Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

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A pooner's gooner girl pal showed her what constitutes as "proper yaoi" for the kids these days - biological male on TiF - and has a new reason to feel like shit about herself. If you're going to go to the trouble of fetishizing homosexual relationships, why make it heterosexual anyway? Then again, female fandom spaces certainly deliver some... unique perspectives on female sexuality as a whole, to put it lightly.
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[DYSPHORIA TRIGGER] Is it weird that being fetishized gave me a type of dysphoria I’ve never had before?

I was in a situation recently, where someone I knew (cis women) had been showing me content that fetishized trans men, specifically the fact that they are born with female genitalia. I won’t really be more into it because it isn’t necessary, but to summarize. She hasn’t stopped, she only consumes m/m content when one of them is trans, she does have a fetish for trans ftms, and she shows me it constantly.
But that’s not really what I’m wondering about obviously. I’ve never experienced bottom dysphoria before, but recently after I’ve come to terms with what’s going on with her, I’ve started feeling more bottom dysphoria. I didn’t think that you could get dysphoria so I’m kind of confused. It may be that I had a small amount of it, then feeling feminized made the small amount of pre-existing bottom dysphoria feel even worse. But I really don’t know, since I’ve only ever experienced chest dysphoria, but the new feeling is the same one that I feel about my chest, just in a different place now.
I feel absolutely terrible, and now I can’t escape from the feeling of femininity. I hate it and I just don’t know what to do. I feel ashamed and upset that this happened, and that it is still ongoing.
If there is something wrong with how this is tagged please let me know!
Another example of a FTM (fujoshi to "male"): OP is annoyed that she's been rightfully addressed as the entity that she is - a gender-nonconforming heterosexual woman. As is usual for pronoun people of this particularity, she takes to Reddit to find support from her fellow doodz, trying to pretend she isn't bothered by flippantly remarking "sorry for wanting to see other gay people in fiction I guess?" Spare me the superiority, sister; let's not pretend works like Red, White and Royal Blue are remotely accurate in comparison to Queer As Folk or even your average Tom of Finland scribble.
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Apparently only straight women read boy love lol

I can’t be the only person whose heard this, I’m pretty sure it’s a common sentiment
I’ve got this coworker (who’s genderfluid) that is pretty supportive, but recently started misgendering me more often. Whatever, idrc. He said he was going to read some BL and I, someone with no sense of sarcasm, said I could recommend him some good gay western comics. He said, basically, ‘of course you’d say that, you’re basically a straight woman.’ Like huh?? What??? It’s always friendly fire when people say stuff like that I’ve noticed.
Even as an exclusive top, who doesn’t use their biology, who’s been on T for years, gay men still try to gate-keep me out of the community.
So remember, if someone ever tells you you’re not gay because you’re a trans man, it’s not because you don’t ‘pass’. They’ll say that no matter what lol
Also funnily timed with the other post on here about yuri and yaoi, that’s probably why he’s so adamantly against reading BL. Sorry for wanting to see other gay people in fiction I guess?
(Let me know if this is the wrong sub, I didn’t think this post was super negative but yknow).
Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder: a "gay trans guy" wistfully reflects on the loneliness born of her choice to mutilate herself to become an off-putting fascimile of the male form. Every time I see pooners complain about this, I think of all the visually unappealing women I've come across in my life followed by a gaggle of homely (yet seemingly well-loved) babies and their beastly beaus in tow, and I wonder: are you actually having trouble finding a date, or are you having trouble finding a date because you think you're in a position to have any sort of standards? Because you're not exactly first pick for the Henry Cavills or the Jensen Ackleses of the world.
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On t and happy but I miss men being interested in me

That's all. I miss feeling like i can find a guy who'll like me back as i am. I wish i could be a good looking woman, because being a gay trans guy just feels a little shitty, like I got all the wrong parts and it makes me feel a little unlovable. But I'm not a woman, and I tried that for long enough to know it.
Ignorance is bliss: a pooner resents the price of increased visibility, which seems to be something TiFs resent hate more than their troon counterparts. At least out-and-proud trannies of the Dylan Mulvaney breed can get some "yaaaas girls" from handmaidens and homosexual hombres alike, but nobody wants to hang out with a squat little gnome that sounds like an anime voice actor with perpetual bronchitis.
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Can people just go back to being clueless again, please?

