Trainwreck ArchivistBecks / 8bitBecca / RemembrancerMx / Yonah Bex Gerber / Rebecca Marie Hernandez-Gerber - The Unhappiest Bitch on Earth. Used a Cancer Scare to Raise Money for a Disneyworld Trip. Collects Identities and Minority Labels Like They're Pokémon; Retired at 36 because of Self-Diagnosed PCOS

[Next Task]

It's almost like she'd have been much happier with one normal partner, instead of 3 barely functional freaks.

Yes, though Becky hates the idea that she's just that ordinary. But this presupposes she can be happy.

 

[Attractive Sexhaver]

It really does suck though when you have a partner who doesn't do anything for your birthday, or other special occasions. Totally unrelated question: do we have any evidence of Becky celebrating Cuckson's or Sam's birthday, or Cuckson's new job?

 

[Law]

Happy birthday Becca!

ugh, you waited until 3pm to say that to me? You're monsters. You're abusive. Send me my present and leave me alone. But be sure to make sure I know you want to talk to me. Ugh. The gall of you people.

If they started the day by calling her to wish her a happy birthday she'd be furious about them daring to overstimulate her, they should know better, how dare they.

 

[repentance]

It really does suck though when you have a partner who doesn't do anything for your birthday, or other special occasions

Daniel may have been the one who went the extra mile, but Jackson has been married to Becky for far too long to believe he can get away with not acknowledging "occasions" in her life. He works and her birthday is mid-week. There's every chance that dinner and a movie on the weekend (because we know Jackson's mum will babysit, Becky has mentioned it before) isn't special enough for the Jewish princess.

 

[VargReallyDidNothingWrong]

It's almost like she'd have been much happier with one normal partner, instead of 3 barely functional freaks.

She wouldn't have been happy even if she had a whole man-harem of Prince Charming clones that were perfect.

She's a fundamentally broken person psychologically speaking. She is incapable of "happiness" outside of short bursts, she is likely unable to just be content with life at all, because her brain needs catastrophe and strife - if none exists she will make it in order to feel "normal"

This is how BPDs work.

 

[Temperance]

Continuation of her birthday whining. Such a drama queen...
https://archive.is/j0gZC

Tried & failed to get pain meds for her totally-real, month-long, intense leg pain. Fat shamed by the doctor. Sent Jackson out to get dinner/wine/cheesecake. Watched Sam play a videogame while she drank her bottle of wine. Passed out on the couch and upset Sam. Ate her cheesecake.

(Happy birthday, Becky! )

Of course, she totally didn't pass out because she drank an entire bottle of wine by herself while stewing on the couch! It's all because of her new meds! She only had a tiny sip!


Also, Becky confirms that she can't cook or even "boil water":
https://archive.is/P13gL


Miscellaneous cringe:


This is a call-back to when she claimed her old self "died" in the hospital while giving birth to Hannah, and so now she's disabled and no one should ever expect her to get better (or get a job...) ever again.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I love the part where Evil Cuck specifically says "I'm going to be upset with you all night". He probably set an egg timer and everything.

Also, Becky confirms that she can't cook or even "boil water":

This is it, Jake Alley's moment to shine!

 

[Pargon]

Miscellaneous cringe:


This is a call-back to when she claimed her old self "died" in the hospital while giving birth to Hannah, and so now she's disabled and no one should ever expect her to get better (or get a job...) ever again.

lol sorry her mutant box can’t support human life, guess that should’ve been a sign from YHVH that sea hags aren’t meant to sexually reproduce

 

[Attractive Sexhaver]

Her husband works all day and comes home with wine and cake, only to have her shit talk it as "cheap" wine and "overpriced" cake. Then she fakes a medical crisis for attention. She's cartoonishly ungrateful. I wonder why no one bothers trying to celebrate her birthday

 

[Greedy Fly]

Listen Becky, we have an ancient Chinese legend for situations like this:

Cuck Daniel was a member of the Gerber Polycule, famous for their dramatic meltdowns, where it was known absolutely nothing one could do would please the Queen Blob. He was supposed to bring something to celebrate Becky's birthday, but he works full-time to support the household and it was clear he was not going to meet her impossible standards. Daniel turns to his partner Cuck Sam and asks:

“What’s the penalty for bringing her cards, wine and cake?”

