DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

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Where is DSP?

  • He is in Connecticut visiting family/funeral

    Votes: 213 47.9%
  • He and Khet are on a honeymoon style trip

    Votes: 12 2.7%
  • He has an issue (s) with the HOA requiring immediate fixes

    Votes: 27 6.1%
  • Comcast/ISP/Internet Issues

    Votes: 16 3.6%
  • He is taking a Kino Casino style break by not announcing when he comes back

    Votes: 30 6.7%
  • Phil and/or Khet Health Issue

    Votes: 48 10.8%
  • This is a social experiment from DSP

    Votes: 99 22.2%

  • Total voters
    445
  • Poll closed .
I think it's fairly obvious what happened.

DSP woke to find Jenna breaking into the Snort Fort, yelling about niggeR reparations and reeking of Kool-Aid. Thinking it was a black person, he pushed through a fierce bout of nail-biting and mightily swung the security hatchet. Due to bugged hatchet mechanics it missed Jenna but sliced off a prime cut of authentic matoor-aged Italian-style sausage DSP had been keeping in his boxers. Khet, driven to frenzy by the scent of raw meat, began to devour Phil, who had the presence of mind to grab his cell phone as he disappeared into her raccoon-esque maw. Now he is biding his time pulling rare Hogans while he waits for his chance to escape.
 
I guess I wouldn't be much of a 'tractor if I didn't chime in with speculation on what's going on with Phil before it's too late.

Personally, I reject any and every theory in which Phil could potentially still be streaming, even at a reduced capacity.
Divorce? Not likely for a lot of reasons, but even if that was happening, it's not something that would prevent him from streaming.
Parents coming to visit him? I imagine he'd still stream once a day (probably the night stream) at least. Pretty much anything that involves him being at home seems very unlikely to me.
I see some people are still on about an internet outage, but as others have stated, there's no reason Phil wouldn't have said that was what's going on. Incidentally, I have the same provider as Phil and in my experience, "scheduled maintenance" typically means the internet might go out at 2AM for around 10 minutes.
Phil traveling to CT still seems like the most likely of the theories that have been thrown out there.

All said, there are an infinite number of possibilities, so it could be something that none of us have thought of, no matter how sure anyone seems to be.
We still have the opportunity for the greatest plot twist in goutverse history. Phil dies, but the downfromtherafters account is still logged into on a daily basis. Then we can argue amongst one another if that means Phil actually told the truth about something, or if with his dying breath, he made Kat promise to do daily logins for some amount of time to 'felt' the detractors one last time.
 
Her Facebook isn't being tagged with prayers and neither is Dave's.
I don't think their pages are open for random friend posts and also when people have cancer/old people sickness they often don't tell anyone and people don't post about it on their FB pages if they do know.

(In all seriousness parents and sickness is a cunt. Even though people hate DSP I wouldn't wish this kind of stuff of anyone. I don't want to even joke about it regardless of the nature of this thread and if it so that kind of stuff god speed to his family)
 
it just proves no one really gives a shit about him or his content, life moves on and people just find the next tard to watch. i think he seriously imagined this place to go into full panic mode and for doody to off himself. people have normal lives outside of you phil.

Yeah I've just been catching up with my other lolcow Patrick Tomlinson and have started enjoying new (to me) lolcow Pirate Software. They both have qualities they share with the pig. Fatso Phil and morbidly obese Kat can die and I wouldn't care other than to laugh at their wasted time on Earth.

Us normals who work actual jobs have only so much time to milk a human (not even for suss).
 
Parents coming to visit him? I imagine he'd still stream once a day (probably the night stream) at least. Pretty much anything that involves him being at home seems very unlikely to me.
That was my first thought too, but I think he might avoid it because he wouldn't want people to know his parents are around because detractors would criticize him for spending X hours begging instead of hanging out with his parents who he hasn't seen in years and flew in to see him because he couldn't be bothered to fly out to them. I don't think they'd like, purposefully make their presence known or anything, but there's a good chance there'd be at least one or two interruptions, or the possibility of them being overheard.
I don't think their pages are open for random friend posts and also when people have cancer/old people sickness they often don't tell anyone and people don't post about it on their FB pages if they do know.

(In all seriousness parents and sickness is a cunt. Even though people hate DSP I wouldn't wish this kind of stuff of anyone. I don't want to even joke about it regardless of the nature of this thread and if it so that kind of stuff god speed to his family)
I agree that parents getting sick, even if your Phil, sucks. And if I thought they were really sick, I wouldn't joke about it. But the only "source" people have for Linda being on death's door is from Phil himself. Who, if I remember right, has alluded to his parents being on their death bed since the Leanna days. IIRC, when pressed for details, he even admitted at one point that nothing was wrong, but because they're "so old" they can kick the bucket at any point. Keep in mind, I think they were both in his 60's when he implied that.

