Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

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Which will happen first?

  • Jason Hall finishes developing his game

    Votes: 33 0.8%
  • YandereDev finishes developing his game

    Votes: 415 9.7%
  • Grummz finishes developing his game

    Votes: 117 2.7%
  • Chris Roberts finishes developing his game

    Votes: 144 3.4%
  • Cold fusion

    Votes: 1,641 38.3%
  • The inevitable heat death of the universe

    Votes: 1,936 45.2%

  • Total voters
    4,286
Let's say this is is astandard phone grid:



123
456
789
0

This is what mald's trying to simulate moving through.
It doesn't seem to be that straight forward, though, given multiple menu buttons all point towards a single button. For example: 0, 4, and 6 all move leftwards to 1, which seems to imply the menu looks more like pic related. It'd be interesting to see what menu this code is actually for.
1751792284729.webp
 
It doesn't seem to be that straight forward, though, given multiple menu buttons all point towards a single button. For example: 0, 4, and 6 all move leftwards to 1, which seems to imply the menu looks more like pic related. It'd be interesting to see what menu this code is actually for.
View attachment 7608169
Yeah, I realised that in hindsight, but I was too deep in by that point. Still makes the point well enough that there's much better ways of doing it.
 
View attachment 7608143
DOES HE EVEN KNOW HOW SWITCH STATEMENTS WORK?
Fuck you, I'm refactoring your shit code.

JavaScript:
//Magic numbers unite. Only refactoring one if statement, since it's just the same.
if(global.left_key_pressed){
    switch(selected_button){
        case 0:
        case 4:
        case 6:{
            selected_button = 1;
            break;
        };
        case 2:
        case 3:
        case 5:{
            selected_button = 4;
            break;
        };
        case 1:{
            selected_button = 8
            break;
        };
        case 7:{
            selected_button = 3
            break;
        };
        case 8:{
            selected_button = 6
            break;
        };
    }
};

//You can see that none of cases actually correspond with the value it's changed to.
//If the code starts with 0, it will be turned into a 1.
//This 1 will then turn into a 4.
//This 4 will then turn into a 3.
//This 3 will then turn into a 7.
//This 7 will then turn into 1. Loop!

//This is utterly benign and I don't know why in the fuck this would ever be used.
I think this could even be refactored more with look up tables and making it into just 1 if that checks for both button press and the selected button shit.

Just create an array of those magic numbers, look up the values there and it eliminates the need for a switch case inside the if.

something like (omitting the full bit cause fuck maldy the faggot)
Code:
var left_nav = [-1, 8, 4, 1, 7, 1, 3, 6];

if ((global.left_key_pressed && selected_button >= 0) && (selected_button < array_length(left_nav)) {
     selected_button = left_nav[selected_button];
}

Though i dont even know if game maker supports locally defined variables cause Maldy doesnt ever seem to use them, nor do i even think i should give a fuck because im now doing the job of a 7 year blizzard veteran with 20 years of game dev experience.

I truly hate what i have become
 
Though i dont even know if game maker supports locally defined variables
Name a single program that doesn't. He's just absolutely braindead. GameMaker can be used really well, some people made entire 3D-rendering engines out of it.

Also your code makes me shudder. (Not like it's your fault, your source to refactor is Mald's)
 
Name a single program that doesn't. He's just absolutely braindead. GameMaker can be used really well, some people made entire 3D-rendering engines out of it.

Also your code makes me shudder. (Not like it's your fault, your source to refactor is Mald's)
Yeah, trust me I hate the solution too but its much better (and much easier for a compiler to optimize) than whatever the fuck he had first. The problem with the refactor attempt is that because we know that the whole system he has designed is fucked harder than his ferrets on a saturday night when he's feeling frisky, is that it is a nigh impossible task to even attempt anything good given that even using a lookup table will probably somehow have side effects on his shit code and cause some weird critical bugs.

i hate Maldanigger Fagtree for ruining my sunday thinking about *his* code
 
View attachment 7608005
I found this code on reddit that is supposedly from heart bound. This is atrocious. Instead of using a map between the two sets of numbers he just uses endless switch statements. This is yandere dev level stuff. I'm inclined to believe it since whenever he talks about tech stuff it shows incompetence masked with confidence.
So YandereDev but swap out the If-Then-Else loops with Switch.
 
