- Joined
- Oct 4, 2019
Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention
- Thread starter Petronella
- Start date
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- Joined
- Jun 2, 2020
Iiiiiiii'm a retard and forgot there's a "search this thread only" function. Pls rate autistic.
Unironic thank you though, at least until another 6 months goes by and I forget that function exists again.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2019
If its the person I think it is they also had a thread in "Take That Down" when the father went off on null and demanded info being taken down.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
He sure did.
Also, when doing the in-thread search, I'd suggest using "crisp" or "Bernie" as those are the most likely names to show up in her posts. Iirc, someone's archived the wine tampon here, and it's a terror not to be missed. Same with pretend sped chocolate time. I'm dead certain her efforts at Hannah Montanaing made it here.
She's the only munchie I can think of that tries to pull full on retardation as well as being so "brilliant" she's gonna be on Irish radio. I mean, the pure audacity, just, wow.
Also, when doing the in-thread search, I'd suggest using "crisp" or "Bernie" as those are the most likely names to show up in her posts. Iirc, someone's archived the wine tampon here, and it's a terror not to be missed. Same with pretend sped chocolate time. I'm dead certain her efforts at Hannah Montanaing made it here.
She's the only munchie I can think of that tries to pull full on retardation as well as being so "brilliant" she's gonna be on Irish radio. I mean, the pure audacity, just, wow.
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2021
Also try “Bee”, looks like she started being discussed more around Sep 2019.
WarpedTourWasFun
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 4, 2019
It's my favorite profile image.
Puppy Mutt
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 27, 2020
"Why does no one here like me?!"
*Leaks stomach fluid everywhere on purpose.*
Of course, the one that CFS munchie documentarian made famous. Just as much a trend in its own right as GP, EDS, MCAS etc.
You'd have to be low functioning to truly have SPD too badly to wash your own face. She'd be nonverbal and painting the walls with shit if that were the case. At least she doesn't have to worry about brushing her teeth anymore...
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2021
To circle back on Natalia for a sec, how the fuck did she rot her teeth out so badly by age 23. Like that takes effort.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2023
IMO most of it is the result of her ketamine naps combined with poor dental hygiene and neglecting or not having access to dental care. If you breathe through your mouth when you sleep it dries the absolute fuck out of your mouth which leads to gum disease and tooth decay, and she would be knocked out on ketamine for hours upon hours every single day. A lot of medications can cause dry mouth which would also contribute to tooth decay. This is a lot of assumption on my part but it seems like the most likely explanation.
Papa No-No
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2019
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2020
Her husband looks exhausted. Not convinced she's a classic munchie but it's definitely a weird dynamic they have going on.
Dr. Nick Riviera
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 27, 2023
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say there are three kinds of doctors when it comes to giving patients what they want, even if it is obviously a horrendous idea.
The first kind is probably the most common: the exhausted, overworked doc. They're the ones who are employed by someone, subjected to untenable schedules, patient satisfaction surveys, and innumerable metrics they must meet in order to stay in admin's good graces. They're seeing upwards of 25 patients per day in clinic, their support staff is basically nonexistent, and they're TIRED. So when some chick walks in with a fucking ream of medical records and demands something that is obviously unnecessary but not stupid over the top, these docs will give it to them to make them go away. Usually this is going to be a one-time thing, but this will get them meds, referrals, and equipment they don't need. They then use those records to bolster their case with the next doc, and the next, and the next. . . .
The second kind is the young, altruistic, usually über-woke doc who Believes Her Patients, and trusts that what the patient is telling her is gospel truth. This doc will order the million-dollar workup without hesitation. Slowly, though, it will dawn on her that the million-dollar workup is completely and totally negative, and that the patient's demands have only INCREASED, and she will become the first kind of doctor - jaded and exhausted. Munchies can get a couple of years out of these docs at most, because most doctors aren't stupid. They all figure it out eventually.
The third kind is the most dangerous - the docs who know god damned well their patients are full of shit, and give them what they want anyway because it is lucrative. These are your Paolo Bologneses, your Fraser Hendersons, your Ilene Ruhoys. They run your specialized munchie "centers," all with names like "Center for complex diseases" or "Chiari/EDS institute" or anything with the words Functional, Wellness, Healing, Comprehensive, etc. These "institutes" or "centers" only exist on the internet - in reality, it's one rogue doctor operating out of a strip mall near a hospital or a rented office in a medical office building or one community hospital where they bring in a lot of money and administration looks the other way, because even THEY know what they're doing is shady as fuck. These people are "Lyme-Literate," they specialize in Chiari, Ehlers-Danlos, long Covid, POTS, gastroparesis, and all the favorite munchie diagnoses. All the munchies know these motherfuckers by name. They are all cash pay - none take insurance. And munchies flock to them in DROVES. These docs are the ones who give them their zipper heads, their precious toobs, their central lines, their gastric pacers. Munchies fly out, get their shit, and go home demanding that their regular, non-grifting doctors take care of them. And now that they have had neurosurgery/have toobs and central lines, they're going to have cOmPlIcAtIoNs, for which they can ride the insurance gravy train essentially forever.
The kicker here is that they ALL FUCKING KNOW. All the doctors know a munchie, with the possible exception of the fresh naïfs, but they figure it out as well. There are some docs who refuse to engage, and that's why munchies spend so much time doctor shopping. Eventually, they'll get what they want.
Jupiter Doughnuts
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2024
I'm leaning more towards severe depression with somatic symptoms and denial than outright munchie here - she doesn't seem nearly as adjustable as the rest of these girls and her social media presence has plummeted. Too bad she's going to quack functional medicine types instead of getting on antidepressants (or honestly this might warrant ECT).
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2019
Claiming this 'might warrant ECT' on the basis of this one video is a helluva claim, friendo. I'd suggest some CBT and a low-dose antidepressant is a better place to start, very few people in the already relatively small cohort of depressives who are truly treatment-resistant will end up actually needing ECT, and I'm not convinced this bish is in that cohort to begin with.
If you're suggesting we randomly shock her until she desists from her stupid munchies lies as some sort of human shock/aversion therapy, however? That I would definitely condone. Every time she munches or opens social media? That's a
Jupiter Doughnuts
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2024
I suppose I was taking the claim that she's been bedbound for a year at face value. But good point, there's no reason to believe she's treatment resistant.
Randomly shocking would be hilarious and I'd bet that shocking Long Covid/CFS people until they actually moved would have a high "cure" rate. Nothing is worse for fatigue than leaning into it and lying in bed 24/7.
The video reminds me so much of this cumtown clip on CFS/fake women's diseases.
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2019
We say it all the time, I know, but deconditioning is such a hilariously self-perpetuating cycle for so many of these people. I know they'd cry ableism if anyone dared suggest it to their faces, but getting out of the unnecessary wheelchair and doing something strenuous once or twice a week would likely cure most of them of 90% of their claimed conditions.
I was joking at first but really, why don't we just wire up their beds and chairs and shock them into using their legs for a few hours a day? It would be funny for us and good for them in the long run. Plus, we'd get to see Beefany walking for the first time in probably years. And it would certainly separate the actually legit-disabled from the munch bunch...
slight edit for typos and coherency issues
Last edited:
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2018
Who is next? Maybe another 35+ year old unemployed woman named Jessica who sits in her mom’s house playing with toys and blogging about her wonderful compassionate neurologist? Or the one who assigns her followers required reading and provides them helpful lists of all her 50+ diagnoses and the number of doctors she had to see to acquire each of them? Or the one who has been trying to get on disability for a decade and posts hilarious stories of why she got rejected for the nth time? Or the one who stalks a boy band from the 90s including traveling internationally to see them while claiming to be practically bedbound?
Surprise, they’re the same person. Jessica d/b/a @invisiblechaosblog is a Long Island gal in her late 30s who has spent the last ten years of her life bleeding her boomer parents’ finances dry while she tries desperately to convince the government that she's too sick to work and deserves free money from them too. Jessica is not one with any port-n-tube medical drama, no toy-chasing or hospitalizations, no service dog or wheelchair. She is entirely a failmunchie who keeps being told the one word she should have been told from her youth: "no." Jessica's entire extensive social media gives away daily that she's only "sick" unless there's something fun to do and fully capable of both maintaining a schedule and performing work when it's something she thinks might help get get famous for something,
Thanks for that little challenge about how you can’t connect your social media to your real name Jessica! It was really enjoyable. And we haven't even made it up to the namesake blog yet!
