Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Pig Cups]

I don’t think you can make money on Quora by answering questions. I think Jack just likes being able to talk about any dumb opinion he has with no pushback and no need to actually know what he’s talking about.

He’s a narcissist that likes to feel as if people are coming to him as a trusted source to hear his “wisdom.”

It’s nauseating.

He's making new shirts. The hats are gone. He somehow managed to make worse shirts without the bitmoji

https://cooking-with-jack-merch-store.creator-spring.com/

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I’ll never understand his reluctance to simply spell out the full names of his shows on the shirt. Besides looking like shit, who is going to look at or remember a finely-printed URL? Fucking marketing genius this guy is…

Why is there a wooden spoon on the door frame

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My guess was that it was used to try and evoke a sense of charm while creating a sort of rudimentary cooking show set. Back when he was sort of trying, he showed it in conjunction with a whiteboard that had messages written/shopped onto it.

I CU PIGGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
…Or, they’re just dirty fucks who store cooking utensils on dusty, grimy door frames and (likely) don’t wash them off before shoving them into a pot.

 

[Super Hans]

He’s a narcissist that likes to feel as if people are coming to him as a trusted source to hear his “wisdom.”

It’s nauseating.



I’ll never understand his reluctance to simply spell out the full names of his shows on the shirt. Besides looking like shit, who is going to look at or remember a finely-printed URL? Fucking marketing genius this guy is…



My guess was that it was used to try and evoke a sense of charm while creating a sort of rudimentary cooking show set. Back when he was sort of trying, he showed it in conjunction with a whiteboard that had messages written/shopped onto it.
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I CU PIGGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
…Or, they’re just dirty fucks who store cooking utensils on dusty, grimy door frames and (likely) don’t wash them off before shoving them into a pot.

This before or after the 1st stroke? Best I can make out, it's 'Banana School, Dorito Salad, Mate BBQ.' I'd say ask what he was thinking using a dry green marker with it that far in the background, but, you know.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

Is there anything in his life that loves him? We all know that Big T has had enough of him but she's staying because it's the "Christian" thing to do. Jr hates him, Garrett hates him and even HOPE hates him or at the very least doesn't like him. So why would his appliances be any different?

His brother at least has some empathy for him if he is truly keeping this idiot afloat. If anything, going by what I remember, he's mature and good natured enough to be the bigger man no matter how much of an asshole Jagoff is to him, if I'm not mistaken he's Gay and has different politics than Jack does, yet still takes care of his asshole of a brother no matter how much he hates him. Frankly, I can respect the efforts of the people who have to put up with this pile of horseshit and still stay strong enough out of respect for Tammy, Jagoff is hated so viscerally precisely because of his own behaviour. This guy is an ungrateful leech to fucking everyone around him, and probably sees himself as the smartest guy in the room for having others foot the bill on his narcissistic gluttony, not aware for a single second that he's fucked if Tammy ever has enough of him and leaves him to fend for himself!

I guess if I looked like Jack I'd have wanted to use a bitmoji avatar as much as possible. It doesn't even have one cold dead bloat arm. As infuriating as that bitmoji is. It's certainly better looking than Jack. Im sure within the month his new icons will be him soy facing or doing the bee movie face.

Jack could look decent with some effort. If he grew a beard and dressed sharper he could present himself as a more likeable older man, a homely persona like that of an innkeeper or the like. With him dressing like a stereotypical rude tourist, however, he only looks like an asshole and little else!

 

[TurdFondler]

Jack could look decent with some effort. If he grew a beard and dressed sharper he could present himself as a more likeable older man

Hmm yes, maybe a neatly trimmed beard and a collared shirt, laundered and without creases?

 

[thedingledongle]

Hmm yes, maybe a neatly trimmed beard and a collared shirt, laundered and without creases?
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His vid today was so comfy. I wouldn’t mind eating at Paul Bunyan’s along with doing that carriage ride.

EDIT: Because I’m retarded

 

[Adamska]

Wow I missed a lot of clownery from Jack.

On the shirts, I'm really happy that Bitmoji finally slapped his shit down for abusing their uses clause for years. I imagine it was because of his recent new shirts that were even worse than the original ones. So that's why his newest shirts yet are even uglier due to his tendency to make the absolutely most retarded faces when exposed to a camera at all. I think the winner in dumbest thing on that is the tendency to wear the hats with the same terrible abbreviated name.

On the birria dip, a friend of mine said it best when he saw it. He said it looked exactly like the cartoon soups you'd see cannibals make as they ready to dump the protagonist into it. Whole vegetables and all. The fact he couldn't even be arsed to spoon off the scum at the top really tells you about how familiar he is at making stocks and how little he gives a shit about the final taste of a product. It's gonna taste awful even without the extra vegetable flavor that he'd get from cutting them into smaller pieces.

Lastly, yeah it's kind of horrifying he refuses to ever get Hope out of that harness. I bet the poor girl has some skin lesions from her growth due to that. Nice job asshole.

 

[Dondeld Dock]

Those new shirts are such a bewildering invention from Jack that I honestly first thought it was a Photoshop, but no, Jack printed his stupid face onto his shirts for real. He could have done it better in so many different ways but he chose "hey I want to make soyface on my shirt!" Did he even ask Tammy if it looks good or did he throw a temper tantrum after Tammy said he looks like retard and did it anyway?
Hell if he would just put a still image from his intro, and crop himself from it onto the shirt it would be ten times better in terms of not looking like a complete idiot

 

[Kosher Salt]

The answer is ... Birria Tacos!

