Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

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SO DONT FUCKING BUY IT, DONT FUCKING DRINK IT, DONT FUCKING CLICK MY LINKS.

I mean Christ, all I did was make this thread to support a product which actually pleasantly surprised me, and folks are voting this thread "crap" and suggesting I'm scamming them. I've said repeatedly that this was just my experience and in no way should indicate how everybody else will feel. I've said the links to Amazon were referrals, so I'm not trying to hide anything. I've-

ahh fuck it, I'm closing this thread, fuck you and fuck GBS, I can never post a single goddamn thread in here without you faggots making GBS threads it up in some way or another. I should've learned my lesson long ago and never left the intelligent, rational forum where I don't have to deal with clueless idiots and morons like you people. I'm going back to FYAD and staying there, since it has a microscopic fraction of the retards and trolls populating GBS.

I guess that should strike me as being ironic, but it's more sad to me than anything. Thanks for running me out of my own goddamn forum hotel.
500275393_10236614962737408_85948493832945378_n.webp
 
Don’t think I’ve seen this posted, so here’s the police report from his suicide.

Whoever guessed he offed himself with the FN5.7, come get your prize!

Case LSPD21-07365

Unfounded - No Crime

Disposition
Disposition Date/Time 12/06/21 16:41
Review for Gang Activity None
Investigation Unit: CIU

Case Comments
45 YO male, suicide by weapon

Offense Information

NON-CRIMINAL REPORT (NO OFFENSE)

Offense
Statute
NIBRS Code
Counts
Include In NIBRS Yes
Completed
Yes
Bias Motivation None (no bias)
Location
Entry Forced

Residence/Home
No

1

CFS Responders

120
131
135
622
630
925 (Primary)
3401
3406
3411

Other

0008 - Griffin, Benjamin
0601 - Evans, Brent
1102 - Irr, Jason
0727 - Reese, Michael
8814 - Schumaker, David
2103 - Tyner, Brian

LSPD (Primary)
LSPD (Primary)
LSPD (Primary)
LSPD (Primary)
LSPD (Primary)
LSPD (Primary)
LSPD (Primary)
LSPD (Primary)
LSPD (Primary)

Case LSPD21-07365

Page 1 of 6

Parent/Guardian: NON-CRIMINAL REPORT (NO
OFFENSE)

Parent/Guardian: NON-CRIMINAL REPORT (NO
OFFENSE)

Deceased Person: NON-CRIMINAL REPORT (NO
OFFENSE)

KYANKA, CAROL MARIE

Female, DOB

Home
Cell

KYANKA, RICHARD C

Male, DOB

Home
Cell
Work

KYANKA, RICHARD C

Male, DOB

Home
Home
Cell
Work

Vehicles

FL0T9F MO
2018 Black NISSAN Armada

Names Mentioned in Narratives

KYANKA, CAROL MARIE

KYANKA, RICHARD C

Primary

Primary

KYANKA, RICHARD C

Supporting

Primary Narrative By Brian Tyner

On 11-9-2021 at Officer Evans and I were dispatched to 1252 SE PRINCETON DR on a possible suicide attempt.

Prior to our arrival, CMS advised that Carol Kyanka had gotten an email from her son, Richard Kyanka Jr
(deceased), saying he was planning on killing himself. The email said for her to call police, the doors are unlocked, and
he would be in the master bedroom bathroom.

Upon arrival, I observed the front door to be open with the storm door closed but unlocked. Officer Evans, Sgt.
Griffin and I made entry into the house. We cleared the house and found Richard Jr deceased in the bathtub of the
master bedroom's bathroom. He had a gunshot wound located under his chin. There was blood dripping down from his
shirt and his eyes were swollen. There was a black hand gun laying in his lap.


After locating Richard Jr., Richard Jr.'s father, Richard Kyanka Sr, arrived at the house. He was coming to check on
his son because his wife had told him about the email. We notified him about the passing of his son. While on scene,
he stated the following:

Richard Jr. had been going through a messy divorce over the past two years with his second wife, Megan Kyanka,
who he had children with. He was diagnosed with depression and was seeing a psychiatrist for it. Richard Jr. had
mentioned last year that he thought about killing himself but had not said anything about it since. On the morning of
11-9-2021, Richard Jr. found out that the judgment came through for his divorce and he owed Megan $200,000.00. He
also did not get custody of his kids. Richard Sr. had taken Richard Jr. to see his psychiatrist on the morning of 11-9-
2021. The psychiatrist refused to see Richard Jr. because his blood pressure was too high. Richard Sr. took Richard Jr.
back to 1252 SE PRINCETON DR and dropped him off at 1000 hours. His wife then got an email from Richard Jr. at
1014 hours saying he was going to kill himself. Richard Jr. had been living by himself. His first wife lives in Canada with
one of his other children.