Surprise, they’re the same person. Jessica d/b/a @invisiblechaosblog is a Long Island gal in her late 30s who has spent the last ten years of her life bleeding her boomer parents’ finances dry while she tries desperately to convince the government that she's too sick to work and deserves free money from them too. Jessica is not one with any port-n-tube medical drama, no toy-chasing or hospitalizations, no service dog or wheelchair. She is entirely a failmunchie who keeps being told the one word she should have been told from her youth: "no." Jessica's entire extensive social media gives away daily that she's only "sick" unless there's something fun to do and fully capable of both maintaining a schedule and performing work when it's something she thinks might help get get famous for something,
As we know, insta is my preferred hunting grounds and so it's there we begin with @invisiblechaosblog, which starts in 2019. Our intrepid heroine Jessica is 34 years old, lives on Long Island, New York, about an hour outside of Manhattan, and she has all our favorite diseases and is going to list them c. She had PANDAS as a kid, that disease that doesn’t exist that’s used by yuppie parents to claim their nightmare brats are not their fault. But it wasn’t “discovered” yet so she couldn’t get diagnosed. Instead she was diagnosed OCD at 8 and anxiety and depression along with it. Against this backdrop she also started having stomach problems, diagnosed as IBS at 11. After years of totally not psychosomatic issues she was diagnosed POTS, a Sjogren-like autoimmune diseases that isn’t Sjogren, HSD/EDS (these are not synonymous, munchie), Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder (she goes to bed too late), Small Fiber Neuropathy, PCOS, vestibular dysfunction, cognitive impairment (symptom), migraines, and more! Wow, what an intro!
We jump right into POTS sperging with the easily fucked with amazon pulse ox. Many things can cause this result like, yanno, sitting around all day then doing some vigorous activity before you pop it on your fingertip.
Her sleep schedule getting worse seems to coincide with her having a magical glowing internet box glued to her hands and many online platforms where she can talk endlessly about herself. How odd and unexpected.
She’s started IV fluids for her POTS because god forbid these girls ever just chug some gatorade. Of course she has terrible veins and she needs a PICC or port for this life saving treatment, even though so far it hasn’t helped except with her dry mouth and dry eyes. Lol she’s dehydrating herself on purpose. This is the only time she ever posts about this and she never gets a port. I'm telling you, if you're in this for hospital drama, turn back now. She's not going to give you what you want. In the comments someone says they're alarmed by how many people are getting ports for salt water and Jess says she TOTES AGREES except it's still the only option for someone getting salt water and/or IVIG several times a week. If someone is getting IVIG several times a week for POTS I hope Hell is really extra hot when they arrive.
Suddenly covered in hives.
It’s from her new carpet off-gassing.
The dreaded “but you don’t look sick,” worst insult you can ever give a spoonie warrior. This minor rash on her face is obviously the tail end of what was once a horrible full body rash like you wouldn’t imagine, but she’s not going to show us that. A doctor tells her it’s probably just from a virus she had and not her carpet.
She goes to urgent care and gets pred for it. People tell her to check out Cheyanne’s account. #mastcellactivationsyndrome. She lets us know lupus has been investigated and ruled out multiple times. She also tells us that she can't work and keeps getting denied SSDI.
Her allergic reaction is now changing every few hours. The steroids made it go away but it came back when she went off the pred. One of her doctors is sure this is MCAS and all of her doctors suspect she has that even though it’s never been diagnosed.
BACK STORY! Her illness started after her grandma fell down and broke a bunch of bones. Grandma survived but spent the rest of her time in the hospital, disoriented, unaware of who anyone was, and asking to see her parents. The stress was too much and Jess had to drop out of school, but continued working as a waitress. She got strep a bunch of times which knocked her off her feet and then tried to get in better shape with a personal trainer, but after a minute of exercising she’d almost pass out. She went to a cardiololgist who did a stress test and told her she was fine but she later learned she had an abnormal heart rate from deconditioning. Obviously that was really POTS. Then she got a new beau and started a new job, but life had other plans…
As soon as she got the new job she started complaining of dizziness and thought she had vertigo but doctors said no, just exercise and drink water. Then she passed out at her new job and she’s been dizzy ever since. She got diagnosed with fibro and took too many days off for that and migraines so she quit her job. Then she got diagnosed POTS by TTT which is that thing you can fake out by being deconditioned and dehydrated. She tried to apply for disability in Summer 2015 and it’s been in appeals for the past four and a half years. After years of apparently nothing happening except an unfortunate broken ankle, she was diagnosed HSD “only a few points away from a full Ehlers Danlos diagnosis” in 2018. LMAO the Beighton scale she’s referring to here – and she’ll confirm it’s the Beighton in a later post - only has nine points. You score one for each joint on the list that moves beyond the expected range. They test each wrist (pull thumb down to wrist), elbow, knee, and pinkie finger (pull backwards beyond a 90 degree angle), and the 9th point is bending to touch your toes. Not only can you pretty easily train all of these, a whole ass ton of perfectly healthy people will be able to do all of these things naturally just because it’s how their bodies do. I’m guessing like half or more of the women reading here would qualify for a “Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder” diagnosis if we’re going by that scale, even being hypermobile for all 9 does not mean you have a CT disorder, and “a few points off” from an EDS diagnosis is what we call not an EDS diagnosis. Anyway, we know this one: young woman finds man, has sudden decline in health, is enabled in her quest to lay around doing fuck all.
Summer 2018 she had a CANCER!!!! scare. Her lymphocytes were high on several rounds of bloodwork and she was referred to hemoncology who says probably not cancer, but something fucky is going on. A few months later they retested her and whoops it’s nothing she's fine. Then she went on a weight loss journey using Weight Watchers, then broke up with her man.
Flash forward to “today” when she’s still trying to get on disability and cruelly being told she isn’t disabled. They wrote a ten page report accusing her of making up all her health problems because she’s fine when she has something fun to do LMAO MUNCHIE BTFO. Her new MCAS symptoms are because her parents replaced the carpet in the room she lives in after a flood.
#eczema. Kind of funny that every photo she shows of it is immediately post-shower. My fellow eczemafags know what I'm talking about: hot showers are like a guaranteed way to make your eczema POP! You're supposed to take short, lukewarm showers with mild products, no scrubbing, pat yourself dry, and then lotion the fuck out of yourself immediately after. Don't even open the shower door if you can avoid it because the humidity will help with the moisturizer - I'm pretty sure my blood type is hyaluronic. In the comments, someone tells her how to get an MCAS diagnosis even if the tests for it are negative. She name drops a doctor, Dr. Anne Maitland in Tarrytown, NY.
Maitland is an immunologist with an interest in MCAS who somehow also specializes in connective tissue disorders, especially EDS. And her website, like trevino's, has tons of links that lead to placeholder pages. Oh boy howdy!
Dr. Maitland's reviews are what we expect from our diagnosis mills: people saying she’s the BEST doctor who is the only one who listened to their very complex and unique health issues, and the other half complaining about how she charges high fees out of pocket for her time, doesn’t take insurance, and diagnoses people with conflicting things that make no sense.
And she writes about medical gaslighting and how special spoonie zebras are just misunderstood by their terrible doctors. Welp.
In Feb 2020 Jessica goes to see Dr. Maitland and she’s already expecting a false negative on whatever tests she has with her. She also sees a dermatologist for patch testing and a skin biopsy, neither of which is diagnostic for MCAS
In the comments she says that her "reaction" is most severe when she's freshly showered and even if she showers immediately before she gets to the new doctor's office it won't look bad by the time she gets there. Lmao so the "offgassing" carpet is just eczema short-term exacerbated by hot showers and whatever bath products she's using.
She gets a patch test. That nasty one on her right is sodium thiosulfoaurate which she says is gold. No, gold is… gold. I actually googled the term and one of the top hits for it was her instagram and most places seem to think this thing doesn’t exist (0 exact matches on Brave Browser’s native search, for example). A few less-than-trustworthy places listed it as being a compound in some dental fillings and also maybe being used in jewelry? I don’t know man. There's something called sodium thiosulfate which makes more sense to me because it's used in some skin treatments as an antifungal and in certain pool chemicals. The rest of what she lists are various preservatives and oils used in cosmetics and skincare products. Short answer: she has contact dermatitis from a few things and needs products marketed for sensitive skin. They make CeraVe for this reason.
