First of all, I want to thank all of the people who want to see me rip apart this book, this is gonna be worth it if it means archiving the deranged dood thoughts of Ellen and having a good laugh with you people, enjoy!
Third chapter, the first thing she talks about here is her first date on a dating app, presumably Tinder. Indulging in her sexuality a lot more this time, talking about how the girls in a bar were... amused? By her new dood look. This time she talks about a girl named Sara, this is like... the third girl she talked about doing something in this book.
This is the moment in the book where she starts talk about his transgenderism a little bit more, apparently Sara could not believe that someone like her was becoming a dood.
And then... for some strange reason, in a part of this chapter she starts to talk about how she URINATES LIKE A MAN in this new state and how was the smell of the bathroom. Isn't this just classic literature?
This is a small fraction but one has to wonder what the hell was going on in Ellen's head while mentioning this. This is probably one of the best arguments on her not using a ghost writer, because how the hell do you even mention this to someone when talking about your autobio? I don't even know how to respond to this.
This is a moment where she remembers talking about her mother on wanting to be a boy.
Sonic the Hedgehog was one of her favorite games, this is what we call foreshadowing. Her mother gives the most reasonable response, saying that she can't be a man but she can like boy stuff. And because of that, she decided to be a rebellious little girl and wanting to be a boy from early age.
Then she starts talking about how she can only be herself in this new world she created in her head. And how she was happy in this fake world she created.
And then, in this rebel state that she was in, she met another girl, named Anna and they used to go to a sleepover. The fourth girl mentioned in this book already and probably the one she felt more connection apparently.
But then again, her advances were rejected because Anna was a dirty homophobe. They didn't talk again after this episode.
And now, she starts talking about her dating experience with guys. This time with a guy called Justin.
And this is the prelude of a very important moment in her life... the first time she was called a
FAGGOT.
For some reason she started talking about the Halifax Explosion of 1917, where a ship full of TNT collapsed in a city and provoked a huge explosion that killed a lot of people. Why is this important? Because apparently she took her first kiss there, and because they looked like guys kissing with this guy Justin, a totally real and legit incident happened. A group of opressive homophobe and dirty teenagers confronted them and told them this. And because of that they run because they feared for their lives.
But then, they were heroically saved by her babysitter, yelling at the guys to scare them away.
And to end this chapter... she decided to paint herself as a victim, and she actually said next, "What about the queers who were victims of the explosions?" I wish I was joking.
We're getting in a spicy territory in the book, what will happen next is gonna be a crazy one and some of the most deranged parts of the book. Stay tuned.
