DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[James Smith]

He's cooped up in his office all day. Except that he's not. He can and does open windows.

I'm pretty sure he could do boomer segments from his phone straight to the OBS setup in his living room with the Streamlabs app on his phone with like two mouse clicks. In other words he could literally sit outside and sip some gin and Sprite or whatever while talking to his chat for 30-60 minutes at the end of the day.

 

[Adamska]

According to Google maps, Fred Meyer is 0.6 miles away

Then he has no excuse beyond laziness for why he can't do anything else that day by shopping. Shopping is only a bit of a hassle if you have to go to two or three stores, and have a trunk full of shit you need to unload.

 

[Sparkletor]

Time for some DEBUNKING!

May 22, 2014 version of the story. So a guy was swerving in front of Phil and cut him off and Phil swerved to avoid hitting him and crashed his car.

July 28, 2019 version of the story. Phil was driving normally in the incorrect lane when a maniac came speeding up behind him at 100mph. Phil swerved his car into the guardrail and bounced across the highway 3 or 4 times and smashed into a concrete wall.

Hmm... Almost like both these stories cannot be true at the same time and Phil is a liar.

 

[Pargon]

Then he has no excuse beyond laziness for why he can't do anything else that day by shopping. Shopping is only a bit of a hassle if you have to go to two or three stores, and have a trunk full of shit you need to unload.

I think you've roundabout hit the nail on the head because I think we all know deep down that when Phil Burnell goes "shopping" he doesn't just go to one store. It's almost a given that he's riding his mare all over town buying (or at least gawping at) every shiny thing his heart desires.

Also, to link to something I read in the foreclosure thread which I think is applicable here, let's remember Phil's Golden Rule:

"I don't wanna, so I'm not gonna."

If Phil ever, ever bitches about anything but winds up doing it anyway, he has an internal motivation which is overriding his laziness. He stopped paying a mortgage simply because he didn't want to pay it anymore. He doesn't change the lightbulbs in his beloved "office". He wouldn't go with Leanna to her brother's wedding. If the impetus to act is not strong enough (money, losing the Wakahndo, not having turkey burgers), Phil will not act. This includes shopping. Phil's not getting goaded into going out every week no matter how much he complains about it; he loves being a good little consumer and the dopamine hits buying things gives him.

 

[Pepper Jack]

I didn't see anyone bring it up in the prestream talk, but there is one egregious element of the prestream that demonstrates Phil's real aims with his prestream, and demonstrates his signature 'beggar creep' tactic - the 20 minute bathroom break at the end of it.

This started earlier this year where Phil would occasionally take a bathroom break at the end of prestream. It was usually an emergency that crept up on him. Of course, the truth was that it was a stall tactic that Phil would bust out when he either was lower than usual on contributions before starting gameplay, OR he had extra viewers. It was like clockwork.

At some point in the fall, Phil started doing this religiously, and the length of the break has been creeping longer and longer to the point that we've hit 20 minutes. Unlike his stream breaks, he doesn't even bother to play music - it's just a straight dead air after over an hour of talking without gameplay.

But it's less than an hour into the stream - if Phil pissed before the stream, there is no way he should have to go again unless he has incontinence issues (possible). He also used to make it quick and is now obviously dragging it out with the aim of baiting a few more tips. Somehow, this moved from 'sometimes' to 'it's time for my bathroom break' without anyone really calling out this obvious stall tactic. I have NEVER seen another streamer do this outside of an emergency, and when people complain about the long prestreams, he has built in a 20 minute stall that he could easily rectify if he just went before the stream. But if you bring it up, I'm sure it's because you want his bladder to explode and him to SUFFER, but he's just a HUMAN and his fans understand, just like a battered wife.

But it's just like the whoreboard that was never supposed to be present for new or narrative-based games. And then suddenly, one day... it just never left. Or the tip 'goals' that were never allowed to be for nothing... and then suddenly became a stream-specific target explicitly for nothing. The beg creep is real.

The bathroom break is a stall tactic to get as close to noon PST as he can before he begins gameplay. He wants to play the game for exactly 4 hours because this isn't a JAHB it is his hobby and he loves playing vidya.

 

[N0thingICanDo]

Time for some DEBUNKING!

May 22, 2014 version of the story. So a guy was swerving in front of Phil and cut him off and Phil swerved to avoid hitting him and crashed his car.

