Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Mecha.Bubblesੈ✩‧₊˚]

pooners will have freaky ass captions and than just the driest, deadpan look in the camera to try and be masculine

 

[TruffleSpark]

Does she think that breasts can reattached? Wouldn't be the weirdest idea about biology I have seen from the trans community.

 

[scathefire]

View attachment 6061599
Does she think that breasts can reattached? Wouldn't be the weirdest idea about biology I have seen from the trans community.

In this case I don’t think so, though I’ve definitely heard people say before that it’s ok if you regret getting your boobs chopped off because you can just get replacement bolt-ons.

 

[Muskcarpone]

This Pooner is quite active on Xitter.
View attachment 6049874
View attachment 6049876
It's incredible that even sans hair and with a beard, she still looks like Not A Man. Kinda like a very good prosthetic mask; it's close to the real thing but something is still tangibly off.

Some kindly soul even made a picture based on Prof Dr Dood (obe)

Isn't she just adorable?

 

[SomeSpook]

Something was going off in my head when I looked at this lil dood. Something somewhere isn’t right.

 

[Mellorine]

Once upon a time in the late 20th century, the goth scene queen of New Orleans was a girl named Melissa Brite, though she preferred to be called “Poppy.”



Poppy recognized that Anne Rice had made a fortune selling vampire books loaded with homoerotic subtext. So Poppy wrote a vampire book, but instead of it being loaded with homoerotic subtext, it was loaded with explicit man-on-man buttfucking. This would be followed up with a haunted house novel full of explict man-on-man buttfucking, and a serial killer novel full of man-on-man buttfucking that was thinly veiled slash fic between Dennis Nilsen and Jeffrey Dahmer. This was all in the early to mid ‘90s, before the floodgates of internet degeneracy opened to reveal what a cliche she was. At the time, she was considered outre and daring, her prose purple enough to be mistaken for art, and she earned a surprising amount of money and acclaim.

In 1998, she published an insane and absolutely hilarious essay called “Enough Rope” in which she claimed to be a non-transitioning transsexual, “a gay man that happens to have been born in a female body.”

I encourage everyone with time to kill to read it, though the formatting on her website is terrible. A sample:

“Snapshot, 3 years old: I'm sitting at the kitchen table eating vanilla ice cream. Today or very recently, in some academic fashion, I have learned about the rudimentary design and function of the human penis. I can't stop pondering the image I have of it, pink and round like some strange cheese, leaking big fantasy tadpoles. It attracts me and disturbs me. My ice cream is melting in the heat of a New Orleans summer afternoon. I imagine sperm swimming in it and push the bowl away half- finished. But after a few minutes, I cautiously start eating again.

For several years of my life, I wanted people to believe I was something that I was obviously, to all appearances, not: a big, butch gay man. People would hear that and expect me to show up looking like a leather dyke, but that wasn't how it worked. I didn't even try to look male. Since I am barely five feet tall in socks, with a baby-soft complexion and a big wide ass, there never seemed to be much point. I felt male enough that I didn't have to look it.

In 1993 I moved into the heart of the French Quarter, one of the most physically judgmental gay communities on earth, and grew depressed because I couldn't go out at night and fuck greased boy-ass in some back room. I mourned the fact that when I walked down Bourbon Street, no one saw the swaggering leather daddy inside me.”

Decades have passed since Poppy wrote that essay. She lost her mind after Katrina and got into hard drugs, broke up with her long-suffering chef husband after a disastrous turn at polyamory, quit writing entirely after her publisher suggested that cozy novels about gay New Orleans chefs in love might not be what her gore-obsessed readership was inclined to spend money on, and got a new husband in the form of an HIV positive failed photographer who can’t work but spends a lot of time taking pictures of garbage in their backyard.

And of course, Poppy got on T.

This is what she looks like now:


She goes by "Billy Martin", because she's obsessed with Billy Joel. You can hear her kermit voice in this very recent news clip regarding an absurdly high water bill at her late mother’s house, where her and the pozzed boytoy have been squatting for years.

The pooner rot may have taken quite awhile to make itself visible, but no question it was there from the start.

 

[Aunt Carol]

The pooner rot may have taken quite awhile to make itself visible, but no question it was there from the start.

Poppy's tragic poonout was the first one I was ever aware of, although I only had gut feelings about it that I knew to keep quiet. Now we've seen so many exact copies of her progression in the decades since.

She was a public figure and she wrote extensively about her genderfeels before and after; we might as well call the modern fandom/fujo-to-FtM pipeline "Brite's Disease." It's not exactly a mirror version of AGP, but it's definitely the female equivalent.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

In this case I don’t think so, though I’ve definitely heard people say before that it’s ok if you regret getting your boobs chopped off because you can just get replacement bolt-ons.

Johanna Olson-Kennedy, for one. She's a doctor of troonery of some kind and recommends tit chops for 12 year olds and has said exactly that. "If you want boobs later, you can go and get them". Silicone implant fake ones, and presumably she'll sell them too.

 

[Fapcop]

Not sure if it has been posted before, but remember the lil’ pooner school shooter? Audrey?

Apparently parts of her journal has been made public. Complete with ramblings about “my imaginary penis”.



When she wasn’t busy writing about her imaginary parts, she did the classically masculine activity of… Playing with dolls:



Lmao!

 

[Rick The Stick]

fuck greased boy-ass

Not necessarily pooner specific, but my complaint applies anyway I feel.

Faggots always bitch and whine when people call them pedophiles but then say shit like the above, boi/boy pussy etc. Imagine a straight man going around saying they wanna fuck "girl pussy". They'd be seen as disgusting pedophiles, but apparently it's totally normal to refer to grown men's assholes as "boy ass, boi pussy" as long as you're a faggot or claim to be. It sets off every alarm in my head. It's fucking disgusting.

 

[SomeSpook]

I don't feel sympathy for Melissa. Just... pity.

 

[Aunt Carol]

"If you want boobs later, you can go and get them". Silicone implant fake ones, and presumably she'll sell them too.

This is also the plot of literary classic The Sneetches.

 

[Pomniman]

We always need new ones

Here's a quick half-assed MSpaint attempt.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Poppy

I just want to state for the record that my horrifying reaction was in reference to the water bill.

The rest of the post is informative and frankly, her downfall is just darkly funny.

 

[Surfin Terf]

Not necessarily pooner specific, but my complaint applies anyway I feel.

Faggots always bitch and whine when people call them pedophiles but then say shit like the above, boi/boy pussy etc. Imagine a straight man going around saying they wanna fuck "girl pussy". They'd be seen as disgusting pedophiles, but apparently it's totally normal to refer to grown men's assholes as "boy ass, boi pussy" as long as you're a faggot or claim to be. It sets off every alarm in my head. It's fucking disgusting.

LOL, on rdrama they call vaginas "gussy" (for girl pussy). Also, the only time I've heard someone speak of a man pussy was a pooner on 4chan talking about the taste of her "mussy". Never heard of anyone speaking of a wussy except for, you know, a wimp.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

I've only ever heard "gussy" in reference to a man who got caught fucking a goat.

 

[Marche]

I actually said Pooner out loud to someone in explaining ftm's the other day for the first time, then I had to explain what the word pooner is.

what a fun word to say.

 

[Hepativore]

Here's a quick half-assed MSpaint attempt.
View attachment 6065550

The purulent discharge from the mastectomy incision-sites is a nice touch.

 

[Pomniman]

The purulent discharge from the mastectomy incision-sites is a nice touch.

It just doesn't feel like a real d00d unless multiple parts of its body are visually festering and reeking.

 

[Constellationzero]

Like Wendy's?