Until college I had never really had a proper relationship, nothing more than school shit where you would literally forget you were meant to be dating someone. Had a long distance relationship in the first year of college that well went the same as every other ldr in history. A fair few people dropped one of the classes I took
for americans it's normal to start with 4 classes for one year and drop down to 3 for the second year when the classes get harder and more demanding so the college went from two classes of ~20 to one of ~30, one of those people that dropped it was the only person I was really friends with in that class, the group on our table was mostly fine but it was more just yea we get on and don't hate each other, though the two guys at the very end were absolute cunts that I still can't think about without getting pissed off. When the second year started I didn't want to go sit with these people. Instead I just take one of the seats on the table with all the people that obviously are not in a large social group, you can see it's either people alone or in a pair. I sit down next to a guy that I wouldn't call a twink or a femboy or any of those words, just a shy nerdy guy that's kinda cute. Over the remaining year we become good friends. Two of the people down the very end of this table were actually my first in person introduction to any gender bullshit. I genuinely couldn't tell what they were, looking back still no idea. Looked like a fat man pretending to be a woman but also so much so that they also looked like ftms. They were total cunts too, constantly loud and never really put in the work, constantly needed help and you could tell they were just in college because they didn't want to do a btec or apprenticeship. They didn't have the same drive as other people, they didn't want to learn or improve, they just wanted to not do an apprenticeship. They weren't college people, they were just people that the system shoved into a college.
Anyway, me and this guy leave college, end up still being best mates. He talked about being bi and I'll just call myself gay because fuck the special gender words even if it's more accurate. I wouldn't say there was any serious sexual tension or anything, just that this guy felt like more than a best friend. One day I went over to see him, just to sit around in his house and fuck around for a couple hours, same as always really. As I was leaving I don't fucking know what I was doing, I was tired and running on autopilot. I just went through the motions, check your keys, check phone, tie laces, hug [name]. And so I'm stood there, arms open and leaning forward about to hug this guy and only then realised wait what the fuck am I doing. Before I can say oops sorry I'm really tired or anything he leans in and wraps his arms around me too. Obviously then we end up dating. I'm already in a pretty fucked up state just in general though. The year or so that we dated was hardly free from problems, admittedly a large portion of them coming from me and honestly the fact I probably shouldn't have been dating anyone at that time in life as well as the fact that it's both of our first proper relationships. But the first six months go great.
I don't really know where is best to put this, but during this period we both posted the typical photos on facebook and shit, one of his friends that I had never met or heard of before would always comment on them, he was the typical strawhaired pretranny scrawny rat faggot, bit like the goonclown phenotype. Eventually he ended up trying to be my friend too, I don't remember much, other than him asking if I had fucked his friend which is just fucking strange; you're worse than an actual cuck. I mean idk what he was expecting two 18-19 year olds that live with their parents and one of which is lactose intolerant to say honestly. Yea no we went dogging down the local park? He also mentioned that we should come 'plugged girlie shopping' together. Which let me just remind you, never fucking met this guy before and he's trying to get in as a third wheel and talking about sexual shit with someone who is just meant to be one of his friends. That was also my second proper interaction with trannies.
The second half of that year starts going to shit though. He starts being distant and not caring, at the time it was easy to rationalise as well yea maybe I'm a bit much at the moment. I forget the shit he'd say but it was the typical emotionless distant type cunt that you probably wouldn't want to date especially if you're already not feeling great. At some point he also just says oh yea I'm now nonbinary and bgaaghehsexual that I just ignored because by that point I had no respect for any of those types of people at all. Then the last few months he becomes a full on emotionally abusive cunt, take all the things that people say to on here in retards to suicide baiters, instead said it's someone who just got out of hospital. The constant just lack of caring, stopped giving a shit entirely, never wanted to go do anything together yet still wanted to be together, honestly my memory's pretty shitty in general especially around that time lol. I don't know how to explain it.
