DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Sedan Hussein]

So, I see he's playing Rimworld! Probably because his ass got scorched good from the backlash. I've got 210 hours in it myself and he's gonna fucking hate it. For anyone who doesn't know, it's basically Dwarf Fortress in Space. Game requires a lot of knowledge and a lot of micromanaging. Bet he'll grab colonists with shitty traits (pyromaniac, cannibal, nudist, etc) and fail to properly feed them.

LARPers should gaslight him into using Randy Random for his storyteller.

Calling it now, there is no way he will figure out refrigeration of any sort of food management. Pigger will starve his colonists to death due to his stupidity

 

[Keith the Horse Fucker]

If Phil cut his Hogan pulling in half, his wife would never have to work again. But he would never make that sacrifice for anyone, because he is a selfish, greedy, gouty man-child

 

[fiddlecauliflower]

Sorry if this has been talked about, I did a cursory search and didn't find much on it. Does anyone have any theories on why Phil is so obsessed with cleaniness lately? Like with the DSP tries it stuff he's worried with spilling grease everywhere and immediately start cleaning things up if a few crumbs get anywhere. Is this learned from mo-wife? Phil has never been a very clean person from my memory. Someone this concerned wouldn't have a rats nest of wires or an office caked in dust.

 

[Stalker]

I've been tuning into Raw Phil occasionally for about a week and I already have Pigger Fatigue. Between the whining, the snorting, and even the sound of his voice becomes grating after awhile. What set me over the edge is the facial expressions he makes as he speaks. I can't put it into words easily but it's the constant inflections made at the end of all of his sentences. I can't watch it anymore, it drives me mad.

 

[neger psykolog]

Sorry if this has been talked about, I did a cursory search and didn't find much on it. Does anyone have any theories on why Phil is so obsessed with cleaniness lately? Like with the DSP tries it stuff he's worried with spilling grease everywhere and immediately start cleaning things up if a few crumbs get anywhere. Is this learned from mo-wife? Phil has never been a very clean person from my memory. Someone this concerned wouldn't have a rats nest of wires or an office caked in dust.

Maybe because PPP said his house was going to be condemned and people have been giving him shit about the broken shower

 

[Comma]

Just skipping through last night's Minecraft stream, and Jesus titty-fucking Christ, this one was extra special, even by DSP's (extremely low) standards.

• Non-stop complaining about not being able to play GTA4 "with mahds" (while blaming everything and everyone except himself)
• Non-stop complaining about not being able to eat a pickle burger (nothing he could do)
• Unironically complaining about Minecraft (fucking Minecraft!) "stressing me out", because... enemies attack him
• And as the cherry on the cake, legit tearing up over a dead virtual pet

Absolutely mind-blowing stuff.

I swear, if scientists dissect his brain after he passes, they'll discover a new mental illness and will call it "Burnell's Disorder" (BD). And that's me being optimistic by assuming he doesn't die due to his EXTREMELY FAT WIFE rolling over on him and crushing his skull.

 

[Lord_Point]

Oh he's definitely starting to hurt a bit. If niggers here really hated him as much as they claim to (as well as on Twitter) they'd stop showering his financial supporters with attention every fucking minute of the day.

Wow only 7k in a month? How embarrassing! This moron only makes 150% of the average salary by playing videogames in his jammies!

Man stop it with this fucking cope, phil doesnt feel shit, 10% of his salary goes to booze and then other 90% goes to scoply, the only thing thats different is he fluctuates between 4th and 7th place on WWE.

Sorry if this has been talked about, I did a cursory search and didn't find much on it. Does anyone have any theories on why Phil is so obsessed with cleaniness lately? Like with the DSP tries it stuff he's worried with spilling grease everywhere and immediately start cleaning things up if a few crumbs get anywhere. Is this learned from mo-wife? Phil has never been a very clean person from my memory. Someone this concerned wouldn't have a rats nest of wires or an office caked in dust.

Its because LTG and Phil got into some weird fake feud. LTG said he dresses better, looks better, is in better shape, and that phil needs to work on his sexy before he talks to him again. Phil, of course, laughed this all off and claimed the moral victory. Phil then went on to secretly updated his wardrobe, started showering every day, and bought some cologne. So he did end up working on his sexy like LTG ordered him too.

No one knows why LTG had such a profound effect on Phil compared to other detractors, particularly given how little he actualy interacted with phil.

(I know why, its because PHIL is GAY for BLACK MEN)

 

[Cucktry Roads]

Time is a circle

https://x.com/JWonggg/status/1940092197392850983

 

[SamuraiHitler]

Time is a circle

https://x.com/JWonggg/status/1940092197392850983

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We truly are in a simulation

 

[King of Hateful Slurs]

Time is a circle

https://x.com/JWonggg/status/1940092197392850983

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Hahahahah Phil is fuming over this you just know

 

[Dr Pavel I'm CIA]

Does anyone have any theories on why Phil is so obsessed with cleaniness lately?

My theory is just cause the new keyboard and mouse combos he has is white so the grease would stand out more.

