Dax Herrera / Dick Masterson / Daxipad / Juju The Cow / Wolfie / The Dick Show (TDS), The Biggest Problem in the Universe (TBPITU) / New Project 2 - Balding least funny contrarian paedophile defender in the universe, "women are fat" jokes virtuoso, e-daddy of Sektards, chaser and cross-species roleplay sodomy enthusiast. Roleplays as a cow named Juju while he gets fucked in the anus by women. Fat.

[Sped Xing]

I didn't know Cripple Jesus had long hair

 

[polonium]

I didn't know Cripple Jesus had long hair

I always thought he was in a motorised chair.

 

[Sped Xing]

If he lies about fucking a hooker, how do we know he's even really crippled?


If anyone got that far in, tell me I'm wrong in thinking that story was full of holes and sounded like he was making it up live?

"Uh she uh. I told her 'bitch you better suck my cock good' so she put the condom on and I was starting to get hard, uh, and then I came twice, uh yeah any of this sounds physically plausible right?"

 

[BIG_BRAD]

Is Dick fuxking some unfunny chick in charge of the show now?

No, but I've seen a lot of people speculating lately that Dick wants to or has fucked MintSalad, his producer's girlfriend. It's a pretty open secret by now that Dick and 80s Girl are into threesomes and have been part of poly relationships in the past, and this wouldn't even be the first fangirl they've brought into their bedroom (Jamie Lynn Hughes https://pastebin.com/LKtHxq6P). It would certainly explain Dick's defensiveness on reddit and his meltdown at Had, especially how angry he seemed to get when her age was mentioned.
There's also this strange photo Mint posted on her twitter of her legs up over Dick's balcony, a supposed "meme" among the girls who spend time at Dick's house.

Other TDS artists have even started to talk about how weird the whole situation is getting. According to the one that draws the titty Sonics, Dick gets awfully chatty whenever Mint or HeheSilly comes online in the TDS artists server

Speaking of Mintsalad, in the spergout clip I posted earlier, Dick claims to have been approached by Mint to call in about her parents' emails, but I seem to remember him replying to her tweet about it (without having tagged him) with 'LOL, you should call in'. I went back to get the screencap, but noticed that Dick deletes his old tweets now. How long has he been doing this?

Pardon the jumbled discord autism, but it's just to give a general sense of the degeneracy we're talking. And yes, Mint made her own hate thread on reddit (under the name /u/ChalkOrange) for attention, which she later deleted.

Mint's a fucking dumbass

Dedicated to the podcast by Dick Masterson, The Dick Show.

old.reddit.com

I don't know if all this is true (personally I'm leaning towards "no" just because she's such a butterface), but Dick certainly isn't doing himself any favors lashing out at people who criticize him over his handling of Mint and Riley.

 

[Tookie]

If he lies about fucking a hooker, how do we know he's even really crippled?


If anyone got that far in, tell me I'm wrong in thinking that story was full of holes and sounded like he was making it up live?

"Uh she uh. I told her 'bitch you better suck my cock good' so she put the condom on and I was starting to get hard, uh, and then I came twice, uh yeah any of this sounds physically plausible right?"

 

[RatedTardSuperstar]

If he lies about fucking a hooker, how do we know he's even really crippled?


If anyone got that far in, tell me I'm wrong in thinking that story was full of holes and sounded like he was making it up live?

"Uh she uh. I told her 'bitch you better suck my cock good' so she put the condom on and I was starting to get hard, uh, and then I came twice, uh yeah any of this sounds physically plausible right?"

I can't find the picture of it but didn't he get picked up and carried up a set of stairs at Road Rage Minneapolis? It's been a while.

 

[Sped Xing]

I have no idea. What's the relevance?


EDIT: Oh, as in he's too crippled to have done the stuff in his story? Maybe, but my point was things like

Putting a condom on a limp dick

Cumming in a condom and staying hard afterward

The condom not somehow coming off in the time needed to cum again

This isn't how condoms or dicks work

 

[polonium]

I have no idea. What's the relevance?


EDIT: Oh, as in he's too crippled to have done the stuff in his story? Maybe, but my point was things like

Putting a condom on a limp dick

Cumming in a condom and staying hard afterward

The condom not somehow coming off in the time needed to cum again

This isn't how condoms or dicks work

So basically this is "bags of sand - cripple version". His story about bullying his nurse with fat jokes until she quit had a huge whiff of bullshit about it too so it wouldn't be the first time he's called in with obviously made up stories to make himself sound less pathetic. It wouldn't be so bad if they were entertaining stories, but they don't even have that going for them.