Then she goes dark. She doesn’t update until August 2020 where she’s complaining that Covid kept her from running to the doctor every five minutes, so that’s why she’s had nothing to share, but now that things are starting to calm down she’s back to find some answers. Her POTS has gotten worse while she’s been cooped up in her house doing nothing for five months, a true mystery. She’s trying to squeeze in as many doctors as she can and wants to start IVIG soon. She’s stopped talking about her IV saline and never got a picc or port.
A hurricane knocks out her power and she has to go two whole entire days without central air. How will she ever survive?
She turns 35 in October. If you hadn’t already gathered, she lives at home because she can’t (read: doesn’t want to) work and her disability claim keeps getting rejected. She's bitter that she's getting old and going nowhere with life because no one will give her free money. Her default selfie face is making me laugh a lot. She’s going for “smolder” but giving us “uncomfortable burning sensation.” She's claiming she looks younger than she is because of EDS. First of all, lol. Lax collagen would cause you to look older than you are (see dEDS which has severe skin involvement and causes people with it to look many years older than they are.) But also no, you look your age. I'd guess somewhere in the 32-37 range from this image with no other context. Under eye wrinkles, nasolabial folds, forehead. . . if you showed me this and said she was in her 20s I'd be REEEEing about sunscreen.
Then she’s silent until May 2021. Watching a documentary about POTS makes her POTS flare, munchie see munchie do. She's angry that this documentary showed only "high functioning" POTSies who can hold jobs and live normal lives with treatment and didn't show the "reality" of the illness where it's so disabling they can't work or function and live in constant pain and misery. She has dozens of diagnoses, many of which go hand-in-hand with POTS, and the documentary only mentioned migraines. It also didn't mention Covid-induced POTS at all!! I wonder why . . .
Congratulations on being deconditioned and dehydrated. Back to pursuing IVIG. You know that scarce blood product that takes thousands of plasma donations to make a single dose and saves the lives of people with major immune dysfunctions? Yeah that one, she wants it even though she says it won’t even do anything for her main symptoms.
This is misogyny, Jeopardy!! DO BETTER!!!! If I ever hear someone say “do better” like this in real life I don’t think I’ll be able to stop my fist from contacting their word-hole.
~pamper yourself~ with facials and massages when you’re unemployed and leeching off your parents. Let this level of entitlement guide the way for the rest of this: Jessica thinks she deserves all sorts of things including luxury pamperings at the spa, vacations, material goods, a house of her own, and most importantly fame.
She gets her thyroid scanned. Three nodules were found. Thyroid nodules are almost always incidental findings because most of them do nothing. Several endocrinologists have blown her off about her thyroid woes but then finally someone agrees to do an ultrasound after she begs. This endocrinologist also seems to think her multinodular thyroid is a nothingburger not causing her any problems. Hashimotos? Probably not. But add it to her 50 diagnoses anyway! Her primary wants her to see 15 other specialists including a neurosurgeon for CCI, pain management, a surgeon for her TMJ, an ENT (she’s seen three already!), and a new psychologist who understands she’s akshully sick and it’s not in her head.
What is it about her face in this one that just gives me customer service PTSD? I haven’t worked customer service in years but I can just see her marching up to my counter to demand compensation for some imagined slight. She has had a stomachache constantly since she was 11 and has been dizzy every day since 2013, she always has a headache and joint pain. I wonder why her doctors don’t believe her stories.
Constantly dizzy and vomiting. Swinging in a hammock. Pick one. It’s okay, she’s always dizzy from her vestibular dysfunction so rocking in a hammock just feels totally normal to her. Not sure that’s how that works.
We used to call this being “double jointed” and it was a party trick, not a disability.
We jump right into POTS sperging with the easily fucked with amazon pulse ox. Many things can cause this result like, yanno, sitting around all day then doing some vigorous activity before you pop it on your fingertip.
Her sleep schedule getting worse seems to coincide with her having a magical glowing internet box glued to her hands and many online platforms where she can talk endlessly about herself. How odd and unexpected.
She’s started IV fluids for her POTS because god forbid these girls ever just chug some gatorade. Of course she has terrible veins and she needs a PICC or port for this life saving treatment, even though so far it hasn’t helped except with her dry mouth and dry eyes. Lol she’s dehydrating herself on purpose. This is the only time she ever posts about this and she never gets a port. I'm telling you, if you're in this for hospital drama, turn back now. She's not going to give you what you want. In the comments someone says they're alarmed by how many people are getting ports for salt water and Jess says she TOTES AGREES except it's still the only option for someone getting salt water and/or IVIG several times a week. If someone is getting IVIG several times a week for POTS I hope Hell is really extra hot when they arrive.
Suddenly covered in hives.
It’s from her new carpet off-gassing.
The dreaded “but you don’t look sick,” worst insult you can ever give a spoonie warrior. This minor rash on her face is obviously the tail end of what was once a horrible full body rash like you wouldn’t imagine, but she’s not going to show us that. A doctor tells her it’s probably just from a virus she had and not her carpet.
She goes to urgent care and gets pred for it. People tell her to check out Cheyanne’s account. #mastcellactivationsyndrome. She lets us know lupus has been investigated and ruled out multiple times. She also tells us that she can't work and keeps getting denied SSDI.
Her allergic reaction is now changing every few hours. The steroids made it go away but it came back when she went off the pred. One of her doctors is sure this is MCAS and all of her doctors suspect she has that even though it’s never been diagnosed.
BACK STORY! Her illness started after her grandma fell down and broke a bunch of bones. Grandma survived but spent the rest of her time in the hospital, disoriented, unaware of who anyone was, and asking to see her parents. The stress was too much and Jess had to drop out of school, but continued working as a waitress. She got strep a bunch of times which knocked her off her feet and then tried to get in better shape with a personal trainer, but after a minute of exercising she’d almost pass out. She went to a cardiololgist who did a stress test and told her she was fine but she later learned she had an abnormal heart rate from deconditioning. Obviously that was really POTS. Then she got a new beau and started a new job, but life had other plans…
As soon as she got the new job she started complaining of dizziness and thought she had vertigo but doctors said no, just exercise and drink water. Then she passed out at her new job and she’s been dizzy ever since. She got diagnosed with fibro and took too many days off for that and migraines so she quit her job. Then she got diagnosed POTS by TTT which is that thing you can fake out by being deconditioned and dehydrated. She tried to apply for disability in Summer 2015 and it’s been in appeals for the past four and a half years. After years of apparently nothing happening except an unfortunate broken ankle, she was diagnosed HSD “only a few points away from a full Ehlers Danlos diagnosis” in 2018. LMAO the Beighton scale she’s referring to here – and she’ll confirm it’s the Beighton in a later post - only has nine points. You score one for each joint on the list that moves beyond the expected range. They test each wrist (pull thumb down to wrist), elbow, knee, and pinkie finger (pull backwards beyond a 90 degree angle), and the 9th point is bending to touch your toes. Not only can you pretty easily train all of these, a whole ass ton of perfectly healthy people will be able to do all of these things naturally just because it’s how their bodies do. I’m guessing like half or more of the women reading here would qualify for a “Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder” diagnosis if we’re going by that scale, even being hypermobile for all 9 does not mean you have a CT disorder, and “a few points off” from an EDS diagnosis is what we call not an EDS diagnosis. Anyway, we know this one: young woman finds man, has sudden decline in health, is enabled in her quest to lay around doing fuck all.
Summer 2018 she had a CANCER!!!! scare. Her lymphocytes were high on several rounds of bloodwork and she was referred to hemoncology who says probably not cancer, but something fucky is going on. A few months later they retested her and whoops it’s nothing she's fine. Then she went on a weight loss journey using Weight Watchers, then broke up with her man.
Flash forward to “today” when she’s still trying to get on disability and cruelly being told she isn’t disabled. They wrote a ten page report accusing her of making up all her health problems because she’s fine when she has something fun to do LMAO MUNCHIE BTFO. Her new MCAS symptoms are because her parents replaced the carpet in the room she lives in after a flood.
