- Joined
- Mar 15, 2023
If you're reading this, you've likely either encountered this creature in his natural habitat and understand his appeal or are just hearing about this blood thirsty NATO official who demands BRICS blood. So, let's get this out of the way.
Gunther has called for dismantle my country; am I about to be bombed?
NO. It comes up often, but Gunther is not actually in a position of influence in either NATO or the EU. He is not a diplomat and does not speak in any official capacity. He is an investment banker who's last leadership position was Chairman-General of the Small and Medium Enterprises Union of the European People's Party.
Gunther is not a proper lolcow at this point. Several posters have called him a wholesomecow, and I agree with that. Keep reading to see why, but he's simply having too much fun and is so bizarre it's hard to be upset with him. Mostly. With his growing fame on the internet, he's walking a tight rope in several places that could explode into drama, but usually Mr. Magoo's his way through centuries old racial conflicts.
Gunther's prefame years.
Not much to say about him. Gunther was born in Austria and began attending college at Vienna University of Economics and Business in 1991, or as the kids call it, 'eds', where he studied management, business, and international trade. Or as he puts it, Mag, Int Trade and Busi.
O | A
He seems to have flirted with politics as a young student, but ultimately settled into the life of an investment banker. Of note is that he did quite a bit of consulting in Ukraine and Kosovo and has stated it was over privatization of industry that would be happening. He'll be quiet for some time, working his way up the ladder and receiving invitations to professional conferences. He would jump around between Ukraine, Albania, Kosovo, and do a brief stint as an MEP's assistant in Brussels.
Gunther's Struggle
In 2021, Gunther starts his own podcast, Pax Europeana. He's a prolific podcaster, putting out 280 episodes in around 2 years. It's mostly 20-30 minutes of him opining on various minor political issues in Central and Eastern Europe and his general view on the future of Europe. The first episode is a great primer on him and his views. The man lives and breathes regulation and EU expansion. The kind of guy who can speak for 30 minutes unprompted on the benefits of a 21% corporate tax rate in Albania.
The Russian annexation of Crimea in 2014 and further expansion was a shock to his system. History had not ended, and EU values were threatened by unregulated Russians who's trains probably don't even run on time. This desire to return to a more structured world would inspire Gunther to become active on social media.
Why do people think he works for NATO/EU?
If you check his twitter or linkedin, Gunther will state he is the president of the Austria NATO Committee. The full English title, as I can find it, is the Austrian Committee for NATO Membership of Austria, Bosnia, Kosovo, Ukraine and EU 2023. Sometimes Ireland is included. I have called in favors in Brussels to understand where this committee fits into the vast Eurocrat web.
It's Gunther. It's literally just Gunther making up a world salad title for his one man NGO. He's still a financial consultant. If you feel tricked, don't worry, you're neither the first or last. His activist works are posting on Twitter, and it's that work that brought him onto the screen of an increasing amount of confused English speakers and allowed him to build a following. So let's get to what we're here for.
The Twitter.
Gunther's Twitter is a magical place. It's where we see his master plan. He's going to create a European super state. All problems can be solved if everyone joins the EU, NATO, and adopts the Euro. He wants to paint the map blue as only a Paradox games player can. He's called for the EU to join NATO, not just the member states, the EU itself. What does that even mean? Who cares. This is Gunther's world, we just live here. His Twitter feed is him traveling around Europe for work, where he takes selfies of himself making insane demands and threats in front of local land marks. And he fucking loves it. The reason he's not a normal lowcow and gained a following is Gunther is having the time of his life. Some combination of his enthusiasm, poor English, over use of emojis and the fact he makes the same face/pose in half his pictures has made him enduring. He's a harmless goofball living the Teutonic ideal life and plays along with the memes. A golem of Neo-Liberalism, the Form of a Eurocrat in a man, the Post War Order given life. So let's hit some high lights of the Fuherlinger.
SIGHT SEEING FOR NATO:
Man loves it.
