Horrorcow Jordan Duchnycz / Spirit Science / Jordan David River / Jordan Pearce - New Age pseudoscience powers ACTIVATE - now with rape!

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Now I see why the forum discourages OPs that try to be funny instead of just giving information and letting the posts sling the funny. Would it have been illegal or something to just post the vid or write up a transcript that doesn't give Chet Goldstein vibes? I want to get into this and you spent so long writing this all out but I don't need your hot takes on every single thing like this is text-based MST3k

Abethedemon said:
Jordan is the host of Spirit Science. It is a popular website and video series promoting New Age pseudohistory and pseudoscience whilst ripping off Extra Credits. [...]
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I knew the name sounded familiar! Remember someone tricking me thinking this was Extra Credits going crazy. Would've worked if Jordan was even 1/3 as annoying as the other guy. Good times, though. Dude's like a less obnoxious, more potentially psychologically unstable Zeitgeist The Movie.
What is it about Gnosticism that lures New Agers and Conspiracy Theorists to the same table, anyway? Not that growing aloe plants is a bad idea or that conspiracies don't exist, but I mean hardcore at the furthest level where we have dimensional demons sipping lavender tea with lizard people doing yoga meditation to fend off the Demiurge's mind rape.

CZ P10C Tactical said:
God, I love the OneyPlays talk about Jordy D
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You mean this? https://yewtu.be/watch?v=jxVQgUeSRvI
I didn't know this guy made flash games, too. It's always the crazy ones who have the most talents. Edit: They say this guy walked into an open heart surgery? Edit 2: Just read the thread. Man, it was so much fun laughing until the rape. Never underestimate the sway even a meager influence can have over someone I suppose, even if the influence comes from someone as retarded as this.
 
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The more I hear about Jordan and his essential snake oils the more I am reminded by a Hunter S Thompson quote.

"That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip. He crashed around America selling "consciousness expansion" without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook realities that were lying in wait for all the people who took him seriously... All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create... a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody... or at least some force - is tending the light at the end of the tunnel."

Taken from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
 
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The moment your beliefs into spirituality and transendence of being involves superpowers, 95% of the time that's a complete sham. I'd say something about promoting virtue and facing life's challenges with goodness and faith, but as Megadeth said, "Peace sells.... But who's buying?"

Even then, if your spiritual awakening grants you superpowers, anyone wise would keep it a secret from letting the coringible and corruptible world from taking advantage of it. Be glad we all have firearms and bombs than energy beams and magic.
 
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HiramTheGrift said:
I've watched "Our History is not What We Think" so many times, it's a classic. I've been showing it to friends for years and the amount of inside jokes thanks to the space Jews and ankhing your dick chakra. Has anyone watched their newest 4 hour documentary? Or at least a part of it? I'm thinking about giving it a crack and documenting it because this thread needs some love
The farms is full of New Age grifters but Spirit Science is easily among the craziest.

Edit: Just got the download link for the uncensored version and this is how they advertise their big docs
View attachment 2111639

Edit 2: Alright I've got a joint rolled and coffee in my cup - I'm ready to open all of my chakra glands - let's gooo

__________________The following is my take____________________
Part 1: The Holographic Demiurge AKA I watched The Matrix while dropping acid

They imediately begin discussing how the world is like The Matrix - something people definitely don't think about when they do a metric shit tonne of lsd.
I can definitely see the appeal of Spirit Science. It's like QAnon, insofar as they are both large tapestries of conspiracies tied to one grand narrative.
"Transcendant people do what is hard, and that is why their lives are easy"
"We share a metric buttload of memes online" - 9:13, I'm ashamed we use the same measurements
View attachment 2111658
He discusses the universe being a hologram. And how these "cosmic forces" that belie the universe are non-linear, so our actions now can affect the past.
Around 14:10 he starts talking about how ghosts and apparitions are some kind of "glitch" in the Matrix
"Even though science says these things (ie: birds disappearing, levitation) are impossible, quantum physics doesn't even follow science"
"As long as we believe in the physical world we won't be able to escape it"
"The soul is a source of light trapped in a cage of darkness" - Thoth's Emerald Tablets - Sounds pretty Heaven's Gate rn
"We actively perpetuate the demiurge through our beliefs" - man's explicitly arguing our thoughts affect DNA
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Thanks, I hate it.
This first part is all about establishing how special the viewer is for "seeing past the facade of our percieved reality" and since they're so special they should watch this whole thing. Not knowing how this goes forward, I was very uncomfortable with the constant "You need to embrace the void and forsake the physical" because it's giving me Jonestown vibes
___End Chapter 1___

