Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Bowl of Ramen]

In some alternative timeline:

Nick takes DMT, suddenly finds him in a field of corn. Out of no where he hears it. Josh… what’s he saying? He’s saying “PULL UP”. He runs to find Josh in the corn. Reaches out to try his cellphone and look for a shower. “PULL UP”. Suddenly a clap of thunder hits and he’s back in his studio and he’s watching… what is that MATI? Some bodycam episode and wait… that’s Nick’s House and Null… He’s laughing, he’s victorious, he’s taking in every second of the messy crackhouse walk through. HIS crackhouse. Suddenly out of the sides of his eyes people emerge and they’re… wait he recognizes them. He knows them from their Kiwifarms avatars and they’re… oh God they’re getting close! In unison they’re chanting “CORN CORN CORN THE CORN MUST FLOW” their scythes swooping in closer and closer and all Nick can do is cry and plead demand not to be sacrificed to the corn. He starts begging the ceiling cats to spare his life and he can change!

…and then he wakes up and turns his life around. Never was going to happen but wouldn’t it be FUNNY and WEIRD if it did?

Wouldn't that have been some ironic twist? The very drug that could fix him, he didn't take in time. What tangled webs we weave.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

He streamed himself doing CLE once or twice (I believe, he did this. He did it with taxes at least that many times). He could have done that again and talked about the seminar topic. I see no issue with it because the YT watchers cannot take credit for the class.

He should have been paying attention, not streaming while half-listening.

It’s not too late for him to be sent to one of those scared straight programs where shithead teenagers get dumped in the desert with nothing but a canteen and trail mix and are expected to find their way back to civilization somehow.

I suspect the teenagers on such a program would find Nick unbearably immature and give him the desert equivalent of a swirlie within an hour of meeting him.

This brings me back to his stupid court-ordered outpatient treatment that he dashed off in a week or so. I know someone who has recently (voluntarily) enrolled in intensive outpatient therapy/rehab. The program is typically 6-8 weeks of 3 hours/day 3 days/week - for PHASE ONE. Plus weekly (and as-needed) individual meetings with a social worker, plus at least a couple of meetings with an "addiction doctor" who prescribed 2 things, one of which is actually available otc, to (possibly) help with withdrawal/ cravings. Said person is also making arrangements to relocate to a different living situation within their critical human support system, which will provide fewer immediately accessible opportunities to acquire/ use, as well as the built-in company of people unassociated with the habits and who can require accountability.

Sure, ofc Nick doesn't have any shadow of a "problem"; he just torpedoed his and his children's lives because the sugar was just so fun. And now look at how happy, non-obsessive, and well adjusted he is! He really is unique among men and really does know better than everyone else.

His unseriousness is disgusting. What a trivial little man.

 

[Nate Higgers]

It’s a shame Nick didn’t do the DMT immediately. It’s the closest you can get to getting a course-correcting, white light spiritual experience on demand — if that’s what you’re seeking. Nick probably would have just wanted to talk to the elves about the Balldo and Aaron’s goo.

In some alternative timeline:

Nick takes DMT, suddenly finds him in a field of corn. Out of no where he hears it. Josh… what’s he saying? He’s saying “PULL UP”. He runs to find Josh in the corn. Reaches out to try his cellphone and look for a shower. “PULL UP”. Suddenly a clap of thunder hits and he’s back in his studio and he’s watching… what is that MATI? Some bodycam episode and wait… that’s Nick’s House and Null… He’s laughing, he’s victorious, he’s taking in every second of the messy crackhouse walk through. HIS crackhouse. Suddenly out of the sides of his eyes people emerge and they’re… wait he recognizes them. He knows them from their Kiwifarms avatars and they’re… oh God they’re getting close! In unison they’re chanting “CORN CORN CORN THE CORN MUST FLOW” their scythes swooping in closer and closer and all Nick can do is cry and plead demand not to be sacrificed to the corn. He starts begging the ceiling cats to spare his life and he can change!

…and then he wakes up and turns his life around. Never was going to happen but wouldn’t it be FUNNY and WEIRD if it did?

Wouldn't that have been some ironic twist? The very drug that could fix him, he didn't take in time. What tangled webs we weave.

This is somewhat OT (not really) but this reminds me of the story I heard somewhere about Dick Masterson taking acid/LSD in the days after PPPdiddy embarrassed Juju on Rekieta’s livestream.

Allegedly, Dick took some acid and he had a “bad trip” where he was hallucinating and seeing PPP yelling at him. (Edit: I think I remember someone saying Dax also saw PPP’s starfish but that could either be comedic embellishment or Dax simply being a gay homosexual)

I still think Nick should take “vitamin S”; going on a “bad trip” with hallucinogens is too good for Nick Rugieta.

 

[Kazukifaen]

Happy Arrestiversary Balldo
enjoy your probation.

