Defendant: Ethan Oliver Ralph - Ethan Ralph's Documented Legal Troubles & Other Court Docs

[Oeselian Chad]

5'10"

The officer probably meant 4'10 and just fat fingered it

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

The most important statements in the documents are that Ralph is legally:

• 245 pounds
• 5'10"
• To ashamed to list eye color

Some intern is getting chewed out right now for thinking Ralph is over 5 feet

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Credit to @Mike Stoklasas Spock Ears for posting this doc.
View attachment 6627804View attachment 6627805

Spoiler: PDF JPGs

View attachment 6627806View attachment 6627807View attachment 6627808View attachment 6627809View attachment 6627810View attachment 6627811

I’m really curious who the police originally called thinking it’s Ralph.

The person who now has Ralph’s phone number said they know Ralph and told the cops he’s “hiding in Mexico” according to the warrant.
Did an Aylog get Ralph’s number?
Did Ralph answer the phone and put on a voice and told the cops “ah nah he’s a handsome 5, 10” tall blue eyed big dicked renegade living large in Meh-he-kow, bish” trying to get them off his tail?
Did Ralph give his number to a fan?
So many questions!

 

[Rage Pig]

I’m really curious who the police originally called thinking it’s Ralph.

The person who now has Ralph’s phone number said they know Ralph and told the cops he’s “hiding in Mexico” according to the warrant.
Did an Aylog get Ralph’s number?
Did Ralph answer the phone and put on a voice and told the cops “ah nah he’s a handsome 5, 10” tall blue eyed big dicked renegade living large in Meh-he-kow, bish” trying to get them off his tail?
Did Ralph give his number to a fan?
So many questions!

They called Harry Morris.

 

[♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️]

The Ralphamale's posted a tirade to X about the state of America and how it's no longer a place for white men. Women can take your kids, censor you from speaking of them online and even force you to pay child support until the child is 18 (which apparently they don't even spend on the child).

I guess Ralph's court appearance didn't go the way he had hoped. Poor guy.

View attachment 5609596

I did some very basic-bitch digging on Mexican child support laws to see if they're in any way similar to US law and look what I found:

https://mexlaw.com/common-questions-about-mexican-family-law/#:~:text=Child%20support%20in%20M%C3%A9xico%20is,of%20one%20to%20four%20years.

In the US they generally have to go through the trouble of finding you in contempt of court first before they can throw you in the klink over Child Support issues- and even then it's typically a misdemeanor that you generally won't see 4 years behind bars for. Even if this wasn't the case- Mexico generally is a bit more chaotic of a society as the US, so if you skimp child support you probably have bigger issues of Baby Momma Dadda in the Cartel wrapping a flaming tire around you neck while playing "Funkytown" as the background music.

 

[AnOminous]

Ralph should get ahead of this and find a way to take a deal without having to go to MN.

It's a "body only" warrant, meaning only a physical appearance can satisfy it and you don't get bail until at least your first appearance in court. I don't know if the prosecution has any wiggle room on that, but I think he probably has to appear. This is also a case effectively initiated by the court itself, even though it's still prosecuted by the DA.

I'm pretty sure that judge is personally pissed, too.

It means the warrant can only be fulfilled by bringing the body into custody for proceedings. Instead of like some traffic cases where a warrant can be satisfied by paying a fee or using a bond card or something like that.

I think the judge could change the status of the warrant if some kind of deal was reached, but just based on Ralph's attitude, I think he wants to dress him down in person.

Certainly not Ralph, who is not hurting for pesos since he’s wasting money on prostitutes, knockoff Ralph Lauren’s and tourist trips.

What the fuck kind of wigger even gets knockoff Ralph Lauren. Is it like Scalfani always buys things with "Jack" in the name?

Even the Polo brand rarely qualifies as a "luxury" item and is available often heavily discounted at those outlet stores. He's such trash.