Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

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FieldPiece said:
My issue is that in my experience the way women speak makes it incredibly difficult to have even a slightly interesting conversation.
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Become gay. That'll solve all your issues. You'll never have to deal with boring femoids again.

Clearly you don't actually want advice from the women on this board, because you keep ignoring EVERYTHING said by refusing to do any self reflection. 💀
 
FieldPiece said:
When I was in high school I dated a girl who was obsessed with Modest Mouse. She had all the albums, trivia, a bunch of t-shirts, knew how to play Trailer Trash on guitar. I like Modest Mouse too but when I asked what she liked about them she could not make a single remark as to why and this baffled me. It still baffles me. This pattern of behavior has happened over and over and I'm still baffled by it.
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Because the question is very direct. It's hard for most people to answer it without feeling like they're saying something fake-deep and uninformative (unless they're some music critic that's used to answering questions like this on the spot). There's a technique to talking about things that are made up of complex topics with a lot of nonverbal elements; music is just one of those topics.

Like, I can tell you about a ton of meaningful experiences I've had listening to [band], why I prefer the eras I do over other ones, how I think the biographical experiences of the members influenced the lyrics and themes of [album], and why critics were wrong about [albums]. It's also really hard to access that information when I'm trying to make a good first impression (i.e. not look like a sperg by saying 10 consecutive paragraphs out loud at them), pay attention to the other person properly, account for what they may or may not already know about this as not to bore them, and attend to factors that are outside the conversation but still relevant to what's going on (is that the waitress coming back? how's the other person's body language? am I enjoying myself?). If someone says "what do you like about [band]?", my answer is "a lot, idk, where do you want me to start?"

I think a lot of people are like that (both sexes). The ability to answer a question that direct in a way that moves the conversation along, especially on a first date, is more correlated with a "take turns infodumping about [mutual interest]" conversational style. Source: noticing the difference between how AuDHD horse girl friend and normie friends discuss the same topics

So, the best advice I can give you would be to do one of these things:
  • Select for dates who are more 'tistic and therefore more likely to be able to explain their interests to you on the spot. If you haven't already, joining some kind of hobby club or otherwise finding an IRL social group based on your interests will help.
  • Have a less 'tistic conversational style. Ask more specific, personalized questions like "how did you first get into [interest]?" or "are you more into [x part of interest] or [y part of interest]?"
 
I've been taken advantage of a lot in relationships. It's kind of making it hard to trust people in general. Are there any kinds of red flags or warning signs I should look out for?
 
w.a.m.s. said:
Have a less 'tistic conversational style. Ask more specific, personalized questions like "how did you first get into [interest]?" or "are you more into [x part of interest] or [y part of interest]?"
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Thank fuck finally someone is able to give actual advice that makes sense with instructive examples.
 
FieldPiece said:
She didn't say she's scared, she's just commented that the book is scary. This is exactly my point. Saying something is "scary" without explaining why you think that is meaningless. If you want to change the subject then just say so don't expect people to read your mind.

Asking whether you should watch the movie or read the book is just a nothing question. Then I'm forced to give an answer, then ask a question and another question. If I ask a question I want an explanation not just an answer.

I wouldn't just ask "should I read the book or the watch movie?" There's no openness or context to that question. Do you generally prefer movies to books? Do you like reading the book after the movie so you can ascribe certain voices to certain character? Do you like seeing if a movie matched with how you pictured the book when you read it? Instead literally every question is just "Turkey or Ham?" and that's a really shitty way to know someone.
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Food for thought: take people as they are instead of overlaying what you think they "should" be/ think/ say (which in your comments has sounded like, "like me"). Think about what they say and what they might actually be trying to convey, rather than evaluating it.

As for your last paragraph: this was a reasonable question: the movie was immensely successful and well-regarded, which is not always the case with movie adaptations. There are often significant-enough differences between a movie and book that people compare the experience of both. This question wasn't, "I have to choose but I have no idea what to do"; it was an opening to hear about your thoughts on both. This is called engaging conversation, and it differs from autistic demands for flat answers. You missed a cue for a possibly interesting conversation, and what's more, you missed that she was evidencing curiosity - specifically, curiosity about you and how you think. You missed it because she didn't ask it in the way you would or that you think she should have.

Otterly said:
When a girl pouts and says ‘it was scary’ she is wanting you to act a certain way. She isn’t expounding on literary tropes, let’s put it that way. She wanted something different from you. When you didn’t give it, she shut down the conversation.
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Meh. It could also just be a throwaway comment, or a situation in which she's not sure that he's really able to interact congenially. I could definitely see this kind of comment from someone who is slightly irritated by the person they're addressing and borderline giving up on trying to engage (perhaps because at every turn she is corrected or monologued at...maybe).
 
