Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[Nick Gars]

So literally: "I'm doing monthly updates to my game that was supposed to be finished years ago."

"Oh, and you're the playtester for these updates, dear customer! I didn't debug shit, fuck you."

Lovely, Jason.

 

[Slav Power]

This is likely a small brain take, but what is wrong with ctrl+s as a quicksave hotkey? It's probably hardwired into a lot of peoples brains already as the save shortcut.

Try beating something like STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl with Ctrl+S bound as quicksave and you'll quickly find out why it's under F5.

 

[Ducks Sorted in a Row]

Try beating something like STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl with Ctrl+S bound as quicksave and you'll quickly find out why it's under F5.

n.b. heartbound is not stalker. i see no reason why ctrl+s would be a problem in heartbound.

 

[Trans Randy]

no, here spacebar saves your game
F5 is for jump. F8 is for crouch

Alt+F4 to move right
Delete system32 to move left

 

[Slav Power]

n.b. heartbound is not stalker. i see no reason why ctrl+s would be a problem in heartbound.

Yes, but his question was more about the general game design aspect. Obviously for Undertale-likes and visual novels Ctrl+S would be okay, but for most games you will use WASD for movement and Ctrl as a common modifier, so you'll be accidentally hitting those two keys together very often. I know cuz at one point I had Everything bound to Ctrl+Shift+S and I'd constantly bring it up when playing STALKER.

 

[Maldavius Figtree]

Definetly looks like save corruption from a debug feature being active. If I can find a 3rd party key (so Jason gets no money), I'll dick around and try to figure out whats going on, but I'm not about to give this hack fraud $10 to playtest his game he'll never finish, for him.

You can buy via steam and refund as long as you played less than 2 hours. Would even allow you to leave a review

 

[The sticky sock]

You can buy via steam and refund as long as you played less than 2 hours. Would even allow you to leave a review

I'd be careful the story is enough to suck you in for days, you'll have more than 100 hours in the game before you know.

 

[Nick Gars]

You can buy via steam and refund as long as you played less than 2 hours. Would even allow you to leave a review

I try not to abuse the refund policy, just because Steam jannies are some of the biggest faggots in existence and I rather not tempt them.

I have checked every single grey-market site for a key. G2A has 1 for $15. His game is such boring uninteresting dogshit, even the grey market doesn't want it. Lmao

 

[potato sack]

'please read the patch notes' in the most condescending tone

god this faggot is faggot

G2A has 1 for $15

wtf the game is 10 dollars lmfao

 

[Nick Gars]

wtf the game is 10 dollars lmfao

The grey market is weird like that. If they have a surplus of keys and the games a couple years old, you can get like 12 for the price of 1 full priced copy. When they only have 1, you get weird prices like this. It is literally the only key I found. Usually when theres a limited amount of keys, its a dollar or two more, not a 50% mark up. For American prices, you're usually better off just buying it on Steam in this scenario, but it may still be a "deal" elsewhere. Steam has all kinds of odd regional limitations, so it probably makes sense somewhere in the world.

The fact a single key is all that exists is pretty telling of how little anyone cares about HB. I can usually find keys for all kinds of obscure and garbage games with minimal issue, not this one.

Now all of the sudden, it's $16. Almost makes me wonder if they run crawlers or something to automatically adjust prices based on shit like how often a game is searched on grey market sites.

https://www.g2a.com/heartbound-steam-gift-global-i10000179312002

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

The grey market is weird like that. If they have a surplus of keys and the games a couple years old, you can get like 12 for the price of 1 full priced copy. When they only have 1, you get weird prices like this. It is literally the only key I found. Usually when theres a limited amount of keys, its a dollar or two more, not a 50% mark up. For American prices, you're usually better off just buying it on Steam in this scenario, but it may still be a "deal" elsewhere. Steam has all kinds of odd regional limitations, so it probably makes sense somewhere in the world.

The fact a single key is all that exists is pretty telling of how little anyone cares about HB. I can usually find keys for all kinds of obscure and garbage games with minimal issue, not this one.

Now all of the sudden, it's $16. Almost makes me wonder if they run crawlers or something to automatically adjust prices based on shit like how often a game is searched on grey market sites.

https://www.g2a.com/heartbound-steam-gift-global-i10000179312002

Jason would use the lack of keys for his game to claim his, "Brilliant anti key theft plans are surely working."
Not that no one wants to pay for his dogshit unfinished game.

 

[Gravemind]

The grey market is weird like that. If they have a surplus of keys and the games a couple years old, you can get like 12 for the price of 1 full priced copy. When they only have 1, you get weird prices like this. It is literally the only key I found. Usually when theres a limited amount of keys, its a dollar or two more, not a 50% mark up. For American prices, you're usually better off just buying it on Steam in this scenario, but it may still be a "deal" elsewhere. Steam has all kinds of odd regional limitations, so it probably makes sense somewhere in the world.

The fact a single key is all that exists is pretty telling of how little anyone cares about HB. I can usually find keys for all kinds of obscure and garbage games with minimal issue, not this one.

Now all of the sudden, it's $16. Almost makes me wonder if they run crawlers or something to automatically adjust prices based on shit like how often a game is searched on grey market sites.

https://www.g2a.com/heartbound-steam-gift-global-i10000179312002

Jason would use the lack of keys for his game to claim his, "Brilliant anti key theft plans are surely working."