I really truly miss the times when people didn't know what transgenderism was. When they'd look at me and think "oh that is probably a guy with hormone issues" rather than "oh that's a woman who mutilated herself to become a man" because now that they're more "educated" by the media, they can spot us sometimes, and they have new, "more educated" sounding rhetoric to try and invalidate our existence. Please just stay clueless and leave me exist in peace...
Natural instinct is hunting this young TiF with a bow and arrow and deadly accurate precision: without treatment, she feels an urge that most human beings experience at some point but is unsure what to make of it, hoping that her desires to be a wife and mother will dissipate once she starts tampering with biology. She even states that she has no interest in being a "seahorse dad" - she specifically wants to be a mama and a missus. How interesting!
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Why do I still wish to be a mom sometimes?

I have legit no idea what to flair this because I’m just going to go on a rant and I’m wondering if any trans guys feel the same
I’m aware being a “seahorse dad”, as some people say it, is a thing. But that’s not what I mean here
Is this a hormones thing? I feel this way so weirdly often which is specifically weird because a good 80 to 90% of the time I’m perfectly content with the “I just want to be a guy and be perceived as a guy” yet sometimes I just feel like “must continue bloodline”
I’m pre T so maybe this will just go away if I don’t have a body full of more estrogen vs testosterone.
But way too often for my liking I have a weird fantasy of being someone’s wife and being a mother and like, if it’s just a pre T thing then great, it’ll go away
But if it isn’t then I’m just confused??? I definitely don’t really want kids long term, I don’t have the patience for them and the idea of being a guy in love with another guy is really appealing to me, and whenever I have a fantasy like this I’m specifically a mom. Not a trans dad whose just carrying the kid
I’m probably very sloppy since I’m writing this so late but I’m just so confused does anyone relate or am I just weird and shouldn’t have access to Reddit right now?
Speaking of those "seahorse dads", enjoy a few stories in which it becomes clear that cryptic pregnancies seem to be more common in FTMs than in regular women, which is likely why they keep having testosterone-poisoned tadpoles spawning from their uterine ponds. Farmers with little farmhands of your own, try not to get too MATI about these posts.

A TiF whose baby wound up in the NICU is struggling with how to adjust to life as a... erm, "father", and fears that she isn't measuring up. One commenter gives her reassurance to "don't sweat the "bonding" thing overmuch", especially when it comes to visiting. As of posting, it is July, and her baby was born in January of 2025, so her baby is likely still hospitalized as I write this. But yeah, no, don't sweat it, it's not like they remember the first six months of their lives, right? No big, dood!
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Cryptic pregnancy

Hi, so I had a cryptic pregnancy. I had a premie baby on the 29th of June and he's gonna be in the neonatal unit until August. I'm trying to adjust to the idea that im gonna be a dad and I'm so lost on what to do with myself. I'm visiting every day and I'm so exhausted from it. Any and all advice would be appreciated.
OP here is one of the rare women who speculates that her testosterone abuse may impact her baby, but other cultists are quick to placate her with flippant lines like "Your baby will be perfect. Maybe a little more muscular than the average kid, but ya know, that's fine." One particularly abject piece of shit has the audacity to claim "even if there IS a correlation, it is no reason to treat testosterone-while-pregnant like it’s irresponsible. there are plenty of healthy (or relatively healthy) intersex people out there; i’m one of them. it’s a possibility worth preparing for, like the possibility that your kid might be disabled, trans, or gay."; another one ignorantly states "There isn't a case where defects of a baby were related to T."
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So. I didn't go off T

I had a cryptic pregnancy and I didn't go off T (obviously). I'm nearly two years on T and I've just had a baby and I haven't missed a single day of my testosterone. I feel insanely lucky to have been able to do this. But I also feel insanely guilty. Because what if this hurt my baby? What if he has something wrong with him because of me?? Just. Ugh.
This sorry tale is one that makes my heart hurt for the little lad born to this particular TiF, as she has regularly pumped herself with steroids, imbibed alcohol and smoked cigarettes during his most vital gestational periods because she's a fucking retard who assumed no period = no fertility. At least she feels some degree of guilt about this, but unfortunately the future does not bode well for what will likely be a particularly slow boy born too early with the smoothest philtrum in the world.
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Cryptic pregnancy and testosterone exposure/ 26 weeks

