Wuhan Coronavirus: Megathread - Got too big

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Judge Holden said:
Because me and some of the bois are mass hoarding them to fuel our post-apocalyptic industrial BRAAAP barn
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"the irony is that only a nerd could unlock her cyber panties"

Ah, there it is. I love it when this mask slips off. They want all the nerds' inventions, want to claim "nerd culture" (fucking kill me), and want to virtue signal about how dorky they are, but at the core of it they still fucking hate people that might be smarter than them or better than them at something.
 
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Slappy McGherkin said:
Higher powers? I have no idea of what to make of this. A friend sent it along.


At first, I thought it was the crystal waver that was a Dem candidate- Maryanne Williamson. May as well be.
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Well, the crystal types who were waiting for the pleiadian invasion or whateverthefuck in 2K finally got their 'global crisis' that is supposed to bring the invaders or rescuers or whatever to earth. I would love to be all rainbows and hope that when this shit dies down that some people might re-examine their beliefs a bit when it comes to supernatural white knights returning to put everything right. But I know it won't. It just ups the ante for them.

A lot of them have embraced elements of the qanon/conspiracy type stuff: I know of one guy who has been sure Af since 2015 that Trump was going to get rid of the fed(? he's apparently really fuzzy about this mechanism it's all reboiled nesara crap mixed with white knight aliens) and give every american a million bucks each. He was actually once a pretty successful guy, but he's been making some very stupid decisions for years on the premise that some sort of agenda is at work and next month we will get our check. We'll, now he'll get his check, I hope he won't be too dissappointed it is only $1200 and issued by the fed.

edit for subject verb consistency among other failings.
 
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In Memoriam said:
Why no more lentils... ever?
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This is a good question and fuck it, all the lentils are sold out for ever so I might as well answer.

Lentils provide many different food groups, from roughage to high protein to tastiness, to ease of cooking, low cost and general agreeableness with other foods.

Fucked if I know.

If you are into Indian food or that kind of thing then it's kind of a staple.

I found 3KG of Lentils for a tenner on ebay, but the fuckers wanted 3 quid P+P. Now, that works out at between twice and three times the normal price I would pay. I like Lentils, but not that much.

Also, lentils are pretty easy to cook. It's almost impossible to cook rice, let's face it. I did it once. By accident. No one has ever done it more than three times, even the fucking Pakis fuck it up. It sticks to the pot, it's too hard, it's too soft. Jesus what a fucking nightmare.

Lentils are all that is good and holy in this world. It's hard to fuck up. Not much more expensive than rice, and ten times easier to cook.

Of course, now all the lentils in the world will be gone. That is my intent. If I can't have them - no one else can. Buy lentils motherfuckers. Before stocks run out - oh wait..


No supermarket in the UK sells them. Paki shops will only sell to other pakis. Can not buy on ebay or amazon except for at 3 times the price.

Fuck it, they aren't even that nice.

Time to buy mung beans.


(mung beans all sold out)
 
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benutz said:
This is a good question and fuck it, all the lentils are sold out for ever so I might as well answer.

Lentils provide many different food groups, from roughage to high protein to tastiness, to ease of cooking, low cost and general agreeableness with other foods.

Fucked if I know.

If you are into Indian food or that kind of thing then it's kind of a staple.

I found 3KG of Lentils for a tenner on ebay, but the fuckers wanted 3 quid P+P. Now, that works out at between twice and three times the normal price I would pay. I like Lentils, but not that much.

Also, lentils are pretty easy to cook. It's almost impossible to cook rice, let's face it. I did it once. By accident. No one has ever done it more than three times, even the fucking Pakis fuck it up. It sticks to the pot, it's too hard, it's too soft. Jesus what a fucking nightmare.

Lentils are all that is good and holy in this world. It's hard to fuck up. Not much more expensive than rice, and ten times easier to cook.

Of course, now all the lentils in the world will be gone. That is my intent. If I can't have them - no one else can. Buy lentils motherfuckers. Before stocks run out - oh wait..


No supermarket in the UK sells them. Paki shops will only sell to other pakis. Can not buy on ebay or amazon except for at 3 times the price.

Fuck it, they aren't even that nice.

Time to buy mung beans.


(mung beans all sold out)
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But... these all sound like reasons there will be more lentils coming
 
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I saw other states were getting their national guard mobilized yesterday. I didn't see anyone mention that Missouri entered that list as well. (March, 28th)
JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. -- Missouri Governor Mike Parson signed an executive order Friday to begin mobilizing the Missouri National Guard to assist in the state's response to COVID-19.

“The COVID-19 crisis is constantly developing and changing, but we are taking steps each and every day to slow the spread and protect public health and safety,” Governor Parson said in a news release.