“A BPD crash-out with fake medical crises and tantrums all week,” says Sam.

“And what’s the penalty for doing nothing?”

"A BPD crash-out with fake medical crises and tantrums all week,” says Sam.

“Well then…” says Cuck Daniel.

 

[The people of Australia]

I've got to wonder why Sam is sticking around now that his housing situation is insecure.

 

[unexpected onions]

I've got to wonder why Sam is sticking around now that his housing situation is insecure.

Because he's too awkward and gross to get a real girlfriend but doesn't want to just use his hand every time

 

[Stinkyboy]

L'Chaim to all the non-kosher stuff she's going to stuff into her face!

 

[sarna]

I've got to wonder why Sam is sticking around now that his housing situation is insecure.

Insecurity as part of Becky's menagerie is still a hell of a lot cheaper than having to find a place in the greater LA area on his own.

 

[Hungry Wes Borland]

Her husband works all day and comes home with wine and cake, only to have her shit talk it as "cheap" wine and "overpriced" cake. Then she fakes a medical crisis for attention. She's cartoonishly ungrateful. I wonder why no one bothers trying to celebrate her birthday

and cooks her dinner!

she can't boil water, apparently. I'm not the least bit surprised she doesn't cook but it was still a bit of new information for me. puts into perspective her whining about people getting mad when she doesn't make morning tea. I'm sure it's exaggerated but I could totally imagine the resentment as a result. I cook you every meal and you can't pour water over a tea bag while I'm doing some other task?

also yes the cheap Spanish wine.... goddamn this bitch never stops telling on herself. how'd you know it's cheap, btw?

 

[The Judean People's Front]

Becky wonders why she even tries. Because this is Becky trying, apparently.


Just avail yourself of the sea already Becky.

I hope Zoey here becomes her new Krissy. He seems really keen, Becky.

 

[Autistic Nonetheless]

Miscellaneous cringe:

Someone's missing the attention. Sorry Bex, you're gonna have sleep with the remaining cuck or at least stuff a pillow under your shirt if you want that level of concern ever gain.

Also her pretending to be slumming it is almost adorable. Becky is a fighter you know. Pappi used to give her nothing but a single, stale pea for breakfast.

 

[rusty shackleford 1]

That was an incredibly awkward series of tweets about never drinking again. She must have made an absolute ass out of herself lol. Translating from BPD I’m guessing she did or said something cruel and “I’m going to be mad at you for the rest of the night,” was actually more like, “you expect me to just be ok after how you just acted?”

 

[StoneColdSteveAutism]

To me what stands out most is how Becky's been acting towards Jackson. It shows true survival instinct. Have you noticed she's been incredibly nice towards him? Every mention of "hubbie" or "husband" (other than the ex) has been mid-to-positive.

I mean, she still rants about how terrible her family or men or people are, but -- let's be honest -- she doesn't consider Jackson a member of any one of those categories.

He's a life preserver, and she knows when to just hold on as tightly as she can.

 

[Wargarbl]

It really does suck though when you have a partner who doesn't do anything for your birthday, or other special occasions. Totally unrelated question: do we have any evidence of Becky celebrating Cuckson's or Sam's birthday, or Cuckson's new job?

She "celebrated" Cuckson's new job by gloating on social media that she no longer needed Daniel's financial support. Which she reversed course on the second it was useful for an argument, true to Becky form.

also yes the cheap Spanish wine.... goddamn this bitch never stops telling on herself. how'd you know it's cheap, btw?

She has no idea if it was $10 or $50, but she was sure it wasn't the well over $100 that a momentous occasion like her birthday deserves. She just wanted to make a dramatic point on social media.

I think someone else said it before but it was extremely apt: Becky is kind of like Lucille Bluth, except Becky is real and lacks any of the character's charm or wit. Like Lucille, Becky and reality never cross paths.