 

[Oxyjen]

Since the Mandy arc, Rekieta has delivered such a wide variety of luls across multiple tiers of absurdity that I’m almost offended you’d reduce him to a one-note cow.

I’ll have you know my cow gives 3 different flavours of milkshake every day and pisses hallucinogens.

He’d better be on the goddam ballot. What is this, Soviet Russia?

It’s a shame Nick didn’t do the DMT immediately. It’s the closest you can get to getting a course-correcting, white light spiritual experience on demand — if that’s what you’re seeking. Nick probably would have just wanted to talk to the elves about the Balldo and Aaron’s goo.

I heard that DMT usage results in you seeing “The Hat Man”. (The hat man in this context is Jim Metokur).

 

[Vibralldo]

He’s Ralph, he’s just fucking Ralph

He's EVERY cow

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

Null is going over Rekieta bodycam update now on MATI.

2 weeks, or else Null sues the county.

 

[PrestonHolt]

Ngl, it would be funny to see Josh having bigger balls to sue county while Nick just let them walk over him for months. But i do hope we get the footage sooner and without the suing.

 

[Lian Xing]

Null is going over Rekieta bodycam update now on MATI.

Our Dear Feeder is 1000% MATI right now about how the three adults couldn't keep it together.

 

[RotPockets]

Happy Arrestiversary Balldo
enjoy your probation.

Suffer Balldo.

 

[Hungrier Troon]

Mystery of the brown substance revealed
Archive
View attachment 7401173

Ha i knew it. The retard is actually trying to fry his brain with psychedelics.

Could be DMT since the Rekietas seem to have a fondness for Hallucinogens and it goes great with Shrooms, Acid, Molly, Ayahuasca etc.

 

[AnOminous]

"The report came from a person who did not see any of the kids 2 days in a row"

And yet, somehow, despite all Nick's lies and all the money he had that would easily have kept his kids fed and well-dressed, LOTS of people vastly more reputable and reliable than a notorious lying sack of shit like Nick reported, to the police, under penalty of making false police reports, reported that the kids were stinking, starving, begging for food, dressed in the same foul, unwashed clothes for days on end.

Who do you believe? The nitrous huffing retard who has openly admitted being a profligate coke snorting drug addict faggot?

Or members of the clergy, parishioners of the church, people of good reputation?

I'm believing the clergy dude, the parishioners, the people of decency who are not open about the fact they are blatant drug addicts.

 

[Pelican Bones]

lies and gets embarrassed and lies some more

That's every lolcow. The defining characteristics.

Saying he's one note then just giving the definition of a cow is unconvincing.

 

[Lonely khan]

Don't dis that weird little angry dwarf. I love that guy. He was acting out of sincere passion

Dis him? I was praying for the Moleman to burrow into Nick's basement and read him the riot act during karoke.

Just in case you haven't hear his less famous b side here is him attacking a group of buskers
Edit - Dropped the wrong link

https://youtu.be/WbiKl9AVwfE?si=5vL1KtZWal3BbZu9

B Side

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I'd also point out the median income in Nick's county is $75,000 or so. That means he allegedly spent over $200 dollars per day on food.

 

[Third World Aristocrat]

2 weeks, or else Null sues the county.

Here is the clip containing the full segment of commentary on the bodycam footage:

"Let me start this off strong. Things are progressing. In fact, chat, if I may be so bold—two more weeks, Kiwi sisters. I am expecting an update at the beginning of June. And if that update is not the body cam footage, I commit to this: I am suing Kandiyohi County. Every single thing we have received—I don't want to be too... I don't want to say too much, because I know that Rekieta is paying close attention and is deeply concerned.

Developments have happened which paved the way for the body cam footage to be released. If the body cam footage is not released, then I will sue. So that's it. There is no reason for it not to be released at this point. We've squared away everything, and the only thing holding us back is the sheriff's office actually fucking doing it.

If the sheriff's office does not fucking do it and does not make good on what is basically promised to us at this point, we have no choice but to sue—and we have the eager legal representatives required to handle such a lawsuit. So it's coming, regardless. It's happening for sure.

[...]

That's what's going on for Rekieta. He's trying to figure it out. I want to hold his hand, but the damage is already done. I'll put it that way. Obviously, I would like the actual footage footage, and I will do everything in my power to get the footage footage. But the foot's in the door. I already have something. And if all else fails, there's no walking it back. It's done."

- Dear Sneeder, 2025​

 

[Desdichada Curiosidad]

Jersh told on stream that there will be NO bodycam footage until we eat our vegetables!

 

[parsnip]

Jersh told on stream that there will be NO bodycam footage until we eat our vegetables!

Aw he does love us!

 

[unwelcome slang]

I can't wait to be vindicated and horribly depressed seeing the squalor those poor kids were (and unfortunately probably still are) living in.

 

[AnOminous]

That "karaoke" from Nickhole reminded me of this.