#eczema. Kind of funny that every photo she shows of it is immediately post-shower. My fellow eczemafags know what I'm talking about: hot showers are like a guaranteed way to make your eczema POP! You're supposed to take short, lukewarm showers with mild products, no scrubbing, pat yourself dry, and then lotion the fuck out of yourself immediately after. Don't even open the shower door if you can avoid it because the humidity will help with the moisturizer - I'm pretty sure my blood type is hyaluronic. In the comments, someone tells her how to get an MCAS diagnosis even if the tests for it are negative. She name drops a doctor, Dr. Anne Maitland in Tarrytown, NY.
Maitland is an immunologist with an interest in MCAS who somehow also specializes in connective tissue disorders, especially EDS. And her website, like trevino's, has tons of links that lead to placeholder pages. Oh boy howdy!
Dr. Maitland's reviews are what we expect from our diagnosis mills: people saying she’s the BEST doctor who is the only one who listened to their very complex and unique health issues, and the other half complaining about how she charges high fees out of pocket for her time, doesn’t take insurance, and diagnoses people with conflicting things that make no sense.
And she writes about medical gaslighting and how special spoonie zebras are just misunderstood by their terrible doctors. Welp.
In Feb 2020 Jessica goes to see Dr. Maitland and she’s already expecting a false negative on whatever tests she has with her. She also sees a dermatologist for patch testing and a skin biopsy, neither of which is diagnostic for MCAS
In the comments she says that her "reaction" is most severe when she's freshly showered and even if she showers immediately before she gets to the new doctor's office it won't look bad by the time she gets there. Lmao so the "offgassing" carpet is just eczema short-term exacerbated by hot showers and whatever bath products she's using.
She gets a patch test. That nasty one on her right is sodium thiosulfoaurate which she says is gold. No, gold is… gold. I actually googled the term and one of the top hits for it was her instagram and most places seem to think this thing doesn’t exist (0 exact matches on Brave Browser’s native search, for example). A few less-than-trustworthy places listed it as being a compound in some dental fillings and also maybe being used in jewelry? I don’t know man. There's something called sodium thiosulfate which makes more sense to me because it's used in some skin treatments as an antifungal and in certain pool chemicals. The rest of what she lists are various preservatives and oils used in cosmetics and skincare products. Short answer: she has contact dermatitis from a few things and needs products marketed for sensitive skin. They make CeraVe for this reason.
Then she goes dark. She doesn’t update until August 2020 where she’s complaining that Covid kept her from running to the doctor every five minutes, so that’s why she’s had nothing to share, but now that things are starting to calm down she’s back to find some answers. Her POTS has gotten worse while she’s been cooped up in her house doing nothing for five months, a true mystery. She’s trying to squeeze in as many doctors as she can and wants to start IVIG soon. She’s stopped talking about her IV saline and never got a picc or port.
A hurricane knocks out her power and she has to go two whole entire days without central air. How will she ever survive?
She turns 35 in October. If you hadn’t already gathered, she lives at home because she can’t (read: doesn’t want to) work and her disability claim keeps getting rejected. She's bitter that she's getting old and going nowhere with life because no one will give her free money. Her default selfie face is making me laugh a lot. She’s going for “smolder” but giving us “uncomfortable burning sensation.” She's claiming she looks younger than she is because of EDS. First of all, lol. Lax collagen would cause you to look older than you are (see dEDS which has severe skin involvement and causes people with it to look many years older than they are.) But also no, you look your age. I'd guess somewhere in the 32-37 range from this image with no other context. Under eye wrinkles, nasolabial folds, forehead. . . if you showed me this and said she was in her 20s I'd be REEEEing about sunscreen.
Then she’s silent until May 2021. Watching a documentary about POTS makes her POTS flare, munchie see munchie do. She's angry that this documentary showed only "high functioning" POTSies who can hold jobs and live normal lives with treatment and didn't show the "reality" of the illness where it's so disabling they can't work or function and live in constant pain and misery. She has dozens of diagnoses, many of which go hand-in-hand with POTS, and the documentary only mentioned migraines. It also didn't mention Covid-induced POTS at all!! I wonder why . . .
Congratulations on being deconditioned and dehydrated. Back to pursuing IVIG. You know that scarce blood product that takes thousands of plasma donations to make a single dose and saves the lives of people with major immune dysfunctions? Yeah that one, she wants it even though she says it won’t even do anything for her main symptoms.
This is misogyny, Jeopardy!! DO BETTER!!!! If I ever hear someone say “do better” like this in real life I don’t think I’ll be able to stop my fist from contacting their word-hole.
~pamper yourself~ with facials and massages when you’re unemployed and leeching off your parents. Let this level of entitlement guide the way for the rest of this: Jessica thinks she deserves all sorts of things including luxury pamperings at the spa, vacations, material goods, a house of her own, and most importantly fame.
She gets her thyroid scanned. Three nodules were found. Thyroid nodules are almost always incidental findings because most of them do nothing. Several endocrinologists have blown her off about her thyroid woes but then finally someone agrees to do an ultrasound after she begs. This endocrinologist also seems to think her multinodular thyroid is a nothingburger not causing her any problems. Hashimotos? Probably not. But add it to her 50 diagnoses anyway! Her primary wants her to see 15 other specialists including a neurosurgeon for CCI, pain management, a surgeon for her TMJ, an ENT (she’s seen three already!), and a new psychologist who understands she’s akshully sick and it’s not in her head.
What is it about her face in this one that just gives me customer service PTSD? I haven’t worked customer service in years but I can just see her marching up to my counter to demand compensation for some imagined slight. She has had a stomachache constantly since she was 11 and has been dizzy every day since 2013, she always has a headache and joint pain. I wonder why her doctors don’t believe her stories.
Constantly dizzy and vomiting. Swinging in a hammock. Pick one. It’s okay, she’s always dizzy from her vestibular dysfunction so rocking in a hammock just feels totally normal to her. Not sure that’s how that works.
We used to call this being “double jointed” and it was a party trick, not a disability.
It’s now 2022 and she’s going to turn her life around. Stop faking sick, get a job, and move forward with her life? Nah. She’s going to get into hobbies her parents already bought the equipment for only to have her never touch it! She spent years being too depressed to create. This is her year!
She has a Weim named Cooper and he’s v. cute. He has his own insta, of course. Nothing interesting at all, just dog pics with cutesy captions that rarely even mention Jess. He’s just a pet and she doesn’t seem to have any interest in obtaining a service dog. Let’s all take a moment to appreciate this rare phenomenon.
From his account we find her personal, @yesterdaysprize. Unfortunately it’s private. Fortunately, she’s one of those people who loves to reuse a handle and now we have a new one to look into.
From this I found her Xwitter, but all she does is post about celebrities and politisperg about the evil republicans.
And a DeviantArt under the same handle going way back to 2006. There’s only a few photos, no real info about her and it’s not so interesting.
And a tumblr under the same handle, last updated 12 years ago. She uses it only briefly to post about things she wants but can’t afford (pls buy???) and pics of baby animals.
And finally, a youtube which only has short clips of live music from concerts she attended. The only way I even know it’s her is because the bands she’s going to see are ones she mentions liking on other platforms.
There's also a "vintage shop" @chaosintoartvintage linked in the bio of the personal insta. Again it's really just not that interesting.
But there's a linktree in the bio. We’ll get to that last one due time but for now, I just wanna know her whole name. All I know so far is her first name is Jessica and she’s somewhere on Long Island. Usually these girls give me their whole name either on purpose or through a poorly-redacted hospital bracelet or pill bottle. Jessica doesn’t.
On her website ChaosIntoArt and its companion insta and facebook, we don’t really learn more (other than that her handmade jewelry is just putting cheap charms on chains or making bead letter bracelets like the ones my nine-year-old neighbors gave me).
Depop doesn't help at all although it seems to be where she's still actively selling. Not much, but at least she has things you can purchase if you want unlike most of her other shit that's marked on hiatus.
Etsy gives us a location, or at least a past location: Seaford, NY. That helps if we get a last name but I’m sure she’s not the only Jessica in Seaford.
Poshmark gives us a last initial and confirms the Seaford location. So close . . .
there's a tiktok but her handle has changed so the link is dead.
Well that was easy enough.