View attachment 7608143
DOES HE EVEN KNOW HOW SWITCH STATEMENTS WORK?
Fuck you, I'm refactoring your shit code.

JavaScript:
//Magic numbers unite. Only refactoring one if statement, since it's just the same.
if(global.left_key_pressed){
    switch(selected_button){
        case 0:
        case 4:
        case 6:{
            selected_button = 1;
            break;
        };
        case 2:
        case 3:
        case 5:{
            selected_button = 4;
            break;
        };
        case 1:{
            selected_button = 8
            break;
        };
        case 7:{
            selected_button = 3
            break;
        };
        case 8:{
            selected_button = 6
            break;
        };
    }
};

//You can see that none of cases actually correspond with the value it's changed to.
//If the code starts with 0, it will be turned into a 1.
//This 1 will then turn into a 4.
//This 4 will then turn into a 3.
//This 3 will then turn into a 7.
//This 7 will then turn into 1. Loop!

//This is utterly benign and I don't know why in the fuck this would ever be used.

It's fucking hardcoded holy hell I hate him. Here's my take using grids and too much effort:

JavaScript:
// This is a grid-based rewrite of Mald's original menu navigation system
// The original was built on switch statements, broken dreams, and zero architectural foresight
// We’re replacing it with something that doesn’t look like it was written by an outsourced chink with a proclivity for animal cum

var nav_grid = [
    [0, 1, 2],  // Top row. Where Mald began his descent.
    [3, 4, 5],  // Middle row. Peak spaghetti density.
    [6, 7, 8]   // Bottom row. The furry degeneracy of menu logic. Irredeemable.
];

// Step 1: Locate the selected button in this eldritch sudoku
// Because Mald never believed in state, just chaos and feelings
var row = 0;
var col = 0;

for (var i = 0; i < array_length(nav_grid); i++) {
    for (var j = 0; j < array_length(nav_grid[i]); j++) {
        if (nav_grid[i][j] == selected_button) {
            row = i;
            col = j;
        }
    }
}

// Step 2: Process directional input like a functioning adult
// Not with 80 lines of copy-pasted switch-case fuckery

if (global.left_key_pressed) {
    col = max(0, col - 1); // Escape to the left, assuming Mald lets you
}

if (global.right_key_pressed) {
    col = min(array_length(nav_grid[0]) - 1, col + 1); // March toward disappointment
}

if (global.up_key_pressed) {
    row = max(0, row - 1); // Rise above your past sins, temporarily
}

if (global.down_key_pressed) {
    row = min(array_length(nav_grid) - 1, row + 1); // Descend into the pit Mald left for you

// Step 3: Return to the void with your newly selected button
// It's not cleaner because you deserve it. It's cleaner because we're tired.
selected_button = nav_grid[row][col];

Right so now we're in OOP land we can behave sensibly:

JavaScript:
/// scr_navigate_menu(direction, selected_button)
// Call this instead of summoning 50 switch demons
// Designed for humans. Not for Mald. Not for his fursona.

function scr_navigate_menu(direction, selected_button) {
    var nav_grid = [
        [0, 1, 2],
        [3, 4, 5],
        [6, 7, 8]
    ];

    var row = 0;
    var col = 0;

    // Find the cursed cell that holds your cursed button
    for (var i = 0; i < array_length(nav_grid); i++) {
        for (var j = 0; j < array_length(nav_grid[i]); j++) {
            if (nav_grid[i][j] == selected_button) {
                row = i;
                col = j;
            }
        }
    }

    // Move based on direction
    // Unlike Mald's code, this has actual logic instead of a Choose-Your-Own-Failure book

    switch (direction) {
        case "left":
            col = max(0, col - 1); break;
        case "right":
            col = min(array_length(nav_grid[0]) - 1, col + 1); break;
        case "up":
            row = max(0, row - 1); break;
        case "down":
            row = min(array_length(nav_grid) - 1, row + 1); break;
        default:
            show_debug_message("Unknown direction: " + string(direction) + ". Welcome to the error message, bud.");
    }

    return nav_grid[row][col];
}

Switches? Never heard of em:

JavaScript:
if (global.left_key_pressed) {
    selected_button = scr_navigate_menu("left", selected_button); // And just like that, no more faggotswitch hell
}

It's still hardcoded because there's literally no way to undo the unholy bullshit he did without refactoring the entire thing dynamically. FUCK YOUUUUU MAAALD.

