The "Is Kat Pregnant" speculation thread - MichaelScottShoutingNo.GIF

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
millais said:
He said it was getting too difficult to keep J2k from entering "the office" while he was streaming, since many times he would need to leave the door open for better air circulation.
Click to expand...

Doesn’t Philip know that air circulation could cause all of his electronics to freeze? The air flow could also disturb his dust insulation he keeps to protect his computers.
 
  • Like
  • DRINK!
Reactions: 74 Screaming Armadillos, Haunter, Sparkletor and 1 other person
On the shtreems where Ja$per gets to come and go from the cave, you would undoubtedly hear some screeching crotch-goblin coming from somewhere else in the barn if there were one.

But...there are a lot of odd coincidences that could point to there being a full-blooded Italian mini-human in the gout palace, assuming you try and make connections that may or may not exist.
  • Declawed cat to protect the baby? Sure, kinda makes sense. Also makes just as much sense that Phil is a vain asshole and doesn't want his shit scratched up.
  • No house tours? Yeah, we would definitely see some slip up somewhere (jug of formula in the kitchen, a pacifier on a table, avoiding the nook altogether except for a snippet where you totally see a bassinet...) and the world would know. Then again...Phil is such a beggar that he's afraid of showing the new stable toys he's had to buy to appease his trophy-pony to the masses and have the pignosis kinda wear off until some new paywhale comes along.
  • Exercise bike? I may or may not have had a significant other that may or may not have invested in a treadmill post-partum to get in some calorie burning at home while the loin-fruit napped...so it's not unheard of. Plus, she strikes me as such a bland person that she'd get on the bike, pedal at a slow pace while she reads Kiwifarms on her phone for 20 minutes and thinks she just ran the Tour de France. Of course...Someone else pointed out that once Panda got a taste of the outside world and the Jim, it was all downhill. "Ok, Khet... If you want to keep getting showered with *snort* gifts and stuff, you gotta stop going to the Jim, okay? We'll save money this way and you'll get more stuff, seewhatImean? My mahm will just buy you a bike. We'll tell her it's an expensive one, but we'll just get some el-cheapo one and pocket the rest."
Phil would TOTALLY whore out some kid to get pitybux all the time. Of course, we still have the upcoming hardcore tax season this November where a new Burnell might make an appearance. "I've got this taxes and, man, diapers aren't cheap. LEMME TELL YOU, diapers...are not...cheap. Gimme your money."
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • DRINK!
Reactions: AnonymousDimwit, 74 Screaming Armadillos, Haunter and 1 other person
Schmeckel said:
On the shtreems where Ja$per gets to come and go from the cave, you would undoubtedly hear some screeching crotch-goblin coming from somewhere else in the barn if there were one.

But...there are a lot of odd coincidences that could point to there being a full-blooded Italian mini-human in the gout palace, assuming you try and make connections that may or may not exist.
  • Declawed cat to protect the baby? Sure, kinda makes sense. Also makes just as much sense that Phil is a vain asshole and doesn't want his shit scratched up.
  • No house tours? Yeah, we would definitely see some slip up somewhere (jug of formula in the kitchen, a pacifier on a table, avoiding the nook altogether except for a snippet where you totally see a bassinet...) and the world would know. Then again...Phil is such a beggar that he's afraid of showing the new stable toys he's had to buy to appease his trophy-pony to the masses and have the pignosis kinda wear off until some new paywhale comes along.
  • Exercise bike? I may or may not have had a significant other that may or may not have invested in a treadmill post-partum to get in some calorie burning at home while the loin-fruit napped...so it's not unheard of. Plus, she strikes me as such a bland person that she'd get on the bike, pedal at a slow pace while she reads Kiwifarms on her phone for 20 minutes and thinks she just ran the Tour de France. Of course...Someone else pointed out that once Panda got a taste of the outside world and the Jim, it was all downhill. "Ok, Khet... If you want to keep getting showered with *snort* gifts and stuff, you gotta stop going to the Jim, okay? We'll save money this way and you'll get more stuff, seewhatImean? My mahm will just buy you a bike. We'll tell her it's an expensive one, but we'll just get some el-cheapo one and pocket the rest."
Phil would TOTALLY whore out some kid to get pitybux all the time. Of course, we still have the upcoming hardcore tax season this November where a new Burnell might make an appearance. "I've got this taxes and, man, diapers aren't cheap. LEMME TELL YOU, diapers...are not...cheap. Gimme your money."
Click to expand...
The ace in the sleeve is the "they're attacking my son" scenario. You know that child will be the biggest victim of cyberbullying that's ever been born. Take the 'they call my wife Khet names' and amp it up to 100. But I definitely think he won't have a child any time soon.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Daktaklakpak
No way.