Not sure how to start this or what i’m even looking for but I’d like to get it off my chest.
I’m 26 weeks pregnant, and did not find out until 24 weeks- obviously, this was an unplanned pregnancy. I’ve been on T for 3 1/2 years, my partner and I have wanted to start a family but that wasn’t something we were planning on anytime soon. I’ve always been a pretty short and skinny guy along with being physically active.
Wasn’t until the end of december that I noticed some physical changes, my partner and I assumed due to the harsh winter weather here in the midwest that I was gaining a few pounds from not going out as much and just sitting at home eating. Then during new years, i started feeling what i now know was kicking. Took a test, came back positive.
I’ve stopped drinking, haven’t done another T-shot and immediately started booking appointments. Today we went and met with an OBGYN along with a high-risk pregnancy specialist. Got a detailed ultrasound done, and so far baby looks good, and healthy for their gestational age, and found out they are a boy. The gender is one of the main worrying factors my OB has, while the Ultrasound showed male presenting genitalia, they are still running an NIPT to rule everything out for sure.
I’m in a complete whirlpool of emotions and thoughts. On one hand I am excited for this baby, they are so active now, constantly moving around, I was mesmerized watching them on the screen this morning, I can barely believe this little guy is growing inside me. But for every positive emotion, I’ve got just as many negative and worrying ones.
I feel extreme guilt over this conception, I never planned on still being on T, especially this far in, I’m a regular drinker and smoker.
The past 6 months i’ve gone out, got drunk, probably been way too risk-taking, took no prenatal supplements, have done nothing to prepare physically for this pregnancy. I’m trying to give myself grace, I genuinely had no fucking idea, no symptoms whatsoever until I gained maybe 2 pounds and started experiencing kicking. I feel like a fucking idiot and a failure of a father already.
My partner and I are now rushing the clock to prepare financially, moving, changing around our entire lives so we can be ready by the end of April. I’m so stressed, trying to juggle getting every possible doctor appointment I can set up, figuring out how paternity leave is going to work, etc.
We’re having this baby, we are on the same page and both excited but filled with so much dread. Besides my partner I have no one I can really talk about all of this with. I don’t even want to get into the dysphoria aspect, that’s an entirely different hellhole.
I really don’t know what i’m looking for, but if someone else had an unplanned pregnancy while still on T, or even just a history with finding out so late I’d love to hear how everything went for you.
 
I bet you'd also find a higher forced sex fantasy % among liberal or atheist woman vs conservative or religious women too and this normal women vs non-binary women forced sex fantasy result is due to the same phenomenon.
Either louise Perry or Mary Harrington have a theory that fantasies for violent sex are a result of women who are lacking masculine presences in their lives and so end up yearning for a twisted version of it. The fact that women in bondage sadomasochism communities are skewed highly liberal and atheist supports this.
hey are often more stereo-typically women than those that self-identify.
having violent fantasies doesn't make you more feminine. the group of females with the lowest rate of violent fantasies are probably Amish or Mormon or other religious communities that have the most differentiated gender roles (i.e. the women are the most feminine and the men are the most masculine)
 
I bet you'd also find a higher forced sex fantasy % among liberal or atheist woman vs conservative or religious women too and this normal women vs non-binary women forced sex fantasy result is due to the same phenomenon.
Either louise Perry or Mary Harrington have a theory that fantasies for violent sex are a result of women who are lacking masculine presences in their lives and so end up yearning for a twisted version of it. The fact that women in bondage sadomasochism communities are skewed highly liberal and atheist supports this.

having violent fantasies doesn't make you more feminine. the group of females with the lowest rate of violent fantasies are probably Amish or Mormon or other religious communities that have the most differentiated gender roles (i.e. the women are the most feminine and the men are the most masculine)
Clearly you've never read smut written by religious women or looked into the kind sof romances they like.

> the group of females with the lowest rate of violent fantasies are probably Amish or Mormon or other religious communities that have the most differentiated gender roles (i.e. the women are the most feminine and the men are the most masculine)

Yeah because they get it out of their system by beating the shit out of their kids regularly.
 
This is a perfect example of what’s going on in the gay community right now - trans entitlement to gay male spaces and bodies.
It's been happening for over ten years, it's just mostly been happening to lesbians, weird kids, or women in general. We have been scared, violated, and uncomfortable for a girl-dick waxing decade. We have been ostracized, fired, threatened, we have lost friends, husbands, fathers, mothers, children. We have continuously spoken up and been punished for our boldness. And in a lot of places, we still can't speak. But sorry about your somehow socially acceptable gay orgy bug chaser island, that sounds super important.

I hope Fire Island is full of fatberg titless rotdog fujos by this time next summer. And I hope you and one of the poons are wearing the same thing one night and all the actual fags notice.
 
