Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[Pass_The_Remote]

Yesterday he also said that he never made dough from scratch.

I'll believe it, I saw that IG homemade "pizza"...

 

[UncleTusky]

From yesterday's stream:


Congratulations Phil, you have the same cooking skills as a 10-year-old!

 

[Balr0g]

and salt. Never forget the salt. Phil prodces so much salt he should it in abundance. I wonder if je knows how to make Mac and cheese or something similar

 

[UncleTusky]

and salt. Never forget the salt. Phil prodces so much salt he should it in abundance. I wonder if je knows how to make Mac and cheese or something similar

Phil puts as little effort as humanly possible into cooking unless it's his precious 'tism sauce, no way he knows how to make macaroni and cheese. His Instagram has only two pics of mac and cheese, one from Thanksgiving 2016:

and one from Christmas 2017:

I am willing to bet money those both came from QVC or Fred Meyer - Phil has never cooked his own food for holiday meals and real cheeses are white or yellow/off-white, not the solid orange you see with ready-made mac and cheese from the deli. My educated guess is that he almost always has pasta + sauce because of his Authentic Italian delusion but made an exception here because mac and cheese is an typical holiday side whereas pasta + sauce is not. It's fun to watch Phil's ego battle it out with his autism!

Edit: The powers of autism are real and they compelled me to keep digging. Phil had mac and cheese a few more times in late 2015 (which was a gift from his parents) and early 2016 (he doesn't say who made it but it looks just like the stuff from late 2015). Even if some of it was homemade I feel confident saying Leanna made it because it looks competently made and nothing like the Fred Meyer deli slop he had for Thanksgiving 2020.

 

[LiquidCancer]

He had frozen pasta this week I forgot to write down what night. It just makes my head hurt. This pig who is obsessed with being italian and in love with his mom's sugar sauce recipe. He thinks his boxed dry pasta is the best dish he can make but he can't take 10 minutes to do that so for dinner he takes a frozen spaghetti out and puts it in the microwave for 3 minutes because he is so busy playing video games

 

[Falcon Sebben]

He thinks his boxed dry pasta is the best dish he can make but he can't take 10 minutes to do that so for dinner he takes a frozen spaghetti out and puts it in the microwave for 3 minutes because he is so busy playing video games

That probably is the best he can do. The man has the cooking skills of a child.

Of course Khet is over being his soulmaid. When she showed up she loved to cook. And then she got tired of it and they started eating takeout and delivery at every meal. There's no way in hell that the two of them are happy together.

 

[Iron Father]

I never thought about it until now but her getting so fat is the perfect sign that she has basically stopped cooking.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I never thought about it until now but her getting so fat is the perfect sign that she has basically stopped cooking.

She no longer needs to try anything. Dave married her so she's got it made. She doesn't have to sleep with him because of his low-T, they don't eat together because Dave is always working and she feels she's done enough for his sorry ass and is now on her own. They're roommates at this point. Anybody that thinks they're happily married is fooling themselves.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two videos

 

[UncleTusky]

Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two videos

Oooh this is easy! The first lets me bring back a Kiwi holiday tradition of doxing Phil's Thanksgiving pig slop:

Wouldn't you know it, the top plate is just the "Side Dish Sampler" from QVC:

Product Not Found Page — QVC.com

product not found

www.qvc.com

I cannot find the other sides on QVC's website but they look like what you'd get from a school cafeteria: The roll is sad and deflated, green beans only take on that color if you steam them too long, and the cranberry sauce is chunky - homemade cranberry sauce is usually more liquid than that. He might have even served it cold (or bought the cheapest, preservative-heaviest brand there is) since cranberry sauce will turn almost into a liquid when reheated, even on low heat.

And he only got a turkey breast because he's too lazy to prep and cook a whole turkey....... this got retconned in the same stream to "I have to carve my turkey now ". Gin brain is real Kiwis.

Meanwhile the pigs in the second video seem very happy, probably because they don't have to beg retards for money or wake up next to a deathfat for the rest of their lives.

 

[PenskeMaterial]

The roll is sad and deflated

Just like The Guy himself. Appropriate.

 

[Balr0g]

Phil should bring back Cooking with the King and post it on tiktok. I mean just look at this

Heck he might get some decent following considering how BAD he cooks

 

[Mighty Pigmask]

The fat cunt Khet burned the sweet potatoes because the turkey needed to be in the oven a certain temperature and the potatoes had to be in a lower temperature but the dumb bitch put both of them at the same time on a middle temperature, so it was too hot for the potatoes and not hot enough for the turkey. So the potatoes burned.

What a fucking retard wife.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Phil should bring back Cooking with the King and post it on tiktok. I mean just look at this

Heck he might get some decent following considering how BAD he cooks

Okay that was legit horrifying. The only part of that video that was any good was the roasting of the chicken over the veggies. Although peaches? Why?

But Philbert's attempt at this would be just nuking something. His only real attempt at cooking was his authentic Italian sauce with extra diabetes. That and his Poorly Cooking series where he fucks up every single recipe.

Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two videos
View attachment 3933381

TWO PLATES of food. This fucking retard had TWO PLATES of food. When you can't fit everything you want on one plate you go back later for seconds if necessary. Although I gotta give him props for using actual plates and not just using paper plates like he normally does.

 

[DYLAN ‘DIELAWN’ VOLK]

Oooh this is easy! The first lets me bring back a Kiwi holiday tradition of doxing Phil's Thanksgiving pig slop:

Wouldn't you know it, the top plate is just the "Side Dish Sampler" from QVC:

Product Not Found Page — QVC.com

product not found

www.qvc.com

I cannot find the other sides on QVC's website but they look like what you'd get from a school cafeteria: The roll is sad and deflated, green beans only take on that color if you steam them too long, and the cranberry sauce is chunky - homemade cranberry sauce is usually more liquid than that. He might have even served it cold (or bought the cheapest, preservative-heaviest brand there is) since cranberry sauce will turn almost into a liquid when reheated, even on low heat.

And he only got a turkey breast because he's too lazy to prep and cook a whole turkey....... this got retconned in the same stream to "I have to carve my turkey now ". Gin brain is real Kiwis.

Meanwhile the pigs in the second video seem very happy, probably because they don't have to beg retards for money or wake up next to a deathfat for the rest of their lives.

I didn't know that QVC sold food, this is super gross and weird. QVC is like an ancient relic from a forgotten time.

Isn't there overpriced catering on Doodash? He could have gotten the same goyslop garbage delivered warm from Bob Evans or something. Why would they buy food that comes frozen? Do he and Khet consider that cooking? It's extra steps for no reason and more money, classic Phil I guess. What a mature adult!

Did they have to talk to each other at dinner?

 

[UncleTusky]

I didn't know that QVC sold food, this is super gross and weird. QVC is like an ancient relic from a forgotten time.

Isn't there overpriced catering on Doodash? He could have gotten the same goyslop garbage delivered warm from Bob Evans or something. Why would they buy food that comes frozen? Do he and Khet consider that cooking? It's extra steps for no reason and more money, classic Phil I guess. What a mature adult!

I agree and from what we have pieced together it was not Phil's own idea, it was his mother's - a few years ago he told her he could not afford a Thanksgiving meal (yes really), she fell for it (don't act surprised), and that began the tradition of yearly QVC meals - this year was just sides but in the past she has paid for entire meals including the turkey. She was born in the mid 1950s so she's old enough to remember when QVC was relevant and might be too white trash/Internet illiterate to use other ways of arranging for Phil's Thanksgiving pig slop like Doordash or online ordering through Fred Meyer. Hell, she might not even know they exist.

 

[Schmeckel]

The fat cunt Khet burned the sweet potatoes because the turkey needed to be in the oven a certain temperature and the potatoes had to be in a lower temperature but the dumb bitch put both of them at the same time on a middle temperature, so it was too hot for the potatoes and not hot enough for the turkey. So the potatoes burned.

What a fucking retard wife.

Just do some basic math, and learn how aluminum foil works. I'm an idiot, and even I can manage to not fuck up shit in the oven.

 

[GunnlaugurSassoon]

I've never seen someone use two plates for one sitting. It's so fucking weird. Just take slightly less than the large mounds of mac and cheese, stuffing, and two types of potatoes so you can fit fucking cranberry sauce and beans on the same plate. You can go back for seconds you gluttonous weirdo.

Or maybe those two plates are the only servings he gets? He takes his share and then Kat sits in front of the massive aluminum containers and digs in?

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I didn't know that QVC sold food, this is super gross and weird. QVC is like an ancient relic from a forgotten time.

Isn't there overpriced catering on Doodash? He could have gotten the same goyslop garbage delivered warm from Bob Evans or something. Why would they buy food that comes frozen? Do he and Khet consider that cooking? It's extra steps for no reason and more money, classic Phil I guess. What a mature adult!

Did they have to talk to each other at dinner?

Last Christmas I think it was, Kat fucked up making a "Roast Beast" because she thought the cooking instructions didn't sound correct and didn't use enough wine to baste the meat. It came out dry and burnt.

Phil decided to Doordash some pizza and the guy just laughed at him and hung up. I assume the same thing would happen if he ordered on Thanksgiving.

Oooh this is easy! The first lets me bring back a Kiwi holiday tradition of doxing Phil's Thanksgiving pig slop:

Wouldn't you know it, the top plate is just the "Side Dish Sampler" from QVC:

Product Not Found Page — QVC.com

product not found

www.qvc.com

Bro, he's paying almost $100 for two pounds of food you could buy at the store for under $10.

 

[DYLAN ‘DIELAWN’ VOLK]

Last Christmas I think it was, Kat fucked up making a "Roast Beast" because she thought the cooking instructions didn't sound correct and didn't use enough wine to baste the meat. It came out dry and burnt.

Phil decided to Doordash some pizza and the guy just laughed at him and hung up. I assume the same thing would happen if he ordered on Thanksgiving.

I was bombarded by popups from Doordash on Thanksgiving and the days up to it with ads for catering that you could order and I only use it a few times a month, so I can't imagine that he and Khet weren't.