Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

There's functionally no way to tell

Sure there is. Dead Lowtax eats fewer pills. Also you can check the toes for sweat, and the local population of late 20s with self esteem issues for contusions.
 
  • Like
Reactions: polonium
Lowtax has spent years rotting away in his coffin with half a head.
It must smell like SomethingAwful.
Naamloos-2.png
 
Last edited:
One thing that was notable I think is the internet's reaction to his death. Usually, whenever a significant internet figure dies, even very controversial ones, there's a majority feeling of some level of grief or loss in the reaction, despite the ever-present gravedancing. Think people like TotalBiscuit and Etika. A lot of people hated them, and those people were not shy about expressing that when they passed. But overall there was a sense of loss. Not so with Lowtax, nobody mourned his passing. Even Fragmaster, who broke the news to the broader internet, didn't seem to be grieving. The tone of the video was of someone announcing the passing of the local bum. "Remember that Lowtax guy? Yeah, he's dead now. Crazy, huh? Makes ya think about life, man."

Most lolcows are seldom missed of course, but Lowtax was more than that - he was the man behind a very important site in the development of internet culture. Millions of people knew who he was. Thousands of people, many of them people with significant audiences, interacted with him enough to say they knew him personally. But none of those people had anything nice to say about him when he died. There was an overwhelming feeling that he had it coming. Usually at least someone will eulogise a dead internet person, but the closest we got was Maplewife's Battered Woman Syndrome posts on SA, where it seemed she still somehow believed all his lies (like his claim he couldn't afford to normalise her immigration status despite leasing sports cars and stuffing his face with $70 pies). Everyone else either said "good" or just shrugged.

I can't think of any significant internet figure who managed to turn literally every faction on the internet and everyone he interacted with or affected personally against them to they extent that they all to put aside their differences and jointly piss on his grave.
 
I can't think of any significant internet figure who managed to turn literally every faction on the internet and everyone he interacted with or affected personally against them to they extent that they all to put aside their differences and jointly piss on his grave.
That part almost made me feel sad for him. Almost. Because he really earned it.
 
One thing that was notable I think is the internet's reaction to his death. Usually, whenever a significant internet figure dies, even very controversial ones, there's a majority feeling of some level of grief or loss in the reaction, despite the ever-present gravedancing. Think people like TotalBiscuit and Etika. A lot of people hated them, and those people were not shy about expressing that when they passed. But overall there was a sense of loss. Not so with Lowtax, nobody mourned his passing. Even Fragmaster, who broke the news to the broader internet, didn't seem to be grieving. The tone of the video was of someone announcing the passing of the local bum. "Remember that Lowtax guy? Yeah, he's dead now. Crazy, huh? Makes ya think about life, man."

Most lolcows are seldom missed of course, but Lowtax was more than that - he was the man behind a very important site in the development of internet culture. Millions of people knew who he was. Thousands of people, many of them people with significant audiences, interacted with him enough to say they knew him personally. But none of those people had anything nice to say about him when he died. There was an overwhelming feeling that he had it coming. Usually at least someone will eulogise a dead internet person, but the closest we got was Maplewife's Battered Woman Syndrome posts on SA, where it seemed she still somehow believed all his lies (like his claim he couldn't afford to normalise her immigration status despite leasing sports cars and stuffing his face with $70 pies). Everyone else either said "good" or just shrugged.

I can't think of any significant internet figure who managed to turn literally every faction on the internet and everyone he interacted with or affected personally against them to they extent that they all to put aside their differences and jointly piss on his grave.
Yeah I noticed that too, even the people who didn't actively whip their dicks out to commence the watersports at him didn't seem surprised, which is the major thing

People seemed surprised that Etika and TotalBiscuit and others actually died because it didn't seem real, but Blowtax dying seemed very plausible for a lot of people for a long time
 
The world was indifferent to Lowtax's death because Lowtax was indifferent to the world. He could have done so much but he didn't, and thus his legacy is three traumatized girls and a cameo in the Ultimate Showdown. His passing was treated like the passing of a local bum because he lived like a bum for most of his life: asleep and intoxicated.
 
You can tell nobody cared about lowtax by not even the tranny squad bothering to try to blame kiwifarms for his suicide.
If not even the cross-dressing sex pests you bent the knee to somehow bother to try to take advantage of your death, you took some wrong turns man.
 
One thing that was notable I think is the internet's reaction to his death. Usually, whenever a significant internet figure dies, even very controversial ones, there's a majority feeling of some level of grief or loss in the reaction, despite the ever-present gravedancing. Think people like TotalBiscuit and Etika. A lot of people hated them, and those people were not shy about expressing that when they passed. But overall there was a sense of loss. Not so with Lowtax, nobody mourned his passing. Even Fragmaster, who broke the news to the broader internet, didn't seem to be grieving. The tone of the video was of someone announcing the passing of the local bum. "Remember that Lowtax guy? Yeah, he's dead now. Crazy, huh? Makes ya think about life, man."

