete that programme.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ShoFuKan, Wine em Dine em 69 em, Dead Wife and 3 others
Mr E. Grifter said:
There are people of a similar weight to Ralph who are a lot healthier, because they have a manual job, or walk their dogs or only have a handful of vices rather than all of them.
Click to expand...
Don't forget the gambling either. Both of those, at his level of degeneracy, are extremely bad for stress hormones. It's not unknown for a degenerate gambler in Ralph's general state to keel over dead after a particularly bad loss or, for added fun, a particularly big win. Ralph does all the stupid, self-defeating shit that leads to high cortisol levels, a stress hormone which fucks you up so bad if it were a pharmaceutical, they'd outlaw it.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Wine em Dine em 69 em, REGENDarySumanai, AmateurComedicTaxidermist and 3 others
TerrorCorpCEO said:
It was Ethan vs the world from the moment he was born, bay bay!
Click to expand...

I mean where he finally decides that the world hates him and he's gonna strike back.... I see no other ending to this

EDIT: Well okay, no other ending if he doesn't die from what he's doing to himself and his body
 
Last edited:
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: TerrorCorpCEO
Fannyscum said:
More back and forth on Twitter between Jim and Ralph:
View attachment 3187286
Tweet | Archive

View attachment 3187296
Tweet | Archive

View attachment 3187303
Tweet | Archive

View attachment 3187305
Tweet | Archive

View attachment 3187308
Tweet | Archive

View attachment 3187307
Tweet | Archive
Click to expand...
Got to love how Ralph calls Jade a trophy wife. I don't know of many trophy wives who are anesthesiologists, who makes in a year what Ralph makes in 5 years, who takes care of her ailing husband while also working a full time job. Seethe more piggy!
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: FlappyBat, repentance, DAS RITE and 39 others
I'm remembering late 2018, and how different the whole "scene" was. Ralph was somewhat respected, Jersh wasn't even streaming yet, Jim was streaming. It's so fucking bizarre. I can't reiterate enough how glad I am that I stopped watching Ralph after the Healstream, the only reason I stopped was because stream.me didn't have a mobile app, but I was willing to overcome that challenge for better streams.

God I feel old.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: ConSluttant, PaladinBoo, UnLimiTed-Lbs and 16 others
The greatest irony will of course be if after years of drinking, drugging, choking down greasy food, getting into car wrecks and beaten up in foreign countries; the strain of trying to walk 2 miles in order to spite the alogs is what finally kills Ralph.
 
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Optimistic
Reactions: Soup Enjoyer, Ohoolihan, Dead Wife and 14 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back