Jim Sterling / James "Stephanie" Sterling / James Stanton/Sexton & in memoriam TotalBiscuit (John Bain) - One Gaming Lolcow Thread

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I was going to suggest putting him between Blackpool and the Isle of Man, but I don't think my family's ancestral land would want that navigational hazard bobbing around the Irish Sea.

Because remember, kids: blubber floats.
People who drown in the Irish Sea get taken to Fleetwood trench by the current then after they decay enough for the gasses to float them they wash-up on Blackpool North Beach. Gives Blackbpool police a fun time trying to work out where the corpse came from before they even try to work out if its suspicious.
 
For all of those curious to see Jim Sterling the professional wrestler in action he broadcast his debut and first match yesterday on his stream and for all your viewing pleasure here they are.
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Fuck me, is he awful. Cringey as fuck.

His wrestling costume looks fucking retarded and there's no way he's gonna go over looking like a fat melted action figure. He undersells his attacks, undersells his hits, and got tired within the first three minutes. The way he held that hammer looks so non-threatening and he walks up like a sissy faggot. All that, and his character loses like the total jobber is he.

Don't know if this match was done as a joke or what, but I'm surprised he wasn't booed off the ring. That's time that audience is never going to get back...
 
Does he not understand he's obese or something? Why would you wear a white spandex body suit that really bulges out around all your shapeless lumps if you were as big as he is.

I don't know if anybody here lives in the country, but you know when farmers cover their haybales in white plastic to protect them from weather? So it comes out looking like a giant, fat white worm sitting in the field? That's what he reminds me of right now.
 
I'd feel bad for that guy that has to wrestle with him, but he's probably just as cringey as Sterling is. The whole arena looks like it's filled with Sterling's type of people.
 
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I'd feel bad for that guy that has to wrestle with him, but he's probably just as cringey as Sterling is. The whole arena looks like it's filled with Sterling's type of people.
Do you think Jim works with people who aren't completely in lockstep with him? Like really? Hell it could be half the reason he left the States. Because some other wrestler said something like he buys Madden, and no one else would choose Jim over this man who single handedly flogs uwu twans women. So he found a new country
 
I was curious about this and did some research last week on the topic and this episode of podquisition seems to give the info about 1:50 in, by mentioning a local paper he reveals he's likely living in or near Huddersfield and from tweets he's also likely living with his twitch mod and 'husband' Phoenix. He also mentions that he had issues getting a landlord to let him rent a place because of 'employment status' and yeah I'd be iffy too if some fat troon came to me and said he job was wrestling and complaining about muh capitalism with the main income source being donations via patreon, which is probably why he isn't living anything too extravagent. Jim also doesn't drive.
That would explain renting but with the amount of money Jim has made off his Patreon by now he should have enough savings to buy a place outright.

The fact he hasn't could suggest any number of things, but the first two that jump to my mind are A) He has wasted the majority of his income on useless shit or US medical bills, and B) He doesn't plan on staying in the UK and is only there to exploit the NHS. Although for the sake of being fair I guess there is also C) He's waiting to be settled in the UK before committing to buying property.
Does he not understand he's obese or something? Why would you wear a white spandex body suit that really bulges out around all your shapeless lumps if you were as big as he is.
He's probably one of those particularly vile fat people, in the vein of Beth Ditto, Tess Holiday and Lizzo, who actually get off on how much they disgust people with their bodies.

Either that or it's a cope, also like the aforementioned fat chicks, where if he shows it off it's proof he's totally not ashamed of what a disgusting fat pig he is.
 
People who drown in the Irish Sea get taken to Fleetwood trench by the current then after they decay enough for the gasses to float them they wash-up on Blackpool North Beach. Gives Blackbpool police a fun time trying to work out where the corpse came from before they even try to work out if its suspicious.

If a corpse washes up on blackpool beach the police will be hard pressed to spot it in amongst all the discarded condoms and needles. But since Jim will be performing there soon, maybe it'll be a relief.
 
Does he not understand he's obese or something? Why would you wear a white spandex body suit that really bulges out around all your shapeless lumps if you were as big as he is.

He understands, it is just some sort of bizarre sexual humiliation ritual.

I know every time I open this thread I'm gonna be hit with some kind of Islamic content.
 
Does he not understand he's obese or something? Why would you wear a white spandex body suit that really bulges out around all your shapeless lumps if you were as big as he is.

I don't know if anybody here lives in the country, but you know when farmers cover their haybales in white plastic to protect them from weather? So it comes out looking like a giant, fat white worm sitting in the field? That's what he reminds me of right now.
I think his weight would be fine if Jim had better cardio and muscle mass since wrestling has freak show elements but it’d mean he would have to acknowledge his role and start doing fat guy wrestler moves like the belly flop or sitting on his opponent or whatever (I don’t know the actual names) but more importantly like previously said get the basics down.
 
That would explain renting but with the amount of money Jim has made off his Patreon by now he should have enough savings to buy a place outright.

The fact he hasn't could suggest any number of things, but the first two that jump to my mind are A) He has wasted the majority of his income on useless shit or US medical bills, and B) He doesn't plan on staying in the UK and is only there to exploit the NHS. Although for the sake of being fair I guess there is also C) He's waiting to be settled in the UK before committing to buying property.
Likely option A because even with the amount he gets on patreon it'd take over a year of saving to be able to afford somewhere that isn't shitty outright and he wouldn't be able to get a mortgage for the same reasons the landlord didn't want to let him rent.

I haven't payed attention to Jim since 2014, but what was his impetus to becoming a WOOOOMAAN?
Relevance.
 
I haven't payed attention to Jim since 2014, but what was his impetus to becoming a WOOOOMAAN?
Fading relevance and a desperation to pivot his content to anything other than video games.

He desperately wants to be the next Contra or PhilosophyTroon, but he's too old fat and ugly to serve as a thirst trap for chasers and he's too stupid to make the kind of content those two produce (not to say it's good, just leagues above what Jim is capable of).
Likely option A because even with the amount he gets on patreon it'd take over a year of saving to be able to afford somewhere that isn't shitty outright and he wouldn't be able to get a mortgage for the same reasons the landlord didn't want to let him rent.
But he's been making 10k per month for almost a decade now; even if he was only putting a grand away per month he should easily have over 100k by now; that's not even factoring in merch sales and other income (he's a very real professional wrestler now, remember).

I can't see how he couldn't have enough saved up at this point to buy a 150-175k house unless he has been grossly financially irresponsible. That's a possibility I'm not ruling out, mind you.
 
Fading relevance and a desperation to pivot his content to anything other than video games.

He desperately wants to be the next Contra or PhilosophyTroon, but he's too old fat and ugly to serve as a thirst trap for chasers and he's too stupid to make the kind of content those two produce (not to say it's good, just leagues above what Jim is capable of).
Controonpoints and PhilosophyTroon have something Jimothy here will never have. No, it's not the ability to argue their way out of a paperbag, neither of them is really that good at doing anything other than regurgitating bullshit they read somewhere else. In that sense Jim is quite similar to them. The key is the production values. Jimbo will always be cheap and low-effort, so there's nothing to draw and hold an audience besides a nasally British faggot whining about everything and anything on God's green Earth.
 
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