Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

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thor is standing by his shit game thato nly gets updates when it gets review bombed or he gets involved in internet drama and is reminded of his failure

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special appearance of the cult of piroach ferretpiss justifying no puytting anything on the stable branch of your early access game for a YEAR

EDIT: iforgot the FUCKING screenshot fropm thors ticket
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Links:
mellow onlines post
https://x.com/MellowOnline1/status/1888324773597389117 (A)
thor first response
https://x.com/PirateSoftware/status/1888319569712042341 (A)
second response
https://x.com/PirateSoftware/status/1888323770424897536 (A)
mellow onlines apology
https://x.com/MellowOnline1/status/1888328026573730252 (A)

So all the Heartbound fans coming back to enjoy the games long awaited new quit button never even got to use it?

 

[ChromaQuack]

Or Berserk from beyond the grave of all things.

Guts got off the boat before this nigger finished his game.

We really ought to start a list of things that finished/might finish before the ferretfaggot's game.

So far :
-George RR Martin Aka @Potentially Criminal might actually drop the last two books of a song of fire and ice.
-One Piece has a high chance of ending.
-Berserk has a high chance of ending even with its author sadly deceased.
-Guts got off the 7 year boat hiatus.
-Byuu was proven as dead.
-Null finally got a bank account.

 

[Black Willow Lurker]

I had to fly around the country all the time. Drop of a hat. You don't really get to live a life with that. I was making more money than God! It was not, a life. Because you can't have any hobbies. You can't have any emotional attachments.

That's "CEO of a corporation with 17 employees, working 30 hours a day" BTW. I'm sure he's much happier now, with his newfound hobby of blankly staring at a screen at least 12 hours a day, and considering what happens to the subjects of his "emotional attachment", I'd say it was probably better for him to continue LARP'ing as Jason BondMaldavius Figtree.

Anyway, here's another video (PT) on Mald:

It's pretty painful to watch, however the guy claims to have contacted Mald's former underage slave and got a response (should've led with that, honestly; response @1:35, the rest of the clip is context):

Also, something I missed the first time Mald responded to the SL story: how the fuck did the "we became best friends after 5 years" happened, exactly? Like, it's not impossible, but somehow I don't see Mald going "I'm sorry I was an asshole 5 years ago, can we have sex now uwu?".

 

[Mikhail Tukhachevsky]

but somehow I don't see Mald going "I'm sorry I was an asshole 5 years ago, can we have sex now uwu?".

Considering he is an egomaniac furry swinger, I can see him saying that

 

[potato sack]

Why doesn't he just push his crappy new update to the main branch, how much beta testing goes into testing `#` in a new font?

because hes at the "sticking to my own guns til i shoot myself" moment. he aint gonna budge cos thats what pirate does, he either stays or runs away.

so hes eiter taking his game outta steam and putting it on epic, putting it on his own online store like tarkov, or leavin the tag.

I really just dont understand the gymnastics involved in creating a private branch for "beta" when its in early access. Is early access not the beta??

i can shed some light into this

the early access program is misused by faggots who think what its made for is to release a game that is unfinished. i dont mean unfinished like it isnt 100% done, i mean unfinished as in there is no game in there.

that is to say either a replayable gameplay loop of some sort or an ending

take three games as examples, the forest, rimworld and project zomboid. all fo them have or had early access programs, all are succesful with varying degrees. all had beta brances for new builds. two things were crucial in difference to heartbound and the faggots i meant:

- there was already a replayable gameplay loop (rimworld already had an ending at launch in EA)
- the update chunks didnt take an entire year to leave the beta branch (except perhaps zomboids most recent b42 but they had problems with development and didnt treat their consumers with radio silence)

at the very least, those games had constant news updates about the state of the game, events and how things were going through news article. i encourage checking their steam pages for yourself to see what i mean

EDIT: i remembered another, probably example: black mesa. didnt release the last chapter for years, had a really good reason. look it up, another success story, cos they had the entire game up to the normally hated last chapter locked down.

oh yeah and if mald is reading this and thinks these are different genres or in the case of black mesa a remake, undertales dev cycle took 32 months, and toby fox became a millionare only after it came out

this is heartbound

two beta branc updates, an april fools updates, and the 13 month smoking gun

50 year experience it, master hacker, gestated blizzard into existence, doesnt fucking know how to provide a news feed for his game on steam

 

[p1138]

- the update chunks didnt take an entire year to leave the beta branch (except perhaps zomboids most recent b42 but they had problems with development and didnt treat their consumers with radio silence)

The simple reality is that if Steam's cut-off for this is not having an update done in 12 months, as much as Mald bitched on twitter about how it will somehow screw developers, it's a non-issue for anyone still actually doing any work on their damned game. The only time a studio would have a legitimate excuse to not be able to get a damned thing done in the course of a fucking year is the most dire of circumstances like their shit being in ukraine and the office getting bombed or something while people are in the office. And even then, specifically in the office because any appropriate collab environment and backups would also render that moot as they'd just need to get equipment and recover elsewhere(unless they really can't afford to replace comptuers but again that's an incredibly dire circumstance that most devs will never encounter unless retardation is afoot).