And it gives us another Linktree to mine for info.
Amazon doesn't really help us although her wishlists are funny and trust me, we will laugh at them.
Youtube has no content.
Facebook just reposts her insta posts.
Not that I was going to join it but the discord link is dead.
Venmo and CashApp both just have her as Jessica D. This is so vexing.
Ahh good old Paypal.
Hello Jessica DiStefano of 1798 Norm Place, Seaford NY!
Satellite of the house, looks like the same kidney-shaped pool with red brick patio with white crushed stone planters from Insta to me.
There’s a reason I really wanted to know this one’s full name. Sometimes I don’t bother with actual dox because that’s not the funny part IMO. But this one in particular is very confident that her dramatic spoonie social media she wastes hours daily on won’t be found by the people investigating her for disability eligibility because it’s not connected to her full name, even after people warn her that her presence is a massive liability. It took me approximately...
…six minutes from when I asked my buddy if she’d been doxed yet to bringing up her full name and address on FastPeopleSearch.
And that was doing it the slow, drunk way of clicking through links to see if she fucked up somewhere. If you type “chaosintoart” into google her linkedin pops right up even though the website is no longer listed on her page.
For the record, it takes even less time in reverse. If you already know her name and city a quick search on social media indexes like PeekYou brings up her ubiquitous chaosintoart handle next to a photo of her face. From that handle you can find the insta shop which links to her sickstagram in the bio. I don't know if checking for social media is really part of the process (it should be, imo) but if so i'm really curious as to how much they found.
With a name and town I can easily find a facebook. Like she said, It’s mostly private with only a few scattered posts. The only things she really leaves public are her profile and banner pic changes so it’s more or less just photos of her making almost exactly the same face over and over and not much interesting.
This is apparently the guy she was almost married to, who no longer is on facebook.
This one is interesting thanks to the comments: IATA, the international air transport association.
Thank you for confirming this is your Linkedin. I had a flicker of questioning myself when I didn’t see the chaosintoart website listed but I guess she just scrubbed it to hide an income stream. Her dream job of the past was as a wholesale travel saleswoman, neato! We learn that she studied interior design for three years at community college and visual communications at Farmingdale State University, which is the school she dropped out of. Also lines up with her story about dropping out of school but keeping up a server job since it says she worked at TGIFriday’s a year longer than she was in school.
Back to facebook. The only face this girl can make is to hold the camera above eye level, turn her head to one side, purse her lips, and eyefuck herself. It’s an uncanny impersonation of Blue Steel, except no one told her that was a joke and she should not actually do it.
it’s almost unbelievable, when I see a photo when she’s not doing that stupid face I wonder if it’s even her.
Her life according to Facebook is pretty much what you’d expect. Everything’s fine. She travels, she goes out with friends, she loses her grandparents.
Here's the new/current boyfriend. Life still totally normal.
She kept posting pictures of these three gents saying she was hanging out with “Hanson,” and she also posted them in one of her insta posts… I know of Hanson in the past tense, that boy band that did Mmmbop back in the 90s and I almost threw my sister’s CD player out the window so I wouldn’t have to hear that fucking song one more time and then it was over and we never saw them again. I thought Jess was making a joke that these male friends of hers that she goes on vacation with looked like them all grown up. It took me several years of this to realize no, that’s actually Hanson. They’re still around and they do annual fanclub events in Jamaica, four days of fun in the sun and fan meets. It costs thousands of dollars to attend them, and this is what she’s doing year after year. I had no idea they even made music after Mmmbop or still had a fanclub, let alone a dedicated one that would pay to do things like this. These events sell out and have a waitlist. I’ve sat here for 20 minutes trying to conclude this paragraph in a way that expresses how I feel right now but I don’t even know there’s a word in English for this. It’s like amused and very slightly disturbed bewilderment with a candy coating of cringe. The Germans probably figured it out.
I looked into Hanson’s fandom and it’s as expected. Apparently the youngest one had a pinterest board that leaked and it was a bunch of pro-gun memes and dunking on trannies and he was forced to bend the knee to the screeching adult women who, for some reason, thought some good ole’ Christian boys from Oklahoma were on the same page as them re: every single social justice trend. The oldest one also posted some shit about the pandemic that made the covid Karens rend their garms. This led to a cancellation attempt by the “fansons” because fandom culture is actual cancer. As a side note to this side note, Jessica’s Pinterest is pretty boring, but she has an old album called “Swoon” full of men she thinks are attractive, including two of the Hansons.
The third one gets no pins because apparently all the cute boy genes were distributed evenly between his brothers, but clicking those brings up suggestions with him in them. Every photo of this man is hilarious at 4 am after a few drinks. At least he seems to know he's the goofy looking motherfucker of the family.
She has another board called “the music lives” that is all Hanson.
Her “life with chronic illness” board is almost all about fibro and includes pins of doctor oz.
Then a bunch of boards for “noms” including one that’s all gluten free.
And this one’s just tragic. “the future” which is all wedding and pregnancy pics, kids’ first day of school, and ideas for keepsakes and crafts to do with your child. This one was last updated very recently (not as recently as this SS suggests; it was taken back in November) and I am frightened and hoping this is just fantasizing and not a plan to babytrap her man. That’s enough pinterest for one day.
Finally in 2017, the first public healthpost on Facebook. It’s just saying she got diagnosed POTS in 2014 and there’s no cure.
Aww, I was wondering when she was gonna get chunky!
Sometimes when she does the selfie face, she slightly parts her lips. I think she thinks its sultry but it just gives me “did I forget the stove on?” vibes.
Lol fun with smartphone camera focal length. She slightly changed the angle of her head for this one and now her chin is distorted and she looks like a goldfish. No wonder she sticks to Blue Steel. Magnum just wasn’t ready for the public yet.
And that’s it. The only things we learned from her facebook and pinterest are she spends thousands of dollars to stalk a 90’s boy band, was once in the travel industry, has baby fever, and might suffer some kind of disorder that causes her to be unable to change her facial expression while in the presence of cameras.
With a name I also found her modelmayhem account from 2006 where she’s seeking commercial work and instead told she’s plus sized and flabby with childbearing hips, has a big nose, and should not quit her day job any time soon. Uhmmmmm obviously she’s not because she’s an actress. This whole modeling thing is just for the exposure for her burgeoning acting career, obviously. And how dare u call her plus sized!? Oh god I love delusional tits like this. Not much is going to top Jamie Bruce trying to be a K-pop star but this woman who can only stare angrily with her lips pursed thinking she can be a model or actress hasn’t exactly disappointed. https://archive.ph/6EJLj
She has a Weim named Cooper and he’s v. cute. He has his own insta, of course. Nothing interesting at all, just dog pics with cutesy captions that rarely even mention Jess. He’s just a pet and she doesn’t seem to have any interest in obtaining a service dog. Let’s all take a moment to appreciate this rare phenomenon.
From his account we find her personal, @yesterdaysprize. Unfortunately it’s private. Fortunately, she’s one of those people who loves to reuse a handle and now we have a new one to look into.
From this I found her Xwitter, but all she does is post about celebrities and politisperg about the evil republicans.
And a DeviantArt under the same handle going way back to 2006. There’s only a few photos, no real info about her and it’s not so interesting.
And a tumblr under the same handle, last updated 12 years ago. She uses it only briefly to post about things she wants but can’t afford (pls buy???) and pics of baby animals.
And finally, a youtube which only has short clips of live music from concerts she attended. The only way I even know it’s her is because the bands she’s going to see are ones she mentions liking on other platforms.
There's also a "vintage shop" @chaosintoartvintage linked in the bio of the personal insta. Again it's really just not that interesting.
But there's a linktree in the bio. We’ll get to that last one due time but for now, I just wanna know her whole name. All I know so far is her first name is Jessica and she’s somewhere on Long Island. Usually these girls give me their whole name either on purpose or through a poorly-redacted hospital bracelet or pill bottle. Jessica doesn’t.
On her website ChaosIntoArt and its companion insta and facebook, we don’t really learn more (other than that her handmade jewelry is just putting cheap charms on chains or making bead letter bracelets like the ones my nine-year-old neighbors gave me).
Depop doesn't help at all although it seems to be where she's still actively selling. Not much, but at least she has things you can purchase if you want unlike most of her other shit that's marked on hiatus.