I planned to meet up with another friend because it had been about a year after the end of college, I hadn't seen him in a year and he'd only just come back home for the first time since going off to uni, it was something that we'd agreed on for the longest time. We meet up and he starts asking about 'oh yea are you still dating that guy you talked about a few months ago?'. And I start thinking of how to say that well, I haven't seen him for a few months, I can't remember the last time I daydreamed about him, he's constantly a cunt to me online, I can't even remember the last time we played something online together. And as I was thinking about that it was like yea am I still dating that guy? I obviously took a big pause and said something like 'ahh that's a sore spot' and that was the last we said of it. I got home and called this guy to tell him to fuck off, he did the typical "oh but I was there when you needed me; you wouldn't be alive without me" schtick, which yea, he was there for me when I got out of hospital, namely to tell me how much I was wasting of his time and that he wish I didn't get out. I will refrain from fedposting, I'm sure you can guess the emotions and such. He went full internet tough guy with the whole oh if I ever see you I'll xyz and all that. Which I mean, we fucking dated, I know your body about as well as you do. I was about a foot taller than him and my calf's thicker than his chest; you're a cute little gay boy; I could hug him and he'd just be stuck and unable to move. Out of everyone on this planet I have hugged and cuddled you more than almost anyone else has, I know exactly how small you are, so, you know, pretty hard to be scared of him. For a while I wished he wasn't an internet tough guy and actually followed through, mostly so it would be justified and legal. I mean I might not have been in the best headspace to recognise a toxic and emotionally abusive relationship, I was however in a headspace that I wouldn't have minded doing 10-20 years if he tried anything. You don't grow up on a council estate constantly being told 'chat shit get hit' and 'I won't throw the first punch but I'll sure as fuck throw the last' for the entirety of your 20 years alive at that point and not have that mindset of physically standing up for yourself ingrained into your brain deep enough so that no fucked emotional state could take it away. I won't pretend that I was perfect though, I did obviously put a lot of emotional weight on him and all that sort of shit. I would fully expect any normal person to have either never started dating or quickly broken up, wouldn't blame them honestly, still not an excuse for him though.
I end up forgetting, well, idk the word, I stopped giving a shit? Nah not really, stopped something. Left him to rot alone. Went and got over it with people that actually gave a shit about me. The uni friend was autistic, he was somehow more emotionally available and supportive than someone I was meant to be in love with. I just completely cut him out my life and memory entirely. Then a few months later I meet up with another old friend over the christmas break, he didn't go to the same college as me though so didn't really know this guy and we'd drifted apart because of the whole uni thing but we start talking online now he's free-er. He asks who the guy was that I dated, he doesn't remember so I go to send him a photo, I've already deleted all them from my facebook and phone, so I go to go to his facebook, I type his name in, nothing comes up. Scroll down through some of our mutual friend's friend lists, not where he should be in the alphabetical order. I assume maybe he deleted his profile or something, maybe that's just what happens when someone blocks you? I don't know. I go back to my messenger and to the archive part because I kept the chat as I was considering getting a restraining order until I realised that well a whetstone is cheaper than a lawyer. And I still can't see it. It's just a load of deleted users and random indian spambots. Until I scroll back to the top to have a second look. And see [woman's name] [ex's last name], I assume maybe it was his mother who had messaged me and I just deleted it and forgot, I still can't remember his mum's name anyway. But I open it, it's the full chat with my ex. I open the fucking profile through that message tab and just start laughing. At this point I told my friend to come meet me at the pub and I'll tell him over a pint instead, we decided that day that when he does eventually kill himself that we'll both book a day or few off work and get shitfaced and go dance on the grave. He has not only trooned out but done so in a way
considering I was still a bit fucked up so that I genuinely believed for months it was just him trying to fuck with me considering I had made my opinions on transgenders very clear by the time we broke up. I won't say the name but it's about as stereotypical as an arab calling his kid muhammed. He also changed his pfp to be the exact same thing aside from he just swapped the trousers for the fucking amazon basics femboy white/black striped skirt. The absolute lowest effort transition you could think of, made no attempt to look even remotely more female. I checked back on him a few months ago, forget why exactly, only to see that he still looks the exact fucking same, even after 7 years, aside from he put a trans solidarity border around the image and then a fucking #freepalestine thing at the bottom.
