Its not transphobic for someone not wanting to sleep with trans ppl even if ur fully post op
Yes it is. If you can't distinguish a trans person from a cis person, then the only reason you wouldn't want to be with the trans person is because they are a minority, which is bigoted. It's like saying bisexuals are tricking straight partners by not disclosing their orientation. There's no legitimate reason why it would be relevant.
***
Trans people don't owe cis people anything
***
if you are non passing, shouldn't that be obvious that u are trans?
aside from this, i really hate this entire conversation of should you tell before sex. to me if you don't tell someone, you are basically robbing them of agency, but then again, if they are having casual sex with strangers, then they obviously are not religious enough to use that as a moral justification to not.
personally, i will never sleep with someone outside of a committed relationship, and anyone that i am in a relationship with will be told, so that isn't an issue for me.
***
From a
ethical point of view, you should warn a person of what he/she is gonna find. If you're non-op and you plan to have sex, you should warn about it some moment prior to intimacy.
If your body and external genitalia are female, you shouldn't be
ethically required to disclose when it come to
casual sex, the same than a cis woman who had their gonad removed should not be required to disclose in that same scenario. Internal gonads are reproductive organs, and casual sex is not about having offspring.
That said, you should care not only about ethics but about safety too, and disclosing can be a safety tool. Getting beat up hurts the same whether you are right or you aren't.
***
I think people are misunderstanding the question.. I think what OP is asking is whether a non-passing person should have to disclose they're trans. I've actually thought about this before, I only started passing well recently, and I would always think how even if I wanted to meet people, I'd just be seen as a regular cis woman (even if more masculine/androgynous looking), and I didn't want that.
I don't think it should be disclosed, even the "rape by deception" argument wouldn't apply here considering the partner thought they were sleeping with an AMAB/AFAB and that's what they got. But I don't see why any trans person would want to put themselves in that kind of situation either, I mean how desperate would you have to be to be willing to be misgendered and put into other dysphoria inducing situations just to get a one night stand?
***
No one has to disclose ever.