Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

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Clyde Cash's Left Teste said:
Something about the idea of holding a copy of Geno's Doc and being able to put it on my TV via DVD is amazing to me.

There better be some damn cool special features when it comes out.
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Or being able to set it ablaze
Just imagine
>WWIII
>humanity is gone
>some alien speices finds last remnants of our civilization
>they decode a set of dvds
>it's Chris Chan Comprehensive history
 
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Mark Heathcliff said:
Or being able to set it ablaze
Just imagine
>WWIII
>humanity is gone
>some alien speices finds last remnants of our civilization
>they decode a set of dvds
>it's Chris Chan Comprehensive history
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we presume aliens are gonna have the same values and understanding as us, but i assure you if they come to earth and find these tapes, theyre not gonna be so much horrified as confused as to what the hell a "twitter" is and why we cared so much to document someone using it to talk at length about a "cartoon" revolving around... "horses"??
 
Cuntspiracy Man said:
we presume aliens are gonna have the same values and understanding as us, but i assure you if they come to earth and find these tapes, theyre not gonna be so much horrified as confused as to what the hell a "twitter" is and why we cared so much to document someone using it to talk at length about a "cartoon" revolving around... "horses"??
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The aliens would be shocked at Chris’s online bullying as an example of man’s inhumanity to man. When they hit the Christine/Barb arc that’s when they glass the planet.
 
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Mark Heathcliff said:
Or being able to set it ablaze
Just imagine
>WWIII
>humanity is gone
>some alien speices finds last remnants of our civilization
>they decode a set of dvds
>it's Chris Chan Comprehensive history
Click to expand...
Alien Archeologist: "This species chose to spend its final hours mocking a fat retard. Fascinating."

Alien Supervisor: "Put it back in the hole."

But unknown to the alien supervisor the archeologist kept a trinket of his find...

alien-holding-earth-computer-illustration-2B76WBP.jpg

It is the year 219467 and the demon is awake once again
 
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Retarded Gangstalker said:
Alien Archeologist: "This species chose to spend its final hours mocking a fat retard. Fascinating."

Alien Supervisor: "Put it back in the hole."

But unknown to the alien supervisor the archeologist kept a trinket of his find...

View attachment 6945415

It is the year 219467 and the demon is awake once again
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NGL, "humanity being the outer space/alien horror" is always a fun trope.

But having it via CWC and the medallion now makes it hilarious.
 
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FedPostalService said:
The aliens would be shocked at Chris’s online bullying as an example of man’s inhumanity to man. When they hit the Christine/Barb arc that’s when they glass the planet.
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that still relies on them having
1. the belief that 'bullying' is wrong, and firstly the understanding of what the internet even is and how pointing and laughing at someone through an impenetrable network is even a past time
2. have the biological human bias against incest
 
Was the video in the op re-uploaded at any point, and if so can the op be edited to include a good link
 
Agreeably4263 said:
Was the video in the op re-uploaded at any point, and if so can the op be edited to include a good link
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Here on the cwcki you can find links to the old removed comprehensive history videos. They're not drastically different from the ones up now, mostly a new voiceover and better pixelation to cover up the NSFW scenes, so that Youtube won't take down the video and sent a strike to the channel.
 
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PyrrhicRustle said:
Looks like he’s more alright than he’s ever been to me.
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I do think there are some odd rituals. Like we know about Skull and Bones at Yale and their masturbation rituals and a ton of politicians graduated from Yale, generally the nasty ones. And I've never had a black eye in my life but it seems like celebrities often get a black eye at some point, and the politicians really shouldn't be fistfighting each other because someone's going to break a hip at their ages. They generally have some mundane excuse like they had an accident at the gym or bumped their head on the Popemobile. And they might be on anticoagulants too.

Regarding stuff like the Knights Templar making it to the US hundreds of years before Columbus, I am very skeptical. There's just a lack of evidence. It could just be made up like the Book of Mormon's story about Hebrews coming to the US. I think the only pre-Columbian contact was the Vikings around 1000 AD, and I think a couple of dead native Americans washed up in a boat in Norway or something one time. They may have been from Greenland. Also there may have been a population of people in South America descended from Pacific islanders, that's about it.

Show me them Arks!

With JFK, I think the truth would have come out earlier but it must be embarrassing. Maybe they want to make sure everyone who remembers the assassination is long dead. I go with the idea that Oswald fired two rounds, striking JFK once. Then a third shot was fired by someone else on the ground, and it exploded JFK's head. It is likely this came from a Secret Service agent who accidentally pulled the trigger on his AR-15 as his vehicle accelerated.

I wonder if that gun used to shoot James Garfield will ever turn up. Apparently the Smithsonian got it and then just lost it. The assassin figured it would end up in a museum so he went and bought an expensive gun with a mother of pearl grip so it would look cool in the display case. I wouldn't be surprised if there's someone out there who has it in a cigar box somewhere.
 

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Cuntspiracy Man said:
i wanna believe research into something chris adjacent led him to discovering these truths
like the extreme version of looking up tiger breeds for a class project and coming across an in-depth entry about stalin's personal favorite toiletries and bathing rituals
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You research Chris, you are now ready to dismantle the deep state. The group effort of the Internet documenting Chris is a psyop to cultivate individuals with unique mental toolsets capable of conducting meticulous, in-depth research on seemingly mundane details.
 
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verymuchawful said:
You research Chris, you are now ready to dismantle the deep state. The group effort of the Internet documenting Chris is a psyop to cultivate individuals with unique mental toolsets capable of conducting meticulous, in-depth research on seemingly mundane details.
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maybe that's why places like wikipedia are ADAMENTLY refusing to even mention him
seriously, haven't you ever thought it's weird? sure you might say, it's just cause he's niche, but nope, no more niche than many other things they bring up- they even went as far as to scrub his name from innocent things he was involved in like fan projects where other smaller artists of note got credit
well maybe it's cause his story is so strange and they don't wanna dirty their hands? well they talk about things way more crude, and are even happy to do so
chris isn't a political figure or rich person who can pay to have himself wiped off of there either, nor is he so involved in sociopolitical matters or business that there would be an agenda to not speak of him
the only conclusion is that there's something about him in particular that bothers them
 
Cuntspiracy Man said:
maybe that's why places like wikipedia are ADAMENTLY refusing to even mention him
seriously, haven't you ever thought it's weird? sure you might say, it's just cause he's niche, but nope, no more niche than many other things they bring up- they even went as far as to scrub his name from innocent things he was involved in like fan projects where other smaller artists of note got credit
well maybe it's cause his story is so strange and they don't wanna dirty their hands? well they talk about things way more crude, and are even happy to do so
chris isn't a political figure or rich person who can pay to have himself wiped off of there either, nor is he so involved in sociopolitical matters or business that there would be an agenda to not speak of him
the only conclusion is that there's something about him in particular that bothers them
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I mean, the simplest, most likely explanation is that anything that mentioned Chris on Wikipedia tended to get incessantly vandalized, so thereafter any mention of "Chris Chan" became blacklisted. Probably could make a Chris Chan article now, since weening is down from what I can tell, but I doubt they'd reverse the policy at this point.
 
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GeorgeMilton said:
I mean, the simplest, most likely explanation is that anything that mentioned Chris on Wikipedia tended to get incessantly vandalized, so thereafter any mention of "Chris Chan" became blacklisted. Probably could make a Chris Chan article now, since weening is down from what I can tell, but I doubt they'd reverse the policy at this point.
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weening is never down, theres only nothing to ween atm
 
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