Etsy gives us a location, or at least a past location: Seaford, NY. That helps if we get a last name but I’m sure she’s not the only Jessica in Seaford.
Poshmark gives us a last initial and confirms the Seaford location. So close . . .
there's a tiktok but her handle has changed so the link is dead.
Well that was easy enough.
And it gives us another Linktree to mine for info.
Amazon doesn't really help us although her wishlists are funny and trust me, we will laugh at them.
Youtube has no content.
Facebook just reposts her insta posts.
Not that I was going to join it but the discord link is dead.
Venmo and CashApp both just have her as Jessica D. This is so vexing.
Ahh good old Paypal.
Hello Jessica DiStefano of 1798 Norm Place, Seaford NY!
Satellite of the house, looks like the same kidney-shaped pool with red brick patio with white crushed stone planters from Insta to me.
There’s a reason I really wanted to know this one’s full name. Sometimes I don’t bother with actual dox because that’s not the funny part IMO. But this one in particular is very confident that her dramatic spoonie social media she wastes hours daily on won’t be found by the people investigating her for disability eligibility because it’s not connected to her full name, even after people warn her that her presence is a massive liability. It took me approximately...
…six minutes from when I asked my buddy if she’d been doxed yet to bringing up her full name and address on FastPeopleSearch.
And that was doing it the slow, drunk way of clicking through links to see if she fucked up somewhere. If you type “chaosintoart” into google her linkedin pops right up even though the website is no longer listed on her page.
For the record, it takes even less time in reverse. If you already know her name and city a quick search on social media indexes like PeekYou brings up her ubiquitous chaosintoart handle next to a photo of her face. From that handle you can find the insta shop which links to her sickstagram in the bio. I don't know if checking for social media is really part of the process (it should be, imo) but if so i'm really curious as to how much they found.
With a name and town I can easily find a facebook. Like she said, It’s mostly private with only a few scattered posts. The only things she really leaves public are her profile and banner pic changes so it’s more or less just photos of her making almost exactly the same face over and over and not much interesting.
This is apparently the guy she was almost married to, who no longer is on facebook.
This one is interesting thanks to the comments: IATA, the international air transport association.
Thank you for confirming this is your Linkedin. I had a flicker of questioning myself when I didn’t see the chaosintoart website listed but I guess she just scrubbed it to hide an income stream. Her dream job of the past was as a wholesale travel saleswoman, neato! We learn that she studied interior design for three years at community college and visual communications at Farmingdale State University, which is the school she dropped out of. Also lines up with her story about dropping out of school but keeping up a server job since it says she worked at TGIFriday’s a year longer than she was in school.
Back to facebook. The only face this girl can make is to hold the camera above eye level, turn her head to one side, purse her lips, and eyefuck herself. It’s an uncanny impersonation of Blue Steel, except no one told her that was a joke and she should not actually do it.
it’s almost unbelievable, when I see a photo when she’s not doing that stupid face I wonder if it’s even her.
Her life according to Facebook is pretty much what you’d expect. Everything’s fine. She travels, she goes out with friends, she loses her grandparents.
Here's the new/current boyfriend. Life still totally normal.
She kept posting pictures of these three gents saying she was hanging out with “Hanson,” and she also posted them in one of her insta posts… I know of Hanson in the past tense, that boy band that did Mmmbop back in the 90s and I almost threw my sister’s CD player out the window so I wouldn’t have to hear that fucking song one more time and then it was over and we never saw them again. I thought Jess was making a joke that these male friends of hers that she goes on vacation with looked like them all grown up. It took me several years of this to realize no, that’s actually Hanson. They’re still around and they do annual fanclub events in Jamaica, four days of fun in the sun and fan meets. It costs thousands of dollars to attend them, and this is what she’s doing year after year. I had no idea they even made music after Mmmbop or still had a fanclub, let alone a dedicated one that would pay to do things like this. These events sell out and have a waitlist. I’ve sat here for 20 minutes trying to conclude this paragraph in a way that expresses how I feel right now but I don’t even know there’s a word in English for this. It’s like amused and very slightly disturbed bewilderment with a candy coating of cringe. The Germans probably figured it out.
I looked into Hanson’s fandom and it’s as expected. Apparently the youngest one had a pinterest board that leaked and it was a bunch of pro-gun memes and dunking on trannies and he was forced to bend the knee to the screeching adult women who, for some reason, thought some good ole’ Christian boys from Oklahoma were on the same page as them re: every single social justice trend. The oldest one also posted some shit about the pandemic that made the covid Karens rend their garms. This led to a cancellation attempt by the “fansons” because fandom culture is actual cancer. As a side note to this side note, Jessica’s Pinterest is pretty boring, but she has an old album called “Swoon” full of men she thinks are attractive, including two of the Hansons.
The third one gets no pins because apparently all the cute boy genes were distributed evenly between his brothers, but clicking those brings up suggestions with him in them. Every photo of this man is hilarious at 4 am after a few drinks. At least he seems to know he's the goofy looking motherfucker of the family.
She has another board called “the music lives” that is all Hanson.
Her “life with chronic illness” board is almost all about fibro and includes pins of doctor oz.
Then a bunch of boards for “noms” including one that’s all gluten free.
And this one’s just tragic. “the future” which is all wedding and pregnancy pics, kids’ first day of school, and ideas for keepsakes and crafts to do with your child. This one was last updated very recently (not as recently as this SS suggests; it was taken back in November) and I am frightened and hoping this is just fantasizing and not a plan to babytrap her man. That’s enough pinterest for one day.
Finally in 2017, the first public healthpost on Facebook. It’s just saying she got diagnosed POTS in 2014 and there’s no cure.
Aww, I was wondering when she was gonna get chunky!
Sometimes when she does the selfie face, she slightly parts her lips. I think she thinks its sultry but it just gives me “did I forget the stove on?” vibes.
Lol fun with smartphone camera focal length. She slightly changed the angle of her head for this one and now her chin is distorted and she looks like a goldfish. No wonder she sticks to Blue Steel. Magnum just wasn’t ready for the public yet.
And that’s it. The only things we learned from her facebook and pinterest are she spends thousands of dollars to stalk a 90’s boy band, was once in the travel industry, has baby fever, and might suffer some kind of disorder that causes her to be unable to change her facial expression while in the presence of cameras.
With a name I also found her modelmayhem account from 2006 where she’s seeking commercial work and instead told she’s plus sized and flabby with childbearing hips, has a big nose, and should not quit her day job any time soon. Uhmmmmm obviously she’s not because she’s an actress. This whole modeling thing is just for the exposure for her burgeoning acting career, obviously. And how dare u call her plus sized!? Oh god I love delusional tits like this. Not much is going to top Jamie Bruce trying to be a K-pop star but this woman who can only stare angrily with her lips pursed thinking she can be a model or actress hasn’t exactly disappointed. https://archive.ph/6EJLj
I don’t feel I’ve proven enough to Jessica here that yes, with just your legal name and a location plenty of really fun things you post online can be found. For example did you know with the handle “chaosintoart” you can bring up her Myspace account, @HollywoodStarlet? Alas, eroded by the sands of time.
@HollywoodStartlet is also her photobucket handle. There was also another photo hosting site called WebSnaps or something where she was NewYorkHollywoodStarlet but it’s deleted. But I didn’t just google the handle to get those. I found them on another social media platform she probably didn’t think you could dig up just from a name and city.
For the first time I the six years I’ve written these, I’m going to do some livejournal archaeology. When I searched “@chaosintoart” on google it brought up a livejournal account called @feed_my_wallet (classy) where she reposted links to the shitty plastic bead jewelry you could buy off her website. It’s not interesting other than some photos of herself. This is just a handful of ~30 photos she decided to share one day.
But that page does have a link in the header to her personal livejournal, @sassybf, which has over 1000 posts and takes us all the way back to May 2003. Bless. It would have been funnier if I could also resurrect the older blog listed here but uJournal has been defunct for literally two decades now. This blog starts when Jessica is weeks away from graduating high school and it’s what you’d expect: prom, friends, RaNdOm humor, and so many surveys and “which Powerpuff Girl are you?” quizzes.
She’s already struggling with the passage of time and how social media works. She wants to be candid and write how she feels but she knows anyone can read it. If she locks it to friends only, she can’t attract the large following she wants and become famous for… talking about what she did with her friends today.
