Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Procrastinhater]

whose marriages later ended because a request to open marriage or swing-nights was made & met.

If your spouse ever asks to "open the marriage" it means its already over, they don’t respect you, and you need to be looking for a divorce lawyer the next day.
No exceptions.
If you're married and you seriously start to think about fucking other people then its already over.
If your spouse comes up with that bullshit seemingly out of nowhere, it means they're already cheating or thinking about cheating and they're trying to ease their conscience.
At that point it's over.
Have some dignity. Because the last thing anyone should want to be is a fucking cuck.

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

They've been doing it for a while. Some people in his Discord (also known as the second dumbest Rekieta fan group, behind Locals) were peddling it as criticism of the Farms.

Example:


It's all just a mid-life crisis.

Again, this has got to be the most intense mid-life crisis ever at this point.

"Also Nick had a Mid-Life Crisis and suddenly every farmer here somehow became a Paragon of Virtue."

This is so retarded because people on this very thread have been talking about Nick having a midlife crisis for years. This is a post from September of 2022:

Yeah he's been pretty fucking weird about his sex life and sharing it. A funny story here and there is fine especially if its at his expense and lady rackets is fine with it but this whole ima talk about sex more reeks of midlife crisis. We're either gonna get Nick cheating on lady Rackets in a 3 some with Faran and her sister or it being revealed Lady Rackets was actually banging Drex, the masseuse, and pegged Rackets.

They pretend like this is a sudden tactic used to deride Nick in bad faith rather than the culmination of years and years of observations.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

Sweet idea I guess but all too often in my experience, those are the couples who gravitate to this debauch swapping/swinging shit.

Statistically the opposite is true. Infidelity, adultery, and sexual deviancy is positively correlated with number of sexual partners and marriages.

 

[AltisticRight]

IIRC Nick was supposed to be the organizer this year.

Well I bet that shit show where he can get stepped on by OnlyFans whores is more important.

It's all just a mid-life crisis.

Yeah, a mid-life crisis leads people to abandon their 5 children, do more coke rails than China's train network, invite a couple to do swinging, purchase various weird BDSM paraphernalia to carry to trips where the airport staff must then search, drive around drunk and high on cocaine like an absolute menace, crash the car, go on unhinged rants against people that trusted you and so on.

It's all a mid-life crisis. The grown adult that's 40+ years of age isn't responsible for his own actions. Yet his simps want those kids to cook multiple meals and do laundry because all 4 adults were busy examining the sex cross in the bedroom and following the bondage instructions on Balldo's favourite Russian rope store.

Not his fault guys. Not his fault. It's those pesky children and Eric July.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Aaron does qualify if only because (as far as I can tell) he's the sole source for the rumor that Balldo can't get it up. I don't know why you'd want to spin a story where you lose your hotwife to a guy with ED, but Aaron is a crack head.

The only purpose for the Balldo is a sex toy for impotent men.
No-one with a functioning penis would strap a fucking weird thing designed by a FurFaggot to their nuts to attempt to stuff their testicles into someone.

So yeah, I unironically believe Balldo is a limp dick.

 

[Chazzed Up]

What part of two useless partners did you not understand? Kayla is a fucking useless hoe and always has been.

>man who's tired of caring for 5 children and an adult child

Nick was never caring for anyone. He made money streaming and from free money he got from his family. He's a useless hoe himself, he just managed to get retards to fund him being useless. Either he's caring for 5 kids or he's useless but it's one or the other.

 

[Abbadon's Gate]

No-one would strap a fucking weird thing designed by a FurFaggot to their nuts to attempt to stuff their testicle into someone.

FTFY

 

[Ice Gun Ninja]

IDK if there is any lore on this, but what's the over/under that Kayla married Nick for money? I'm not super familiar with info about their early relationship but IIRC, Nick pretended to be gay, then somehow ended up marrying her? That sounds weird as fuck. He also looks like a giant loser in those really early pictures of them. I wonder if Kayla wasn't interested at first, then only warmed up to him once she learned about the trust fund.

I think her grand parents are also rich.

 

[unimpressed cabbage]

Speaking of midlife crises, I figured out what’s going on with his new haircut.

It was not an accident.

In his own words, his latest haircut is him going back to his prior high and tight style that his barber used to do for him, like this one from a year ago:



However, this is not high and tight haircut. His current haircut has very little fade:



Hmm…what does this fade pattern remind you of?



That’s right. The fucking idiot asked his barber to give him a broccoli style Zoomer haircut Only with his straight and thinning hair, it looks like an accident.

 

[Dr. Henry Armitage]

Nicks midlife crisis was started I think by his love for American Beauty. Underage girls aside Nicks take away was bizarre. I think they played the clip on Keno Casino but nick said that if the main character had embraced hedonistic pleasure more and not got morally hung up about sleeping with an underage girl he wouldn't have died. But as he's dying he realizes his family specifically his daughter will be just fine without him. And its better to embrace hedonism than to live his life as it was. Nick sees himself in the main character and in his alcohol induced brain damage decided that his kids will be fine without him and he should abandon all morality and obligation to try and summon Slaanesh by himself live the hedonistic lifestyle as it is the only true path to happiness. of course, this is pants on head retarded and if allowed to go on there's no telling how depraved he would have got.

