Cringiest Fedora "Religion?" - Because "I don't believe in God" isn't speshul enough

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Qui Vive?

  • Flying Spaghetti Monster

    Votes: 40 19.3%

  • Hail Satan!

    Votes: 30 14.5%

  • Ackshyoually I'm a Buddhist and stuff

    Votes: 14 6.8%

  • Smoke Weed Every Day

    Votes: 10 4.8%

  • *screeching in Disney IP*

    Votes: 28 13.5%

  • Chakats are real!

    Votes: 2 1.0%

  • He can't keep getting away with it hurr hurr hurr

    Votes: 3 1.4%

  • Jesus was a Socialist / of course I haven't read the Bible

    Votes: 42 20.3%

  • "I take Amon Amarth way too seriously"

    Votes: 12 5.8%

  • Implying witchcraft is real

    Votes: 26 12.6%
  • Total voters
    207
Probably a tie between euphoric atheism (the way some people treat atheism you'd think it was a religion as well with how fervently they push their non beliefs and condemn anyone that doesn't subscribe to their particular brand of thought as heretics) or LaVeyan Satanism. LeVayan Satanism has some interesting philosophies, but it's essentially just Ayn Rand's Objectivism dressed up all spoopy.
 
Evangelical Protestant Christianity (especially Southern Baptists and Pentecostals)

Blindly Pro-Israel to the point they like Israel more than America and view Jews as the superior race that nobody can criticize. The "anti-fun" religion where you go straight to hell for listening to the wrong music or for playing too much D&D. Everything they don't like about society is a satanic conspiracy to them. I live in the south so I've had the displeasure of dealing with these sort of "exceptional individuals" before
 
Son of Odin said:
Evangelical Protestant Christianity (especially Southern Baptists and Pentecostals)

Blindly Pro-Israel to the point they like Israel more than America and view Jews as the superior race that nobody can criticize. The "anti-fun" religion where you go straight to hell for listening to the wrong music or for playing too much D&D. Everything they don't like about society is a satanic conspiracy to them. I live in the south so I've had the displeasure of dealing with these sort of "exceptional individuals" before
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reread threat title pl0x
 
Secular humanism can be pretty bad. All it does is inflate egos of atheists who simply can’t just live and let live. They have to let you know how much more moral they are compared to all the theists. They unironically say that they are arbiters of logic and reason and anybody who believes in deities are inherently irrational.
 
JambledUpWords said:
Secular humanism can be pretty bad. All it does is inflate egos of atheists who simply can’t just live and let live. They have to let you know how much more moral they are compared to all the theists. They unironically say that they are arbiters of logic and reason and anybody who believes in deities are inherently irrational.
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I loathe and detest "secular humanists.". In my own experience, the people who spend the most time talking about how much empathy they have and how much they love humans in general are the slimiest, least trustworthy or honorable people.

Son of Odin said:
"Jesus was a socialist" is one of the options, so "Kentucky-fried Tele-Evangelist Jesus" should be too.
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OK I'll definitely give you that prosperity gospel is a bullshit perversion of Christianity


It's just that, other than for the multimillionaire preachers who push it, the believers are sincere. None of the options on the poll are of sincere belief systems.

Hopefully everyone understands that that "I'm Buddhist and stuff" isn't referring to actual Buddhists.
 
TheBeanz said:
Agree, real life Jedi are exceptional individuals.

Case in point
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This article is a gem among gems. Firstly, anyone who's seen the prequels would know that Jedi have extensive rules saying what they can or can't do because they're basically space monks. So, why does this guy think that Jediism doesn't have as many rules as other religions?

And of course Brit authorities say to register his lightsaber as a "religious item". First it's trying to appease minorities, and now the police are trying to appease Star Wars geeks.
 
Son of Odin said:
Evangelical Protestant Christianity (especially Southern Baptists and Pentecostals)

Blindly Pro-Israel to the point they like Israel more than America and view Jews as the superior race that nobody can criticize. The "anti-fun" religion where you go straight to hell for listening to the wrong music or for playing too much D&D. Everything they don't like about society is a satanic conspiracy to them. I live in the south so I've had the displeasure of dealing with these sort of "exceptional individuals" before
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I know good people who are Evangelicals, but Evangelicalism really messed them up:

I remember when I was talking to my friend about why he was not sure about if he could worship Jesus, and he replied that if he did he would have to dediate every single hour of his remaining life to worship. I was confused by this, asking why he couldn't just worship on sunday and merely strive to be a good person, and he replied "because then I would not be a Christain at all for not dedicating my entire life to God".

I was slightly baffled at this point, wondering why he had such an absolutist view of this before I suddenly realized this was the same confusion I had when for the first time (when I was a young child) I saw the newspaper headline say: GOD VS SCIENCE. At the time I was also baffled, because at my Catholic School there was no distiction made between Science and God, Science was just the study of God's Earth; I literally could not comprehend at that point the idea the two concepts were held by some to be mutually exclusive. And it that same momentary lack of comprehension that occured when my friend was explaining his religious upbringing to me.

I blurted out that "that idea made no fucking sense and seems set up to ensure people fail" before both me and him realized this was one of the points our upbrigings differed heavily. He basically admitted that this was something he had to workout himself and I felt resentment that my friend, who I know wants to believe in God, was raised in such way that his faith might be permanently undermined.
 
Crichax said:
This article is a gem among gems. Firstly, anyone who's seen the prequels would know that Jedi have extensive rules saying what they can or can't do because they're basically space monks. So, why does this guy think that Jediism doesn't have as many rules as other religions?

And of course Brit authorities say to register his lightsaber as a "religious item". First it's trying to appease minorities, and now the police are trying to appease Star Wars geeks.
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He has a loicsence for his loightsaber

There are a ton of sites like this in the UK, shitty little local papers that moved to the 'world wide web' and pepper their shit with popups and bollocks articles.

Also as it goes, the police probably don't give a shit because he's ultimately harmless. It's the local councils that are enabling tards like this
 
Of all the random.txt quotes I could have possibly seen while clicking this thread...

Screenshot_20190705-194004_Brave.jpg
 
Discordians. I knew someone who legally changed her name to Eris.

Anyone who takes "chaos magic" seriously.
 
I voted Buddhist because, having studied East Asian history for a while, Buddhism as a real religion is very different from Buddhism as Westerners practice it.

Western Buddhism is marketed like it's a pacifist "scientific" religion which is atheistic and liberal.

Actual Buddhism the way Asians practice it is filled with gods and demons, heavens and hells. It was a state religion in most of Asia that had militant orders which waged Buddhist jihad on their enemies, and was even a theocratic state in Tibet.

It's not exactly liberal in its values, either. It doesn't like homosex, for one. Not being as extreme as Abrahamics =/= being as tolerant as Leftism.

Then, you have the versions of Buddhism which are remarkably similar to Christianity, like how Amida Buddha is essentially just a Christ-like savior whom simply worshipping will save you.

Western fuckwads, especially Hollywood types, who practice Buddhism know absolutely nothing about it.
 
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