July 28, 2019 version of the story. Phil was driving normally in the incorrect lane when a maniac came speeding up behind him at 100mph. Phil swerved his car into the guardrail and bounced across the highway 3 or 4 times and smashed into a concrete wall.

Hmm... Almost like both these stories cannot be true at the same time and Phil is a liar.

Lucky for us, the whole incident was captured on phil's dash camera and was sent to the local traffic office

Here's are the full footage of what actually happened.............

 

[tomstone]

just saw this on twitter. petition to remove the pigroach from twitch. https://www.change.org/p/brian-ruben-the-removal-of-darksydephil-from-twitch-tv
dont think twitch will care but worth a shot.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink]

Time for some DEBUNKING!

May 22, 2014 version of the story. So a guy was swerving in front of Phil and cut him off and Phil swerved to avoid hitting him and crashed his car.

July 28, 2019 version of the story. Phil was driving normally in the incorrect lane when a maniac came speeding up behind him at 100mph. Phil swerved his car into the guardrail and bounced across the highway 3 or 4 times and smashed into a concrete wall.

Hmm... Almost like both these stories cannot be true at the same time and Phil is a liar.

At some point he also claimed he wasn’t sure how he messed up his back, and there’s some football incident that messed it up. It’s almost incredible how many stories he’s actively lied about involving his back and this car accident

 

[Army Burger]

just saw this on twitter. petition to remove the pigroach from twitch. https://www.change.org/p/brian-ruben-the-removal-of-darksydephil-from-twitch-tv
dont think twitch will care but worth a shot.

Nigger, shitty change.org petitions aren't going to do anything. Just sit back and enjoy the show,

 

[Banned in 49 States]

Time for some DEBUNKING!

May 22, 2014 version of the story. So a guy was swerving in front of Phil and cut him off and Phil swerved to avoid hitting him and crashed his car.

July 28, 2019 version of the story. Phil was driving normally in the incorrect lane when a maniac came speeding up behind him at 100mph. Phil swerved his car into the guardrail and bounced across the highway 3 or 4 times and smashed into a concrete wall.

Hmm... Almost like both these stories cannot be true at the same time and Phil is a liar.

I can totally belive that tunnel vision Phill driving way below the speed limit and getting spooked when someone is about to pass him causes him to crash.

Bad eyesight and afraid of everyone is not a good mix on the road.

 

[Pargon]

just saw this on twitter. petition to remove the pigroach from twitch. https://www.change.org/p/brian-ruben-the-removal-of-darksydephil-from-twitch-tv
dont think twitch will care but worth a shot.

This is stupid.

A server crash would somehow not prevent DSP from streaming on Twitch.

 

[BallBuster]

just saw this on twitter. petition to remove the pigroach from twitch. https://www.change.org/p/brian-ruben-the-removal-of-darksydephil-from-twitch-tv
dont think twitch will care but worth a shot.

This might be the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. All this person is doing is painting a target on his back to be ridiculed.

 

[Dragoonism]

To all you autistic criminals on here!

Let's all have a positive 2020, where we all help Phil out of his financial problems so he can go back to making fun and interactive content!

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

If his gameplay of racing games is indicative of how he drives IRL we can say he drives like Hans Moleman ,firstly he needs glasses but doesn't wear them because he is mentally 13 and believes it makes you cool to not see properly,and secondly I would not be surprised if one of his many psychological issues manifest themselves in him being a shit driver with tunnel vision,most likely his narcissism and laziness.

Im watching The 0utsyder TIHYDP of need for speed right now and he drives like in that simpson episode where homer grabbed the venus jelly statue from the nanny ass and homer is watching the reenactment "homer : portrait of an ass-grabber" and the actor acting as homer is driving from side to side hitting all the parking meters and runs over a cat.
Kat :- No Phil,Jasper is a living creature!.
Phil :- I don't care,he bites my cables *runs him over*.

"What!? You have to be joking how was that my fault?":
View attachment 1075970

There's reckless driving Phil then you go see his "redemption" or "second/third/fourth playthrough" of GTA 4 and it's the polar opposite. He always fails to find that happy sweet spot and goes for both extremes. Driving 10 mph under the speed limit is just as bad as speeding in my opinion.