Leaving high school seems to have really shook her up.
Even back this early, she wants to be an actress and she’s mad she doesn’t look like Thora Birch.
The LJ goes dark for a year and when she comes back she’s a retail worker at Babies R’ Us and attending Nassau CC. She’s about to turn 19. She complains that it’s impossible to keep up between her college schedule and work, and her professors are uncaring when she goes in whining of stomach issues and headaches.
She posts about going out with friends to the city, walking around and hitting the clubs, but then calling out of work sick. Hm. This seems familiar somehow.
In November she joins a gym and posts about her workouts. It’s short-lived.
“sleep a little less. Some sunshine would do you good.” Look, unthinking early 2000s internet quiz, even you knew what Jess's problem is.
Early 2005 she talks about quitting her job and laments that she’s about to lose her latest batch of friends.
This post is mostly about being angry her blind, deaf, arthritic, diabetic dog peed in the house but then finding out her parents are considering putting her to sleep. But the end she tells us she is quitting work because of back pain from standing and they offer her a seated position to stay. She quit anyway.
She complains of back, neck, hip, and shoulder problems from her mattress but she’s getting a new one.
She’s been skipping classes and not exercising.
Wisdom teeth go byebye
Realizing she's turning 20 really fucks her brain up. She won’t be a teenager anymore and it’s not fair.
She’s in so much pain, which is worse when she tries to exercise.
But her parents are buying her all new furniture including the bed, and she’s losing weight.
In May she’s depressed and finally coming clean about how she spends all day in her bedroom and hates it, and has been doing terribly in school because she keeps skipping classes and not studying.
She has no job or money but spends what little she has on crap she doesn’t need.
She celebrates one year since the first time she paid to meet the cute boys from Oklahoma and some BITCH who has seen them 24392082094 times interfered.
How the fuck big is her bedroom lmao
she posts a lot of pictures talking about how she hates how she looks, she hates her makeup because it’s the same way she’s done it for so many years (funny enough, the same makeup she does to this day)…
In July, she finally starts looking for a new job and applies to a temp agency.
It’s like witnessing Blue Steel in its larval form.
Worst summer ever! She barely did anything fun! She spent all her time at home because she quit her job and had no money to do anything!
Except buy more Hanson tickets.
Our first real healthpost. She has numbness in her fingers and goes to a neurologist. She needs an MRI and an EMG to figure out why she feels this way. Sounds like ulnar nerve issues which happen when you lean on your elbow all the time.
Thats exactly what it is.
Freaking out that she’s 20. She says nothing about the MRI.
She does care a LOT that people are backing out of her birthday plans. Doesn’t anyone CARE that she’s turning T W E N T Y???
MAKE ME JESSICA.
She still doesn’t have a job but she buys The Sims 2 and now she’ll never get anything done.
She goes to see Hanson. Her back is killing her and she’s going to fail math now but it’s fine! Lol you have one job right now and it’s “pass community college classes”
Here, Jessica struggles with the concept that her favorite one-hit wonders will never regain the fan following they had after “Mmmbop” and most people are unwilling to even give them a shot. If only she channeled this passion into anything productive.
Her posts are a steady loop of complaining that she’s lonely/single/unattractive/in need of a new look, followed by selfies followed by talking about fun things she did with all her friends and her (
parents’) money this week.
Here’s where she makes the DA account.
I guess she got bailed on again
Which means it’s selfie time and demanding to know why she’s single and UGLY girls get a man!
Don’t worry she goes on vacation to Florida with her friend right after this.
But then she’s home and everything is terrible.
I have to say her LJ is like a really funny time capsule. It’s all tantruming that she’s worthless and no one likes her for attention, posts that could be made any platform today, then she brings up some then-current event like this and I remember this is two decade old drama
The modeling era is upon us. The link is dead but it was called Modeling 411 Agency.
She goes for the meeting and it’s a disaster. Her friend delays her then she has to hoof it several blocks after already missing her appointment time. She suh-wares she has asthma because it’s so hard for her to run and her chest wheezes, plus she’s in heels with no stockings. She gets there and the humidity and rushing have made her hair frizzy. She feels too fat to take her blazer off so she sits there sweating in a hot lobby until they can see her. They tell her that her haircut sucks and because she’s short she needs to lose several inches off her waist and hips. Now she has 2 weeks to lose 10 lbs of fat, tone up her hips and stomach, and go back for her second evaluation. She has a second interview at a different agency booked the same day but she decides not to go because it’s “not as legit.” She never updates on going back to this place so apparently she did not miraculously drop 10 lbs of fat and pack on some muscle in 14 days.
Her first attempt at selling instead of getting a job: a “store” called unique_and_chic where she tries and fails to sell some crap she has laying around while asking people to buy her assorted things so she can get the “business” off the ground. A lot of it is obviously just stuff she wants people to give her so she can have it, like she collects Lucille Ball merch.
Wow this pathological aversion to getting a job has lasted way longer than we imagined. Like an entire decade before she decided she was going for the disability grift.
Why bother with the job interviews? You’re gonna be a model, jess! First time acknowledging her double-jointedness but it’s just “my arm bends really weird.”
The piste resistance. God she’s magnificent.
She gets the job and another modeling agency interview. On day one she’s already complaining about having to work.
More “modeling” selfies.
Still trying to make her chintzy jewelry store take off so she can quit the job she already hates. The store is officially rebranded Chaos into Art so now we can come full circle and say that the “business” she made to get out of having a job long before her “disabilities” started is the thing that links her funny munchie internet presence to her real name. It’s pottery.
For a change, she’s excited to be turning 21.
She makes another LJ in October 2006. This one has only nine entries, all locked down, and is abandoned within months.
For months she’s just posting about whatever concert she’s going to and what the Hansons and other assorted celebrities from her youth are up to. She posts her first real photo shoot, which I think was just another student at her college shooting for class.
She hasn’t been complaining about work much (uncharacteristic) but she hasn’t quit because she still has money for stuff.. What I think happened was she started putting the more personal and embarrassing stuff behind friends lock around this point.
Her parents are trying to de-hoard her childhood hoard and she won’t let them.
In late 2007 the journal’s public posts end. The only other post is one in 2010 telling people that it’s “semi friends-only.” I was hoping it would fill us in on the years when her “illness” started but I guess we couldn’t be so lucky. We did learn that since she was a teenager Jessica has only wanted to be famous for something and this is why she won’t lock down all of her socials even when people warn her over and over that this is a liability. She seems to feel like she’s running out of time to make this fame thing happen (her frequent posts freaking out about her age) and that she shouldn’t have to work while she pursues this. If she has a normie job with scheduled hours, she can’t drop everything for an audition that might be “the one” that makes her a household name. We’ll see how this continues to play out well into her 30s soon.
@HollywoodStartlet is also her photobucket handle. There was also another photo hosting site called WebSnaps or something where she was NewYorkHollywoodStarlet but it’s deleted. But I didn’t just google the handle to get those. I found them on another social media platform she probably didn’t think you could dig up just from a name and city.
For the first time I the six years I’ve written these, I’m going to do some livejournal archaeology. When I searched “@chaosintoart” on google it brought up a livejournal account called @feed_my_wallet (classy) where she reposted links to the shitty plastic bead jewelry you could buy off her website. It’s not interesting other than some photos of herself. This is just a handful of ~30 photos she decided to share one day.
But that page does have a link in the header to her personal livejournal, @sassybf, which has over 1000 posts and takes us all the way back to May 2003. Bless. It would have been funnier if I could also resurrect the older blog listed here but uJournal has been defunct for literally two decades now. This blog starts when Jessica is weeks away from graduating high school and it’s what you’d expect: prom, friends, RaNdOm humor, and so many surveys and “which Powerpuff Girl are you?” quizzes.
She’s already struggling with the passage of time and how social media works. She wants to be candid and write how she feels but she knows anyone can read it. If she locks it to friends only, she can’t attract the large following she wants and become famous for… talking about what she did with her friends today.
Leaving high school seems to have really shook her up.
Even back this early, she wants to be an actress and she’s mad she doesn’t look like Thora Birch.
