Grand Jury speculation thread

[biscuitscilia]

Personally, I'm hoping everything and anything that could go wrong will go wrong. That every person Chris has ever interacted with over the years is subpoenaed and that the case will become such a clusterfuck that it somehow goes to the Supreme Court. I want to see Clarence Thomas forced to watch videos of Chris drinking his own cum and Breyer listening to Virgin with Rage, I want Amy Barret to watch Chris fuck a blow up doll. I just want it to go big and spiral out of control, I'm hoping it becomes bigger than the O.J. trial.

 

[troon patrol]

You know I'll always remember that series "making a Murderer", when they gave the slow in the mind kid nephew the option of pleading guilty. The shit public defender asks him:

"Are you sorry for what you did? because, that means you should plead guilty"

Now Imagine the public defender asking Chris a very similar if not the same question and getting a hard "no" he's not sorry for what he did to Barb, "soul bonding this blah blah blah, I want a trial blah blah."

 

[PsychoNerd054]

So I'm relatively current on all this but I seem to be clear on a point. With the charge Chris is currently facing, wouldn't he be hitting the maximum confinement? Could the state be forced to release him and he be free while awaiting any trial the Grand Jury wishes to move forward with or have new charges been filed?

The grand jury can't determine that. They can only determine if Chris can be charged of any crimes with the current evidence and be put on trial, or if he's competent enough to stand trial. If he can't be charged of anything, they don't look into the case any further, and he's dismissed, or at worse he's charged with a misdemeanor rather than a felony. If he's still incompetent to stand trial, he may be placed under psychiatric treatment, like the last time he was transferred.

 

[Billy_Sama]

I just pictured all the people of Christory coming to the courthouse like the Seinfeld Trial Series finale.

 

[TV's Adam West]

You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He's done worse. That accident! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall under your car like that? No! He orchestrated it! Christ! He raped his mom! And I saved him! And I shouldn't have. I took him into my own farm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the Barbara pussy! But not our Christine! Couldn't be pristine Christine! Fucking them blind! And HE gets to be a Goddess? What a sick joke! I should've stopped him when I had the chance!

 

[Pointless Sperg]

We'll have to see what the indictment says, if it's just plain rape then he'll have to register for life, but he'll have no location restrictions as generally the only thing non-pedo sex offenders are restricted from in Virginia is physically entering schools without prior written authorization.

If they charge him with rape by incapacity or physical helplessness then yeah, he'll be effectively banned from malls, and gamestop for life as that's one of the few non-pedo charges that carry location restrictions.


Note this is only for loitering, when it comes to residence and housing restrictions Virginia law explicitly states that only applies to people convicted of touching kids, so he's free to live wherever he wants.

Untrue. Sex offenders of any type are prohibited from schools, parks attached to schools, etc. Furthermore, there's very little difference between the tiers in terms of restrictions other than higher tiers have some added penalties for entering a school or school bus, and not being able to work as a taxi driver.

The main difference between the tiers is how often you have to report and how long you have to.

Fortunately for Chris, the distances from stuff he's prohibited from are not very large, and the kinds of places are fairly limited. Virginia is not very harsh compared to some other states (like Florida).

Chris is currently potentially facing no SOR status (incest with a non-incapacitated Barb), tier 1 (for incest if Barb was incapacitated), or tier 3 (rape). We'll know for sure after it's received by the grand jury and the public record of his charges is made available.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

the Jail of Fail Saga

It sure is going slowly.

 

[3-2-1836]

It should be noted that the alternative to the grand jury system is that the prosecutor just gets to indict whoever he wants whenever he wants. The system forces the prosecution to get their shit together beforehand precisely so the grand jury won't decline to indict. So it's not really a formality, because it prevents the prosecution from proceeding with shoddy cases that even the grand jury doesn't want to touch.

Generally the bar is so low, I've seen indictments based solely on a police report that bodycam showed at trial to be completely false because defendants have no opportunity to even defend themselves or produce adverse evidence at a grand jury if they even are informed one is even being conducted.