Most lolcows are seldom missed of course, but Lowtax was more than that - he was the man behind a very important site in the development of internet culture. Millions of people knew who he was. Thousands of people, many of them people with significant audiences, interacted with him enough to say they knew him personally. But none of those people had anything nice to say about him when he died. There was an overwhelming feeling that he had it coming. Usually at least someone will eulogise a dead internet person, but the closest we got was Maplewife's Battered Woman Syndrome posts on SA, where it seemed she still somehow believed all his lies (like his claim he couldn't afford to normalise her immigration status despite leasing sports cars and stuffing his face with $70 pies). Everyone else either said "good" or just shrugged.

I can't think of any significant internet figure who managed to turn literally every faction on the internet and everyone he interacted with or affected personally against them to they extent that they all to put aside their differences and jointly piss on his grave.
The sense of "he had it coming" was prominent because he extremely had it coming.

Most lolcows have some level of humanizing trait and aren't complete pieces of shit. DarksydePhil is a hapless dope in way over his head constantly, Chibinekodemyx is just made of pure autism, some cows have families and normal relationships with some people and so on.

Lowtax had none of those and was the worst kind of person that exists - a hypocrite.

- Lowtax's major "claim to fame" early on was his fight with eBaumsworld, a website that would steal content and profit off the ad money. He talked tons of shit about them until it was reveled that Something Awful didn't pay anyone on staff, photoshops were paid $0, and Front Page writers were given $10-40 per article all while Lowtax was pocketing $50,000 a month (in early 2000s money, no less).
- Lowtax was a "comedy writer" but wasn't known for comedy writing. Most things SA is famous for (as above) such as "your poison womb" and "give me back my shoes you're a dog" were all written by someone else.
- Lowtax had a "claim to fame" for giving known furries on his forum "stars of yiff" similar to stars of david and started putting their accounts into a "gas chamber". It turns out that Lowtax's close friend and SA admin Shmorky was an avid furry and Lowtax knew about it.
- Lowtax treated SA as "his baby" except when it came to finding admins and mods. Mods would often be literal pedos, absolute weirdos, grifters, and other people that the forums absolutely hated. Money was never invested into the site (despite it making so much of it) and shit just never worked (Archives and such) right.
- Lowtax would lie constantly - he mentioned several times the site wasn't making money (and it always was - it has never been unprofitable in it's entire existence) and even had the gall to crowdfund for upgrades (and then just keep the money)

This is by no means an exhaustive list - everything Lowtax did was wrong, short sighted, selfish, shitty, or careless. I cannot think of one single thing he has ever done correctly and I've been on SA to some degree for like 2 full decades.

Most lolcows have some kind of community - even the most vile ones. For example - Keffals, Dr. Rhys McKinnon, and Rebecca Gerber are all welcome in the weird tranny communities. DSP and LTG have some level of loyal following on streaming platforms, and so on. But Lowtax is rare in that he managed to piss away all goodwill he ever had in every community. He didn't have a good family (because he'd cheat and beat all of his wives and his kids hate him), his own website hates him (because he's been stealing from them for decades), and most posters on his forum hate him because he just did a shiity job as admin the entire time. Anything "good" SA had died when the actual content creators all fucked off to other social media sites.

Lowtax died when he shot himself, obviously, but Lowtax as an "important person" or even as "a person not hated by everyone" died years before that. He was given everything and then pissed it all away and actually alienated every single person that would care so this was the very clear, obvious, and logical conclusion. Most people upon hearing that he died were shocked to learn he was still alive up unto that point.
 
They say that if you enter the graveyard after midnight with a Goldbelly pie and sit quietly by his grave, after some time you'll hear the drip... drip... drip... of sweat falling off of his still-moist toes.

If you need to pass through the graveyard at night, if you carry a Uwe Boll DVD or a Child Support Payment Order, it will frighten off the ghost. Many make the mistake of leaving $10 on his gravestone; you need to convert that $10 into ambien if you wish to appease the spirit. This is not a permanent solution, as the ghost will always be back next year. Even if you do click his links.
 
Not to shit on you guys but the man has been dead for going on 2 years. His mom's dead. There was a successful Go Fund Me for the 2nd ex-wife and his 3rd child. His cunt mother can't terrorize the 2nd ex-wife. There was some kind of bitter sweet happy ending to all of this.

What more is there to say? I would understand if the coroner was still finding bodies on his property or something but ya' know... You're literally beating a dead horse.
Richard, pls stop....
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: BrunoMattei
Back