DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Radical Goodspeed]

All the video games he buys are a business expense, so they are effectively all free

Pressing X to doubt on the legality, but not that Phil wouldn't try.

IIRC, Onion-Boy, who also lives near Phil, took this approach, writing off everything as part of his YT business, and the IRS did not accept. That ended up being the tamest of his still-snowballing legal troubles, which bodes well for us.

 

[Noob-Noob]

Just wanted to share another god-tier tweet from JS.

PS: Santa, if you read this thread, all I want for Christmas is a photoshop of greasy Papa John as Phil but talking about all the potatoes he's had to eat.

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

I call bullshit on Dave declaring all this shit on his taxes. To declare it, you need to have every single receipt, and he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would remember where he left them

 

[Kosher Dill]

To declare it, you need to have every single receipt, and he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would remember where he left them

He does claim to keep receipts. Part of why he "needs" an expensive tax attorney (or whatever) is because he just dumps a huge box of receipts on the guy and says "Go".

 

[Pargon]

He does claim to keep receipts. Part of why he "needs" an expensive tax attorney (or whatever) is because he just dumps a huge box of receipts on the guy and says "Go".

It's pretty easy to keep receipts for everything if you buy as much as you can on the internet. It's called, "never delete any emails ever". May go to explain why checking his inbox is such an ordeal for him.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

Sorry if this got posted but I ain’t seeing it in any of the threads(I didn’t look very far to be fair) but it needs to be seen....Happy Holidays you mentally ill nudniks

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Sorry if this got posted but I ain’t seeing it in any of the threads(I didn’t look very far to be fair) but it needs to be seen....Happy Holidays you mentally ill nudniks

Fan art needs to step it up and add some jowls to the equation. I personally cannot see it because of his shit quality camera, but maybe a slight stroke face.

 

[Salubrious]

Tevin is doing an Amberlynn stream right now.

Someone cheered and said that Amberlynn actually gets more activity than DSP does (at least until she becomes bedbound) and it hit me just how little DSP actually does every day. Like I knew, but I never thought of it that way. DSP is less active than a 600 pound person.

 

[Pargon]

Tevin is doing an Amberlynn stream right now.

Someone cheered and said that Amberlynn actually gets more activity than DSP does (at least until she becomes bedbound) and it hit me just how little DSP actually does every day. Like I knew, but I never thought of it that way. DSP is less active than a 600 pound person.

He must burn a ton of calories doing all that masturbating to gay porn that he does.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Tevin is doing an Amberlynn stream right now.

Someone cheered and said that Amberlynn actually gets more activity than DSP does (at least until she becomes bedbound) and it hit me just how little DSP actually does every day. Like I knew, but I never thought of it that way. DSP is less active than a 600 pound person.

There's no question Amber does more lately. Every day she makes a meal, goes shopping to The Wommart every single day, has ""friends"" that she goes out to eat with, plans lame parties. Phil's activities are going shopping every week and bitches about how hard that is, and making shitty Authentico Italiano sauce occasionally.

 

[DSPGouting]

); and saying Khet is an employee when she's not is clearly illegal but pointless because their household income wouldn't change so I don't see why he'd do that.

AHCKTCHULLY

IF he employed kat in his business and gave her a salary that is just under the income tax threshold (no clue what it is in the US sorry) let’s say for arguments sake $14,000 per year.

That’s 14k that comes out of the business - isn’t taxed at all - and then lands in kats bank account ( in other words Dave’s fat greasy cuntish hands but it’s again tax free).

This is a super common practice in small businesses. I worked for a guy who’s bimbo dumb fuck gold digger wife was the company treasurer (she couldn’t even use a calculated irl).

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

AHCKTCHULLY

IF he employed kat in his business and gave her a salary that is just under the income tax threshold (no clue what it is in the US sorry) let’s say for arguments sake $14,000 per year.

That’s 14k that comes out of the business - isn’t taxed at all - and then lands in kats bank account ( in other words Dave’s fat greasy cuntish hands but it’s again tax free).

This is a super common practice in small businesses. I worked for a guy who’s bimbo dumb fuck gold digger wife was the company treasurer (she couldn’t even use a calculated irl).

I know, right? Except Dave is a Sole-Proprietorship. Which means he can't do that. But even better, by being SP he's literally fucking himself because money he gets is taxed twice. Once when it enters the business (his B&O tax) and then again when he pays himself.
If he went with a single person LLC, he'd only be taxed once, on his income.