 

[DumbDude43]

Speaking of midlife crises, I figured out what’s going on with his new haircut.

It was not an accident.

In his own words, his latest haircut is him going back to his prior high and tight style that his barber used to do for him, like this one from a year ago:

View attachment 6080819

However, this is not high and tight haircut. His current haircut has very little fade:

View attachment 6080824

Hmm…what does this fade pattern remind you of?

View attachment 6080829

That’s right. The fucking idiot asked his barber to give him a broccoli style Zoomer haircut Only with his straight and thinning hair, it looks like an accident.

capsplaining the bussinwebz
fr fr

 

[Sam Losco's Wife]

That’s right. The fucking idiot asked his barber to give him a broccoli style Zoomer haircut Only with his straight and thinning hair, it looks like an accident.

Nick actually thought he could pull this off! He just looks like a hillbilly with AIDS.

 

[Kulee Baba]

Well, from what we can gather, Kayla is a wife who can't cook, can't clean, can't drive, doesn't work, and does piss all during the day. They've been together for years and have 5 kids and Nick has to do almost everything. So suddenly, Nick gets famous and massive amounts of money, virtually overnight and spend his new career drinking 24/7. So now you have a man who's tired of caring for 5 children and an adult child, who suddenly has resources and power to live out everything he feels he missed out on back then- Yeah. This outcome was kind of inevitable.

I doubt this marriage would survive even if the drugs never happened. No marriage survives an absolutely useless partner. This marriage had TWO.

It’s crazy that he didn’t just hire more help. There are indeed marriages with two useless partners. They’re called filthy rich people.

I dunno maybe the cost of living is just that damn high in Minnesota but he couldn’t find 2 Somalian women who could cook and clean? How much would you have to pay them $40,000-$50,000?

 

[Not Even Twice]

Eric July isn't too good to do a little dig at Minnesota's worst non-practicing lawyer.

https://x.com/EricDJuly/status/1800941815383679171

A

 

[New & Improved Username]

“Who would marry that”

I've got to make a killjoy post to remind us that Nick married a cute-ish plain young woman and turned her into this.

Suffering Nick's presence for almost 2 decades, having more children than she has the ability to care for and keeping up with Nick's degeneracy in the hopes of keeping the family together really turned both of them into hags.

 

[Strix454]

They've been together for years and have 5 kids and Nick has to do almost everything.

I don't believe this stuff about Nick being a victim of Kayla and that Nick is being honest when he complains about having to do so much work for the kids.

 

[Angry Crustacean]

Kayla still being with Nick makes me think she still hasn't hit rock-bottom yet either. They deserve each other.

 

[Sam Losco's Wife]

Eric July isn't too good to do a little dig at Minnesota's worst non-practicing lawyer.

YOU SEE SHAWN! THIS IS WHY HE'S A BAD GUY!!! HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY! NICK'S WIFE TOOK ANOTHER MAN'S DICK IN FRONT OF HIM AND HE'S LAUGHING!

 

[Ovomaltine Crunchy]

I don't think Rekieta's reputation can be further damaged than it already is. Look up the Minnesota Rules of Conduct, the section entitled Maintaining the Integrity of the Profession, specifically Rule 8.4(b): "...commit a criminal act that reflects adversely on the lawyer's honesty, trustworthiness, or fitness as a lawyer in other respects."

I meant his public reputation, since it's zingers like "addiction to prostitutes" and "20k on coke per month" that will ultimately stick and continue to be repeated in the online discourse outside of the farms. It's precisely those blurbs that would be part of a Nick Rekieta elevator pitch; bite-sized statements that the general public can easily absorb and remember. Unlike Aaron who has an evident chip on his shoulder and can thus be safely dismissed by some, Coomy is allegedly on Nick's side and at least pretending to be in good terms with him and looking out for him, which gives people much less room to question him.

Coomalot is slowly spilling the beans like this because it gives him attention, increases his viewership, and gets him invited to more shows that can keep expanding his audience. He's making bank at the expense of Nick. He's Nick's "buddy", but also completely fucking him over, little by little. It's scummy as shit, but birds of a feather and all that, I suppose. The fact Nick is sitting on his hands as Coomy transparently does this shit makes me think he knows he can't afford to fuck with him.

That said, him being unable to practice due to breaking the Rules of Conduct wouldn't change a thing. He is already a non-practicing lawyer whose content was most certainly NEVER a law channel.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

>man who's tired of caring for 5 children and an adult child

Nick was never caring for anyone. He made money streaming and from free money he got from his family. He's a useless hoe himself, he just managed to get retards to fund him being useless. Either he's caring for 5 kids or he's useless but it's one or the other.

You seem to be too autistic to understand my point so let me spell it out for you. Nick is a shitty parent. He put in the bare minimum effort in his kids. Until he didn't. Kayla for what we have seen over the past 5 years is about as useful as a sackful of rotting potatoes and somehow did even less around the home than Nick.

I don't know why you're so autistically hellbent on shoving this "I'm defending Nick" narrative down my fucking throat. I'm not defending Nick. My post isn't about Nick. It's about how much of a useless bitch Kayla is. So unless you're doing it to do some Galaxy Brained simping for Our Wife, piss off. Marriages are doomed to failure when one party does nothing for the household. While Nick might not have done much, somehow Kayla did less.