According to the governor, the National Guard will help provide more immediate resources to Missouri citizens and enhance the state's ability to overcome the outbreak.
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fox4kc.com

Governor Mike Parson signs order to mobilize Missouri National Guard to help state fight COVID-19 outbreak

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. — Missouri Governor Mike Parson signed an executive order Friday to begin mobilizing the Missouri National Guard to assist in the state’s response to COVID-19. “The …
fox4kc.com fox4kc.com
(archive)


The border war of Kansas VS Missouri isn't looking too hot for you Missouri types.
152f9a96-4d99-46bd-a357-8f73406f5986_image.jpg

www.kmbc.com

LIVE UPDATES: Kansas extends stay-at-home order through May 3; Missouri governor reviewing extension

Both Kansas and Missouri under stay-at-home orders.
www.kmbc.com www.kmbc.com
(archive)
 
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So I got curious about the situation in the banana republic again.

This time the president of the banana republic decided to take a stroll through a crowded local market, take a few selfies with his fans, mock the mayor of Sao Paulo for his obsession with security protocols for pandemics toilet paper and remind the populace that the government won't take care of anyone if things get too crazy.

Here are some choice quotes:
“I don't think that things will be as bad as in the USA because the Brazilian people don't get sick. You see those people jumping in the gutter. They swim in it and nothing happens to them.”
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Are the bananamen the pajeet of America? 🤔
“Nobody has to wait for a president or mayor to take care of anybody. If you don't have the capacity to take care of your parents or grandparents then that's your problem.”
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:story:








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Slappy McGherkin said:
Higher powers? I have no idea of what to make of this. A friend sent it along.

At first, I thought it was the crystal waver that was a Dem candidate- Maryanne Williamson. May as well be.
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These Galactic Federation types need to be colonized. Chinese would probably love to eat them.
Francis E. Dec Esc. said:
Just tell the Pajeets that if they don't stay indoors a witch will steal their penis or something.
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Enlist western thots to show pajeets their bobs and vagene over internet. Problem solved.
benutz said:
Even a dumb monkey will use a double space twice a day.
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Only dumb monkeys and redditor troglodytes use double new-lines - it looks like pants on this and any other site, that is not reddit.

tpalt_1_bidetpumped.jpg
 
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benutz said:
Also, lentils are pretty easy to cook. It's almost impossible to cook rice, let's face it. I did it once. By accident. No one has ever done it more than three times, even the fucking Pakis fuck it up. It sticks to the pot, it's too hard, it's too soft. Jesus what a fucking nightmare.
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Rice is easy in the oven. Get a small one quart, oven proof pot or glassware with a decently tight lid. One cup white rice, two cups water, bit of salt if preferred. Oven preheated to 350 degrees, bake for about twenty minutes. Take it out and check it, if it needs more time just throw it back in 5-10 minutes. For brown rice you up the water to 2 1/2 cups and bake about fourty five minutes. It sticks a lot less and won't risk burning like the stovetop does. Spraying the inside of the pan with oil helps a a bit too.
 
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Gog & Magog said:
102-year-old Italian Woman Recovers From Coronavirus
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"Doctors say her case impressed them so much that they decided to study it deeper.
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This is heartwarming. There’s a lot of evidence that once you hit a certain age you’re actually more likely to live a lot longer. There’s a type of little old lady (I aspire to be one) who is just invincible. She looks spry for her age, all the best to her
Autistic lurker said:
Things in India are about to explode. Panicking people fleeing from cities to countryside in hopes to escape from the coronavirus.
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This will be horrific. The population density there is something we as westerners just don’t really grasp. Even in crowded western cities, it’s nothing like India and I presume China is similar. So many people, so little free space. When this gets into India and Pakistan, and Africa, Syria... the thought is staggering.

I feel much better today. Cough has turned productive, which feels amazing. I never knew coughing Shit up could feel so good. I’ve been out for a potter in the yard. I may attempt to grow some lentils. No delivery slots for two weeks but we have supplies. Stay safe all.
 
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Otterly said:
This is heartwarming. There’s a lot of evidence that once you hit a certain age you’re actually more likely to live a lot longer. There’s a type of little old lady (I aspire to be one) who is just invincible. She looks spry for her age, all the best to her

This will be horrific. The population density there is something we as westerners just don’t really grasp. Even in crowded western cities, it’s nothing like India and I presume China is similar. So many people, so little free space. When this gets into India and Pakistan, and Africa, Syria... the thought is staggering.

I feel much better today. Cough has turned productive, which feels amazing. I never knew coughing Shit up could feel so good. I’ve been out for a potter in the yard. I may attempt to grow some lentils. No delivery slots for two weeks but we have supplies. Stay safe all.
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Population density of Mumbai (Bombay) is 21,000 per square kilometer, or close to 48 square meters per person.

Population density of Mumbai (Bombay) is 54,000 per square mile , or close to 517 square feet per person.
 
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The Nothingness said:
Why is this not a big news story? Is it because medical professionals and politicians don't want to jump the gun with giving hope to the public? Or is it because it came from France?
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Those are the Trump Pills.

The US Media would rather every single person in America die choking to death on their own lungs than give Trump a win.

So you won't hear about this until in a month when Biden gets the brilliant idea to try that particular mix of meds and then suddenly it'll be a miracle cure.
 
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