 

[Zvantastika]

I know I already did this joke many years ago, but I think it deserves to be updated for this special occasion. I almost got it right the first time tho, except for the shirt and the hair color of course.

Anyway, I guess I should start working on a Chris behind bars edit or something, looking at how this is all unfolding right now.

 

[Christorian X]

The grand jury can't determine that. They can only determine if Chris can be charged of any crimes with the current evidence and be put on trial, or if he's competent enough to stand trial. If he can't be charged of anything, they don't look into the case any further, and he's dismissed, or at worse he's charged with a misdemeanor rather than a felony. If he's still incompetent to stand trial, he may be placed under psychiatric treatment, like the last time he was transferred.

Thanks for the response. I understand the part about the Grand Jury, but he has to have been held on a charge for the last year. Going to a Grand Jury would mean they would be considering further charges is how it reads to me. If he stays on the misdemeanor then his max is 1 year which means he would have to be released while the legal system continues to try him, wouldn't he?

 

[Nointey]

How long will the Jury last for though? Will it be a quick process or will we have to wait an extra year for him to get charged?

 

[True Gunt Radio]

It depends on the bank and if they deemed the toys worthy of something.

If the bank does it's homework and look up Chris Chan on the internet they would be sitting in a goldmine of trash that everyone on the planet will want to buy.

As a side note I would buy 14 BC Lane if I had the money to do it.

I'd say the only thing "Christorical" there worth the effort of selling would be the sonichu master copies in that binder. Assuming they're not already in the dump no one involved in this would have any idea they might be worth +$1000. To them it's just a binder full of shitty drawings from the deranged man who raped his mom.

 

[Dave.]

He actually turned down the plea deal? What the fuck is he thinking?

 

[Cherenkovblue]

A four story Chris statue. You can pay to climb up inside it to a beautiful view of the Ruckersville area from Chris' head, while you listen to random Chris quotes play. Then you go down a twisty slide to the anus so Chris can poop you out into a giant air cushioned adult diaper, finally falling into a feces-colored ball pit.

If there's a god in heaven such a statue would trap any ween that climbs inside it and start up a furnace below it like a fucking Brazen Bull, bellowing sounds of tard rage as the ween is slow-cooked to death.

 

[Gold Star Commissar]

My sole desire of seeing Chris’ interrogation is slowly coming true!

 

[MangoDesu]

It's very difficult for a lawyer to provide an effective defense for a client who refuses to follow his advice. Heilberg is a respected private attorney who doesn't need this shit.

It's my understanding that it's very difficult for a lawyer to unilaterally withdraw from a case though. Are we assuming Chris wants to fire Heilberg or whoever @TestTubePuppy was referring to?

 

[TayandYou]

I guess Chris really didn’t want Fatrick Hoglinson to win lolcow of the year. The audio of piggy squealing at police about grinding black children into pepperoni while handcuffed in the middle of the night was tough to beat, but my god if Chris hasn’t done it.

Chris wins lolcow of the year for two years in a row?

 

[NoonmanR]

Personally, I'm hoping everything and anything that could go wrong will go wrong. That every person Chris has ever interacted with over the years is subpoenaed and that the case will become such a clusterfuck that it somehow goes to the Supreme Court. I want to see Clarence Thomas forced to watch videos of Chris drinking his own cum and Breyer listening to Virgin with Rage, I want Amy Barret to watch Chris fuck a blow up doll. I just want it to go big and spiral out of control, I'm hoping it becomes bigger than the O.J. trial.

Jeeze, and here i am just hoping chris spergs out live on TV/Youtube livestream.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

He actually turned down the plea deal?

How did Chris manage to graduate college again?

 

[Ruin]

I'd say the only thing "Christorical" there worth the effort of selling would be the sonichu master copies in that binder. Assuming they're not already in the dump no one involved in this would have any idea they might be worth +$1000. To them it's just a binder full of shitty drawings from the deranged man who raped his mom.

Does Barb still have the original autism papers? Weens would probably pay for those.