12/11/13 - Consider Me Dead

[DrChristianTroy]

Chris is never going to buy a gun, and he sure as hell isn't going on any killing sprees.

Whatever you can say about any violent tendencies he may or may not have isn't the important point. The important point is that getting a weapon and going on a spree are things that require a lot of effort, and Chris's mind always has a light at the end of that infinite tunnel of shit he lives in - the light being, maybe someone else will do it. Therefore, even if he wanted to he'd wait forever for it to be done for him.

Cue the weens mailing him a pickle gun

 

[CatParty]

Chris is never going to buy a gun, and he sure as hell isn't going on any killing sprees.

Whatever you can say about any violent tendencies he may or may not have isn't the important point. The important point is that getting a weapon and going on a spree are things that require a lot of effort, and Chris's mind always has a light at the end of that infinite tunnel of shit he lives in - the light being, maybe someone else will do it. Therefore, even if he wanted to he'd wait forever for it to be done for him.

Cue the weens mailing him a pickle gun

 

[Marvin]

I think when Barb dies, Chris is going to attempt to move in with Anna, because there is nobody else he has left. He doesn't even have Rocky anymore.

Nah, he's still got Rocky if he needs her.

Not to move in with, though. Which he'll probably try to do, and get shot down.

Oh, yeah, no, but he's never had Rocky on hand to move in with in the first place. I just thought they said that he didn't have Rocky anymore in general and I was just pointing out that that wasn't the case.

 

[Coldgrip]

You know, Rocky is just another old woman. That would be a step up for Chris? To move in with her?

Rocky may not be the brightest person out there, but she's not that stupid. No way in hell she'd let Baby Huey move in with her.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

You know, Rocky is just another old woman. That would be a step up for Chris? To move in with her?

Rocky may not be the brightest person out there, but she's not that stupid. No way in hell she'd let Baby Huey move in with her.

Ehhh... What if it were a case where it was literally a choice between taking Chris in, or letting him live under a bridge? Given Chris's inability to cultivate better options, I could see that happening down the road.

It could prove to be an interesting conflict between Rocky's sense of charity and her sense of self-preservation.

 

[Marvin]

You know, Rocky is just another old woman. That would be a step up for Chris? To move in with her?

Rocky may not be the brightest person out there, but she's not that stupid. No way in hell she'd let Baby Huey move in with her.

Ehhh... What if it were a case where it was literally a choice between taking Chris in, or letting him live under a bridge? Given Chris's inability to cultivate better options, I could see that happening down the road.

It could prove to be an interesting conflict between Rocky's sense of charity and her sense of self-preservation.

She'd probably let him stay at the church or something. Like an activity room or something.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Ehhh... What if it were a case where it was literally a choice between taking Chris in, or letting him live under a bridge? Given Chris's inability to cultivate better options, I could see that happening down the road.

It could prove to be an interesting conflict between Rocky's sense of charity and her sense of self-preservation.

She'd probably let him stay at the church or something. Like an activity room or something.

Sure... for a week, or a month... but would the church let him stay long-term? And how long until he clutters up the activity room with plushie boobs and sailor moon posters? Will he throw a fit if he can't PSTriple on the church TV?

I'm sure Chris could find a bunch of people to put up with him for a night or two, but all that does is kick the autistic down the road a bit.

 

[Coldgrip]

You know, Rocky is just another old woman. That would be a step up for Chris? To move in with her?

Rocky may not be the brightest person out there, but she's not that stupid. No way in hell she'd let Baby Huey move in with her.

Ehhh... What if it were a case where it was literally a choice between taking Chris in, or letting him live under a bridge? Given Chris's inability to cultivate better options, I could see that happening down the road.

It could prove to be an interesting conflict between Rocky's sense of charity and her sense of self-preservation.

Maybe it's just me being cynical, but I get the feeling she'd tell him something along the lines of 'god helps those that help themselves' and wash her hands of him. I just really don't see her taking him in, trying to set him up in some sort of halfway house (and Chris flat out telling her "Halfway House, NO!") I can see, but not actually letting him live with her.