I CALL FOR DISMANTLE
One of Gunther's favorite activities is to threaten nations that are neutral or seeking an alternative to the Eurozone (Such as BRICS or OPEC) with dismantling. Usually by tweeting at the head of the county with demands, or he'll call for Dismantle into ExNation
How dedicated is he to the bit? Well, our man is willing to touch the third rail.
That's his serious face, by the way. The Austrian doesn't want to dismantle the Jewish state and spread its people to the wind for undermining European interests.. but he will.
Before you ask, OF COURSE he loves trains. As long as they're on time.
So that's the average day in Gunther's life. Trains, tax rates and travel during the week, insane map games on the weekend. But it has produced some ire from those who confuse him for a NATO official.
First was the Brazil incident. Due to their commitment to BRICS, Gunther called for the dismantling of Brazil into five new states. This got picked up in Brazil as coming direct from NATO, and an early video on Rueter's FB referred to him as a 'NATO official'. NATO would have to clarify he had no relation in a statement that I lost because of his ongoing battle with English Wikipedia.
The Armenia Incident. During escalating tensions with Azerbaijan, Gunther demanded that Armenia join NATO and Joe Biden pledge his protection. This again got picked up as a NATO or EU official stance, leading to Armenia clarifying he is not a spokesman for NATO and the Russians declaring his ideas an wild EU fantasy.
Armenia's response | A
Russia's response | A
Potential drama ahead:
In this section we'll make a list of the international hot spots Gunther has waded into that are likely to produce milk, either in lulz or an international incident. This is where the Serbia stuff is.
The USA:
Potential: Low.
Gunther's takes on American politics are pretty tame, but should serve as a good guide for Americans and other English speakers why exactly Gunther is just too autistic to get upset over. Gunther spent some time as student at a Republican youth caucus, and still identifies with the party, but has shown a stunning lack of understanding of the American political situation and basics of electoral democracy.
Jeb! 2024
That's it, that's the joke. Nothing I could write would improve it.
Gunther's takes on American politics are pretty tame, but should serve as a good guide for Americans and other English speakers why exactly Gunther is just too autistic to get upset over. Gunther spent some time as student at a Republican youth caucus, and still identifies with the party, but has shown a stunning lack of understanding of the American political situation and basics of electoral democracy.
Jeb! 2024
That's it, that's the joke. Nothing I could write would improve it.
Ireland, or Gunther-Ar-La:
Potential: Lower than you'd think.
The Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland, and the rest of UK have had a.. contentious relationship. Gunther how ever has sliced through this Gordian knot and realized the path forward is to just ignore 800 years of history and view it through NATO and the EU. What does that mean? Well, the true villains here are the Irish Neutralists in The Republic. He sees through their plan to slowly pry the UK away from Europe, leaving her vulnerable. Their end game? Irish Anschluss 2023 baby! That's a good name for a lost Pogues demo tbh,
I want to be clear, he's not concerned the IRA are going to return, he means the Republic itself is going to pry the UK from NATO and march on Belfast. Why else would they choose Neutrality? But this alone isn't crazy enough for Fehlinger. He has uncovered another, even more dastardly plot.
THE SERBS AND THE ULSTERMEN ARE TEAMING UP TO BREAK APART THE UK. Truly amazing stuff. Unfortunately for us, the actual inhabitants of the island mostly treat him like an insane homeless man instead of getting worked up.
The Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland, and the rest of UK have had a.. contentious relationship. Gunther how ever has sliced through this Gordian knot and realized the path forward is to just ignore 800 years of history and view it through NATO and the EU. What does that mean? Well, the true villains here are the Irish Neutralists in The Republic. He sees through their plan to slowly pry the UK away from Europe, leaving her vulnerable. Their end game? Irish Anschluss 2023 baby! That's a good name for a lost Pogues demo tbh,
I want to be clear, he's not concerned the IRA are going to return, he means the Republic itself is going to pry the UK from NATO and march on Belfast. Why else would they choose Neutrality? But this alone isn't crazy enough for Fehlinger. He has uncovered another, even more dastardly plot.