Still to this day I refuse to believe that it's real but then again, an emotionally abusive cunt trooning out? That's never been heard before. It's probably cope and seethe but most of the time looking back I just think of it as if him being a nonbinary whatever was a month or so in the works and that was about where the relationship started going downhill, as if him coming out as nonbinary was the same as him killing himself. The person I love died when he became a nonbinary whatever. I know I didn't lose him to transgenderism, but I'd rather tell myself I did. I didn't lose a friend to transgenderism, I lost an enemy to it. I no longer have to worry about seeing that emotionally abusive cunt ever again because he's killed himself for me. The only thing that remains is something that looks admittedly a lot like him but enough so that I doubt I'd recognise him from far away like I would if he was normal. I think maybe it's fitting, he does indeed deserve to be a twisted abomination vaguely resembling a human with a dysfunctional penis and sex life and a serious hormonal balance that will hopefully fuck up his body and halve his natural life expectancy. I do indeed wish you to live a life of misery, rejected by both genders, everyone except fetishists and other mental cases, you deserve it and nothing less, death would be a kinder fate that you do not deserve. I say this as someone who lost 3/3 of my dead grandparents to it, but I sincerely hope you live that miserable old life, just so you can end up with dementia and live in that eternal hell of your brain rejecting the conditioning, scarification and the mutilation of your body and it's internal works, leaving your brain to return to it's base line and for it to spend years reminding you that you are indeed male and just a skin walker crudely imitating the women that God blessed us with, for your failing brain to never quite understand why your body is like this, leaving you in a waking hell worse than the average dementia patient. I mean, they always say that you never forget your first. I still think about him sometimes, sometimes I do miss what we had in the beginning. I mean he still is exactly my type in guys lol. But then again it's hard to miss his idea of 'love' when you're with someone who actually cares about you properly nowadays. Four years and a dog with a woman who genuinely loves you enough to take some of her limited time off just to go on holiday with you for your birthday, or someone who can't even be fucked to play csgo or whatever with you? A faggot who's music choice is that retarded sophie tranny coomer 'music' and 100gecs tier shit, or a woman willing to learn Stan Rogers just to sing karaoke with you? Hard choice that one. The worst part is it means literally all of college was meaningless. All the friends I made throughout the two years just left and the friendship died naturally, the only people that I'm friends with from college were people I were already friends with. Didn't even use the fucking qualifications either just went to trade school instead and they didn't give a shit at all.
Checked again for the sake of this post. Updated his pfp a month ago, unfortunately not 41ed yet, broad male shoulders front and centre, square enough to use for a construction reference, absolutely everything else looks the exact same, same amazon basics femboy/tranny clothing that never matches, hairs, the same cute gay guy hair that admittedly is kinda feminine, face is the exact same instantly clockable as male even without context, irrefutably male even from 50ft away. If I showed you a picture of this guy from before his transition and now after presumably 7 years of hrt it's the exact fucking same. Hell if I showed him that and how absolutely worthless his time and journey has been then he probably would 41%.
First two tranny interactions with him. First one was of a pair of cunts that acted like niglets and were just generally abrasive and unbearable. Second was his friend who was just generally a bit of a sex pest that tried to get us into crossdressing and some sort of threesome. Third is obvious. Then I met up with an old friend a while after the breakup, he brought one of his friends with him, trans too. He'd evidently heard the gossip and all that shit from my friend, first thing he ever said to me was something like "oh yea I'm here for you if you need", as if I would ever want emotional support from one of them ever, much less right after that breakup. I know it's not the same but literally diet tranny rape shelter worker. It's a bit like a modern day Hanlon's razor, never attribute to malice that which may be sufficiently explained by autism. Then the fifth was a gay guy I met online. He was a 'David he/him femboy 21 uk softboy trans' type person, as in just slapped trans on the end of his bio and that was it for the most of the time. After a while he started leaning into the transgenderism shit more and more, he ended up blocking me because he posted some image of him in a hooters outfit and with a caption like oh sorry we don't have a toilet you'll have to unload in my mouth uwu type shit and I replied obviously jokingly like uhhh according to act 2383 section 24.b all establishments serving food must offer patrons a toilet facility. Idk why but he got super offended by it and replied to me like 5 times over a few hours and ended up blocking me before I even said anything back. 5/5 (or I guess technically 6/6) of the transgenders I've ever interacted with personally have given me reasons to at the minimum distrust them, with the majority of them giving me reasons to outright hate the entire movement. Somehow that makes me biased and a transphobe, you don't even need the pattern recognition you need to hate the online trannies, just a functional brain and not be a gullible retard. Now I'm here and the reasons to hate transgenders is probably in the hundreds, still without a single good example (which admittedly probably won't find here anyway). I don't need this site's 'propaganda', from personal experiences to retards like refrainbow and her ilk, the only difference since coming here is I just don't need to use any of the ban evading slurs anymore, I can just talk like a normal person instead. Even if pooner is the most fucking retarded slur and so stupidly american it's too goofy to say let alone actually be offensive. Also while I'm fully off topic, I was spell checking this post and formatting and all that, I misspelt regards as redards. Tor, the based glowie cunt it is had the first autocorrect option as retards instead of regards. You know me so well assigned cia nigger
I think I'll marry him instead.
