Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Sneed Force One]

Any update from our Erverlord about his supposed bodycam acquisition timeline?

 

[AnOminous]

Isn’t this like Rule #1 taught in any competent law school?

Not really, but ALL cops know this.

 

[Ollie Beach]

Any update from our Erverlord about his supposed bodycam acquisition timeline?

Not yet

 

[make_it_so]

He is currently not in the running.

What, did LossManJack fans complain that their one-note cow wasn't getting the votes he deserved and kept losing it all, so they banned the main competition?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

It's so tiring, Nick is rapid firing lies again.
He confirmed a long time ago how Aaron was the one feeding his kids spaghettios.
Now his kids were always fed, never wore the same clothes.

If the bodycam footage didn’t stand a chance of emerging he’d also be claiming the house was always tidy and hygienic.

 

[Potentially Criminal]

I agree with you: Yankees and Westerners don't really get it, but they're not posers by default.

For many rural Americans they very much identify with redneck culture because many of them are rednecks. Get an hour outside of Cleveland, Indianapolis, Chicago, etc. and you are in God's Country. You find similar scenery and the same overall feel of good, honest, and, god-fearing people who want to make a good living for their family. That said, I do recognize that it's still not the South and many of them will acknowledge that as well.

ALL THAT SAID, and even despite his Texas roots, Nick fits none of the groups and has none of the qualifications: He hasn't held a hammer in his life, and if he did, he bent the nail. He doesn't take care of his home (can't even attach a cabinet door) or his property; he doesn't have - or need - a truck to haul stuff; he neither hunts nor fishes, probably doesn't even know what a jon boat is; he has no twang nor rurality to his voice; he's probably never sat on a stump nor split wood; he doesn't love America; and he has no soul, no sentimentality not directed at himself, and no concept of real heartbreak.

A man with no skills or meaningful identity.

As a kid, I never understood the concept of doing manual labor as a means of building character since it was something that you did where I grew up so it was just business as usual, but with Nick you can see what my parents and other adults were worried about with their kids. He would have benefitted greatly from having spent a summer working on a crew doing flatwork as a 16-20 year old.

Watching him scrape paint off a park bench and repaint it for community service it is going to be indistinguishable from the monkeys in 2001 learning how to use a bone.

Minnesota is notoriously difficult for non-Minnesotans to be fully integrated into socially. Without going too anthropologically deep or in detail, I have heard, for decades and from dozens and dozens of people from all walks of life, accounts of never, ever being fully comfortable and "at home" with Minnesota as your social life if you come from elsewhere. Many move-ins find their larger circles with other people from elsewhere, or at least "half & half" couples. It's not necessarily hostility; sometimes it's just that people have their circles still from high school (even if they moved elsewhere and boomeranged back with their spouse in tow, which is very, very common).

But also it's that there's an unspoken and often impossible-to-nail-down cultural/social undercurrent that others can feel, sometimes learn to spot, but never truly intuitively operate in completely. And it's that thing that will get you cross-wise with Deb and Barb and uninvited to go deer hunting (or to the dinner parties, whatever your echelon) from now until forever.

For those of you who really want to understand this, listening to older episodes of Prairie Home Companion where Garrison Keillor tells tales from the fictional Lake Woebegone, Minnesota (and a bunch of his writings shed some light on this very thing about how MN is culturally).

Thankfully where I was raised, very rural Ohio, the mindset of rural Minnesota wasn't controlling in regards to societal integration. The community was very welcoming to my parents (who never previously set foot in Ohio) and accepted them and their children into the societal fabric pretty seamlessly. It also helped that my parents were decent, hard working people, who actively participated in the community to help make it a better place, and did their best to raise non-shithead kids.

 

[AnOminous]

I'm not a lawfag so I don't know how it works, but I assume that for him to be reinstated he needs to take some type of test, like a continuing education thing that is common in other fields.

At least in theory, he'd just have to do the required CLE. This is not difficult stuff. If you're lazy, even as lazy as Nick is, it's still easy. He could have done it for free by shopping around a bit, as there are nearly always enough free CLE opportunities in a year to keep up with.

Or if you actually care, you could pay for courses in some specialty you actually practice in, but Nick has never been a real practicing lawyer. He dabbled at law at best, making his current position as a dangling appendage of fat child molester Patrick Melton of the Dabbleverse sensible.

It's about his speed.

I half-suspect, considering how EMBARRASSING it is to have his license suspended, that the reason he doesn't reinstate it is they may be letting his various vile crimes slide so long as he doesn't try to get his license back. If this menace were to get a license back, they'd probably find some reason to suspend him for real this time, or even disbar him, as infrequent an event as that is.

He is truly a disgrace to the profession.