Richard Jr. had his dog in his backyard. Animal control responded and took the dog to the animal shelter. Detective
Reese responded to the scene to process. The Medical Examiner's officer responded to the scene and arrived at 1249
hours. They took possession of the body and transported him to the medical examiner's office.

I took pictures of the scene and transferred them to the report. There was no one on scene to release the house to. I
locked all the doors and windows. We exited through the garage and closed it with the garage door opener. Detective
Reese returned the garage door opener to the family.

EOR
B.Tyner #2103


Supporting Narrative By Brent Evans

On 11/9/2021. at 1101 hours, I responded to 1252 SE Princeton Dr in reference to a suicide. CMS informed me the
front door would be unlocked and the deceased would reportedly be in the master bathroom.

Upon arrival, I observed the front main door open with a closed storm door. I approached with Officer Tyner and
opened the unlocked storm door. I announced my presence, checked for signs of chemical/gaseous means of suicide,
and with no response I entered the home.

Officer Tyner and I checked the residence and ultimately located Richard Kyanka deceased in the master bathroom
tub. The shower doors were closed on arrival and opened by me to locate Richard.

Richard had appeared to have suffered a gunshot wound to the head with blood on the nose and mouth. The blood
had dripped down to his chest and located at his hands, resting at the legs, was a pistol.

Richards father arrived on scene and I informed him of his sons passing. I assisted further by getting a ride home for
the father with Chaplain Nelson. While at his residence I was able to obtain the email that was sent from Richards
email account and forwarded it to mine. I included the content via a Microsoft word form and further down in this
narrative.

There is nothing further to report at this time.


From:
Date: November 9, 2021 at 10:14:57 AM CST
To:
Subject: I love you

I love you, dad, Jessica and the rest of our immediate family and can not thank you enough for your constant love and
support. I am sorry I am not strong enough to keep fighting, but my soul has been worn down by all of this for the past
two decades. I haven't been "living" for a long time now, so I see no difference in what I'm about to do.

Tipsy has water and I fed her. She's in the backyard. Please do not come by; inform the authorities and let them
handle it. Inform them I am in the master bedroom bathroom. The front door is unlocked and there are no threats in the
home. I know the saying of how painful it is for a parent to outlive their child, and I'm so sorry I had to do this to you, but
my body, mind, and soul have given up all hope. I tried, I honestly tried for so long to hold on, but I cannot keep fighting
these women and this judicial system.

I love you all and will forever love you all and cannot express enough gratitude for all your support. I take full
responsibility for my actions and beg of you to shoulder no guilt.

Your loving son / brother,

Rich

PS: please simply remember me by doing absolutely everything possible to ruin the careers of Dana Outlaw and Judge
Stupid Fucking Lazy Ass Garrett. Also let Scott know the absolute only service he provided to me was yelling at me,
and yelling at me to pay him more.

I am sorry for what I am about to do to myself and hope you can empathize and forgive me some day. You've always
tried to support me and give me hope. I am just not able to accept the concept of hope anymore. I love you guys so
much and I just want you to know I could've never had a more loving family, but I need to end this letter.

I wish I could've been strong enough. Or less trusting enough.

Investigative Supplement Narrative By Michael Reese
CIU Call-Out


On 11/09/2021, I was contacted by CIU Sgt. Liles and advised I needed to responded to 1252 SE Princeton Dr in
reference to an active death investigation involving a male with an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound. Upon my
arrival, I contacted Patrol Sgt. Griffin, Patrol Officer Irr and Probation Patrol Officer Tyner who updated me with their
initial observations and contacts. After being updated, I proceeded to take photographs while making my own
observations. Prior to entering the residence, I observed a single vehicle parked in the driveway, a black Nissan
Armada SUV with Missouri license plate FL0 T9F. Upon entering the residence, I observed no signs of forced entry to
the front door or door frame as well as no signs of forced entry to the rear sliding glass door or door frame. I observed
the main level of the residence to be clean and in order with no signs of any type of disturbance and then I observed a
single dog outside the residence on the rear deck. On the kitchen table, I located a passport for (DEC) Richard Kyanka
I was later advised was earlier located by Officer Tyner who placed it on the kitchen table. The lower level of the
residence was also clean and in order with no signs of any type of disturbance. The basement was in consistent
condition with various video and audio equipment present as well as a home computer. The garage did not contain any
vehicles and once again observed to be clean and in order with several pieces of higher-end audio and video
equipment present. Upon going to the upper level of the residence, I entered a spare bedroom that was clean with no
signs of any type of disturbance. On the bed, I observed a rifle, separated magazine, empty handgun case, sight and a
box of 9 mm ammunition. On the floor to the left of the bed, I observed an empty soft rife case. On the floor to the
right of the bed, I observed two separate cases with one having a empty handgun magazines and the other to contain
three separate handguns with accessories and magazines.

