Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Malaika]

I see Nick is taking the "FIVE STAR DAYS BISH!" cope of just pretending everything is fine when you eat an L, glorious

 

[Nova902]

They want Nick to rat out his big fish dealers or do jail time. Nick needs a few weeks to binge watch 8 seasons of 60 days in so he doesn't get murked

 

[not william stenchever]

Cool option: they had a deal but it somehow blew up.

It would be fun if in the backroom meeting Nick blew up to the same degree as "YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT LYING" and the judge calmly responded "Very well. See you in December, Mr. Rekieta."

 

[Fapcop]

@Fapcop she needs you.

I think my next play would be to dress up as a psychic. I’ll bet you Kayla is into woo!

I just need to make some flyers:

“Marital problems? Legal issues? Concerned about the future? MASTER FAPCOP SEES ALL! Call for a free consultation and advice from the other side!”

Can I trust some court kiwis to spread them out liberally at the next hearing and maybe put some on her windshield?

 

[LiquidKid]

The more I think about it, the more Ethan Ralph's letter tickles me so much. He can leave his cats to fly to your state to sit in on his friend's court proceeding and commit crimes, and he can leave his cats to fly to California to spend time with his son, but he cannot leave his cats to fly to Minnesota again for his own court proceedings.

It's really fucking funny.

For me it’s the fact that he thinks a nice letter will make the judge change his mind and drop the case. What high school movie does he think the U.S. legal system takes place in?

 

[The Bunk]

I see Nick is taking the "FIVE STAR DAYS BISH!" method of just pretending everything is fine when you eat an L, glorious

"As long as I'm out of jail and can fire up a Locals stream I'm winning, nerds! "

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

I think my next play would be to dress up as a psychic. I’ll bet you Kayla is into woo!

I just need to make some flyers:

“Marital problems? Legal issues? Concerned about the future? MASTER FAPCOP SEES ALL! Call for a free consultation and advice from the other side!”

Can I trust some court kiwis to spread them out liberally at the next hearing and maybe put some on her windshield?

"I read your humors and tickle your tantras! Fapcop Psychic Readings, satisfaction guaranteed!"

 

[Third World Aristocrat]

Boring option: they actually have come to a deal but the actual details are still up in the air.

Cool option: they had a deal but it somehow blew up.

Given that legal proceedings are rarely cool and seeing Rekieta's reaction on Twitter, it's probably the boring option.

(X | A)

I don't trust his awareness of his own situation, though.

 

[Stiffy]

Gut feeling Nick is going to get ass raped on the Aaaron Google acct thing, especially if that fat lump of shit Melton rolls over on him.

 

[Hellion]

You know they really don't sell the "Nick has definitely broken up with April" when she's his shadow at every court proceeding he has.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Cross posting from Ralph’s case thread. Ralph has written a hilarious letter to the judge.

View attachment 6690102

Holy shit "Please contact me at this fax number in Mexico"... I think I'm dying.....

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

Given that legal proceedings are rarely cool and seeing Rekieta's reaction on Twitter, it's probably the boring option.

View attachment 6690210 (X | A)

I don't trust his awareness of his own situation, though.

For all we know it's a "good day" because he thinks he just executed some high IQ negotiation tactic that he thinks will work out is his favor. We can't actually trust Nick's sense of reality any more.

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

Nick Rocketeer better pay Matagiraffe his $300

Nick Rogschtupofletch will never pay Mondo Grappa his money.

 

[Gobermental Supervisor]

For all we know it's a "good day" because he thinks he just executed some high IQ negotiation tactic that he thinks will work out is his favor. We can't actually trust Nick's sense of reality any more.

It is a good day for him when he is able to get a continuance so the probable cause challenge by Kayla's slightly less retarded lawyer wrote can be ruled on before he has to decide to take the plea or not.

 

[Meat Target]

You know they really don't sell the "Nick has definitely broken up with April" when she's his shadow at every court proceeding he has.

If @Tiki Bar Man 2's notes are anything to go on, I'd say a divorce arc is inbound.

 

[Permanent Resident Cope]

It was looking over and it's not OVAH!

 

[FrenEnthusiast]

I haven't seen this theory yet so I just wanna put it out here before we learn what happened... if Rekieta is bragging on X it makes me think either
A. (Most likely) He got a plea deal and will pretend like pleading guilty and getting probation is a win...
OR and this is more interesting and fits his little pretend victory lap......
B. He got a deal in which he pleads NO CONTEST and he considers it a moral victory that he didn't have to go on record as having plead guilty....
(Best ending) C. He's fucking retarded and gets legit prison time for fucking with Aaron.

 

[Spergichu]

So far, the funniest possible outcome seems to keep occurring regarding the criminal case. I'm not totally sure how this can result in something really fucking funny happening, but it hasn't failed me yet so I have faith.

 

[Midnight Energy Drink]

Cross posting from Ralph’s case thread. Ralph has written a hilarious letter to the judge.

View attachment 6690102

Dear comrade Stalin, as you know I'm in Mexico now. I don't plan on traveling to Moscow any time soon. If you could not send any of your agents to kill me with an ice pick I would be much obliged.
- Ethan Oliver Trotsky

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

I assume there will be a forthcoming order or minute entry of some sort on the criminal docket.