Grand Jury speculation thread

[Coomfucius]

Shit guys I was in the middle of calling the clerk for a twelfth time and someone in the back is screaming about a floating man turning into a hedgehog and weird portal storms opening up.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Always a good day when the Chris board comes back to life as we await the news about Chris.

 

[TestTubePuppy]

I'm trying to read between the lines here... Tell me if I have anything wrong.

It's been a year and the prosecutor wasn't confident to press a major felony charge and go to trial... so he called for a Grand Jury to look at the evidence and decide if there is cause to try Chris for a felony.

Reading between the lines of that, the felony is almost certainly rape of an elder unable to provide consent.

Also, if the prosecutor needs a Grand Jury after a year of working on this case, it seems to me that he wasn't expecting it to go this far... He probably offered a sweetheart of a plea deal that was refused because it specified he couldn't go back to his toys and Barb and 14 BC.

We all know who refused that plea deal, and most likely against his lawyer's strenuous advice. Chris's lawyer would never want this case to go before a Grand Jury. That means that Chris's court appointed attorney is probably going to be asked to be released from the case in the next few days.

That means that Chris is going to be brought up on rape charges after a year of wasted time with a new lawyer who doesn't know the case.

It sounds like he is fucking himself big time.

 

[Muu]

I just called
to say
I love you

 

[Meowzers]

i’ve been waiting for this day more eagerly than the birth of my niece. i’m seeing friends that i haven’t seen since pre-covid this weekend and i could care less. last night my dreams were nothing but chris chan. i woke up, took my prozac, and have been refreshing KF ever since. i don’t care what the outcome is, i just have to know what fucking happens. it’s like the first episode of a new season of a series thats been on hiatus that left on a cliffhanger. i. have. to. know.

 

[MarineN*423543]

I just called.

And they told me I was fat.

That's some bullshit, they don't know that, and even my own scale is broken. For reasons that don't involve me being fat. Fuck you.

 

[anti SJW]

So, if this goes to trial, what's the over/ under on how many weens will try to get on the jury?

 

[AbyssGazer]

I just called
ur mum

 

[TheShortWaveCerealKiller]

So, if this goes to trial, what's the over/ under on how many weens will try to get on the jury?

It'll be a sold out crowd

 

[FamicomGorby]

I just called and the clerk told me Chris is going on a helicopter ride.

So, if this goes to trial, what's the over/ under on how many weens will try to get on the jury?

You have to live in his county to get on the jury, so the chances of a ween getting on it are small. Although a ween juror would probably just result in a hung jury, for the lulz.

 

[My Name is Mud]

I tried calling them again but all the lines are busy so I sent them a FAX and they sent me this

Spoiler: FAX

 

[anti SJW]

i just called

ordered a large plain pizza with pepperoni

Did you order enough for all of us?

 

[ChrisIsGay]

Ugh, This is taking forever.

 

[CWCissey]

I just called...

The guy on the other side just told me it was a Wendy's.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Well was she wrong?

Not in Virginia they don't. Surprisingly Virginia laws are very very clear about that.

Chris was born in the wrong state. He should've taken up Sockness's invite.

 

[️ronic]

i just called

ordered a large plain pizza with pepperoni

Not even a Fanta on the side?

 

[REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]

Assuming this is true, when would the decision to take it before the grand jury have been made? Was that something that was decided today?

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Not even a Fanta on the side?

You can have my share of the Fanta.

 

[Spergichu]

OH MY GOD THE CLERK JUST FLEW OVER MY HOUSE

 

[anti SJW]

It sounds like he is fucking himself big time.

Chris Chan gotta Chris Chan. It's what He does best, fuck himself.