Upon entering the master bedroom, I observed a T.V. present to be on, the bed to unmade with an empty black leather

Case LSPD21-07365

Page 4 of 6

handgun holster laying on top of it toward the foot end, a night stand and T.V. tray containing miscellaneous
medications, glass smoking pipe, snacks, energy drink cans, cleaning products and a Nissan vehicle FOB key. On the
floor of the bedroom, I observed a large glass jar containing U.S. currency and coins that did not appear to be
disturbed. Inside the master bathroom, I observed a fully clothed white male laying in the bath tub with one half of the
shower doors open who was slightly sitting-up with his head laying back on top of a white towel. The males eyelids
were closed and observed to be very dark in color. The male had a large amount of blood emitting from his eyes, nose,
ear and mouth covering the majority of the lower right portion of his face then down his neck toward his chest. I
observed the male to be wearing a dark gray T-shirt, black pants and white socks. On the males lap in-between his
right and left hands, I observed a black semi-automatic handgun resting on his waist line. On the bottom of the bathtub
in-between the males legs, I observed a black touch-screen cellular phone. On the inside of the bathtub, several small
specks of blood spatter were observed as well as a small piece of tissue on the corner ledge.

I proceeded to remove the main bathroom door from the hinges and the two shower doors to provide better access for
the Medical Examiner Investigator. Upon the arrival of Jackson County Missouri Medical Examiner Investigator Melissa
Failing, she was able to conduct her investigation and assist me with additional photographs. An inspection of
Kyanka's head revealed him to have an apparent close contact large gunshot entrance wound under his chin. Further
inspection of the head revealed no other apparent wounds consistent with a gunshot exit wound. An inspection of the
remainder of Kyanka's body revealed no located injuries or signs of any form of physical disturbance.

I proceeded to recover the handgun identified as a Black FN Herstal semi-automatic with one loaded magazine. Upon
clearing the handgun, I observed the chamber to contain a single spent FNG 5.7 cal shell casing also recovered that is
consistent with a semiautomatic not able to eject a fired round due to the muzzle being pressed-up against an object
not allowing the slide to move. I observed the magazine to contain a total of nine (9) FNG 5.7 cal unspent rounds that
were recovered. I then recovered the located cellular phone that was observed to be a One Plus touch screen smart
phone along with the empty black leather handgun holster located on the bed. All the recovered items and
photographs were entered into property as evidence.

After the Medical Examiner Investigator recovered Kyanka and had him transported to the Medical Examiner's office, I
retrieved one of two garage door opener remotes located in the residence, secured the residence and responded to
the address of Kyanka's parents to speak with them and provided them with the garage door remote.

EOR/Det.Reese


Investigative Supplement Narrative By Michael Reese
Contact with Richard Kyanka's parents


On 11/09/2021, I responded to the residence of (DEC) Richard Kyanka's parents located at 701 NW Cedar Creek Ln.
Upon my arrival, I updated both his parents with limited information and provided them with the garage door opener for
their son's residence. During this time, I was updated with a brief history of the recent divorce process and problems
their son had been dealing with involving both the first ex-wife and second ex-wife associated to the recent divorce.
(Parent) Carol Kyanka, Richard's mother than showed me the e-mail she received from her son that she had already
forwarded to Patrol Officer Evans. I reviewed the e-mail Richard had sent her shortly before the call for service that
revealed the following details:

" From:
Date: November 9, 2021 at 10:14:57 AM CST
To:
Subject: I love you

I love you, dad, Jessica and the rest of our immediate family and can not thank you enough for your constant love and
support. I am sorry I am not strong enough to keep fighting, but my soul has been worn down by all of this for the past
two decades. I haven't been "living" for a long time now, so I see no difference in what I'm about to do.