Spooky all year said:
Become gay. That'll solve all your issues. You'll never have to deal with boring femoids again.

Clearly you don't actually want advice from the women on this board, because you keep ignoring EVERYTHING said by refusing to do any self reflection. 💀
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It's weird, I condescend and sneer down my nose at women and all they say to me is "K"! I talk about my obscure esoteric interests and they don't even ask me questions about them. GAWD women can't have conversations and have no interests just like andrew tate told me :lossmanjack:
 
FieldPiece said:
Thank fuck finally someone is able to give actual advice that makes sense with instructive examples.
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Women more so then men end a conversation quickly with short answers if they're uncomfortable. If your probing questions like asking a why question about an interest (which can easily be interpreted as "why the fuck do you find that ineteresting?" and you kinda seem like you might give off that energy. Whereas if you're positive and genuinely interested, she might enjoy telling you about it.
 
In December 2024 or thereabouts Fieldpiece would "joke" about raping lidl drip on lidls profile page. Thats the kind of gentleman that he is.
 
Squanto Airi said:
How have you been taken advantage of, if you don't mind me asking.
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I don't know if I can trust a question like this, but I'll try my best to answer without revealing too much. I try my best to make people happy. In my last relationship, I didn't have much say over anything. Whatever she said goes. My ex wouldn't let me be affectionate or spend time with her unless it was in a way that she approved of. I remember her telling me that she always needed to feel in control otherwise she wouldn't feel safe. I wasn't allowed to tell our mutual friends that we were dating. She even said she would have felt mortified if they found out which left me feeling kind of isolated when we had problems. She used me for sex and company, and when she was done, she just walked out of my life without even saying anything to me. I don't know. Was it my fault things fell apart? Would things have been different if I were more assertive or stood up for myself more?
 
That doesn't sound like a relationship at all, and only used you as an emotional sneaky link.
Crant said:
My ex wouldn't let me be affectionate or spend time with her unless it was in a way that she approved of.
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Crant said:
I wasn't allowed to tell our mutual friends that we were dating.
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These, plus her saying "she needs to be in control" are some red flags.
 
Crant said:
I've been taken advantage of a lot in relationships. It's kind of making it hard to trust people in general. Are there any kinds of red flags or warning signs I should look out for?
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Crant said:
I don't know if I can trust a question like this, but I'll try my best to answer without revealing too much. I try my best to make people happy. In my last relationship, I didn't have much say over anything. Whatever she said goes. My ex wouldn't let me be affectionate or spend time with her unless it was in a way that she approved of. I remember her telling me that she always needed to feel in control otherwise she wouldn't feel safe. I wasn't allowed to tell our mutual friends that we were dating. She even said she would have felt mortified if they found out which left me feeling kind of isolated when we had problems. She used me for sex and company, and when she was done, she just walked out of my life without even saying anything to me. I don't know. Was it my fault things fell apart? Would things have been different if I were more assertive or stood up for myself more?
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You're going to continue to be taken advantage of unless you stick uo for yourself and your needs.

This is going to be regardless of whether she wants to take advantage or not.

Also, yes things would have been different if you had more assertive. Maybe different would have meant she accounted for your needs more, or maybe it meant she or you would have broken things off earlier.

From what you describe, it doesn't sound like things fell apart, as that would require there was some good foundation for something and what you described didn't sound like that.
 
Otis Mallebrok said:
In December 2024 or thereabouts Fieldpiece would "joke" about raping lidl drip on lidls profile page. Thats the kind of gentleman that he is.
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Lmao you're still mad about that? What, does she pay your bills or something? God forbid someone make a joke reference to an applebees waiter after a chick goes on her regularly scheduled 9-5 tirade about how half the world needs to be enslaved and slaughtered.
 
FieldPiece said:
God forbid someone make a joke reference to an applebees waiter
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You opined on lidl drips profile, that raping her wouldn't be as enjoyable, because you knew that she would like it. Something like that. That was the "joke". You were pretty lucky not to get permaban, nigger
 
Lemmingwiser said:
From what you describe, it doesn't sound like things fell apart, as that would require there was some good foundation for something and what you described didn't sound like that.
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I thought she and I were friends when we started out, but when you put it like that, maybe we weren't. Our mutual friends ask me about her sometimes because she hasn't spoken to any of them either. In any case, I deeply appreciate you and @Squanto Airi for your insights. I'll try my best to find a real relationship in the future :like:
 
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