 

[Scorpion From MK]

Anyway, here's another video

Spoiler: Local Archive

Also, something I missed the first time Mald responded to the SL story: how the fuck did the "we became best friends after 5 years" happened, exactly? Like, it's not impossible, but somehow I don't see Mald going "I'm sorry I was an asshole 5 years ago, can we have sex now uwu?".

I think it's more valuable to focus on the contradictions in Mald’s conduct during that situation rather than making exaggerated claims like 'He went to a minor’s house to have sex,' because: a) the age difference was 19-17, and b) it gives Mald an opportunity to dismiss everything by saying, 'These people are spreading lies about me.":




(https://archive.vn/s47Z0#selection-761.28-761.40)



In his Discord response, Mald claims that Wingless was never fired and that they left on their own. However, this directly contradicts his own words from the time. In an IRC chat log, Mald explicitly said: "I fired her. She didn’t work for two months, missed meetings because she was playing WoW and/or was too lazy to come, and then freaked out when I said I would be paying her on Fridays instead of at the point of sale due to tax complications." This is the exact opposite of what he later claimed in Discord, where he said: "They were never fired."

The artist in the DM to the Youtuber stated that they actually quit over disagreements about payment changes and that Mald falsely told others he fired them to "save face." This suggests that Mald was lying at some point, either in 2008 when he told others he fired Wingless or in his later Discord statement when he said they were never fired. Regardless of which version is true, his story has changed to suit different narratives. Ultimately, Mald's only consistent claim is the dispute over pay splits.

 

[Pennypacker]

Don't worry, he already has a plan.

Hopefully Valve sees through this basic attempt to evade their warning.
Hasn't released a real update in 13 months, how's that working out for you bud?

 

[potato sack]

Hopefully Valve sees through this basic attempt to evade their warning.
Hasn't released a real update in 13 months, how's that working out for you bud?

even if valve doesnt the rest of the planet will

 

[BLTAnnihilator]

Ignore the quality of his code, he's never finishing Heartbound literally ever with the pace he's working on it. Literal children make games in Roblox faster than he added a quit button and they'll still be faster than him just pushing out the next 3 real updates.

At this rate people are going to talk about him like the Anthony Burch of programming. "You think you're bad at programming? At least you're not Jason Hall.

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

Guts got off the boat before this nigger finished his game.

We really ought to start a list of things that finished/might finish before the ferretfaggot's game.

So far :
-George RR Martin Aka @Potentially Criminal might actually drop the last two books of a song of fire and ice.
-One Piece has a high chance of ending.
-Berserk has a high chance of ending even with its author sadly deceased.
-Guts got off the 7 year boat hiatus.
-Byuu was proven as dead.
-Null finally got a bank account.

Rate me optimistic but G-man's voice actor teased hl3 news and if hl3 releases first I'll never let him live it down

 

[protorua]

> https://archive.vn/s47Z0#selection-761.28-761.40
Chat logs of him complaining about someone playing WoW instead of working is just beautiful

 

[my penis is on fire]

Alternatively he could just... work on the game and release a regular patch?

...does he not know how to use Git?

 

[Black Willow Lurker]

...does he not know how to use Git?

Not only does he know how to use Git, he's hosting the entirety of GitHub in his "home laboratory" (normally I'd assume he's just self-hosting a Git server, but I think he legit went into a word-salad mode there, and I'm pretty sure you can't self-host a GitHub instance so there's that):

 

[Mulbruk]

Not only does he know how to use Git, he's hosting the entirety of GitHub in his "home laboratory" (normally I'd assume he's just self-hosting a Git server, but I think he legit went into a word-salad mode there, and I'm pretty sure you can't self-host a GitHub instance so there's that):

This just sounds like hackerman talk from someone who has never worked with sensitive materials or dealt with multiple repo projects. If it's sensitive enough to require you air gapping to a homelab server why not keep it all there?

Unless he's trying to make it sound like he uses his homelab as a C&C server for his toolkit?

 

[Shmelvin Sneed]

Remember when people started making yandere sim clones to spite Alex?

Good idea!

 

[my penis is on fire]

Good idea!

@nool Kiwi Farms Game Jam when

 

[Black Willow Lurker]

This just sounds like hackerman talk from someone who has never worked with sensitive materials or dealt with multiple repo projects. If it's sensitive enough to require you air gapping to a homelab server why not keep it all there?

Unless he's trying to make it sound like he uses his homelab as a C&C server for his toolkit?

Ok, I almost ACK-ed trying to parse what Mald said there, and I still don't fucking know. Best I can tell is that Mald claims to have multiple private GitHub accounts which host some of his super secret h4x0r software (Pirate Software, even), and then said h4x0r software requires some "pieces" which are hosted on Mald's "home laboratory" server(s). What the fuck does "I have a bunch of different control methods into that with a bunch of different accounts that have different control methods over that" actually means (and why would Mald think that his code is special) I've no idea.

Good idea!

Are we doing the KiwiJam now? EDIT: Fucking ninja'd.

 

[Elite Kipchak]

Good idea!
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get ready for the finding out phase, kid. this is literally illegal.

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

if he had anything of interest his former employers would be knocking on his door right now asking why he has their data on a personal device. he's full of shit