That and he probably has internalised the LTG comments about his setup looking shitty

 

[SauceRyuKen]

I've been tuning into Raw Phil occasionally for about a week and I already have Pigger Fatigue. Between the whining, the snorting, and even the sound of his voice becomes grating after awhile. What set me over the edge is the facial expressions he makes as he speaks. I can't put it into words easily but it's the constant inflections made at the end of all of his sentences. I can't watch it anymore, it drives me mad.

He used to be watchable through restreams with freedom chat, and at the start that chat used to be popping, but in the end, Raw Phil made it so you just essentially watched Phil raw, but with an added shitload of unskippable ads. You'd catch the unrecorded begments, sure, but I hardly feel it's worth the effort. Raw Phil used to have adblockers on, to boot, so at that point I just felt it defeated the whole point of watching Phil without helping him out. Raw Phil gives Phil money, even if it's a couple cents from ads here and there.

LTG and Wings at least play the games they're known for, competitive PVP, that sort of thing. Phil? He's out on fighting games that aren't 20+years old dunking on Johnny Come Latelies, ducking any semblance of challenge, and his bread and butter are walksims and other snore inducing games.

Really, if he started today as a streamer, he'd be a 3 viewer schlub. He owes everything to his infamy and the accident. He has been purposefully making himself completely unwatchable ever since Yakuza LAD illuminated him on the fact that he can't even hang in turn based JRPGs any more. His TIHYDPs are similarly unwatchable as it's mostly the greasy begs that get clipped and he intentionally keeps gameplay as sparse as possible. Ocasionally there's a good blowout, one where his dents can't handhold him- Typically in fast paced games like Mario Kart, Rockstar stuff or fighting games, but even in CoD Phil just games the engagement based matchmaking until he gets bot matches or Derichs he can destroy. By weight, about half of a Phil CoD stream is non-gameplay, as he pads the living shit out of his slop-style videos. Begging, just chatting, waiting for matches, ragequitting up to 10 times in a row to weigh the matchmaking in his favor... Least he's dumb enough to figure out that he could just camp in a corner and further cut down on gameplay that way. He typically just sprints straight out of spawn and either gets a lucky backshot kill or dies to whoever was holding the area.

I ocasionally pop a clipper, but most of them are just shitting out hour long videos nowadays, and almost none of it is gameplay. I'd rather just catch up by reading here, faster and easier. The line between tractors and legitimate fans is getting a lot blurrier. It's a half and half thing, but once Phil finally acquiesced to the Champions thing, the mystery died for a lot of people who just vanished. Almost none of the OGs stayed on. There was no longer a need to break down and analyze Phil's behavior to know whether or not he was spending copious amounts of money on Champeens, because, well, we knew he was for a fact. And Phil as a lolcow was a lot more enjoyable when he could be analyzed. Nowadays we're just undercut. There's very little to laugh at.

Sure, he still sucks at gameplay, and he still flies off the handle at the slightest provocation, but that was the smallest part. We're just not getting a Need For Speed, Crash Team Racing Remake level of autistic, narc-injured fuelled chimp rage ever again. Can't really fail at walksims and every other question we had about him has long been answered.

Spoiler: Day off debate compilation

Sexuality: Closet Queen, but he's old and pudgy so his time to slobber on a BBC like he always wanted has long passed, so he's not gonna one day wake up and decide to be his true self or whatever. He was raised KHATHALIK, dood. Like Tony Soprano. Proof: Panda went hungry, Khet lives downstairs and they only meet for dinner and errands.

Political Allignment: Radical Pigroachism, or "Fuck you, got mine." Likes to front as an enlightened centrist. Proof: Well, don't got anything concrete, but it's obvious.

Intelligence level: Probably functionally retarded. Lack of creativity, problems with hypoteticals, many instances of failing to understand basic gameplay. Proof: Valedictorian at College B-Ball High, good at regurgitating facts, terrible at actually understanding shit. Unironically, he probably would have done well at the Army as he's very compliant and agreeable with buff, strong men. Can follow orders but don't expect him to be able to fit the square peg in the square hole. And he certainly would never be smart enough to fit the circle peg in the square hole, either.

DEPRE$HUN: Narcs generally don't get depressed. He's depressed in the sense that he wishes his slopthroughs had made him a Pewdiepie level internet sensation and he REALLY fails to see any differences. Proof: Depressed people act two ways, generally: Either they try to implement changes, or they collapse. Phil's bullshit Kino Ending Arc where he took "The third option" where "He just remained true to himself, doing what he had always done honorably and enjoyed the love of his existing fanbase for the remainder of his internet career" basically amounts to shitting himself and doing nothing.

Depressed people are desperate. Usually because of circumstance. My man is living the fucking dream. The dents keep him in Doordash, sauce and gacha and that's all he really wants. Sure he WISHES he had MORE Hogans, MORE booze and MORE fast food, but he's aware that he's not doing poorly at all. That depressed shit is just classic narc king-of-suffering you think you've had it rough you don't know SHIT horsefuckery, III HAD TO WALK 300 METERS TO MY WORK EVERY DAY RAIN OR SHINE UPHILL BOTH WAYS as usual.