 

[Sparkletor]

He must burn a ton of calories doing all that masturbating to gay porn that he does.

"Umm, so detractors are now saying I masturbate to gay porn! How stupid can you get, seriously. I was masturbating to WWE. DEBUNKED"

 

[actually]

He must burn a ton of calories doing all that masturbating to gay porn that he does.

Can you do HIIT training 1 minute at a time with a 2 hour refractory period?

 

[Toilet Man]

I wonder how he fits masturbation into his extremely busy and "smashmouth" schedule. Truly a god at time management.

 

[GnomeofDoc]

Sorry if this got posted but I ain’t seeing it in any of the threads(I didn’t look very far to be fair) but it needs to be seen....Happy Holidays you mentally ill nudniks

Nigga got them cum gutters. Good to see Phil is hitting the gym. Thanks for listening to us

Can you do HIIT training 1 minute at a time with a 2 hour refractory period?

Could just do some EXTREME edging.

 

[Adamska]

If we're really talking about Pig's "abilities", remember he failed to cum when he filmed on camera.

He struggles to get it up.

 

[N0thingICanDo]

If we're really talking about Pig's "abilities", remember he failed to cum when he filmed on camera.

He struggles to get it up.

"How is that my fault that it didnt get up????

I was HOLDING IT DOWNBACK like how I hold my joystick for SFV and nothing happened, everything lags doooood"

*WET SNOOOOOOOOORRRTT*

 

[UncleTusky]

I wrote an homage to "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" featuring everyone's favorite Pigroach to get us in the holiday/autism spirit. Not a parody of the entire story, just enough to get it out of my system.

Spoiler: With Apologies to Dr. Seuss - Part 1

Every Kiwi in CWCville loved Christmas a lot
But Phil, who lives way up north in Renton, did not
The Pig hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be, perhaps, that his money was tight
It could be he knew, deep down, we were right!

But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his Khet was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, as he ate his mashed taters,
He stayed put Christmas Eve, loathing the haters

Staring from the WAKhando with a sour Pig frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town,

For he knew every Kiwi in CWCville of course
Was busy shitposting since he'd married a horse

He gnawed on his finger as a black man drew near,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, as he dug in his ear with a finger
"I have to stop Tevin! These restreams can't linger!"

Then Pig hit his tip goal (to the Kiwis' dismay)
And for Christmas thought he'd treat Khet to some hay!

"I took care of it dude, It's a business move, duh!".
"I'll just not stream on Christmas.... oh, camera's on, huh?"

Spoiler: With Apologies to Dr. Seuss - Part 2

It was quarter of noon, Phil awoke from his gin
With no restream on YT, surely he would win!

ACKED it up with his plushies, his sweaters, his dolls
"Action figures dood, my mom got them at malls!"

"Kiwi Farms stalked me!" he yelled, with no restream out
"They're still pushing the slanderous lie I have gout!"

He fumed and he fumed, and with Soulmare seeing ghosts
Pig checked Kiwi himself to confirm-no new posts!

He turned on his lemon, and Ask Jeeves'd his thread
Though as he kept reading his joy turned quickly to dread

Every Kiwi in CWCVille, all proudly autistic
Still mocked his sad life-Jesus Christ we're sadistic!

And the Pig, with his other Khando in default
Stood deeply confused, "WUUUUT? How is this my fault?"

"It came without ragequits! It came without 'fags'!
It came without death threats, 'dropped inputs"' or 'lags'!"
His chat spammed bits and spammed, till his paypigs were sore
Then PlanetJeff told Phil something he hadn't before
"Maybe findom", he said "shouldn't be part of my life"
"Maybe findom, perhaps, won't bring back my dead wife"

And what happened then, well in Renton they say
That DarkSydePhil's ego grew three sizes that day
And then, the true meaning of Christmas came through
And Khet's gunt grew the size of 10 tendies, plus two!

.....God have mercy on my soul.

 

[Mooty Mooty Mooty]

Deep down I think Dr Seuss would love the contemporary take.

Merry Christmas, and a holly jolly ack to you all. Old saint Phillip has made his rounds to all the lucky paypigs in Renton, taking a toxic dump in their toilets, hoovering up their pocket money, and leaving empty video game cases in KFC bags under the tree.

And luckiest of all is Jasper, the cat got what it always wanted, a metal statue of a paw that is sure to bring great joy and entertainment and keep it occupied while the Darksydes watch Disney+ and eat potatoes from dawn till dusk.