 

[CWCissey]

Chris is never going to buy a gun, and he sure as hell isn't going on any killing sprees.

Whatever you can say about any violent tendencies he may or may not have isn't the important point. The important point is that getting a weapon and going on a spree are things that require a lot of effort, and Chris's mind always has a light at the end of that infinite tunnel of shit he lives in - the light being, maybe someone else will do it. Therefore, even if he wanted to he'd wait forever for it to be done for him.

Cue the weens mailing him a pickle gun

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[Globe]

This guilt tripping shit is getting at me a little. I'm not mad, just annoyed.

The thing I find the most irritating about Chris' attempts at guilt-tripping is how obviously disingenuous he is about it. Guilt-tripping is vexing enough on its own, but it's that much worse when the person trying to guilt you acts like they cared about you when they clearly didn't, and Chris has done this virtually every time, even when he's trying to be passive-aggressive about it. Megan was nothing but a piece of meat to Chris. If his behavior didn't demonstrate that, the bullshit he prattled about liking her for her "pretty face and cute bod" after one of his October rants clearly do.

...But when he decides that "apologizing" to her might bag him some sympathy points, what does he do?

"B'AAWWW, I AM HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU, MAYGAN "

In the video where he begs the Wallflower to fuck him, he acknowledges only having an interest in her to save himself from having to pay money for a hooker. But towards the end of the video when he wants to play the victim card, what does he do?

"Heartaches HURT! Why don't you thank abowt that? "

Really, what's going on with his "friends" from high school is just an extension of that bullshit with a slightly more platonic tone. Emphasis on "slightly". Chris never cared about or respected them anymore than he cared about or respected Wally and Megan, they served as a support for his ego and nothing more. He knows this, but he's okay with lying about it because he thinks hardcore "I CARED ABOUT YOU, LOOK AT HOW YOU'VE HURT ME" guilt-tripping is going to make one of them come around and pick up the pieces of his shattered little delusions.

I don't know what kills my sympathy quicker, how ineffective and plain-out obnoxious it is, or how painfully obvious it is that all his whining about "caring" and "respecting" is just him talking out his gelatinous autistic ass.

 

[CatParty]

"considered dead" for new forum rank

 

[Tubular Monkey]

If Chris planned a murder / suicide, he'd start with the suicide. Cause he's dumb.

 

[butt in trouble]

Wouldn't be hilarious if during the reunion (assuming anyone even shows up) all of Chris' classmates ignored him because they're suppose to consider Chris dead?

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Now that it's been mentioned, I kinda would like for Chris to end up living under a bridge.

For irony.

 

[Donald Duck]

Now that it's been mentioned, I kinda would like for Chris to end up living under a bridge.

For irony.

 

[HandBanana]

Doesn't everyone from Chris's past consider him dead or non-existent already?

 

[cypocryphy]

So, does he think he can will a reunion into existence because they happen in TV and movies? I also suppose he's expecting to act out some revenge fantasy where he tells everyone off?

 

[Seahorses]

So, does he think he can will a reunion into existence because they happen in TV and movies? I also suppose he's expecting to act out some revenge fantasy where he tells everyone off?

I think what he would expect is that everyone would elaborate on how awesome his NOT-PAPER medal is and then, of course, all his high school gal-pals (and boyfriend free sweethearts under 150lbs) would get to line up for the opportunity at a slow dance with him.

All under the supervision of Barbara, mind you.

 

[Doge]

So, does he think he can will a reunion into existence because they happen in TV and movies? I also suppose he's expecting to act out some revenge fantasy where he tells everyone off?

Doesn't he always? I'm surprised he didn't expect to crash Sarah Hammer's wedding to steal her from Spicer.

 

[Venusaur]

So, does he think he can will a reunion into existence because they happen in TV and movies? I also suppose he's expecting to act out some revenge fantasy where he tells everyone off?

Now would be a good time for Chris to watch Carrie. With his love for mixing media together, he might really enjoy the movie now if he inserts himself into it.

Carrie=Chris
Carrie's Mom= Barbara
Prom= Reunion

He can delight himself on obliterating the traitors from highschool with his sonichu powers.