It does seem like most of the stories he told on KC were true. He lies by downplaying his role, but even then Nick says he was too much of a pussy to do larger amounts of cocaine.

Imagine being such a loser cokehead that you think it's an own to point out someone didn't do as much cocaine as you did. What an absolute fuck up retard.

Assuming he could practice law again, who would hire him? I can’t see any law firm affiliating with him, and any due diligence from clients would reveal all this nonsense.

I'd pay him to represent an enemy I wanted to see get the death penalty.

"You're no artist!"
"No talent!"
"You're nothing!"
"Respect the Silence it is the foundation of Art"

Don't dis that weird little angry dwarf. I love that guy. He was acting out of sincere passion.

Anyone who has had to deal with shitty street musicians like Tommy Tooter can appreciate his anger.

Tl; dr: Minnesotans will cut an outsider bitch, and even what are usually minor infractions can take years to heal, so for anyone else I might have some compassion just for the stealth brutality of it, but for Nick (and weak Kayla), The Lottery worked for once.

Nick for some reason picked the absolute worst possible place for someone like him, with his attitude and his arrogance and his absolutely unwarranted self-importance. I have no idea why. Maybe he's unable to pick up on social cues.

This is on continuous repeat in our house.

Yoakam was phenomenal in Sling Blade playing a character actually much like a redneck version of Rekieta.

Also to be fair Bakersfield is one of the few cities outside of Orange County where you can legitimately be a redneck by birth in California.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

He's said that his church hates him because he's a hecking free love chad that brings both his girlfriend and wife to church and does coke in the bathroom during service, but that's a completely legitimate reasons for a church to show concern. Did he think they'd go "hell yeah, brother! Let us know if you need to use the Reverend's office to fuck your mistress, we'll cover for you!"?

If only he belonged to a faith that taught about confession, repentance, forgiveness, and growing as a man after a fall.
Unrelated.

"He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper,
But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion."

Proverbs 28:13

Also, had this song pop up on my phone today and thought of Nicky.

"My daddy was a lawyer who sold salvation to the church
Your money's no good in heaven, but it's great down here on earth
So let's get down in the dirt
Let's get down in the dirt"

Down in the Dirt, The Revivalists

 

[Mundane Ralph]

Mystery of the brown substance revealed

Gross. You've almost gotta try to do such a bad job of extracting DMT that it turns out brown. I wasn't even aware it could get that bad. Even retards can manage to get dark orange at worst.

 

[Lonely khan]

Nick is on Hunley's show right now.

What, did LossManJack fans complain that their one-note cow wasn't getting the votes he deserved and kept losing it all, so they banned the main competition?

Let's be fair, they are both one note cows.

Nick lies and gets embarrassed and lies some more.

BMJ gets money, squanders it and spergs out.

They both seem to be an ever present danger to the people they live with.

I'd prefer Nick would win because I pay more attention to his thread and I think it would inflict an actual psychic injury on him. BMJ wins at a loss so often that I doubt it would even register with him. They both are part Chris though, BMJ has Chris's earnest retardation and Nick has his sleazy self importance and inability to admit fault. Either way it's a good time to farm.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

There is going to be a mutiny if he isn't a choice.

What, did LossManJack fans complain that their one-note cow wasn't getting the votes he deserved and kept losing it all, so they banned the main competition?

I'm trying to nor sperg about it to not create more drama for the jannies, but pretty much. I think that the bodycam release will force him to be in the running if it drops, so I am not worried.

Kind of amazing that what, 50k people, went through the effort of actually unsubscribing.

I think it was more like 30-40k.

He keeps mentioning this big conspiracy, but he's yet to actually say why all these random, unrelated people would want to come together and conspire to ruin Nick's life if he's innocent.

Scandinavian prudes!

Mystery of the brown substance revealed
Archive
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I just picked the interesting ones. There's a lot more. He actually started his morning with a cum tweet.

The one thing he hasn't replied to is people asking about his kids being "rarely"exposed.

MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!

 

[RotPockets]

I half-suspect, considering how EMBARRASSING it is to have his license suspended, that the reason he doesn't reinstate it is they may be letting his various vile crimes slide so long as he doesn't try to get his license back. If this menace were to get a license back, they'd probably find some reason to suspend him for real this time, or even disbar him, as infrequent an event as that is.

He probably considers it serendipitous for his conviction to occur while his license to practice law was suspended. Since he “technically” didn’t actively disgrace the entire profession and governing body of Minnesota.

 

[Third World Aristocrat]

Let's be fair, they are both one note cows.

Nick lies and gets embarrassed and lies some more.

BMJ gets money, squanders it and spergs out.