The LJ goes dark for a year and when she comes back she’s a retail worker at Babies R’ Us and attending Nassau CC. She’s about to turn 19. She complains that it’s impossible to keep up between her college schedule and work, and her professors are uncaring when she goes in whining of stomach issues and headaches.
She posts about going out with friends to the city, walking around and hitting the clubs, but then calling out of work sick. Hm. This seems familiar somehow.
In November she joins a gym and posts about her workouts. It’s short-lived.
“sleep a little less. Some sunshine would do you good.” Look, unthinking early 2000s internet quiz, even you knew what Jess's problem is.
Early 2005 she talks about quitting her job and laments that she’s about to lose her latest batch of friends.
This post is mostly about being angry her blind, deaf, arthritic, diabetic dog peed in the house but then finding out her parents are considering putting her to sleep. But the end she tells us she is quitting work because of back pain from standing and they offer her a seated position to stay. She quit anyway.
She complains of back, neck, hip, and shoulder problems from her mattress but she’s getting a new one.
She’s been skipping classes and not exercising.
Wisdom teeth go byebye
Realizing she's turning 20 really fucks her brain up. She won’t be a teenager anymore and it’s not fair.
She’s in so much pain, which is worse when she tries to exercise.
But her parents are buying her all new furniture including the bed, and she’s losing weight.
In May she’s depressed and finally coming clean about how she spends all day in her bedroom and hates it, and has been doing terribly in school because she keeps skipping classes and not studying.
She has no job or money but spends what little she has on crap she doesn’t need.
She celebrates one year since the first time she paid to meet the cute boys from Oklahoma and some BITCH who has seen them 24392082094 times interfered.
How the fuck big is her bedroom lmao
she posts a lot of pictures talking about how she hates how she looks, she hates her makeup because it’s the same way she’s done it for so many years (funny enough, the same makeup she does to this day)…
In July, she finally starts looking for a new job and applies to a temp agency.
It’s like witnessing Blue Steel in its larval form.
Worst summer ever! She barely did anything fun! She spent all her time at home because she quit her job and had no money to do anything!
Except buy more Hanson tickets.
Our first real healthpost. She has numbness in her fingers and goes to a neurologist. She needs an MRI and an EMG to figure out why she feels this way. Sounds like ulnar nerve issues which happen when you lean on your elbow all the time.
Thats exactly what it is.
Freaking out that she’s 20. She says nothing about the MRI.
She does care a LOT that people are backing out of her birthday plans. Doesn’t anyone CARE that she’s turning T W E N T Y???
MAKE ME JESSICA.
She still doesn’t have a job but she buys The Sims 2 and now she’ll never get anything done.
She goes to see Hanson. Her back is killing her and she’s going to fail math now but it’s fine! Lol you have one job right now and it’s “pass community college classes”
Here, Jessica struggles with the concept that her favorite one-hit wonders will never regain the fan following they had after “Mmmbop” and most people are unwilling to even give them a shot. If only she channeled this passion into anything productive.
Her posts are a steady loop of complaining that she’s lonely/single/unattractive/in need of a new look, followed by selfies followed by talking about fun things she did with all her friends and her (
parents’) money this week.
Here’s where she makes the DA account.
I guess she got bailed on again
Which means it’s selfie time and demanding to know why she’s single and UGLY girls get a man!
Don’t worry she goes on vacation to Florida with her friend right after this.
But then she’s home and everything is terrible.
I have to say her LJ is like a really funny time capsule. It’s all tantruming that she’s worthless and no one likes her for attention, posts that could be made any platform today, then she brings up some then-current event like this and I remember this is two decade old drama
The modeling era is upon us. The link is dead but it was called Modeling 411 Agency.
She goes for the meeting and it’s a disaster. Her friend delays her then she has to hoof it several blocks after already missing her appointment time. She suh-wares she has asthma because it’s so hard for her to run and her chest wheezes, plus she’s in heels with no stockings. She gets there and the humidity and rushing have made her hair frizzy. She feels too fat to take her blazer off so she sits there sweating in a hot lobby until they can see her. They tell her that her haircut sucks and because she’s short she needs to lose several inches off her waist and hips. Now she has 2 weeks to lose 10 lbs of fat, tone up her hips and stomach, and go back for her second evaluation. She has a second interview at a different agency booked the same day but she decides not to go because it’s “not as legit.” She never updates on going back to this place so apparently she did not miraculously drop 10 lbs of fat and pack on some muscle in 14 days.
Her first attempt at selling instead of getting a job: a “store” called unique_and_chic where she tries and fails to sell some crap she has laying around while asking people to buy her assorted things so she can get the “business” off the ground. A lot of it is obviously just stuff she wants people to give her so she can have it, like she collects Lucille Ball merch.
Wow this pathological aversion to getting a job has lasted way longer than we imagined. Like an entire decade before she decided she was going for the disability grift.
Why bother with the job interviews? You’re gonna be a model, jess! First time acknowledging her double-jointedness but it’s just “my arm bends really weird.”
The piste resistance. God she’s magnificent.
She gets the job and another modeling agency interview. On day one she’s already complaining about having to work.
More “modeling” selfies.
Still trying to make her chintzy jewelry store take off so she can quit the job she already hates. The store is officially rebranded Chaos into Art so now we can come full circle and say that the “business” she made to get out of having a job long before her “disabilities” started is the thing that links her funny munchie internet presence to her real name. It’s pottery.
For a change, she’s excited to be turning 21.
She makes another LJ in October 2006. This one has only nine entries, all locked down, and is abandoned within months.
For months she’s just posting about whatever concert she’s going to and what the Hansons and other assorted celebrities from her youth are up to. She posts her first real photo shoot, which I think was just another student at her college shooting for class.
She hasn’t been complaining about work much (uncharacteristic) but she hasn’t quit because she still has money for stuff.. What I think happened was she started putting the more personal and embarrassing stuff behind friends lock around this point.
Her parents are trying to de-hoard her childhood hoard and she won’t let them.
In late 2007 the journal’s public posts end. The only other post is one in 2010 telling people that it’s “semi friends-only.” I was hoping it would fill us in on the years when her “illness” started but I guess we couldn’t be so lucky. We did learn that since she was a teenager Jessica has only wanted to be famous for something and this is why she won’t lock down all of her socials even when people warn her over and over that this is a liability. She seems to feel like she’s running out of time to make this fame thing happen (her frequent posts freaking out about her age) and that she shouldn’t have to work while she pursues this. If she has a normie job with scheduled hours, she can’t drop everything for an audition that might be “the one” that makes her a household name. We’ll see how this continues to play out well into her 30s soon.
Thanks for that little challenge about how you can’t connect your social media to your real name Jessica! It was really enjoyable. And we haven't even made it up to the namesake blog yet!
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- Joined
- Oct 23, 2023
Man, that resting Eurobitch face - she looks exactly like every annoying Italian/Greek exchange student I met at Uni.
Anyway, being a eurofag myself I have a question about US disability insurance: is it temporary or permanent? I remember reading an interview with dr Sally Satel where she discussed VA policy for PTSD, which was basically lifelong disability and benzos till you die (for real). I assumed it was a VA thing, but from reading this and about other munchies (e.g. that nutcase Disabled not defeated) I guess disability is permanent? If so, is it always 100 % disability or can someone be considered able to work maybe 50 %?
Sorry about my retarded questions but I’m trying to understand the endgame here. Seems like it would take less spoons to just work and go about your life independently instead of… this.
Anyway, being a eurofag myself I have a question about US disability insurance: is it temporary or permanent? I remember reading an interview with dr Sally Satel where she discussed VA policy for PTSD, which was basically lifelong disability and benzos till you die (for real). I assumed it was a VA thing, but from reading this and about other munchies (e.g. that nutcase Disabled not defeated) I guess disability is permanent? If so, is it always 100 % disability or can someone be considered able to work maybe 50 %?
Sorry about my retarded questions but I’m trying to understand the endgame here. Seems like it would take less spoons to just work and go about your life independently instead of… this.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2019
I can’t speak for the details about other things, but this has been 100% true in my experiance. Plus once someone is of a certain age and has taken them for so long, it’s best to just keep on keeping on rather than putting an old disabled war vet through benzo withdrawals.
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2023
Oh, I don’t think an old disabled war vet should be put through withdrawal either - but this was the policy for newly diagnosed patients.