As I recall, he has actually used that excuse on more than one occasion and I do believe the video clips of such have been previously posted ITT, but fuck me if I'm going to dig through and bother watching everything in here to find the specifically clipped moments where he's said this. Some other autist can go through that trouble now that I've mentioned this.

 

[Black Willow Lurker]

Some other autist can go through that trouble now that I've mentioned this.

Here Mald explains how he wrote an e-mail to himself to impress his audience thwarted a massive scam to get 1 ShartBound key from him:

But really, just "scam the shit out of the scammers" (and the 2.5 people who'd maybe want to buy ShartBound, I guess).

Unfortunately, I've not been able to find any funny Mald autism clips, so here's some copeadvice instead:

 

[Roachbound]

As I recall, he has actually used that excuse on more than one occasion and I do believe the video clips of such have been previously posted ITT, but fuck me if I'm going to dig through and bother watching everything in here to find the specifically clipped moments where he's said this. Some other autist can go through that trouble now that I've mentioned this.

Believable since he used the excuse that people were watching dozens and dozens of hours of his stream just to obtain a heartbound key with 100k twitch channel points so they could brigade and review bomb the game LMFAO.

Dude is despicable. Sadly some people actually eat up his explanations.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

Here Mald explains how he wrote an e-mail to himself to impress his audience thwarted a massive scam to get 1 ShartBound key from him:

FIRST RED FLAG "What's a verified streamer?"
No you nigger, the first flag is someone is emailing you begging for a key to your garbage game.

"His youtube link is his youtube."
He really is just explaining a basic assed email scam.

"No you're not"

Nigger, no one is going to even read an email like this and verify Jimmy444444 is actually Jimmy44444
"They don't send me these emails anymore"
Even jeets cant bother with bots to do this to him anymore cause no one will buy it.

 

[Cedric_Eff]

So literally: "I'm doing monthly updates to my game that was supposed to be finished years ago."

"Oh, and you're the playtester for these updates, dear customer! I didn't debug shit, fuck you."

Lovely, Jason.

Remember, an excellent programmer according to the furry fandom.

In all seriousness though, HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT DEBUG YOUR GAME!? DEBUGGING YOUR GAME IS LIKE STEP 3 IN THE THREE STEP METHOD FOR MAKING VIDEO GAMES!! Man!

 

[Dr. Ricearoni]

Remember, an excellent programmer according to the furry fandom.

In all seriousness though, HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT DEBUG YOUR GAME!? DEBUGGING YOUR GAME IS LIKE STEP 3 IN THE THREE STEP METHOD FOR MAKING VIDEO GAMES!! Man!

He's got a special genetic disorder that makes it so he can make his video game in only two steps by skipping the third step, you'd know this if you watched the streams, clownshoe behavior.

 

[Maldavius Figtree]

G2A has 1 for $15.

wtf the game is 10 dollars lmfao

$5 is for emotional damages

really, just "scam the shit out of the scammers"

His reverse scam attempt is easily thwarted. The key vendor only needs one account that already owns the game, in which case he can try redeeming the keys in question to check if they're valid. It should fail with a message saying the account already owns the product.
How can this social engineering hacker master with 20 years of veteran game dev experience not know that?

In all seriousness though, HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT DEBUG YOUR GAME!? DEBUGGING YOUR GAME IS LIKE STEP 3 IN THE THREE STEP METHOD FOR MAKING VIDEO GAMES!! Man!

Guy worked not as a video game dev at Blizzard, but as a video game TESTER! AND DOESNT TEST HIS OWN FUCKING GAME!

 

[Roachbound]

Guy worked not as a video game dev at Blizzard, but as a video game TESTER! AND DOESNT TEST HIS OWN FUCKING GAME!

I can understand why, when Mald worked at blizzard, he was micromanaged by a competent manager testing games developed by competent programmers, and he couldn't really fuck up or jeopardise development because his incompetency was kept in check. Now his entire game is running on spaghetti code, he doesn't even know where to begin updating it, let alone testing it. Mald is the epitome of a waiter who started his own restaurant as a head chef after watching the other chefs cook, but never realised that the other chefs kept him out of the kitchen because he was incompetent, and now doesn't want to make his half raw slop, let alone serve it.

Well, that, and he is extremely lazy.

 

[Nothing Is Written]

How the actual fuck, from a game design perspective, do you ever, FUCKING EVER, consider the spacebar for QUICK SAVING?!

There's unchecked ego, and then there's "so unfathomably retarded, you are a danger to yourself and others". Jason has officially become the later.

The only reason I can think of, as I've done this as a game dev before, is to use it as a save state button when playing on a debug branch of main on a controller. But the function itself never broke the game, it just saved the state like in emulators.

It's actually impressive he managed to somehow tie in a save state function into manipulating the game's default logic and I can only assume it has something to do with his goddamned global array to track dialogue routes, which are by necessity tied to other logic within the game like scenes and actors.

I'll go as far to posit he accidentally implemented this as a deliberate design choice for complexity (a la "you can hack my game, I've deliberately designed it for you to do so") without realising how the game logic actually interacts in sequence.