It's been happening for over ten years, it's just mostly been happening to lesbians, weird kids, or women in general. We have been scared, violated, and uncomfortable for a girl-dick waxing decade. We have been ostracized, fired, threatened, we have lost friends, husbands, fathers, mothers, children. We have continuously spoken up and been punished for our boldness. And in a lot of places, we still can't speak. But sorry about your somehow socially acceptable gay orgy bug chaser island, that sounds super important.

I hope Fire Island is full of fatberg titless rotdog fujos by this time next summer. And I hope you and one of the poons are wearing the same thing one night and all the actual fags notice.

Response here in spoilers so those that don't want to read it don't have to
I'm on your side here. I completely agree that gay guys should have done more to notice and defend the rights of women and lesbians over the past decade. The simple fact is that our cultures don't mix and most gays didn't realize how bad the trans invasion was until it hit us with these pooners. Now there's starting to be lots of gay YouTubers and voices speaking up against male colonization of women's spaces too. Better late than never, I guess.

To the other responses on my comments, I think we have more common ground than it seems. Y'all don't have to approve of or participate in gay culture or gay naked pool parties just like I don't have to approve of or participate in straight nudist culture or swinger orgies - to each their own. What I'm shaming here is that trans (straight women and men mostly) thinking they are gay or lesbian when they are just straight people. Gays and lesbians will always be able to find our tribe when the trans invader is doomed to always be an outsider because they cannot cope with their biological sex.

A lot of gay spaces are degenerate I agree, and I condemn the degeneracy when it is introduced into straight/public spaces equally (like street pride, drag queen story hour, etc.). I'm on kiwi farms because I support this type of discussion and think it is much needed after the last decade of language-policing and censorship.

We are united in bagging on pooners here. Party on.

now back to the thread - here is a webcomic posted on reddit that appears to be a youth targeted zippertits marketing strategy
2021-07-13-Top-Surgery-Jey-Pawlik.webp
 
Personally I prefer the fecal content of the pool water at a pool party to be zero
Wouldn't we all?

When I was a teen, I went with a group of friends to Skara Sommarland, which is the biggest and most famous waterpark in Scandinavia. At one point my friend noticed something on the bottom of one of the pools giving off a brown haze. We freaked, of course, and told one of the pool guards (also a teen, but a few years older than us). He calmly picked up a sift type thing with a long handle and fished the turd out of the pool, and when my friend asked how he can be so cool about it, he said it happens every single day.
 
Explain the triumph of Jesus Christ, then

My brother in Christ, the church quite literally had armies.

There's this proto-pooner I like at work and I've been subtly dropping all the lines that the pooners in this thread freak out over in order to discourage her delusions. It's kinda funny watching her trying to hide her reactions to some of them. It's for her own good.

.....I'm a sociopath aren't I?
 
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Case in point. You ain’t invited, don’t worry! You’re welcome to cry at home with the pooners about our pool parties, they’re a very inclusive bunch I hear.
I truly believe every faggot, man or women, should kill themselves. There's really nothing else you can do with such horrific aberrations of nature. Just an actual blight on society.
 
I don't get it how pregnancy doesn't make these lunatics dysphoric. Or is this something their porn rotted brain likes because of fujoshi porn?

Oh, no. I've always wondered the same thing and now I realize it's probably because they all read mpreg/ass-baby fics as teenagers. When people used to laugh at that stuff on Godawful Fan Fiction, I thought it was harmless cringe and didn't know it would someday lead to postmodern thalidomide babies. (:_(
 