Case LSPD21-07365

Page 5 of 6

Tipsy has water and I fed her. She's in the backyard. Please do not come by; inform the authorities and let them
handle it. Inform them I am in the master bedroom bathroom. The front door is unlocked and there are no threats in the
home. I know the saying of how painful it is for a parent to outlive their child, and I'm so sorry I had to do this to you, but
my body, mind, and soul have given up all hope. I tried, I honestly tried for so long to hold on, but I cannot keep fighting
these women and this judicial system.

I love you all and will forever love you all and cannot express enough gratitude for all your support. I take full
responsibility for my actions and beg of you to shoulder no guilt.

Your loving son / brother,

Rich

PS: please simply remember me by doing absolutely everything possible to ruin the careers of Dana Outlaw and Judge
Stupid Fucking Lazy Ass Garrett. Also let Scott know the absolute only service he provided to me was yelling at me,
and yelling at me to pay him more.

I am sorry for what I am about to do to myself and hope you can empathize and forgive me some day. You've always
tried to support me and give me hope. I am just not able to accept the concept of hope anymore. I love you guys so
much and I just want you to know I could've never had a more loving family, but I need to end this letter.

I wish I could've been strong enough. Or less trusting enough."

Upon obtaining a copy of the letter, I entered it into property as evidence.

EOR/Det.Reese
Investigative Supplement Narrative By Michael Reese
JACO Medical Examiner Report Received, Case Cleared

On 12/03/2021, I received the completed Jackson County Missouri Medical Examiner Report for (DEC) Richard
Kyanka. A review of the report revealed the following:

Cause of Death: Submental gunshot wound
Manner: Suicide

A copy of the full report was entered into property as evidence and the family was updated with the findings.

I recommend this case be cleared.

EOR/Det.Reese
Investigative Supplement Narrative By Michael Reese
Medical Examiner Property Received

On 03/15/2022, I responded to the Jackson County Missouri Medical Examiner's Office where I was provided with
property/evidence recovered during their examination/investigation along with an itemized report of the property being
released. I transported all the received property and itemized report back to the Lee's Summit Police Department
where everything was entered into property.

EOR/Det.Reese

Case LSPD21-07365

Page 6 of 6

Suicide note

Lowtax Anhero.webp
 

Attachments

Last edited:
I gave the report a read. Here are the notable things that caught my eye:

-The report mentions that he had a 2018 Black Nissan Armada parked in his driveway. I was pretty sure the car Lowtax obsessed over was a Nissan GTR. Did he trade it in at some point before he offed himself?
-According to the OP, Lowtax's last known communication was a Discord message at 9:30 AM on the day of his death. The report says that his actual last known communication was a suicide note he emailed his dad at 10:15.
-The email outright states he did it because of how fucked over he was in both of his divorce cases. He told his dad to just call the police so they didn't have to see his corpse.
-He locked his dog outside right before he shot himself. The report says the dog was unharmed and taken to an animal shelter.
-As @Throwing Romans already stated, the report confirmed he had offed himself with the FN5.7, but it also mentioned two gun cases were sitting on his bed. One for the 5.7, and another for an unspecified rifle. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little curious about what the rifle was and/or why he chose the 5.7 over that.
-Rich's suicide email he sent to his dad was forwarded to a police officer who included it in the report. I'm including it under the spoiler for posterity, bad grammar and punctuation intact:
From:
Date: November 9, 2021 at 10:14:57 AM CST
To:
Subject: I love you

I love you, dad, Jessica and the rest of our immediate family and can not thank you enough for your constant love and support. I am sorry I am not strong enough to keep fighting, but my soul has been worn down by all of this for the past two decades. I haven't been "living" for a long time now, so I see no difference in what I'm about to do.

Tipsy has water and I fed her. She's in the backyard. Please do not come by; inform the authorities and let them handle it. Inform them I am in the master bedroom bathroom. The front door is unlocked and there are no threats in the home. I know the saying of how painful it is for a parent to outlive their child, and I'm so sorry I had to do this to you, but my body, mind, and soul have given up all hope. I tried, I honestly tried for so long to hold on, but I cannot keep fighting these women and this judicial system.

I love you all and will forever love you all and cannot express enough gratitude for all your support. I take full responsibility for my actions and beg of you to shoulder no guilt.

Your loving son / brother,
Rich

PS: please simply remember me by doing absolutely everything possible to ruin the careers of Dana Outlaw and Judge Stupid Fucking Lazy Ass Garrett. Also let Scott know the absolute only service he provided to me was yelling at me, and yelling at me to pay him more.

I am sorry for what I am about to do to myself and hope you can empathize and forgive me some day. You've always tried to support me and give me hope. I am just not able to accept the concept of hope anymore. I love you guys so much and I just want you to know I could've never had a more loving family, but I need to end this letter.