I'm spoilering the rest from here because I'm 20 minutes in to a 4 hour documentary and this'll be long

It opens with a warning that it's dark episode, I'm assuming pedophilia but I'm hoping for space jews
View attachment 2111670
Ahhhh minute 20 we have the Epstein connection, with the Clinton's being mentioned at 23:10
He claims Epstein was a domino
At minute 23:50 he says the ruling elite gain their power from children and adrenochrome oh wow I wasn't expecting so much so fast
He's going full Alex Jones with the torturing kids bit, and then cites his sources as Clockwork Orange, Fear and Loathing, and Aldous Huxley.
View attachment 2111672
He's citing Sidney Powell, Trump's temporary legal council that he fired because she was too crazy
View attachment 2111674
MY MAN'S TALKING ABOUT REPTILIANS:story:
These elites are pawns of the shape shifting reptilians (Minute 27) and they're changing and enslaving us. They're called...wait for it...THE DEEP STATE
They're editing our genes through monsanto
Alcoa wants to put fluoride in our water because they have a shit ton of aluminum and needed to put the biproduct somewhere, and it makes us more submissive I guess
View attachment 2111676
He cites this disgraced academic about why fluoride will sleep with your daughter and make you take care of the kid
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Tech is making us degenerate. To be fair, you're using a computer to read the farms so he's not wrong.
That's the 45 minute mark, see you in chapter 3

Alright I just brewed some more coffee, and I'm really enjoying the ride so far. still about three hours left to go
We're resuming at minute 45
Oh yiss we're in ufo territory now, apparently the whole section about the reptilians wasn't alien enough.
View attachment 2111694
He cites Robert Dean, former army major and living person, his credibility is his pony tail.

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I don't really know what her deal is but she's the only nice one to look at so I'm sharing the love
UFOs exist, we went to the moon, and NASA is suppressing info about aliens because it'll destroy our religions
UFOs can bend light, and are hard to get into - but apparently the government has one
There's not a lot of info on it though, because each research team is assigned one room in the UFO and cannot communicate with the other research teams
Sounds dumb, but also the most believable part of this doc so far because the feds would 100% think this is a good idea
View attachment 2111699
High quality JRE interview around minute 53
Spirit Science isn't sure if we don't know about aliens because they're being hidden by the autistic illuminati or we haven't ascended yet
NAZI SCIENTISTS JOINED THE US SPACE PROGRAM...CURIOUS???
View attachment 2111704
Hell yes Icke time
British PM Ted Heath is confirmed alien with yellow eyes at the 1 hour mark
During his discussion about Icke (1:01:00) he mentions major organizations that control the world for the NWO. Without revealing my powerlevel, I have worked for two of these organizations and can confirm they are too incompetent to run the world, let alone their own office picnics.
Aliens don't like us because we have a psychic odor that makes us stinky, mean, and intergalactic uggos

Alright I'm over one our in, 2 1/2 to go

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He opens with an actually valid criticism of big tech, discussing how users of free services are the product.
It's almost a very solid point until he says it doesn't matter because reality is an illusion
View attachment 2111728
He's discussing deepfakes and how it makes it difficult to determine what's real, also true
Now he's discussing microchips and Elongated Muskrat's Neuralink at 1:08:00
We're apparently going to use chips to connect ourselves to the internet and download all of the information.
That would be pretty cool tbh until I accidentally download 16 petabites of Tumblr porn and fanfic to my brain and I collapse into a black hole
We're going to have cyborg eyes and see pokemon everywhere because we'll use it for vr

This is probably going to be the shortest chapter I write about because he just spergs about hunting dragons in vr with some woman instead of going on a coffee date idk
He says reality could be forsaken and gross because we're going to be obsessed with the virtual world and make it perfect. According to his own logic though, the physical world isn't real and shouldn't matter how we take care of it
View attachment 2111739
When we connect to the internet with our brains and join the Matrix VR game the big tech will take over our brains because our species is literally too lazy to ready the user agreement - literally. 1:19:00

He's discussing how social media and tech is designed to be addicting, and this whole part is honestly pretty good. It's funny because he can properly recognize the bad situation we have let emerge, but he thinks it's because of aliens and child molesters which is just 10/10

He said there are two types of people who handled COVID: People who wear masks and freak out, and people who sat at home and learned new skills

View attachment 2111754
One of the many commenters on their website

So who's running this show? At minute 1:31:00 "Q refers to them as the "Deep State" - but so does Spirit Science, so take that as you will
"Power grows in secret, show how do we know where the real power is?" Sounds like a problem, chief
View attachment 2111763
Some ~40% of Americans think the government concealed 9/11 info
Then he goes on talking about how wallstreet took puts against the airline industry on 9/10, which is not abnormal given tourist season had just ended

