Cooking with Kat (and DSP) thread

[harbinger]

It would be interesting to know how Phil does his shopping. Like does he read the Fred Meyer ads and look for deals? Shopping is a big deal for Full Adult Phil, does he make a list beforehand? Or is he an impulse shopper and buy what sounds good to him? Does he use a calculator while shopping to make sure he's within his super tight budget? Does he buy store brand or does he only buy more expensive name brand?

I think if we had insight into this area of Phil's life we would be able to save him a lot of money on groceries.

Read ads? He has no time, dood! He is constantly swamped with work! Make a list before hand? Look, kiddo, when you are an adult human, you will see that life comes at you fast and you cannot plan on anything, making lists is impossible. Use a calculator to make sure he’s in budget? He can’t, dood! It’s impossible to budget when you are real, adult human working a real, adult, full-time job! It can’t be done! Store brand or or name brand? Ack, ack, ack... Walmart and store brand products are for poor people, Walmart store brand doubly so. Some people... geez.

 

[Adamska]

Kat can't even grocery shop alone and buy something on sale because he goes with her every single time. Its creepy how much control over food he has to have.

She likely has to go with Pig because Pig sees going shopping as dating and social activity due to his crippling laziness and hatred and terror of dealing with other people. This may be the only time this week she sees him. Plus he's a sad manchild that wants to see the current crop of slop he'll guzzle down his throat.

I think the issue he doesn't want to leave the house by himself.

I remember when Kat was sick and DSP was stating that he would prefer that she would come with when shopping but then he said something really weird, "I could go shopping by myself.... I know what to get and I've done it before *snort*." I know after that comment he specifically mentions that he went shopping by himself when he was single. I mean of course you did Phil.

Pretty much. Pig is so scared of people that he shits himself in fear when a neighbor tells him to quiet down. He's so terrified of human interaction he stalks and watches the lawncare people or anyone working near his house he can hear because they might want to see him. He's such a pathetic and soy filled pussy that he RAN AWAY from an 11 year old girl who called him dumb, because he was such a pansy he couldn't insult her to her face.

I think a fitting title for him is the King of Cowardice tbh.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

According to Phil, Wendy's chili is made from hamburgers they drop on the floor. He knows because his cousin told him. The same cousin who has multiple arrests and a meth addiction.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Phil has confirmed that despite not having a grill, Kat and he will be having Angus beef hamburgers and French fries for 4th of July.

 

[Adamska]

Phil has confirmed that despite not having a grill, Kat and he will be having Angus beef hamburgers and French fries for 4th of July.

So pre-frozen and cooked soy/beef patties with fake grill marks and bagged fries. The latter's not the end of the world, but honestly you should never buy the former.

 

[DoubleBored]

According to Phil, Wendy's chili is made from hamburgers they drop on the floor. He knows because his cousin told him. The same cousin who has multiple arrests and a meth addiction.

This cousin is the son of the aunt with gout? that explains everything.

 

[actually]

So pre-frozen and cooked soy/beef patties with fake grill marks and bagged fries. The latter's not the end of the world, but honestly you should never buy the former.

To be fair, you can make really delicious homemade oven fries in about the same amount of time. Cut a potato into steak fries (the ones that look like planks instead of columns), parboil for ~10 minutes. Put some oil on an aluminum foil lined baking sheet and heat at 400F while the parboiled fries drain in a colander and cool for ~5 minutes. After 5 minutes, put the parboiled fries on the sheet pan and cook for 20 minutes at 400F. You can flip them halfway through to get a good crust on both sides. Season as desired immediately after pulling from the oven.

 

[millais]

Phil has confirmed that despite not having a grill, Kat and he will be having Angus beef hamburgers and French fries for 4th of July.

What happened to the anti-gout turkey burger diet?

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

This cousin is the son of the aunt with gout? that explains everything.

According to my research his cousin Melissa is not the daughter of the condo Aunt. Although both aunts are dead.

What happened to the anti-gout turkey burger diet?

Phil had Angus beef sliders on Memorial Day too so I guess on holidays it's okay to eat red meat.

 

[millais]

According to my research his cousin Melissa is not the daughter of the condo Aunt. Although both aunts are dead.


Phil had Angus beef sliders on Memorial Day too so I guess on holidays it's okay to eat red meat.

Maybe he thinks his magic cherry juice can counteract the ingestion of red meat

 

[Salubrious]

Phil has confirmed that despite not having a grill, Kat and he will be having Angus beef hamburgers and French fries for 4th of July.

I love how DSP is always crying about how poor he is, but buying a $99-$199 grill at Home Depot is below him, especially now that they are on sale for 4th of July; he can only buy a top end grill because obvious more expensive is better.

Hell, they have a charcoal grill on sale right now for $59.99.

 

[actually]

Hell, they have a charcoal grill on sale right now for $59.99.

Be real honest...do you think he actually knows how to light charcoal without soaking it in lighter fluid and hoping for the best?

 

[Salubrious]

Be real honest...do you think he actually knows how to light charcoal without soaking it in lighter fluid and hoping for the best?

I was thinking more along the lines of: "yeah, I bought the grill, but charcoal is expensive m'kay, then you have to buy lighter fluid and matches you know, so I can't afford to keep doing that, right?"

 

[DiabeticSP]

Kat banning instagram photos within 100 yards of her makes me sad. I miss pictures of phil's food. They were always the best.

 

[big ups liquid richard]

I think he has a grill, and has had one for years. He's just lying for pity donations. There's no way mr. big shot homeowner would forgo such an essential piece to his "all american male mcmansion playset"

 

[Wasted Potential]

Kat banning instagram photos within 100 yards of her makes me sad. I miss pictures of phil's food. They were always the best.

Absolutely...Poorly Cooking with the King, DSP Tries It, and his IG pictures of his food provided some of the best entertainment from Phil. Come on Phil, bring back the bugged cooking mechanics!

 

[millais]

So in the July 4 Blackgout Chillstream, he admitted that he doesn't like barbecue sauce. Yet he hungrily covets an outdoor grill.

 

[shekelshoah666]

So in the July 4 Blackgout Chillstream, he admitted that he doesn't like barbecue sauce. Yet he hungrily covets an outdoor grill.

He's gonna end up buying an $800 grill (that he uses once a year) and using ketchup to marinate everything.

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

To be fair, you can make really delicious homemade oven fries in about the same amount of time. Cut a potato into steak fries (the ones that look like planks instead of columns), parboil for ~10 minutes. Put some oil on an aluminum foil lined baking sheet and heat at 400F while the parboiled fries drain in a colander and cool for ~5 minutes. After 5 minutes, put the parboiled fries on the sheet pan and cook for 20 minutes at 400F. You can flip them halfway through to get a good crust on both sides. Season as desired immediately after pulling from the oven.

@actually I tried this today, pretty good recipe.

Normally what I do is whenever I end up baking potatoes I just throw extra on. Then I let them cool and throw em in the fridge. Well done they are amazing sliced up and fried for breakfast, and are really good when sliced as steak fries and dropped in oil for a bit.
But the oven is being sketchy lately so I tried your thing and the toaster oven. I'll def make em again

 

[Adamska]

So in the July 4 Blackgout Chillstream, he admitted that he doesn't like barbecue sauce. Yet he hungrily covets an outdoor grill.

Heh, so Pig does want the grill as another one of his Big Boy props.

He wants to fucking show it off to his tard audience and peacock and bleat that he isn't a low-T manchild who lives on hand outs, and that he is instead a Big Boy with a Big Business with Big Responsibilities, a trophy wife, and a Big Grill to make bigly man meat foods.