I mean, older people getting sick is definitely a thing that happens, and even perfectly healthy/younger people are still mortal and can be involved in fatal car crashes or whatever, but as far as I know, there's 0 evidence outside of Phil insisting for years now (always when trying to elicit sympathy) that Linda has weeks to live. Add onto that, I don't doubt there are dedicated dentractors who are constantly refreshing whatever websites list CT obituaries.

I also don't think he'd go radio silent. Like, if he was too distressed to stream, I could understand that, but I feel like he'd be bitching about funeral arrangements and how the wake had dry turkey sandwiches or something. Or if she was sick, complaining about the doctors making them wait for test results or the like. It's just weirdly out of character for Phil not to complain about something/overshare details about whatever he's complaining about, so I can't imagine why Phil would go radio silent the one time he actually has something to justifiably bitch about. That's why I think whatever he's doing is fairly mundane and he's just trying to keep up the facade of being so busy working 31 hours a day that he can't ever take a break to even step outside, or that detractors are constantly harassing him and ruining his life that he couldn't dare go more than a day or two without streaming.
 
I'm starting to think sudden Kat sickness.

Kat's last actions were supposed to be cooking for the stream but suddenly Phil made up a weird excuse as to why there wasn't a home cooked meal.

And then the silence and absence began.

It makes me think Kat was planning on cooking but began feeling ill and told Phil she wasn't well enough to make food. But her condition worsened over the next day and now she's hospitalized. Alternatively, I thought maybe she has a scheduled procedure, the doctors told her not to eat the night before (so she didn't want to cook/felt too dizzy or whatever to cook), she had her procedure and was supposed to stay one night for observation (planned extra day off), but complications happened and now she's going to stay there. Kat made Phil swear he wouldn't say anything about it on x or on a stream, and maybe it's so serious he can't stay at the snortfort for long periods of time to stream. He can sneak away just long enough to get some pulls and sweep up comments while feeding jasper, but then he has to turn around and be back in her room.
 
I have no idea where DSP is but I want to know who these 7 absolute madlad hopeless romantics are:
View attachment 7625038

If this man has spent even one dollar, selflessly, on something nice for his wife I will eat my hat (and vest).
View attachment 7625039
Fight me loser. Meet me behind the wendys.
hey wouldn't it be funny if we just did dx crotch chop instead?
Screenshot 2025-07-10 130816.webp
 
Jaspie Jr, siddown, siddafugdown. I’m gonna say some bad words, and you’re gonna listen.

Your daddy Philip was a rat. And now he’s in witness protection.

Your mommy Fhetkhet too. That’s why she’s been gone longer, they got to her sooner.

He usually does a begathon before a Staycation, so either staycation or CT trip. I doubt Linda croaked just based on the fact that tobacco-roasted old women tend to live to 139 st the very least.

I doubt it’s anything interesting, but hey, I could be wrong. Maybe Fhet Khet got off the benzos and locked down a new simp?
this entire thing feels like a south park skit, then again the idea of dsp having a child is that comedic
 
Welp, last time I was around for something so out of character was during the one or two(?) streams where he did not beg at all, only for it to be him doing another "I SAID SO" moment about how not begging was not an option, blablabla...

I wanna believe the writers aren't just pulling another social experiment but at this point I can only assume he is going to come back and tell us how taking a break didn't improve his life/mental health (like some said it would), nor it lead to more donations (like some have assumed), even if the break itself wasn't planned and it was an emergency of sorts. The 4 day absence is a good setup for him to unknowingly say some retarded shit though, like when Fat Khet was revealed and one of the first things he said was "SHE IS NOT PREGNANT".


Enjoy your vaycay, Phillip.:semperfidelis:
 
This is why my theory is that someone here finally body swapped him. And he is now being puppeted by a Kiwi trying to salvage his life. And show us all that it can be done. Only reasonable choice
Different strokes and all that but if one morning as I was waking from anxious dreams I discovered that in bed I had been changed into a monstrous verminous pigroach the first thing I would do is walk into the sea. And there would be no second thing.
 
Kat did screw up the cooking as Philbert initially reported but he was so enraged that he forced her to eat the slop and that made her violently ill. DSP did nothing about it as he believed she deserved the intestinal comeuppance. However, once it was clear Kat was actually very sick, he begrudgingly brought her to hospital when she's been diagnosed with something serious and whatever little shame he has left in that dark abyss within, he's decided to stay with her and not stream...but still gamble.
 
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