Lol at 1:40:00 he claims a missile hit the pentagon, and all eye witnesses were paid actors and the plane debris on the scene was deliberately placed there. Also the footage of the plane striking the Pentagon were edited.
View attachment 2111789
GUYS SADDAM HUSSEIN FOUND A STARGATE (1:41:00)
Apparently Saddam was going to use the Stargate to harrass the Anunaki and expose their existence, so Bush faked 9/11 to invade

View attachment 2111794
Apparently MK-Ultra is associated with time travel
He explains how psychoactives like LSD were used to "hypnotize" people and suggests they were used to create mass delusions surrounding 09/11 and COVID 1:51:00
OH SHIT
This next section is removed from the Youtube clip and it covers QAnon
I've been playing the Youtube and unedited one side-by-side and this is the first major difference. Because it's not in the Youtube video I will not be providing time stamps
View attachment 2111809
So Spirit Science endorses Q, goes into the history briefly and the belief system. He's fairly accurate about their beliefs, even explaining the awakening. He says the Clintons, Soros, Obama, and other celebrities are part of the cabal.
He goes on about Comet Pizza being targeted as a child sex ring but it being a false flag to distract the good guys.
"If QAnon is fake then why is it being snuffed out across the internet?" I guess it doesn't help since this thing is what got the video removed at first

Woaaahh so apparently there are two secret governments. One is good and one is evil. QAnon is targeting the evil one, and there's these good enlightened aliens who are also pulling the strings. I'm not entirely sure about how the internal political dynamic works between these two cabals, but that's pretty cool they can have a turf war on our planet without us finding out.

"The greatest part of our story is still yet to come."
Don't edge me like this Spirit Science, how much more can you blow my mind in an hour and a half?
Let's press on

I have no idea where this chapter is going to go, but I'm excited.

Wow, I can't say I'm surprised but I didn't expect this
Space Lasers
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Tesla's inventions are being used for evil, and these space lasers are causing the Californian and Australian wildfires
at 1:58:00 he shows "energy signatures" emanating in the center of the country around the time California had a gender reveal party in the middle of the woods
But why would we burn down our own land?
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Because we want high speed rails and the fkn trees keep getting in the way. Welcome to a Buttigieg presidency, libs
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Oh good lol Hugo Chavez apparently blamed US space lasers for causing the Haitian earthquake. Luckily Spirit Science admits Chavez claimed this with no evidence and scientists believe it was caused by moving tectonic plates. He said this verbatim at 2:00:00
I would like to hear Chavez' response to the space laser controversy, but like many of Spirit Science's sources, he's fucking dead

The US government is using HAARP to switch the magnetic poles, because the government doesn't have enough problems right now.
He claims HAARP is to blame for people hearing a light humming noise across the world, then proceeds to describe tinnitus
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Ok, he lost me at this part, but there's this ship called the Philadelphia that they experimented with and it could teleport randomly across the ocean
There were two witnesses, one made a movie about it and everyone saw him as a con artist, the other guy watched the movie and then claimed he was brainwashed to forget that he witnessed the experiment but the movie brought the memories back.

Now he's discussing the Mandela Effect , Berenstain Bears, Looney Tunes, etc
This is apparently evidence that we're shifting through dimensions and yada yada yada

Right out of the gate COVID-19 is a bullshit pandemic
View attachment 2111931
He claims that vaccines are trying to inject us with nanonparticles to make us submissive and prevent ascension
-The following bit is also censored by Youtube so I cannot provide a timestamp
He's talking about "the great reset" and how global elites are trying to conspire against the public
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He says the Great Reset is objective fact, and describes it as, "A great rewriting of world systems"
Everything will blur from black and white to grey
Dates will be referred to as BC=Before Corona and AC=After Corona

Not relevant, but he mentions how plagues affected the Byzantine Empire and I really hate how he pronounces Byzantine

The social contract will change where everyone will be more sustainable and inclusive (in a bad way)

Most of this is babbling about how COVID is super transmissible to humans, suggesting it's manmade

View attachment 2111978

"This virus was definitively planned or put forth by a high level of authority"
He advertises his other documentary Plandemic. Maybe I'll check that out next

He continues repeating some claims by various scientists that the virus could have been manufactured by the commies
View attachment 2111995
Here he mentions quantum dots (and reads of the wikipedia introduction paragraph verbatim) and how they are going to be used to track people
He cites Bill Gates' involvement in vaccine distribution, implying he's going to brainwash us to by Xboxes