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It looks more like Jack confused "consommé" with "chamberpot."

 

[desudesu]

His vid today was so comfy. I wouldn’t mind eating at Paul Bunyan’s along with doing that carriage ride.

EDIT: Because I’m retarded

Right? Rob and Patti are two retired boomers enjoying their golden years. Patti is being all wholesome and sweet to Rob, and they clearly love each other. Rob and Patti have respectable, well-off offspring with grandchildren and are simply living the best life they can, knowing that they have left the best legacy on Earth.

It's a stark contrast to Jagoff's existence, in which he is ALWAYS bitter and angry, gets stressed out over doing nothing, and has a wife who clearly wants him dead. Imagine leaving a legacy behind that's mocked and hated. It's always saddening to see such a disparity in lifestyles.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

That gave me some terrible flashbacks to a job I had a lifetime ago. Complete PL, but I used to drive a truck for Bimbo. It’s a Mexican company that tried to sell in the US without checking if their company name meant anything else in this new market. It did, they failed, but they had untold liquid capital pouring out of Mexico and outright bought a massive US market share (the depot joke was that the company was just a cartel operation). They own Entenmann’s, Thomas Arnold, Sara Lee, Ball Park, and what must be scores of smaller companies. Last I knew of them, they were trying to buy a large chunk of Pepperidge Farm, but would have to offload a bunch of Stroehmann holdings to avoid hitting monopoly status.

To bring this even remotely back on topic - their factory outlets are definitely a good place to get industrial bread and snacks for an insanely low price, but you have to be extremely careful if you shop at them. The stores are stocked with the local depot’s stale, which was any bread that sat on a truck or in a store longer than seven days. Most modern bread will withstand that just fine, but some guys would push completely rotten, moldy product into the stale drop-off. Their delivery trucks weren’t air-conditioned, and horrible things can happen to even the most processed of bread after seven days in a humid metal box. It then gets dropped off at the discount stores where the employees tended to shelve any product that was put in front of them, no matter what color or how furry the bread had become.

 

[Pig Cups]

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I imagine this is what the inside of Jeffrey Dahmer’s 57-gallon blue drum looked like.

 

[Neko GF]

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[rubytintedchix]

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If coating onions in cheese didn’t work, coating pickles in cheese surely must!

This faggot. He’s just going to keep coating shit in cheese until something actually doesn’t taste disgusting. But this is Jack and he can’t taste anything so expect a new cheese coated veggie every month until we all die.

 

[Dave Meltzer]

He's still using bitmoji's in the thumbnails. Hopefully that gets called to their attention too.

So he is just going to replace the breading with cheese for every fried item now. Looking forward to the mozzarella sticks.

 

[TurdFondler]

MFW I'm subjected to yet another cheese keto abortion


This one is honestly more egregious than the others. Pickles have carbs so they're not Keto. Ignoring the pickles he's got at least 400 calories in just cheese there.

An appetizer serving of fried pickles is 138 calories. He made them much, much less healthy.

Also I think he got so assblasted at the response to his sped face shirts he's resorted to a most un christian RUN DMC shirt

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

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Tammy won't let you repaint the cabinets because she knows you would fuck it up like you fuck up everything else in your life.



Great spray coverage. Jack makes sure to get that spot between the wells extra-greasy.

In a truly surreal segment, Jack rhetorically asks if "400 is the new 350" and pretends like only people in the know could understand this question. He's of course referring to oven temperature, and the answer is: when it comes to Jack, there's no relationship between oven temperature and food doneness.

He also eats a pickle slice while making gross, quasi-sexual noises. Jack enjoys grossing other people out. It reminds me of the anecdotal stories about how Harvey Weinstein would eat in a very loud, sloppy manner, because he too is a disgusting person who doesn't respect personal boundaries.



Get you baked cheese. The recipe is just cheese and pickles. And of course he has to be a tard about WARM MARINARA, ALWAYS WARM YOUR MARINARA.



Jack tongue action.



"These are awesome, guys!... Definitely, GOOD!!" He's very performative in this section, even throws in a fake "wow" in there, has Jack finally found a cheese + object recipe even he can't tolerate?

 

[Laughingjoke2]

Jesus Christ he thinks that's healthy.

 

[AnOminous]

The fact he couldn't even be arsed to spoon off the scum at the top really tells you about how familiar he is at making stocks and how little he gives a shit about the final taste of a product.

My personal opinion is leave a LITTLE bit of the scum but Jack doesn't even think of it.

Great spray coverage. Jack makes sure to get that spot between the wells extra-greasy.

This fucking idiot can't even do the one thing a one-armed retard could do with barely any effort, just get one of those Bertolli spray bottles of EVOO.

"Professional chef." Lmao.

 

[TurdFondler]

Let's play a game:

Scalfani Fried Pickle or Scalfani Yorkshire Pudding

 

[Jack of the Lantern]

"Is 400 the new 350 ... let me know in the comments down below if you believe that to be so or if you're still a 350 person."

I don't know, Jack, I fancy myself more of a "use the temperature the recipe calls for" person myself, but I guess there's an argument to be made for using a set temperature for every recipe based on the shifting whims of society.

FUCKING WHAT?