Depressed people just don't want to stay stationary, and when they do, it's usually a terrible sign. They'll just stay in bed for 16 hours a day. My pigga has been nothing but stationary for the better part of the last 9 years, and he still happily rolls outta bed to booze up at the crack of 10 AM, rinse the Kingly Polish Plait and cheerfully beg for five bands every day of the month to a bunch of morons.

That's not what depression is, and Phil does not even KNOW what depression is. It's stolen neurospicy valor, at best.

At this point, I legitimately just don't get the appeal any more. He's a daily comfort lolcow, sure, but he used to always have a thing. First it was the dented behavior and horrible gameplay. Then it was unravelling the financial scam. After that, it was the greasy, shameless begs. Why do people even watch Phil nowadays? His numbers are down and so are the tractorsphere's. Outside of the cool high effort stuff like Ch'king of the ring, and some clippers who actually make Phil digestible, I think no one has the magic touch to make Phil's kwality khantent entertaining any more.

Not helping matters, at his best, he was just unintentionally entertaining. Nowadays he's the complete opposite. He's intentionally unentertaining. Surly Muppet said it best years back when he pointed out that Phil DIDN'T use to have a feature-length prestream every day. Called it prestream creep. Phil eventually just called it a Pahdcahst, and the rest is history. Even if you wanted to clip Phil for a montage you'd have to sit through SO MUCH GARBAGE, museum mode, slowly walking across the entire Minecraft world/GTA Map or what have you to the point that it's hardly even viable. Catroller seems to be gone, and while I appreciate KingDDuke's pure deathcount videos, they just don't have the same juice that original TIHYDP had. Not faulting the guy, or Outsider, or anyone who still makes clipshows, but the source material seems just almost fucking impossible to work with to me.

Nobody, except the most dented of dents, can put up with this horseshit for long. I believe Phil does it to cull his viewerbase. Only the dumbest can stay on, so it's basically down to only people he can win over with the us vs them narrative, or people so dumb they might actually believe Phil needs to hit his goals to meet basic-ass living standards.

 

[PetiteDragon43]

Broken ego and the many arguments he had on twitter with the actual devs of the game. He'll do a stellarblade and act like a POS then call the game bad.



This was predictable given how modding gta 4 requires some tech litteracy as (knowing him) he'll need to install a reshade for his graphical mod. (we all know he wasn't going to add anything about gameplay)

I'm still curious if he's still paying for nexusmods, and why he didn't think about a more moddable game like skyrim or fallout 4.
(would love to see him struggle with mo2 installation)

I hate the way he describes mods. "I want a mod for Dark Souls 2 that turns into a completely different game". Like... what does he think mods can do? Turn Dark Souls into Mario Bros.? Turn GTA into Fortnight?

 

[Pandalee’s Tits]

Time is a circle

https://x.com/JWonggg/status/1940092197392850983

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A true blue collar gamer would advertise White Claw for free, fuckin shill!

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I hate the way he describes mods. "I want a mod for Dark Souls 2 that turns into a completely different game". Like... what does he think mods can do? Turn Dark Souls into Mario Bros.? Turn GTA into Fortnight?

I think he means total conversion mods. Which yeah it depends on the game, something like Mount&Blade or Elder Scrolls is very moddable but I don't think I've ever seen Dark Souls 2 be moddable to that extent, at best he's gonna download an overhaul mod that makes the game easier like he did for Dark Souls 1 and pretend it's a "hard mode mod" the whole way through.

 

[King of Hateful Slurs]

Phil is feeling sassy today

 

[Comma]

BREAKING NEWS:

 

[Lord_Point]

I think he means total conversion mods. Which yeah it depends on the game, something like Mount&Blade or Elder Scrolls is very moddable but I don't think I've ever seen Dark Souls 2 be moddable to that extent, at best he's gonna download an overhaul mod that makes the game easier like he did for Dark Souls 1 and pretend it's a "hard mode mod" the whole way through.

Im guessing you already know based on your response, but for others there is an insane mod for DS1 (Daughters of ash) that basically remakes the game, adds bosses, and changes how the game progresses in interesting ways. Its really the go to mod you should play if you want to rerun DS1, it really makes it feel like your play DS1 for the first time again.

So of course phil opted for Age of Sunlight, a mod that generally makes the game easier without changing map layouts much, so he doesnt get lost and look like a moron.

If DS2 had a total conversion mod he would of course skip it and dowlaod some random mod that adds nude male wrestler class to the game.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

Someone remind me but did this faggot play Bloodlines 1? Cause there's a game that has some great mods to it from restoring unfinished content to adding a Sabbat route.

 

[Ivan Daniloff]

I can't put it into words easily but it's the constant inflections made at the end of all of his sentences

He upspeaks. It’s grating and horrible. His old manner of speaking—the 13-year-old boy acting tough enunciation with that ROUGH Connecticut accent—was far better. The upspeaking is unbearable. I’d love to know why he made that change. Was it Khet? Trying to emulate what he thinks a teacher sounds like for his audience of dents?