Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

Jake Alley said:
The most important thing for a videogame to do is punish failure in a way that makes it entirely clear where your error was
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Also Jake Alley said:
Everything seemed to be going just fine and dandy for several hours
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Your error was sitting back for several hours and assuming everything was fine and dandy, dumbass.
 
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Jaimas said:
All right.

For the moment, I'm going to ignore that Jakey is trying to compare a video game from 1982 (which you can play here) to a game 32 years its junior, with completely different genres. I will also ignore the fact that this plays into my ongoing theory that Jakey is a dismal failure who disparages anything he cannot excel at.

The level of false equivalence here goes beyond any attempt I've made to make sense of it. Jakey describes these games mechanics as being the same as a single-player only experience where you game over automatically because of an arbitrary reason he never conceives of. What he's failing to notice, of course, is that he's fighting against an opponent, and thusly, isn't facing a single player-only experience.

In Jakey's worldview, his loss isn't his fault because he has no idea what he did wrong and the game isn't tutorialized enough for his stupid ass.

But you know what? I'll show the blatant logic hole in why Jakey's an idiot with a good game.

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Here's me playing C&C3's expansion and introducting the blue player to a really bad day. In this particular case, I expanded early, at the risk of my strongpoints being more isolated, and the risk paid off with dividends, allowing me to field more forces with better gear in less time and essentially allowing me to Scrin all over Blue's business.

You'll note that what the computer-controlled player is not doing here is whining because I attacked it before it was ready or butt-fucked its forward base using Devourer Tanks with no warning whatsoever.
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Great example. See, he COULD have used this opportunity to discuss the dilemma behind Civilization, a game which has existed *for 25 years* — “small pox” (expand quickly with small weak cities) vs “great pox” (expand slowly by building up each city before founding the next city).

“Small pox” almost always wins. The “great pox” strategy will leave you surrounded by much larger opponents, even though “small pox” appears too risky. The other funny thing is that it takes a while to understand this and takes a few failed games before you figure it out.

But now with google you can likely simply type in “why do I get outnumbered and defeated in this game?” and you can find the answer. Come in, Jake, stop whining and figure it out!

This gives some insight into the rest of his life— he doesn’t want to “figure out” how to succeed. He is just angry that no one tells him what he should do. Except that this isn’t true either: people are telling him what he should do, he just doesn’t want to listen to them.
 
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Jaimas said:
All right.

For the moment, I'm going to ignore that Jakey is trying to compare a video game from 1982 (which you can play here) to a game 32 years its junior, with completely different genres. I will also ignore the fact that this plays into my ongoing theory that Jakey is a dismal failure who disparages anything he cannot excel at.
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Also he's totally fucking wrong, and in a way that shows what a giant gaping pussy he is, too.

The best thing a game can do is curb stomp you, humiliate you, leave you completely baffled and angry at how it done you wrong, and force you to fucking THINK about what just happened so you can get revenge on it after you figure it out with some actual EFFORT.
 
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Tragi-Chan said:
The sort of person who'd rather be a miserable NEET living in his mother's basement than a guy with the sense of satisfaction that comes from professional accomplishment.
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Where's my "fuckin hell that's sad" forum ratings sticker :\ nool pls
 
TheIceCreamMan said:
I mean who the fuck wants to play easy games all their life anyway? I'll freely admit that I die an awful lot at roguelikes but they're still one of my favorite genres because games are like life, if I won all the time I'd stop playing and do something else
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Roguelikes are how you learn to not die. Or at least, how to cope with dying a lot. A LOT!
 
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you know that thing SGG said about waking up in a dream state and feeling the need to jam something in him (ie, about his sex drive). I always imagine SGG waking up and having a huge vagina , like huge, i imagine SGG with legs cocked up and open and ready , and it's just really big
 
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Chan the Wizard said:
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Jake actually believes “really good friends” equals a people he chatted with via IRC and DM on twitter for a year during GG hysteria.

It’s actually kind of sad because it demonstrates he’s never actually had real friends or else he would know the difference.

Also, Chelsea still doesn’t give a shit about you being butthurt. These constant pining tweets begging for her attention after two years are creepy and pathetic.
 
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Blue Jerkop said:
We're the only ones telling Jake the truth and he just isn't willing to listen *sigh*
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While it is sad, since the truth is basically that he has fucked his life beyond repair at this point I can understand why he resists it so much. What is there to gain from him accepting it now? He will remain steadfastly confused about why no one wants to be his friend the rest of his life, and he is actually safer that way.
 
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Chan the Wizard said:
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Whenever Jake talks about how mysterious and confusing his "friends" (read: people online who are easily guilt-tripped by Jake's suicide threats for a couple of months until they realize what an idiot he is) are for abandoning him, I can only think of one thing. He should hang it on his wall as a reminder:

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MirnaMinkoff said:
It’s actually kind of sad because it demonstrates he’s never actually had real friends or else he would know the difference.
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That's the weird thing though - if you go back through his old blogs he did seem to have friends at the time. Maybe even IRL ones. At some point he just suddenly forgot how to interact with humans, or be human.
 
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I've started to wonder, based on the bizarre unconnected thoughts that seem to go a mile a minute in Jake's head, the delusions about how the world works, and all the friend alienation, whether he's dealing with some sort of disorder on the psychosis spectrum. Very little sends up red flags saying "cut this friendship off" faster than someone rapidly descending into paranoid delusions.
 
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