Registrations will remain closed to the public throughout June, 2022.

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

I'm still of the belief that newcomers should have a 3-month 1-post-a-day probation, and if that daily post is in A&H you get banned from posting in any other subforum for a week.

 

[Moths]

Iunno if its viable for this place but you could have that like the first couple of posts by a new account have to be janny certified shitposts

 

[Owner of a Lonely Hole]

Send all new users to the GRS/SRS rotdog & stinkditch thread for a month. If they can hang, let ‘em stay.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Send all new users to the GRS/SRS rotdog & stinkditch thread for a month. If they can hang, let ‘em stay.

They should also have to watch a whole Nikocado Avocado sextape.

 

[Dyn]

Not much by way of proof, mate.

What proof do you have that you're not a pedophile?

 

[glass_houses]

What proof do you have that you're not a pedophile?

I'm a true and honest female and I'm not a teacher. Is that enough?

 

[Dyn]

I'm a true and honest female and I'm not a teacher. Is that enough?

No, @Saffronette is also a female non-teacher and clearly a raging pedophile.

 

[PetiteFeet]

On the topic of making newfags suck less, maybe have a link on the front page with big flashing letters "NEWFAGS START HERE" and it takes you to a tutorial with the site rules and maybe some helpful functions of the forum software like inserting thumbnails and how/what to properly spoiler

Polite request to update the posting 101 thread. It's severely outdated. Things like embedding youtube videos and decreasing the size of a linked image to a thumbnail isn't in the current version of the thread.

I fully admit I'm still very much a newfag, but that thread is gold and should be mandatory reading for anyone just registering.

Thanks for all you do, null and jannies. I'll go back to lurking on my favourite troons.

 

[ImagineTheSmell]

Put all newfags in chastity and add 1 more week to their lock up time for every retarded post they make

 

[Complete Reprobate]

COOL CAT MAKES A REGISTRATION POLICY THAT THE WHOLE SITE AGREES ON - A DEREK SAVAGE iNTERNET VIGNETTE

 

[Black Light Red Panic]

I am re-opening registrations on July 4th.

During the month, I have added 3 new moderators and attempted to outline some reforms for bans. In general, the system I am trying to implement for penalties involves:

• More direct communication between staff and user.
• Shorter penalties and less frequent use of permanency in all types of penalty.
• Standardized ban lengths of 7 days and 1 month for serious issues.
• Issuing permanent bans only in cases where there are irreconcilable issues.

My hope is that clearly outlining this will make moderation decisions easier for staff and less upsetting to the people they are applied to.

I also hope that less frequently resorting to permanent account restrictions will dissuade sock/alt accounts. When someone is causing problems, sometimes they can be reasoned with. When they are thread-banned permanently, chances are they will just make a sock account and keep doing what caused the problem to begin with - now with added confusion through multiple accounts, and without regard for their account. With the openness of the forum, there is no way to adequately stop sock accounts, so I would like to find ways to encourage people to stick to one account so that registration can stay open.

So to that end, if you have been banned for over a month and would like to appeal under this new system, email <admin@kiwifarms.net> with your original account username and I'll look at the ban and warnings on the account. There are persistent problem users I am not going unban under any circumstances but you might as well shoot your shot.

If your account has endured a penalty for longer than a month (i.e. avatar ban, board ban) you can also appeal in Talk to Staff and I will look at it.


Regarding registration, it's a hard problem to solve. I'm sure the new users in July will also suck. The site needs new blood to stay alive and content fresh, but if new users don't really care about the site then their posts are going to be shit. I'll think about what I want to do before July 4th gets here.

This 10000%

Man, I just sometimes want a real answer as to why something was done. Usually I deserve it because I shitpost too hard and I can accept that but I would appreciate a more formal "this is why this was done" and not just the smug joke replies.

 

[AngryTreeRat]

Can we also start smacking around a-logs more when they join? Some people are purely here to hate the cows and not laugh at them. It shits up threads more than I do.

Honestly, just restrict new users to one post every 30 minutes for 100 posts. Toss on a badge that says "proving themselves", lock them to only the boards about cows, and make a solid post on dos and don'ts with a short quiz at the end. Something like, 5 questions randomly selected from a pool of whatever the mods come up with from that did and don'ts post. If they get 4/5 they get on the site, otherwise they retake the quiz. Also add a bunch of boxes that are trick wording to registration that are like your typical T&C agreement.

Specifically, make sure they check/uncheck these appropriately:

"I agree I've used this username on other sites." If checked they get blocked from making an account. It also adds a "I am a lolcow, here's the proof" box, so they can get verified faster. If this is filled, they can make the account, but can't post until moderator confirmed.
"I agree I will read the OP, and at least some of the most recent posts on the thread subject." They need to check this one.
"I agree I won't A-Log, cows are for laughing at, not getting mad at the internet over." Check this one. It's important.
"I agree that this is a right-wing site." Have this and one for left-wing as well, both need to be unchecked.
"I agree to not double post, unless the previous post is old enough that a thread bump is relevant." This would be so nice to make it clear to then. Then add an auto ban for frequent multiposts.
"I agree I haven't lurked." If it's checked, they get only one post a thread per day for their first 100 posts.

This with the randomized survey will trick people into reading some forum guidelines. Really all newfag restrictions should be post count based, it will force them to consider their posts longer.

 

[ANF]

@AnOminous this guy is trying to bully you into suicide.

Hey, I'm not the one implying that he would kill himself if his posting privileges were limited(he 100% would though)

 

[rodentia]

I am re-opening registrations on July 4th.