THE SERBS AND THE ULSTERMEN ARE TEAMING UP TO BREAK APART THE UK. Truly amazing stuff. Unfortunately for us, the actual inhabitants of the island mostly treat him like an insane homeless man instead of getting worked up.
Israel (Now with a war):
Potential: 6 Million articles
As seen above, Israel's refusal to ship infinity weapons to Ukraine has led Gunther to declare for the 2 state solution. A J*urnalist from politico.eu has pointed out that an Austrian calling for number 110 isn't a good look. But Gunther is so steadfast and autistic he can tank Holocaust shame.
He has so far ascended normal politics into the realm of bureaucracy he'll tell the Jews directly they owe us and the bills due. Only a matter of time until someone gets on his case for this.
10/07/23 update: So war now. Gunther has weighed in with a solution to upset everyone and is dangerously close to landing on an ADL watch list. Starts at page 7.
As seen above, Israel's refusal to ship infinity weapons to Ukraine has led Gunther to declare for the 2 state solution. A J*urnalist from politico.eu has pointed out that an Austrian calling for number 110 isn't a good look. But Gunther is so steadfast and autistic he can tank Holocaust shame.
He has so far ascended normal politics into the realm of bureaucracy he'll tell the Jews directly they owe us and the bills due. Only a matter of time until someone gets on his case for this.
10/07/23 update: So war now. Gunther has weighed in with a solution to upset everyone and is dangerously close to landing on an ADL watch list. Starts at page 7.
India (Actual drama!)
Potential: Sky fucking high.
Gunther has been no fan of India for their membership in BRICS and has called for dismantle several times. This has had a surprisingly muted response from the Pajeets, who should be first in line to sperg out at him. That might have changed recently, when Canada accused the Indian government of an extra judicial killing of a Sikh nationalist on their soil. Starting off slow, Gunther has gotten more and more involved as he learns recent Indian history and decided to jump in feet first.
The fires of Punjab rise. This is my personal hope for a shit show. Let the Aryan cross the Indus and do battle with 1 Billion street shitting Hindus on twitter.
AND HE DID. Our boy has gotten a giant write up in a Hindu newspaper. The Designated Harvesting Posts start here.
Gunther has been no fan of India for their membership in BRICS and has called for dismantle several times. This has had a surprisingly muted response from the Pajeets, who should be first in line to sperg out at him. That might have changed recently, when Canada accused the Indian government of an extra judicial killing of a Sikh nationalist on their soil. Starting off slow, Gunther has gotten more and more involved as he learns recent Indian history and decided to jump in feet first.
The fires of Punjab rise. This is my personal hope for a shit show. Let the Aryan cross the Indus and do battle with 1 Billion street shitting Hindus on twitter.
AND HE DID. Our boy has gotten a giant write up in a Hindu newspaper. The Designated Harvesting Posts start here.
Serbia:
Potential: Jersh gets JDAM'd live on CNN.
Ho boy. Being NATO's strongest soldier and with ties to Kosovo, Gunther is no fan of Serbs. Tensions over the status and future of Kosovo are rising to actual bloodshed and Gunther can't help inserting himself. It's so common and in depth I'm just going to suggest reading the thread starting at page 3, but I'll link some posts.
Ho boy. Being NATO's strongest soldier and with ties to Kosovo, Gunther is no fan of Serbs. Tensions over the status and future of Kosovo are rising to actual bloodshed and Gunther can't help inserting himself. It's so common and in depth I'm just going to suggest reading the thread starting at page 3, but I'll link some posts.
So that should be your primer on the Fuherlinger. This thread is a chronicle of his adventures and memes while we wait for the storm that will blow us out of PG and into open waters. I'll leave you now with the conclusion to his feud with Arnold.
I love this goober. https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3034427855&searchtext=
Special thanks to @The Grognard, @notorietus, @Geranium, Rome's rightful successor and everyone else that's posted memes and sources ITT.
And always, if you speak Serbian or are familiar with European media and wish to help, drop me a line.
Attachments
Last edited:
to Gunther 
in Kiwi 
Farms 
2023 