 

[Polyboros2]

I have no idea. What's the relevance?


EDIT: Oh, as in he's too crippled to have done the stuff in his story? Maybe, but my point was things like

Putting a condom on a limp dick

Cumming in a condom and staying hard afterward

The condom not somehow coming off in the time needed to cum again

This isn't how condoms or dicks work

The only one of those that is true is getting a condom on a flaccid dick, but I definitely have done it on a semichub which sounds like the situation with Cripple Jesus. The others have definitely not been a problem for me (or at least never 100% true, like I'm sure I've had a condom run up at some point)

Not too say I disagree with the truth of the story, I personally never questioned it because it was so boring.

 

[frozenrunner]

I have no idea. What's the relevance?


EDIT: Oh, as in he's too crippled to have done the stuff in his story? Maybe, but my point was things like

Putting a condom on a limp dick

Cumming in a condom and staying hard afterward

The condom not somehow coming off in the time needed to cum again

This isn't how condoms or dicks work

The only part of that I don't buy at all is finishing in a condom and it not coming off while he's fucking again. Unless he has a hair trigger and came again instantly, that's pure nonsense. (Or unless the condoms were way too big, etc.)

I don't want Crippled Jesus to be a fraud who lies about his life to make himself feel better

No, but I've seen a lot of people speculating lately that Dick wants to or has fucked MintSalad, his producer's girlfriend. It's a pretty open secret by now that Dick and 80s Girl are into threesomes and have been part of poly relationships in the past, and this wouldn't even be the first fangirl they've brought into their bedroom (Jamie Lynn Hughes https://pastebin.com/LKtHxq6P). It would certainly explain Dick's defensiveness on reddit and his meltdown at Had, especially how angry he seemed to get when her age was mentioned.
There's also this strange photo Mint posted on her twitter of her legs up over Dick's balcony, a supposed "meme" among the girls who spend time at Dick's house.

Other TDS artists have even started to talk about how weird the whole situation is getting. According to the one that draws the titty Sonics, Dick gets awfully chatty whenever Mint or HeheSilly comes online in the TDS artists server

Speaking of Mintsalad, in the spergout clip I posted earlier, Dick claims to have been approached by Mint to call in about her parents' emails, but I seem to remember him replying to her tweet about it (without having tagged him) with 'LOL, you should call in'. I went back to get the screencap, but noticed that Dick deletes his old tweets now. How long has he been doing this?

Pardon the jumbled discord autism, but it's just to give a general sense of the degeneracy we're talking. And yes, Mint made her own hate thread on reddit (under the name /u/ChalkOrange) for attention, which she later deleted.

Mint's a fucking dumbass

Dedicated to the podcast by Dick Masterson, The Dick Show.

old.reddit.com

I don't know if all this is true (personally I'm leaning towards "no" just because she's such a butterface), but Dick certainly isn't doing himself any favors lashing out at people who criticize him over his handling of Mint and Riley.

I know it's been asked in different places, but why does anyone really care so much about all this?

I mean, Dick letting other guys fuck his girlfriend would be hilarious after all the Maddox shit, and "it's okay bro, I was watching and participating in the same room so it's not cheating" wouldn't make it less repulsive. He would deserve to be laughed at.

But even so, it's their lives. They can do whatever they want with consenting adults. And this concern trolling over Dick possibly getting some "barely legal" ass is really pathetic pearl-clutching that absolutely screams "Reddit." (The show's subreddit is cancer, btw.)

Plot twist: what if Dick is creating his own goss to sustain the show after the loss of Maddox goss?

 

[Sped Xing]

I just wish he wasn't making up lies where he still sounds pathetic. That's the sad part.

Why do people care so much? Because Dick has cultivated a new fanbase of young spergs. And in fairness, that sort of fan is way more likely to send him lots of monies than guys his own age.

 

[2021Murder]

this whole new conflict is because people didn't realize Dick is that miserly libertarian robber barron AnCap people mocked in the 2010s. He's the sort of idiot that thinks a real life Rapture would be great and thinks as long as its fun he should be allowed to hit on girls the girls playing field hockey at the local school.

Honestly there is no doubt in my mind that he was sexually assaulting women at UCB and that's why he got kicked out. Think about how easily he could joke his way out of being caught raping a 13 year old, and how much of his fanbase would still love him. We all know Ethan Ralph would be cheering him on if he saw Dick railing out Soph now or 5 years ago.

of course Dick was going to stiff people on bits, he wouldn't even loan money out to his friend Asterios and then sic'ed his whole fanbase on him when Asterios tried to do to Dick what Dick did to Maddox. Why do you think Dick can't find anyone to write bits for him despite living in fucking LA? Because he regularly fucks people over on pay. He said pretty early on that he couldn't find people to write bits for him besides Asterios. Now you know why.