This man can't be fucked to take the 15 minutes it would take to shower and get dressed before he goes to "work" in his "office". He's such a spoiled manbaby that he falls apart the moment his mother or suitably naive/dull surrogate leaves his life, I think a baby would do his head in as he's never had any kind of responsibilities. Can you imagine Phil peeling his unwashed, gin infused ass off the couch to go feed his wailing child at 3AM without having a mental break on stream after a week of that shit?

Unless Kat quit her job to take care of the kid full time while the pig sleeps on with ear plugs, Phil'd lose his mind. Even then the begging would be off the charts and since it has been fairly steady, I'm pressing X to doubt.

For now I'll ignore the possibility that he asked his folks to sell their house so he could raise their only grand child or otherwise finessed a huge payout from somewhere else, or the question if Kat and DSP are even in a sexual relationship rather than platonic life partners.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Nurse Ratchet and Nina Hagen
There's absolutely no way Phil would pass up the many months between finding out Khet was preggers and the baby being born to beg for money. It's the last great begging opportunity he has that is guaranteed to work.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MisterTalentMan
strandedcastaway said:
There's absolutely no way Phil would pass up the many months between finding out Khet was preggers and the baby being born to beg for money. It's the last great begging opportunity he has that is guaranteed to work.
Click to expand...
To be fair, he always staggers his crises so there's minimal overlap. If there IS something like that going on behind the scenes, he's trying to "ride high" (tee hee, horse pun) on the Hardcore Begging Season while teasing the stuff he's got going on behind the scenes that he doesn't want to trouble anyone with yet. Once Thanksgiving starts to get close, he'll MAYBE touch on this taxes and see if the needle moves in the shtreem for interaction$. Once that dries up or fails to launch entirely, he will drop the bomb of whatever is going on behind the scenes that is his next hurdle to save the house. Is it a kid? It might be. Or at the least a pregnant filly...

Linky linky

Stationary Cycle

If you have access to a stationary cycle, you should be putting that thing to use. Riding a bike is a great cardio workout and really helps keep you fit. However, riding a real bike during pregnancy can be quite tricky due to balance issues. Therefore, a stationary bicycle is the perfect option.

While riding your stationary bike, consider listening to some music or watching your favorite TV show to pass the time more quickly. Before you know it, your workout will be over and you'll be feeling much more energetic.

As stated before, exercising during pregnancy is a crucial part of keeping you and your baby healthy. Therefore, unless your care provider has stated otherwise, you are going to want to pick a few of your favorites from this list and get moving. Consult with your doctor to make sure what you can and cannot be doing.

I doubt that she's pregnant, but I wouldn't be THAT surprised.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 74 Screaming Armadillos
Sparkletor said:
I talked to a fertility specialist and he said it is highly improbable that spermazoa could get from the love seat in Phil's office and travel to Kat's office and enter her snatch.
Click to expand...
It has been a few months since he last updated us on their sleeping arrangements, but as far as we know, she could still be sleeping on the fireside couch while he sleeps in the large bed upstairs.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sparkletor
Sparkletor said:
I talked to a fertility specialist and he said it is highly improbable that spermazoa could get from the love seat in Phil's office and travel to Kat's office and enter her snatch.
Click to expand...
I talked to a Phil specialist and he said it's highly improbable that any of the... emissions absorbed by the love seat contained any viable sperm to begin with.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Stationary aszs, Nurse Ratchet, 74 Screaming Armadillos and 1 other person
Just saying, the whole "people would have heard a baby" thing is wrong. We couldn't hear Kat standing in the doorway talking at a speaking volume, and years ago we could barely hear occasionally words from Leanna in the same spot. I would be very surprised if you can hear a crying baby downstairs on his microphone.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Like
Reactions: Haunter and ZehnBoat
I very much doubt shes pregnant. She would have to be fairly well along by this point and I can't see an exercise bike being good for the baby (unless Dark is the physician giving that advice ack ack ack)
 