Since the Mandy arc, Rekieta has delivered such a wide variety of luls across multiple tiers of absurdity that I’m almost offended you’d reduce him to a one-note cow.

 

[Stiffy]

Mystery of the brown substance revealed
Archive
View attachment 7401173


I just picked the interesting ones. There's a lot more. He actually started his morning with a cum tweet.

The one thing he hasn't replied to is people asking about his kids being "rarely"exposed.

Crap! No pun intended
I really thought it was Jenkem...

 

[Sneed Force One]

Happy Arrestiversary Nick!
Raise a glass! Its not everyday your child tests positive for cocaine at a level of over 5000ng/ml, at a detection level of 500ng/ml!

 

[Gator_Aids]

I’m sorry. This smug, disingenuous faggot had 15 tabs of acid (very Dax Herrera vibes here) laying out in the open with 5 kids in the house and he wants to trot out fake CPS cases on others.

“It wuz 15 hits of acid and DMT if you wanna know the truth about it!”

He’s Ralph, he’s just fucking Ralph.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

He would have benefitted greatly from having spent a summer working on a crew doing flatwork as a 16-20 year old.

It’s not too late for him to be sent to one of those scared straight programs where shithead teenagers get dumped in the desert with nothing but a canteen and trail mix and are expected to find their way back to civilization somehow.

I suspect the teenagers on such a program would find Nick unbearably immature and give him the desert equivalent of a swirlie within an hour of meeting him.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

It’s a shame Nick didn’t do the DMT immediately. It’s the closest you can get to getting a course-correcting, white light spiritual experience on demand — if that’s what you’re seeking. Nick probably would have just wanted to talk to the elves about the Balldo and Aaron’s goo.

In some alternative timeline:

Nick takes DMT, suddenly finds him in a field of corn. Out of no where he hears it. Josh… what’s he saying? He’s saying “PULL UP”. He runs to find Josh in the corn. Reaches out to try his cellphone and look for a shower. “PULL UP”. Suddenly a clap of thunder hits and he’s back in his studio and he’s watching… what is that MATI? Some bodycam episode and wait… that’s Nick’s House and Null… He’s laughing, he’s victorious, he’s taking in every second of the messy crackhouse walk through. HIS crackhouse. Suddenly out of the sides of his eyes people emerge and they’re… wait he recognizes them. He knows them from their Kiwifarms avatars and they’re… oh God they’re getting close! In unison they’re chanting “CORN CORN CORN THE CORN MUST FLOW” their scythes swooping in closer and closer and all Nick can do is cry and plead demand not to be sacrificed to the corn. He starts begging the ceiling cats to spare his life and he can change!

…and then he wakes up and turns his life around. Never was going to happen but wouldn’t it be FUNNY and WEIRD if it did?

 

[AnOminous]

As a kid, I never understood the concept of doing manual labor as a means of building character since it was something that you did where I grew up so it was just business as usual, but with Nick you can see what my parents and other adults were worried about with their kids.

I don't know about manual labor as such, but I do know that the one year stint I had actually doing farming is one of the few things I've done I'm actually proud of. Plus I got ripped and tanned, at least by my standards. Modernity has stripped us of so much human dignity, like looking at something and knowing I made that, I grew that. This would not exist if not for me.

So much of what humans do now creates nothing you can visibly see or care about or have any pride in.

Okay kind of irrelevant but perhaps this kind of emptiness is what leads to Rekietas.

It’s not too late for him to be sent to one of those scared straight programs where shithead teenagers get dumped in the desert with nothing but a canteen and trail mix and are expected to find their way back to civilization somehow.

No, it's too late. It's too late for any cure to his behavior not involving cyanide or lead.

Nick takes DMT, suddenly finds him in a field of corn.

The machine elves would rip his soul out, chew it up, and spit it out in interdimensional insanity technicolor vomit.

 

[Pentamidine]

"The report came from a person who did not see any of the kids 2 days in a row"

I know everyone here already knows this but it's just another textbook Rekieta lie. He means to imply that the report about his kids wearing the same clothes days in a row couldn't have possibly been true because the report came from someone who didn't even see them 2 days in a row. He's using a truth to tell a lie, as usual. People who DID see the kids everyday - teachers - reported to the pastor what they were seeing, and the pastor reported it to the police.

I know Nick Never Lies but I can't help but point these out.

Slight powerlevel:
I know people IRL who fell victim to a manipulator like this and it cost them lots of money. It was the same kind of lying too - technicalities mixed in with vagaries and implications. In their cases it wasn't just some retard on the internet either, it was someone they should have been able to trust. I told them for years that they were being manipulated and they can't trust any inferences, they should only rely on things explicitly stated in plain terms by this person, but they didn't believe me.