Of course this obese demon has a baphomet tattoo. The funny thing is it's exactly the satanist larpers that spend all day lecturing Christians on how Jesus would totally support trannies.
Not sure which Kiwis need to hear this, but no matter how easy pooner pussy may be to get, you never know if they stare at the bits and bobs you were born with without simmering in a borderline bunny boiler-ish jealousy over the simple fact that you can stand to pee. The number of FTMs transfixed on the ability to pee standing up is sincerely disturbing!
Testosterone turns the insane dial up to 11 on some of these broads. I wonder if we'll see a pooner Lorena Bobbitt?
Another example of a FTM (fujoshi to "male"): OP is annoyed that she's been rightfully addressed as the entity that she is - a gender-nonconforming heterosexual woman.
Lol this freakshow described herself as an "exclusive top". What is she topping with? Her clitoris?
So remember, if someone ever tells you you’re not gay because you’re a trans man, it’s not because you don’t ‘pass’. They’ll say that no matter what lol
Yeah, I wonder why they'd say that?
OP here is one of the rare women who speculates that her testosterone abuse may impact her baby, but other cultists are quick to placate her with flippant lines like "Your baby will be perfect. Maybe a little more muscular than the average kid, but ya know, that's fine." One particularly abject piece of shit has the audacity to claim "even if there IS a correlation, it is no reason to treat testosterone-while-pregnant like it’s irresponsible. there are plenty of healthy (or relatively healthy) intersex people out there; i’m one of them. it’s a possibility worth preparing for, like the possibility that your kid might be disabled, trans, or gay."; another one ignorantly states "There isn't a case where defects of a baby were related to T."
Crucify filthy zippertits. Throw pooners into active volcanoes. Stir fry doods in a wok. Judo throw gaydens into a wood chipper.
 
Another example of a FTM (fujoshi to "male"): OP is annoyed that she's been rightfully addressed as the entity that she is - a gender-nonconforming heterosexual woman. As is usual for pronoun people of this particularity, she takes to Reddit to find support from her fellow doodz, trying to pretend she isn't bothered by flippantly remarking "sorry for wanting to see other gay people in fiction I guess?" Spare me the superiority, sister; let's not pretend works like Red, White and Royal Blue are remotely accurate in comparison to Queer As Folk or even your average Tom of Finland scribble.
Tom of Finland would absolutely drive them up the wall because even though, as a Finn, he hated Nazis, he adored their uniforms and they became a staple in his leather daddy drawings. Hell I wager most Leather Daddy culture is downwind from Nazi uniforms, same as punk.

I mentioned Samuel Delany in a different thread, but compare his writing to Red, White and Royal Blue. You've got a kid dragging out literal shit with his teeth vs a romance involving a Mexican burger mutt fucking a (surprisingly) blond British princeling.
I’ve got this coworker (who’s genderfluid) that is pretty supportive, but recently started misgendering me more often. Whatever, idrc. He said he was going to read some BL and I, someone with no sense of sarcasm, said I could recommend him some good gay western comics. He said, basically, ‘of course you’d say that, you’re basically a straight woman.’ Like huh?? What??? It’s always friendly fire when people say stuff like that I’ve noticed.
I bet he's reading Scum Villian Society or Modang Xioashu/The Untamed, the basic bitch Chink boys' love. They never read actual Bara because then they'd be mentioning Catalinaville or Yukio Mishima.
Even as an exclusive top, who doesn’t use their biology, who’s been on T for years, gay men still try to gate-keep me out of the community.
Let me guess. She uses a sex toy exclusively on other women.
So remember, if someone ever tells you you’re not gay because you’re a trans man, it’s not because you don’t ‘pass’. They’ll say that no matter what lol
Also funnily timed with the other post on here about yuri and yaoi, that’s probably why he’s so adamantly against reading BL. Sorry for wanting to see other gay people in fiction I guess?
Pooners love saying they're gay men because they separate genitalia from sex. If you identify as the opposite sex, your genitalia is of the sex you identify as. Therefore, it's "girl cock" and "man pussy" and it cannot be straight if the vagina owner identifies as a man.
that sounds like an anime voice actor with perpetual bronchitis.
I'm in awe of your witticisms.
I don't get it how pregnancy doesn't make these lunatics dysphoric. Or is this something their porn rotted brain likes because of fujoshi porn?
It's both. Some pooners absolutely dread pregnancy and will go into hysterics if a man doesn't use protection. The other wants it all: language changes from "pregnant woman" to "pregnant people". They want to have totally gay sex but also heed the call of biology - if you fit their dream man. See, pooners in public will tell you gender isn't real and sex is nebulous. That's terf talk. But find their fan pages or see what they reblog on their spare time. You'll find their dream men are: 6'0, six figures, six pack, (over) six inches. They love well hung men and would love nothing more than a man with a Greek God Chad physique to fuck the woman back into them.

It's gotten to a point where even other pooners get uncomfortable with these seahorse dads fetishizing pregnancy. When I say fetishize, I mean it: we're talking 1950s tradwife, barefoot and pregnant, serving their husband hand and foot. These same pooners will then tell you tradition is bad and this conservative lifestyle doesn't work while basing entire headcanons on cottagecore. Just look like Justin Baldoni mixed with Henry Cavill and they'll slobber for that dick.
 
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