  • Like
Reactions: MoonRocker
Unpopular opinion incoming, but if Phil can get his wheelchairs to pay for another man's baby that they aren't even friends with, on top of them already paying for every single other thing he "needs" (wants) in his life, then it's time we start respecting his game.

What game is it exactly? Who knows. We do know the game leads you to being a reclusive shut in who is afraid of social interaction, but still, he's definitely beating us at it. He's the best in the world at what he does, but like Olympic curling, it's equally embarrassing and not something you should ever want to be the best at.
 
  • Informative
  • DRINK!
  • Agree
Reactions: Stationary aszs, Haunter and AnonymousDimwit
SoapQueen1 said:
Just saying, the whole "people would have heard a baby" thing is wrong. We couldn't hear Kat standing in the doorway talking at a speaking volume, and years ago we could barely hear occasionally words from Leanna in the same spot. I would be very surprised if you can hear a crying baby downstairs on his microphone.
Click to expand...

She didn't necessarily have to say anything, though. Phil was expecting whatever was going on, so she would just have to poke her head in, he says "They're here now?", she nods yes, and that's all it takes. As I recall, someone (Tevin?) actually heard Jasper's bell before the $2k reveal.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Raven'sChild, Daktaklakpak and Haunter
What if it was a baby shower that they were having yesterday and that is why he didnt do a second stream?
Usually baby showers are 4-6 weeks before the birth. So if she has a shower in October then the baby might be born in mid or late November. Now this would mean Kat got pregnant in February. Maybe during their yearly cross species mating on Valentine's Day they went hog wild and she got pregnant. I wouldnt be surprised if she poked some holes in a condom so she can have a kid. Especially since Phil has stated he doesnt want to have a kid on so she had to trick him.

This also fits with the idea that Kat was at least 2 months pregnant during the wedding, hence her little bump in the wedding picture. Now this would make sense why the Pigroach got married. His parents or himself didnt want the baby to be a born from unwedded parents as that is frowned upon in churches. Plus the Pigroach probaby had that engrained in his head that a child out of wedlock is bad (imagine if he had a kid not married, every troll would call his kid a bastard lol).

Now about the exercise bike, well it was probably some baby equipement, most likely a crib. It would make sense why Dave couldnt dissemble it as that would be slighty more difficult to break down than a bike. Esepcially since most bikes are simple screws at a couple of parts and thats it, so it was weird that he couldnt undo that even for Dave. But a crib being defective then Dave not wanting to break it down due to being more complex, i can see him being lazy for that.
 
Perpetual Outrage said:
What game is it exactly? Who knows. We do know the game leads you to being a reclusive shut in who is afraid of social interaction, but still, he's definitely beating us at it. He's the best in the world at what he does, but like Olympic curling, it's equally embarrassing and not something you should ever want to be the best at.
Click to expand...

At that point Phil is low-key the most sucessful cult leader in the US.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Perpetual Outrage
DukeMorty said:
Now about the exercise bike, well it was probably some baby equipement, most likely a crib. It would make sense why Dave couldnt dissemble it as that would be slighty more difficult to break down than a bike. Esepcially since most bikes are simple screws at a couple of parts and thats it, so it was weird that he couldnt undo that even for Dave. But a crib being defective then Dave not wanting to break it down due to being more complex, i can see him being lazy for that.
Click to expand...
You're reaching a bit on point. I don't know what kind of cribs you're assembling but the process isn't that complex. My guess is that he either threw away/destroyed the packaging to the bike or just didnt want to bother with disassembling and repackaging it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back