During the month, I have added 3 new moderators and attempted to outline some reforms for bans. In general, the system I am trying to implement for penalties involves:

• More direct communication between staff and user.
• Shorter penalties and less frequent use of permanency in all types of penalty.
• Standardized ban lengths of 7 days and 1 month for serious issues.
• Issuing permanent bans only in cases where there are irreconcilable issues.

My hope is that clearly outlining this will make moderation decisions easier for staff and less upsetting to the people they are applied to.

I also hope that less frequently resorting to permanent account restrictions will dissuade sock/alt accounts. When someone is causing problems, sometimes they can be reasoned with. When they are thread-banned permanently, chances are they will just make a sock account and keep doing what caused the problem to begin with - now with added confusion through multiple accounts, and without regard for their account. With the openness of the forum, there is no way to adequately stop sock accounts, so I would like to find ways to encourage people to stick to one account so that registration can stay open.

So to that end, if you have been banned for over a month and would like to appeal under this new system, email <admin@kiwifarms.net> with your original account username and I'll look at the ban and warnings on the account. There are persistent problem users I am not going unban under any circumstances but you might as well shoot your shot.

If your account has endured a penalty for longer than a month (i.e. avatar ban, board ban) you can also appeal in Talk to Staff and I will look at it.


Regarding registration, it's a hard problem to solve. I'm sure the new users in July will also suck. The site needs new blood to stay alive and content fresh, but if new users don't really care about the site then their posts are going to be shit. I'll think about what I want to do before July 4th gets here.

you're a damn good internet janitor null, maybe even the best.

 

[ImagineTheSmell]

Making newfags do obnoxiously long surveys and jump through all kinds of hoops just to be able to make an account and post is just going to completely stunt the growth of the site. IMO it's better just to regulate the flow of registrations, cut them off when necessary, and just cull all of the retards early on. Maybe add some kind of feature for mods to see only newfag posts so that dumb aylawgs get eradicated before they establish themselves. Oh, and encourage the use of the report feature with good boy points from the jannies that can be redeemed for headpats.

 

[AwkwardPineapple]

Profile scores are a reddit cancer

You know, I visit a forum that over the last few years made stickers/upvotes/neg ratings/whatever not visible on mobile and I have to say I’m not mad about it. It makes you focus on whatever someone is actually saying and not how many people liked or disliked it. Stickers and ratings are whatever, although they do help when you’re new to know when you’re being a dumbass.

Polite request to update the posting 101 thread. It's severely outdated. Things like embedding youtube videos and decreasing the size of a linked image to a thumbnail isn't in the current version of the thread.

I fully admit I'm still very much a newfag, but that thread is gold and should be mandatory reading for anyone just registering.

Thanks for all you do, null and jannies. I'll go back to lurking on my favourite troons.

I would also appreciate an update for mobilefags like myself. Maybe just some tips and tricks.

Can we also start smacking around a-logs more when they join? Some people are purely here to hate the cows and not laugh at them. It shits up threads more than I do.

Honestly, just restrict new users to one post every 30 minutes for 100 posts. Toss on a badge that says "proving themselves", lock them to only the boards about cows, and make a solid post on dos and don'ts with a short quiz at the end. Something like, 5 questions randomly selected from a pool of whatever the mods come up with from that did and don'ts post. If they get 4/5 they get on the site, otherwise they retake the quiz. Also add a bunch of boxes that are trick wording to registration that are like your typical T&C agreement.

Specifically, make sure they check/uncheck these appropriately:

"I agree I've used this username on other sites." If checked they get blocked from making an account. It also adds a "I am a lolcow, here's the proof" box, so they can get verified faster. If this is filled, they can make the account, but can't post until moderator confirmed.
"I agree I will read the OP, and at least some of the most recent posts on the thread subject." They need to check this one.
"I agree I won't A-Log, cows are for laughing at, not getting mad at the internet over." Check this one. It's important.
"I agree that this is a right-wing site." Have this and one for left-wing as well, both need to be unchecked.
"I agree to not double post, unless the previous post is old enough that a thread bump is relevant." This would be so nice to make it clear to then. Then add an auto ban for frequent multiposts.
"I agree I haven't lurked." If it's checked, they get only one post a thread per day for their first 100 posts.

This with the randomized survey will trick people into reading some forum guidelines. Really all newfag restrictions should be post count based, it will force them to consider their posts longer.

See this is too much. Shame the newfags into assimilation or they can suffer the consequences. Plain and simple.

 

[qazzzz]

Invitations always seemed like the way to go in terms of inviting new members. Makes it easier to find sock puppet accounts.

 

[Captain gay Gay McCool]

Making newfags do obnoxiously long surveys and jump through all kinds of hoops just to be able to make an account and post is just going to completely stunt the growth of the site. IMO it's better just to regulate the flow of registrations, cut them off when necessary, and just cull all of the retards early on. Maybe add some kind of feature for mods to see only newfag posts so that dumb aylawgs get eradicated before they establish themselves. Oh, and encourage the use of the report feature with good boy points from the jannies that can be redeemed for headpats.

Isn't that already the case? I think my first 20-30 posts were all moderated. I'm unsure of the exact metric but there's already a system in place.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Can we make posting like it's 4chan a permaban?

>posting stuff like this

>then this

>then this one

This site isn't 4chan and it's super autistic to post like this

 

[Strelok]

IMHO the best way to allow registration, facilitate culture integration and avoid sock puppet and "I've been banned elsewhere for shouting niggers at the latest news event" users from flooding the forum would be some kind of phase in system for new users. Perhaps a time delay between signing up for a new account and actually being able to post.

Nothing major, but even a week would likely significantly cut down on the tards with the attention span of a fruit fly and those who want to scream at all caps about the latest Q-Anon conspiracy they heard in some random cow's thread because they mentioned voting 4 elections ago once in a side comment..