 

[WeeblesWobble]

May 22, 2014 version of the story. So a guy was swerving in front of Phil and cut him off and Phil swerved to avoid hitting him and crashed his car.

July 28, 2019 version of the story. Phil was driving normally in the incorrect lane when a maniac came speeding up behind him at 100mph. Phil swerved his car into the guardrail and bounced across the highway 3 or 4 times and smashed into a concrete wall.

Hmm... Almost like both these stories cannot be true at the same time and Phil is a liar.

I like the quote for his mom.

"Fuck this, if you're going to make life about you and not about me anymore, I don't care."
Well, it is HER life and you are HER child living in HER house. She told you not to do something, you did, and you totaled your car and ended up in the hospital. You really showed her Phil.

 

[Surly Muppet]

Never forget one of the biggest debunks for one of the longest running, most immature lies the pig has constructed.

The Hate Live podcast where Phil specifically explains how his glasses help him see a screen a few feet away and how blind he is without them. One of my favorite lies because this isn't a retconned story with the same structure or strategically omitted details to semantically weasel around later... he was honest before he knew he would want to lie. So this is just a total night and day where he HAS to be lying, be it then or now, for absolutely no reason.

Phil is currently complaining on stream about people 'walking around pointing' at the mall, and he identified them as tourists who were here visiting families, so it was packed. This from a guy who vlogged his trips to every one of Seattle's tourist hotspots. Also, I'm confused as to why we're grocery shopping at the mall? Philip? Were you... were you there purchasing baubles that were not disclosed in your begging? I recall being told it was for bills and groceries.

I maintain he refers to credit card bills, which is his semantic dodge for the fact that Kat wanted a second $200 Simple Human garbage can because Leanna touched the last one.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

You have to understand that Phil, the former bodybuilder jock Chad Thundercock, has to give his nerd viewers a hard time.

 

[Pargon]

You have to understand that Phil, the former bodybuilder jock Chad Thundercock, has to give his nerd viewers a hard time.

He is without doubt the lowest-t, most posturing, biggest faggot (and I mean that in both the literal and pejorative senses) that I have ever seen. You could not write a better example of a closet case with a team of authors and a year to do it.

 

[Surly Muppet]

For all you fighting game fans, Phil announced he is dropping SF Anniversary Collection after this week. Apparently he can't get matches and everyone that he encounters are scrubs or the matches are bad. Friendly reminder that he quit 30 minutes early when AJ turned up in the lobby last week.

I also just want to point out - he could play SF4. I believe Phil preordered the collection which means it came with a PS4 download code for SF4, the last SF game that Phil flirted with playing at a competitive level. I believe he has claimed the game is dead, but it's not - certainly no more than the rest of the anniversary collection. But he hasn't even tried it.

The only reason that I can think of for this is that he knows the game is less dead than the others, and it is likely populated by experienced players who will legitimately slaughter him. Meanwhile, Phil can't hide behind his 'I suck' excuse like he does with SFA3 because he should know SF4. Of the games available to him, SF4 is probably second to SF2 for the game that he is most 'competent' with, and he should have a version readily available on the PS4... yet it doesn't exist to him.

You have to understand that Phil, the former bodybuilder jock Chad Thundercock, has to give his nerd viewers a hard time.

Speaking of, he just preemptively mocked the Wheelchair Army regarding the Viewer's Choice playthrough. It has to be a game that has 'a definitive end' and cannot be multiplayer. He's 'not doing that shit' and he doesn't want to hear (troll voice) 'oh, Phil didn't follow through on his promises!' Positive way to kick off an event - you don't just give them the rules, you talk down to them while you do it.

And that's never happened before, of course. When it did, it was the fault of the fans making bad requests.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Phil's line up of games is atrocious. Three RPGS about to be going through his cycle(KOTOR, FF6, Pokemon). Unbelievable. Is he trying to have the most boring content with games that require the least amount of effort to play? Let's not forgot about Minecraft and Roblox being put in the mix along with Myst, that should have been completed in one stream.

Despite his viewers choice having an option but not to pick open ended games, and they must be story driven, despite saying KOTOR was boring as shit and has Sandbox games in collection. Now he's dropping ST because his enjoyment of the game shifts depending on if he's bodying scrubs or getting fucked by AJ.

It's going to be a snoozefest for a few months.