Patent 060606 is mentioned, Microsoft's patent for some crypto nft thing. He implies it will be used to chip humans and gather information about them. Something that makes no sense, since a microchip isn't part of the patent. He's just stressed because it has three sixes.
"By activating your light body you will be able to resist the panic amidst the chaos"

At this point the unedited version and the youtube version deviate slightly, so I will not be providing timestamps for the few remaining chapters

So the demiurge is real and it leaves inside all of us
View attachment 2112016
We live in sad paradigms of existence limited by our limited belief systems
"When a doctor recommends you medication to help them with their illnesses, they take it and don't ask questions"

We learned the lessons of quarantine, it erodes the sole and makes us submissive, unable to ascend
There are also layers of quarantine within ourselves, apparently

Humans are obsessed with enslavement, domination and subjugation

He discusses the absolute, unironic animal holocaust in weird detail
View attachment 2112028
Speciesism is keeping aliens from contacting us, because if we are going to harm animals, we'll reject the aliens

If we go to space then we'd go subjugating the aliens that are apparently subjugating us right now. So we need to wait until we're space Gandhi and will peacefully resist them until we leave in peace with them

"The Illuminati is operating child sex rings in the Matrix," another direct quote

We must develop spiritual technology so we can advance to space

OOooooOOOooOOoOoOooOOO

The final half hour stretch is just below

We've finally made it! The finale!

"We are undergoing an exponential increase of veils being lifted"
"The lights are collectively turning on. And now there is so much light we are blind"

View attachment 2112097
Guards, arrest this hippie

View attachment 2112105
Man's quoting Master Yoda unironically

He said that people change literally change their DNA with just belief, saying over 95% of defects have nothing to do with DNA issues. Even if that were true it's seriously overlooking that other 5%.
View attachment 2112112
People who do psychedelics can communicate with other dimensions, but the trade-off is that they lose their minds.
So hear me out, what if they lost their minds and aren't actually talking with extra-dimensional people?

Spirit Science is recommending you check out their reviews on spiritual retreats to trigger your spiritual awakening
Not all shamans are prepared to deal with the depths of psychedelic energy so be careful who you ascend with

Change is a universal constant and society does not change

We can transform ourselves into deities by mastering the "three parts of wisdom" that control the universe: Alchemy, Astrology, and Faergy

"Could it truly be possible to master our bodies, our minds, and our consciousness to break free from the limits of our physical world, but also time and space as well?" no

"If Jesus could do it so can we"

"With enough conscious presence in the body and a strong enough light body we can control the forces of nature"

We will be able to "quantumly entangle" ourselves in space

"FInd your own truth" also "Wait those guys are wrong"

Lol he finished with, "And all of this is just a theory...a conspiracy theory!" like it was game theory jfc

That concludes the Conspiracy of Everything. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, lads and ladettes.

Well that was a fun four hours that were definitely not wasted. Someone recommend me some more of their videos to cover
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Now this is some quality fucking content right here. Well done, @HiramTheGrift.
 
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The idea of a greater evil wanting to keep the population content, demotivated, and inactive sounds plausible. But I think it’s strange to try and offset that by dumping a bunch of grand conspiracies on these same people lol
I always thought it’d be funny if these conspiracies were intentionally “slipped” and spread as to have a mass of people will them into existence. (Like that 9/11 South Park episode and how the NWO weaponized rumors becoming reality in Persona 2)
... I’m not a total schizo, I swear lol

I did enjoy that video as I thought it’d be neat idea for a story, but lost it at space Jews. I had to take a double check.

One time I was telling a friend about it, and this thought came to mind loool
 

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Back in my edgy atheist days when I was watching nothing but atheists arguing with creationists, I came across spirit science.

And let me tell you, I learned to respect religion way more compared to Jordy's nonsensical fucking ramblings about consciousness projection, dick chakras, and the moon being fucking hollow.

Jesus Christ, the Holy Mother, Allah, Yahweh, Buddha, or the many Hindu gods seem way less crazy compared to the weird shit Jordy preaches.
 
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Alex Poulos said:
Oh no, not this shit again.
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Not only is he back on the ganja, he's taken his grifting to whole new levels. I expected to click on Space Jews and Tantric Buddhism like the old days, but instead it's all Qboomers, Plandemic, and there's some random 9/11 trutherism thrown in just for shits and giggles.
I guess the JO crystal sales were running a bit low.
:story:
 
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oh shit, i had forgotten about this crazy fuck, years ago i watched the entire documentary because youtube kept recommending it for whatever reason and once i realized it was not a joke and totally batshit i had to keep going. It was like the world most retarded anime but being told in the Extra Credits format, i actually thought it was related to Extra Credits.
 
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