Though i dont even know if game maker supports locally defined variables cause Maldy doesnt ever seem to use them, nor do i even think i should give a fuck because im now doing the job of a 7 year blizzard veteran with 20 years of game dev experience.

Virtually every language does. Fucking lua and BASIC does. Even Assembly. :story:
 
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It's fucking hardcoded holy hell I hate him. Here's my take using grids and too much effort:
Though i dont even know if game maker supports locally defined variables cause Maldy doesnt ever seem to use them, nor do i even think i should give a fuck because im now doing the job of a 7 year blizzard veteran with 20 years of game dev experience.

I truly hate what i have become
DOES HE EVEN KNOW HOW SWITCH STATEMENTS WORK?
Fuck you, I'm refactoring your shit code.
Just a reminder, that this is time you will never get back. But we appreciate the sacrifice you've made with said time of your life, to show much of a fucking retard Mald is.

1751797121026.gif
 
Is there a precise time where he claims the swatting happened? It might be worth looking into police dispatch radios, if they are recorded online in his area.
 
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  • Late
Reactions: Adr1anD and gorgon
> "Hey while you are cleaning shit up off the floor I'm going to see if I can fix the load bearing walls"
>"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ARE GOING TO UNDERMINE CLEANING THE SHIT OFF OUR FLOOR YOU LIBERTARIAN."

I don't think that trying to antagonize anyone in this situation helps both cleaning the shit off the floor or getting the load bearing walls fixed, and just makes engaging in an bipartisian issue unpleasant.
shut up faggot
 
View attachment 7608005
I found this code on reddit that is supposedly from heart bound. This is atrocious. Instead of using a map between the two sets of numbers he just uses endless switch statements. This is yandere dev level stuff. I'm inclined to believe it since whenever he talks about tech stuff it shows incompetence masked with confidence.
his game is such an Undertale ripoff that he opted to also steal Toby's coding chops.
toby.webp
 
his game is such an Undertale ripoff that he opted to also steal Toby's coding chops.
View attachment 7608222

It's not as schizophrenic as Mald's but what the fuck is with all the magic nums? Tarot card coding cunt.

View attachment 7608297

Update is due tomorrow, so now he starts "working" on the game. When is he just gonna announce its cancelled and blame all the swatting and death threats for it?

IT'S NOT EVEN HEARTBOUND IT'S HIS FUCKING MINECRAFT GROOMER MMO

:story:
 
I couldn't find anybody that posted this before, but this slop news network guy did a look at thor... thor bros it's not looking good


Key points -

Goes over Thor's game dev experience - '20 years of game dev' is bullshit. he worked on hacking and social engineering, and was a QA tester.

Goes over Thor's streams vs his excuses for not working - multiple, unexplainable breaks with zero excuses

Goes over Thor's github - nothing on there lmao
 
I think the problem with most internet lolberts is that they're actually just Neoliberals who've memorized enough of Libertarian language and ideology to make their bootlicking sound like it's edgy and anti-statist when most of it just amounts to concern trolling to protect the government-corporate alliance.
I'll try to contain the :politisperg:, but I think this hits the nail on the head. I was ready to dismiss "lolbert" hate as a strawman, until I remembered that for every ideology, hobby, movement, etc., (hereafter: subculture,) you have highly invested and high performing people, but you also have vastly more people who just memorize the local jargon and maybe how you're "supposed" to feel and towards what. They're emulating a character in their head, instead of working from the founding principles of the subculture.

Maldy is actually the gamedev and hacker subculture version of this, except he failed to even memorize the jargon. Him getting memed on via Twitter over the "code cave" clip was funny as shit.

As I recall, Ross can hold a debate pretty well, as seen on an odd stream he had with Eliezer Yudkowsky a couple of years ago, so he should be able be unslogged by any sort of bullshit thrown at him, steadfast in his points.
This was one of the most insane bits of Ross lore, that I only found out because I went to his channel to link someone his SKG videos.
 
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