I listened to the first 10ish episodes awhile back, and i remember him being really obnoxious to a guy kicked out of somewhere for his conservative views right before he was kicked out of UCB. He was pretty gleeful about some guy who had his bank accounted closed too. he basically wanted to be the token-conservative friend to all his buddies. shitting on anyone to the right of him and being open to any degeneracy. "depends on the child" was his real view on the matter before Sargon fucked that meme up.

basically Dick Masterson is a boomerman version of Kathy Zhu. except she isn't known for stabbing people in the back.

 

[ddlloo]

The show quality has been somewhat diminished in recent times, the Mint segment was quite uncomfortable, and it's a bit worrying seeing him beefing with fans becoming a regular thing.

That said, the recent twitter drama over the thumbnails and 'bits' has been great entertainment. Seeing Dick shit on Sonic Phase's holier than thou 'doing it all for the unpaid and confused masses' sperg out has been quite entertaining. So many people really are salty that Dick doesn't just give out ludicrous sums of money for their content.

 

[Sped Xing]

2008: Men are Better than Women
2020: Men are Acting like Women

Is "retard calls in to lie about fucking a hooker" going to become a weekly segment?

 

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

The show quality has been somewhat diminished in recent times, the Mint segment was quite uncomfortable, and it's a bit worrying seeing him beefing with fans becoming a regular thing.

That said, the recent twitter drama over the thumbnails and 'bits' has been great entertainment. Seeing Dick shit on Sonic Phase's holier than thou 'doing it all for the unpaid and confused masses' sperg out has been quite entertaining. So many people really are salty that Dick doesn't just give out ludicrous sums of money for their content.

I fell that the show has it's peaks and lulls. But then, what doesn't?
Every week can't have a new lolsuit, after all.
And as for Mint, I'm not really bothered by it. It might just be that I can kind of relate to parents sperging out, and it feels good to laugh at it. I get why others wouldn't like it, though.
The drama was really funny. People seem to forget that, at risk of sounding like Maddox, creators don't owe listeners much of anything. You listen or watch or whatever because you like it, typically. You send in fanart and the like because you want to show that you like it, not because you want to get paid. That's what commissions are for.

 

[frozenrunner]

Is "exceptional individual calls in to lie about fucking a hooker" going to become a weekly segment?

The Virgin Contest is still going on, so probably.

 

[4str4staleatherbelt]

It's all so tiresome.

 

[Pissmaster]

I vote we rename this thread to something like "Maddox / Dick Masterson and their communities" and move it to Community Watch so we'll have a thread that comfortably covers everyone associated with the C U Next Tuesday network and whatever Maddox is up to. They're all so closely tied together that they're inseparable. This would also cover all the nobodies and their shit like MyRoomRecords pulling a fast one on Dame Pesos and all of Asterios' weird shenanigans.

Also Crippled Jesus lied about getting laid with a hooker. He still made himself sound pathetic because it’s an easier story to accept because even he knows it stretches credibility to do anything less dysfunctional. Being a member of Dick’s Wack Pack seems pretty pathetic but I’m sure it’s the only thing keeping the sad fuck from going to Greenland.

Where'd he admit that?

 

[Sped Xing]

It really is a shame, but at least he has chosen his path.

Maddox, we know you read this, too. Come out of hiding, schatzi. Sit down mit us and tell us your Dick goss.

 

[Gangster Talk]

If only Jesse, Maddox, Matt, or anyone else in the Legion of Cuckoldry would come out and spill the big, dark secrets about Dick they've always implied they've known about. Why they've never done so before is a mystery, but if they exist, now would be the time wouldn't it?

It would be just hilarious if Maddox and Dick's arc mirrored the Opie and Anthony saga identically, to the point that Dick (Anthony) became such a raging alcoholic douchebag that the fanbase turned around and became ironic Maddox (Opie) superfans. Sadly I'm not sure things will be that interesting. I do like the idea of merging the threads if just as a fitting punishment for the faggotry of everyone involved. If there's any lesson it's that as far as relevance goes Dick is as reluctantly conjoined to his eskimo brother as Maddox is to him, since without a good punching bag his show tends to veer into this sort of boring gay fan drama.