so im not sure where else to post this where I can vent and people understand me. but...
Hey man. This is going to sound like I am trying to be mean to you on purpose, but I'm not - I'm trying to explain the purpose of this website.
The people on here are not your friends. They do not care about you or your problems. Kiwi Farms is, essentially, a gossip forum. People come to this website so that they can talk shit about online "internet famous" people/communities. The reason why people come to Kiwi Farms specifically is because the moderation style means that they can say things that aren't allowed on other websites. They can, and will, be very cruel.
People have been sort of nice to you so far because they want you to come back and tell us information about Rose. Unless you are providing new factual information about Rose, nobody cares what you have to say. They do not care about who you are, why you did things, what your health problems are, etc. That is one of the "rules" of this forum - either give people the content that they are here for, or shut up and don't say anything. When other people think that you are "breaking the rules" they will be very mean to you, even if you believed that you had a good reason for doing it.
If you want to talk about your health problems, there are other communities online, like on Reddit or Facebook. It's probably a better idea to try to find an in-person support group because it's harder for fakers to get in to those. In general, most disabled people ARE pretty tired of fakers too, but most people don't say it out loud because it sounds like you're just being mean. They will understand how you feel, AND they will be nice to you, because those groups are
meant for talking about your health. This group is meant for being mean to people online.
You sound like a nice enough person. Rose probably saw that you were a nice person, and decided to take advantage of that. People on here are assholes, and they will be mean to you. In the nicest possible way: get off this website. Find somewhere that is better for talking about your health, maybe ask your caretaker/assistant for help finding a group. Good luck.