I wish I could've been strong enough. Or less trusting enough.
 
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Mentions his dad and sister directly but the mother who would wash his dirty crapped briefs and harass his ex wifes only gets lumped with the rest of the family? Nor a mention of his daughter? As much as i want to feel pity for LowTax even in his final moments he made it really difficult to do so.
 
Whoever guessed he offed himself with the FN5.7, come get your prize!
I win! Knew that mother fucker used the meme gun.

The report mentions that he had a 2018 Black Nissan Armada parked in his driveway. I was pretty sure the car Lowtax obsessed over was a Nissan GTR. Did he trade it in at some point before he offed himself?
The GTR was leased to Something Awful, LLC.
That was gone when he sold to Jeffo and I believe well before, once the patreon appocalypse happened.

According to the OP, Lowtax's last known communication was a Discord message at 9:30 AM on the day of his death. The report says that his actual last known communication was a suicide note he emailed his dad at 10:15.
I'm surprised he got up that early to off himself.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little curious about what the rifle was and/or why he chose the 5.7 over that.
Rifles are a little unweilding. Hand guns are much easier to point and click.



Now, while I told you mother fuckers he used the fucking belgian moon round, I will admit to being wrong on several key aspects.

We cleared the house and found Richard Jr deceased in the bathtub of the master bedroom's bathroom.
[...]
Officer Tyner and I checked the residence and ultimately located Richard Kyanka deceased in the master bathroom tub. The shower doors were closed on arrival and opened by me to locate Richard.
He did, in fact, think of other people for once in his worthless life.
He killed himself in the bathtub for easy clean up and notified someone so he wouldn't be a rotting putrified mess.

Further inspection of the head revealed no other apparent wounds consistent with a gunshot exit wound. An inspection of the remainder of Kyanka's body revealed no located injuries or signs of any form of physical disturbance.
The fudds lied to me. The 5.7 was stopped in Lowtax's skull and he died nearly instantly.

The lower level of the residence was also clean and in order with no signs of any type of disturbance.
I really doubt this. Zero signs of Richard's crusty breifs. I guess mom was coming over regularly to clean? Or did they pay off the cops to not report on the goonhovel state and tranny feces on the coffee table?

Upon entering the master bedroom, I observed a T.V. present to be on, the bed to unmade with an empty black leather

Case LSPD21-07365 Page 4 of 6
toward the foot end, a night stand and T.V. tray containing miscellaneous medications, glass smoking pipe, snacks, energy drink cans, cleaning products and a Nissan vehicle FOB key.
Lowtax WAS on drugs.

On the morning of 11-9-2021, Richard Jr. found out that the judgment came through for his divorce and he owed Megan $200,000.00. He also did not get custody of his kids.
I think Lowtax Sr might not be fully all there. His (then) current divorce was with Ashley. The only thing going on with Megan, per permabanned shitposter detectives, was Megan supporting Lady Ambien's case and fighting Lowtax's attempts to lower his child support obligations.

But if true:
Lowtax killed himself over $200,000.
Just dwell on that. Not even three years before nigga was making well over that every year doing nothing but eating mail-order pies, driving three hours for Applebee-tier food, and cheating on his wife leaving her to watch their newborn daughter.
Now, eating a moonround over $200,000.

lol.

Also:
The psychiatrist refused to see Richard Jr. because his blood pressure was too high.
What the fuck?!
 
PS: please simply remember me by doing absolutely everything possible to ruin the careers of Dana Outlaw and Judge Stupid Fucking Lazy Ass Garrett. Also let Scott know the absolute only service he provided to me was yelling at me, and yelling at me to pay him more.
What a fucking asshole, right until the end.
 
lol what? This is not something that happens. A psychiatrist does not see a patient with high blood pressure and go "you need to leave". Was this maybe referencing that he refused to fill his Adderall which can raise blood pressure and the cop who wrote this didn't understand? I have never once heard of a psychiatrist refusing treatment because of high blood pressure. They are doctors and there to treat illness.
Screenshot 2025-06-02 234528.webp
 
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-According to the OP, Lowtax's last known communication was a Discord message at 9:30 AM on the day of his death. The report says that his actual last known communication was a suicide note he emailed his dad at 10:15.
It also turns out that he was with his dad until 10:00. So that Discord message ("See you on the flipside, Hermie") was sent while he was presumably in his dad's car. He had made the decision to off himself at least 30 minutes before he got home.
So, if I'm reading this correctly, Rich is the product of incest?
I assume he cc'd his sister.
 
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